Heero POV Part 2

Out of my Head Part 2

"Hello?"

"Heero! You have to come down to the hospital right away!" Trowa's voice is harsh with fear. The duffel drops out of my hand. No...

"What happened?"

"We had an accident- drunk driver smashed into the car..."

"What hospital?" I demand. Trowa tells me and then I'm in the car and I don't remember how I got there. I suppose it's a minor miracle in itself that I don't have an accident getting to the hospital.

Trowa is pacing the lobby when I arrive. He's a mess... rumpled and bloodied and for a moment I wonder why the hell he's walking around before I realize that it's not his blood.

Not his blood.

Oh gods...

I must've made some sound because he turns and stares at me for a moment. Then he grabs me. Trowa never grabs anyone. If anything that drives it more home how serious this is. I put my arm around him and hold him tightly in return. "Tell me."

"Quatre's in surgery- internal bleeding... they don't know how bad....Wufei is unconscious, they are scanning him right now to see what got injured... he was bleeding so badly...It was everywhere..." I'm not sure which one was bleeding badly, but it doesn't matter.

"Duo?" I ask.

"Surgery... his legs got crushed..." I close my eyes and then Trowa is holding me tightly. "He was talking to me though, Heero. I'm sure he's going to be okay... He talked to me the whole time until the paramedics got there..."

Relief sweeps through me. Duo was talking. Then again, Duo would chatter on his deathbed, but I'm taking whatever reassurance I can at this point.

"The others? Who did you call?"

"Sally's here. Relena and Doro are at that conference- I just left a message..."

The fact Sally is here relieves me. She will be honest with us.

Trowa's grip hasn't slackened. "What am I going to do if they don't make it Heero?" His voice is soft in my ear and I hear the anguish underneath.

"They'll make it." I tell him, unwilling to consider any other possibilities. "You know they will. They won't leave you."

I hold him tightly, feeling the warmth of tears against my cheek, knowing they aren't mine. I tug Trowa over to the side of the lobby, making him sit next to me on a beat up couch. Then I just hold him for a long time. I can't find anything else to say to him, but I can be here for him.

"There you are." A familiar voice makes both of us look up. Sally stands in front of us, looking tired, but not sad. That gives me hope.

"News?" I ask her. She looks at Trowa first.

"Quatre made it out okay. He has some cracked ribs, but we found the internal bleeding and stopped it. Wufei has a bad concussion- he'll be fine. You can go in and see him now if you like. You'll have to wait a bit to see Quatre- they are monitoring him pretty closely." I feel him heave a sigh, and I let him go. He doesn't need me to hold onto anymore.

Sally turns to me. "Duo is awake and asking for you."

For some reason, that surprises me. "He knew I was here?"

"Where else would you be?" Sally smiles. "Come on." She gets to her feet and we follow her down the corridors. We leave Trowa at a door. I peek in and see Wufei stretched out on the bed. Trowa goes immediately to his side and I turn away, not wanting to intrude on their time.

Duo is a few more doors down and Sally leaves me outside his room. "You can stay for a little bit- but he needs to rest." She cautions as I put my hand on the doorknob.

"How bad is it?" I ask, realizing that I had been more focused on seeing him than anything else.

"Not too bad. He's a bit bruised. Both of his lower legs are broken, but that's all. You'll have to help him out until they heal. He was very lucky." She pats my arm and gives me a teasing smile. "I know you won't mind carrying him around for six weeks or so, now will you?"

Sally vanishes down the hallway, back towards Trowa and Wufei. I stare after her for a moment, dismayed.

I hadn't even thought of what this would mean. Duo can't be left alone... he's stuck with me until his legs heal- and from what Sally said, it's going to be a while.

Damn it. He was almost free.

I push open the door and step into the room. Duo is propped up in the bed, a nurse next to him, her hand on his wrist. Despite everything, Sally's reassurances and all, it relieves me to see him sitting up and talking to the nurse.

"Heero!" He smiles for me and I see the pain underneath it. "I knew you were here." His free hand reaches out for me and I move forward to take it. There's a bruise on his cheek and I see scratches on the hand and arm that he has outstretched to me. I'm careful not to squeeze his hand too tightly when I take it. His legs are stretched out in front of him, slightly elevated, both in splints from right below the knee down to his toes.

