No Braid Part 2
The smell stung the back of my throat, made my eyes water. Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered. Not the feeling of the scalpels and fists, not the feeling of the knife against my throat. The only thing that mattered was getting free. I focused only on that, hoping my captors wouldn't see the improvised lock pick in my fingers, wouldn't hear the soft click of the cuffs.
Fingers sank into my hair, pulled my head back, and the knife scraped the side of my throat- but it didn't matter. Not now...
My fingers were slick with sweat and blood, and it took longer than it should have to unlock the cuffs- but I managed... and then...
I sat bolt upright, one hand reaching for my missing braid, trying to pull myself free of dead fingers.
"Duo?"
I jumped at the sound, nearly falling off the bed. Heero hit the light and grabbed at me, tugging me back onto the bed and into his arms.
For just a moment- I thought it had all been a bad dream. That Heero had never left, that I had never let him go...
Reality hurt.
"What are you doing here?" I demanded, trying to pull away.
"Are you okay? Need another pill?" His hand ghosted over my side. "Did it open up again?"
"I need to be left alone. I told you to go- I know I did."
"You also said that you've been looking for me."
I shoved at him, furious, and he let me go. "Well, I found you, for all the fucking good it did me. Go away. Go home. You have someone waiting for you- or have you forgotten already?"
Heero shook his head. "If you mean the woman you saw at the coffee house- that was my boss. There's no one waiting for me."
Boss? I sagged back against the headboard. "What? But-"
"My boss. Amy. Her husband is out of town and she had a craving, so I was helping her out. I should've told you last night- but you were bleeding and I was worried-"
"Oh." I wasn't sure what to say. "You still shouldn't have left her by herself."
"She knows the owners. I'm sure she's fine. She told me to go after you."
Heero leaned back beside me, his shoulder brushing mine. He didn't say anything, and I was sort of glad. My brain was confused enough between his revelation and the wisps of nightmares that hadn't quite dissipated.
I wanted to close my eyes and just sleep- but I knew sleep wouldn't bring forgetfulness, not now. Once I had a nightmare it wasn't a good idea to go right back to sleep- as I knew all too well.
"Are you in pain?"
"No more than usual," I said and then winced. Damn, wasn't thinking right yet.
Heero made a soft sound and his hand slid over my side again. "Did it open up? Do you need a pill?"
"No. No more pills." I covered my face with my hands and tried to focus. "I'm good. Just need to... center myself, you know?"
"I know," Heero sighed and the tone of his voice made me look up at him in surprise.
"Still?"
He lifted a shoulder. "Not as bad as it used to be."
"But not gone?"
Shaking his head, he slipped an arm around me again. "No."
I was too tired to fight- and his arm was a reassuring weight around my shoulders, grounding me to the here and now.
"Want to talk about it?"
"Hell no. It was... just a bad mission, that's all."
Heero sighed softly. "What a fuck-up."
"It was that too."
He chuckled without mirth and I looked up at him, confused. "I meant what I did," he clarified and put his head down on top of mine. "I was having nightmares- nearly getting you killed at work- arguing with you at home- and I leave thinking that it's going to get better for you-"
"I told you-"
"I know you did. I should've listened. But after that one mission..."
"It wasn't your fault."
"It was. So is this." His hand gently touched my side, slipped into my hair. "I shouldn't have left."
How long had I waited to hear those words? This wasn't the way I had wanted to hear them, not in the shape I was in with my nightmares still dancing before my inner eye. How many times had I imagined a response? Angry, thankful, indifferent, happy... I had thought of them all.
But now, now all I could do was lean against him. "No, you shouldn't have."
TBC...
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