More to Life Part 5
Don't fight me, I pleaded silently as I kissed Heero. Don't fight, don't fight... kiss me back.
He kissed me back.
His arms slid around my shoulders, his lips opened under mine.
Oh yes.
It had been torture earlier tonight. Stuck on the dance floor watching person after person approach the table, try to chat Heero up... swamped with relief when each one left, discouraged- angry when another one would wander up to try.
He was mine, damn it!
It wouldn't have been so bad, but earlier in the day I had finally realized what all of my protect/lust/nurture/guilt/desire feelings really were...
~*~
It was after I had talked to Heero about his- problem. That had frightened me. He had turned white and started to shake. He hadn't been specific when he talked about his memories of training, and a part of me was glad. I didn't really want to know. Call me a coward, but I had already seen effects of J's training on Heero in other things. I was sure he had been just as through in this area. I didn't need to know details to help Heero.
And I wanted to help him with this. I didn't want him to be so afraid to reach out anymore. I wanted him to be happy.
I went to curl up on the sofa, leaving Heero alone with his thoughts. He stayed at the computer for a bit, and then he began to move around the apartment, finding small tasks to do, playing with the cats, puttering...
Because he didn't have his programming work to do. Heero was going to stick with the Preventers- with me... even though I knew he hated it. That made me feel guilty, even as it made me happy. I wouldn't have to worry about not having Heero there to cover my back. I wouldn't lose my partner.
I couldn't figure it out though- why now? Why was he giving up his other job now? Had I done something? Had that fall on the mission addled his brain?
I watched Heero over the edge of my book. He looked okay... well, a lot better than okay... he always did.
I wanted Heero.
He needed someone. Someone to take care of him, to listen to him, to be there for him. I could do that for him.
He could do that for me.
I didn't want to use him just to help me... but couldn't we help each other? I was willing to do anything to help him- and gods knew I had messed everything else up. The work thing he had caught on to- he left his other job...
Couldn't I help him with this?
Or was my libido just trying to convince me that it needed to be used? It had been a while since I had done anything like that and Heero was so very tempting...
I sighed. Altruistic I was not. Wasn't it just this morning I had been telling myself not to use Heero to satisfy myself? Now here I was trying to come up with reasons why I needed to seduce him because he had scared me this morning as he shook in my arms. Was that any kind of reason?
But... I would be good to him. It wouldn't be just about me... I would help him get through his issues, I'd make sure nothing ever hurt him like that again, I'd love him...
I loved Heero.
I blinked, stunned. Where had that thought come from? I poked at the idea and pieces began to fall into place.
It was the truth.
I loved Heero.
My indecision vanished with that realization.
Now all I had to do was convince him that loving me would be a good idea. I already knew he was attracted to me. That kiss last night... and then this morning when I had been teasing him, right before he freaked out I had been so sure he was going to do it again. I had wanted him to do it again.
What to do?
First things first.
I guilted him into going to the club. I was hoping to get him out on the dance floor with me, but I was outflanked. Three against one- I didn't stand a chance.
I managed to retaliate, managed to stay next to him all the rest of the night.
Quatre caught on early. I saw the amused glances he gave me, the looks he shared with Trowa. He gave up on getting me out to the floor and instead gave me plenty of time alone with Heero.
Quatre can be a good friend.
Heero didn't notice any of the subtle hints I dropped. Didn't notice how I leaned into him, didn't seem to think anything of the way I let my hand linger on his arm, his fingers...
So after we came home, I went for a frontal attack.
~*~
Heero's mouth was doing it's magic, pulling me in, making me want to just melt in his arms.
But if I did that I wouldn't be able to hold onto him if he felt like running.
So instead I moved my mouth, letting it become acquainted with his chin, his neck, the edge of his shoulder. Heero tilted his head back, allowing me access.
I let my hands roam down his body, tugging his hips closer to mine, feeling my mouth curve into a smile. He wanted me.
I let the heat build up between us, making sure Heero was pinned firmly in my arms, but he showed no signs of trying to get away. Instead he reciprocated every caress, every kiss...
It was easy to pull him to the bed, yank clothes out of the way, spread him out beneath me, touch and taste him, listen to him moan and beg me for more...
Even easier to oblige him. To make him mine...
He climaxed quickly after that, taking me with him.
I lay gasping for breath, still feeling the shocks running over my skin, feeling Heero pant beneath me. Then he moved, faster than I knew he could, flipping me over on my back, pressing me down on the mattress. Oh! How could he still...?
His mouth moved over my skin, nipping and biting, making me gasp and moan. His fingers were rough, but exciting, making me ready for him, making me plead with him in between gasps for air.
I was more than ready when he took me, fingers digging into my hips, hard and fast, making me scream with pleasure...
Blackness was swirling in my vision, pleasure running in waves over my skin, Heero was still moving when I reached my climax again and passed out.
A loud crash brought me back to consciousness. I sat straight up.
I was alone in bed. Where was Heero?
The bathroom door was shut. The cats were in front of it meowing frantically.
I ran for the door, flinging it open. Heero stood in the middle of the bathroom, the towel rack in a twisted mess at his feet, a towel in one hand- his gun in the other.
Why did he have his gun?
"Heero?"
He looked up at me, face streaked with tears.
"I'm so sorry, Duo. So very sorry- I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't!" He raised his hand that held the gun and placed it next to his temple. "I'm sorry- I told you that I would hurt someone! Why did you let me hurt you?"
Hurt me? What the hell was he talking about?
Now was not the time to try and argue the point.
I stepped forward quickly, grabbing Heero around the waist, knowing that I wouldn't win if I went for the gun, pulling him into an embrace, placing my head next to his. I held on tightly, knowing he couldn't dislodge me without putting the gun down.
If he fired that gun now it would go through both of us.
"Heero, I don't know what the hell you are talking about. Tell me what's going on? Why do you think you hurt me?"
TBC...
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