His grip is weak and I raise his hand up to my mouth without thinking. I'm not usually demonstrative in front of others, but I don't care what the nurse thinks. I'm relieved to see him and confirm for myself that he's okay. I kiss his knuckles gently.

The nurse gives me a quick glance and a smile. "He said you would be here. Maybe now that you are he'll get some sleep."

"I'm not tired," Duo protests, even though I can see the strain of fatigue in the corners of his eyes.

"You need to rest," I tell him, finding my voice at last. I sit down beside him, letting my fingers curl tighter around his. "Please?"

"I'm not tired."

"You're exhausted. I can see it right here." I reach out and touch the corner of his eye. "You need to sleep. Now."

"That's a good boyfriend." The nurse gives me another smile and vanishes.

Duo's fingers squeeze mine. "I'm really sorry..."

Why is he apologizing?

"It wasn't your fault a drunk driver hit you..."

"I mean right before I left." He smiles sheepishly. "The whole time all I could think of was that I needed to stay alive so I could apologize for being a jerk..." That makes me smile a little.

"You needed to stay alive for more than that." I kiss his fingers again. "Duo, put your head down. Close your eyes. I'm right here and you need the rest."

"So bossy," he mutters, but he does as I ask. I watch his breathing settle into a rhythm and I close my eyes tightly, putting his hand against my cheek.

What the hell do I do now? Six more weeks at least. Six weeks of Duo trapped at home with me. Six weeks more of watching him hide his true feelings... and how bad will it get if he's at home with me all the time?

I don't know how long I stay there, holding Duo's hand, eyes closed, trying to block the tears. I didn't want to do this to him... I don't want to do this to myself. I had finally made myself go, and now I had to stay. I should've packed faster...

But what if I had left before that phone call?

That thought hurts worse as I imagine what would have happened. Duo would be lying here alone, waiting for me, wondering what happened...

I can't leave him now. He needs someone to look after him.

Though he could go to Quatre's... but then I wouldn't know how he was doing...

Better to stay, hurting or not. Then I can leave when he is whole and healthy. Besides maybe enforced time in my presence will make him see that what we have isn't working...

A hand touches my head. "Time to go home Heero. You need some rest. Duo should sleep for a while." Sally. Her voice is soft and gentle. "Heero- he's going to be fine. I promise you. You'll have him back home with you soon. He won't be able to go to work for a while, but I'm sure that all that extra time together..."

"...will make him hate me worse." I finish, whispering it into Duo's palm. I hear her take in a sharp breath.

"Duo doesn't hate you!" She protests in a fierce whisper. "Heero- why would you even say such a thing?"

"Yes he does." I tell her, shocked at myself. "I was packed up and ready to go tonight when Trowa called..." I swallow the rest.

"Heero!" She is still whispering, but she's getting madder. I didn't mean to make Sally mad. I didn't mean to say anything at all. "Are you crazy?"

I bite back all the rest of the things that want to come out. Now is not the time. Not with Duo right beside us. "I wish I was," slips out before I lock it all down. I carefully loosen Duo's fingers from mine.

Sally's hand smacks the back of my head and I look up at her in surprise. I see her falter for a moment at my expression before she recovers. "Stop that! Duo loves you." She's frowning at me, hand still poised behind my head. "Did you fall down the stairs on your way here? Hit your head? Maybe I need to examine you!"

Damn it. I can't do this now. "I'm fine Sally. I'm sorry. I think it's just the stress. I'll go home and get some sleep. What time can I come see Duo at tomorrow?" I retreat back behind my walls. Sally is still frowning at me.

"Visiting hours start at 9. I know Duo will be waiting for you."

"I'll be here then." I get to my feet. Duo's eyes are closed, his breathing even, but there's a tension line between his eyebrows. It's the one he gets when he's in pain. I touch it gently with the tip of my finger, trying to soothe it away. But my touch can't soothe Duo anymore. The line deepens as I touch it. "Make sure they give him something for the pain?"

