No Braid Part 3
He didn't answer right away- and I wasn't too surprised. He just sat quietly beside me, his fingers still buried in my hair, his breathing steady and even.
I suppose I should've wanted him to say more, to apologize again- but the nightmare still lurked in the edges of my mind and I simply welcomed the chance to ground myself.
Not in the hospital.
Not bound.
Not trapped.
Just here.
I tried to match my breathing to Heero's, leaned a little closer to drive the chill away. I shivered a little in the air. It looked like Heero had just pulled my boots off and put me on the bed in only my jeans. I could get up and change, but I didn't want to move. Not yet. What I really wanted was to close my eyes but I didn't quite dare. It would be too easy to fall asleep again.
His hand ghosted over my side again. "Does it feel like you popped any more stitches?"
The question gave me something to focus on. "I don't think so- are the bandages showing anything?"
"Let me see," he moved away just enough and tugged gently on me, until I stretched out flat. He ran his hand over my bandages and shook his head. "It doesn't look like it."
"Good." My eyes felt heavy, but I forced them to stay open.
Heero's hand moved up over my chest and before I could stop him, he was tracing the mark right beside my heart. It was older than my other wounds- three years older- only a scar now really- a ragged edged concave in the middle of all the new bruises and cuts...
He'd done that right before he'd left... back when it was almost-healed...
I'm not good for the Preventers- or for you. I have to go....
I reached up and grabbed his hand with mine. "Don't. Don't even think about it."
He laughed without humor. "Duo, there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about it." His fingers tightened on mine. "You weren't supposed to get more...You were supposed to be safe..."
There it was- another opening to... I don't know. Yell at him? Hit him? Tell him that he had some damn nerve telling me what I couldn't do or be when he was the one that left?
But I was tired- and I just... I couldn't. Later maybe. But...
"Heero- don't- not now-"
"I'm sorry." He put his head down beside me on the pillow and pulled the blanket up over us both. "It's cold in here- I thought I'd turned the heater on but..."
"It doesn't work."
"Did you tell the owners?"
"No. Didn't see the need. Wasn't planning on staying very long." I admitted.
A soft sigh. "How long is your leave?"
"They didn't tell me. Said it would be based on how long it took me to heal."
"When did the mission end?"
I had to think about it- count the days in my head. I was still fuzzy-headed enough that it was hard to figure out. "Couple weeks? I was sort of... I don't remember retrieval or how long I was out after... Just woke up in the MedCenter..."
And the less said about that the better.
"And they let you out already?"
I shrugged. "I couldn't deal well with the hospital after... Quatre had me at his place for a few days, but it was close to HQ and..."
"And you kept sneaking off to work."
"Yeah," I admitted. "You know how that goes." He did. I remembered waking up lots of times to the soft glow of the laptop screen or a note telling me that Heero had gone back to the office.
"It is a good distraction." Heero moved a little and glanced at his watch. "Not quite midnight."
Shit. "Am I keeping you from something?" Or someone? Despite what he'd said earlier, I still wondered...
"No. It's just- my home isn't too far- and my heater works."
My heart sank and I bit back a curse. What else did I expect? "Then go home. I told you to before-"
"I want you to come with me. You'll be more comfortable there- like I said- my heater works, I have more med supplies and a bunch of those soothing teas Sally used to make me take for my nightmares."
"You always said they didn't work." I managed. He wanted me to go home with him? He wasn't going to vanish once this night was over?
"They don't- but it gives me something to focus on when I wake up from one."
"All right," I agreed and he swung himself off the bed.
"Stay there for a moment. I'll get your stuff."
It didn't take him long. I hadn't really unpacked. He gave me a sweater to pull on and brought my boots to me.
"We have to walk back to my car- is that okay?"
I agreed, and a few minutes later, we were walking down the dark streets. The night air was cool on my face, waking me all the way up and driving the last of the sleep demons from my vision. Heero walked silently beside me, carrying my bags. He had refused to let me help, saying that he didn't want me to pop anymore stitches.
It wasn't until we got to the car and Heero opened the trunk to store my bags, that I realized something.
"Why didn't you just go get the car and come back for me?" I asked him.
He met my eyes. "I knew if I left to get the car, you'd be wondering if I was going to come back at all."
Several responses rose to my lips, but what came out was: "True."
Reaching out, he pulled me close. "I'm not leaving again, Duo. Whatever happens- I'm not going to run away again."
I wondered if I could believe him.
TBC...
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