"Of course," Sally sees me to the door, watches me walk down the hall. I have a feeling I just gained a watchdog of sorts.

Great. Just great.

Once I get home I unpack my duffel, making sure to put everything back where it belongs. The bed is too big and empty without Duo, so I make my way to the couch and curl up there.

It's a long time before I manage to fall asleep.

Pounding. Continuous pounding. I blink myself awake and look at the clock. 10 am? How did I sleep so late? Damn it. The pounding continues and I wonder if someone is trying to break the door down.

I go to the door and fling it open, mostly to stop the noise.

Trowa is standing there, grim-faced. "You are here."

"Yeah, I couldn't fall asleep until 5 or so... I guess I overslept."

"Duo sent me over. He was worried when you didn't show up this morning."

I close my eyes and groan. "Damn. I didn't mean to worry him."

"But you did." Trowa gives me a push towards the bathroom. "Go shower. I'll call him and then we can go to the hospital together."

The shower is accomplished quickly. I throw on some clothes and head back out to the living room. Trowa is sitting by the window, looking out.

"I'm ready."

"Good."

"How are Quatre and Wufei?" I ask as I follow him out of the apartment.

"Wufei woke up last night. His head hurts and his vision is blurry, but he should improve. Quatre is better. They expect him to wake up soon."

"I'm surprised you left the hospital," I tell him. "I'm sorry that I overslept and dragged you out here." Trowa gives me an odd look.

"Duo was frantic. He wouldn't calm down until I promised to go. He called..."

"I didn't hear it." I shake my head. "I should've put the phone next to my ear- but I was so tired last night. How stupid of me." Trowa's mouth opens a bit as if he's going to say something. But he doesn't.

Trowa and I don't speak the rest of the way to the hospital. I'm worrying about Duo and I'm sure he's worrying about the other two. When we get to the hospital, he leaves me at Duo's door before heading down to Wufei's.

I push open the door and go in, apology ready to be made. Duo is sitting up, nearly the same position he was in last night. There is a tray beside the bed with a closed laptop on it. It looks beat up and I deduce that he either borrowed it from the hospital or Trowa brought him one to keep him occupied. I am going to have to think of things for him to do too. Duo doesn't like being idle.

He looks up at me and I am surprised to see that he looks worse this morning. His eyes have dark circles under them and the hand he raises towards me is shaking.

I go and take it just as I had last night, but instead of sitting down on the chair, Duo tugs me closer until I sit down on the edge of the bed, carefully avoiding his legs. His fingers are tight around mine.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I just couldn't fall asleep last night. I didn't get to sleep until this morning and I didn't mean to oversleep. I didn't even hear the phone ring..." I apologize to him.

His free hand catches me around the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. He kisses me hesitantly, stopping my apology, and I began to worry. Why isn't he saying anything?

"Duo? How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm okay," he says in a soft voice. "I hurt a little." That is more than likely an understatement. Judging by Duo's pale complexion, I would think he hurts quite a bit. "The doctors said I can go home today if I'm careful."

Home would be better for Duo. "What do we have to do to prove to them you'll be careful? I'm sure you'd rather be home. Is there a way I have to have it set up for you? Tell them I'm going to take care of you?"

That earns me another one of those tentative kisses. "I don't want to be a bother..." his voice is much softer now. I smile for him.

"You aren't. Should I go find your doctor?"

"He'll be here soon I'm sure." Duo's hands tighten on me. "Stay here?"

"Of course," I brush the bangs out of his face. His braid is a mess. "Do you have a brush here? I should've grabbed one. I can redo this for you..."

"I don't know." I get to my feet and Duo lets me go.

"Let me check." Sure enough there's a wrapped comb in the bathroom. That will work if I'm very careful.

Duo is silent as I work on his hair a little piece at a time trying not to pull. I'm hoping he falls asleep again, he looks so tired, but his eyes stay open and fixed on me the whole time.

Sally comes in as I'm finishing up Duo's braid. She gives me a faint frown, but she smiles at Duo. "Good news! You can go home."

"Do we need anything for him?" I ask.

"I'll bring it over," she tells me. "You just take him home and make him comfortable."

TBC...

 

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