Note: Wufei's POV
Erasure Part 7
I hadn't wanted to come here. It was cowardly of me, I know, but I had wanted to stay back on Earth. Not for the obvious reason. I knew I was going to have to confess to Duo, tell him about what I had said that day... I also knew though that he was going to be in pain. Heero's condition- the fact that he didn't remember Duo... all of that would hurt Duo, and I hated seeing him hurt.... But this hurt was my fault.
Quatre and Trowa had forwarded all the notes they'd found in J's labs- pictures of Heero when they'd found him... I had made myself look at them. Part of my penance - if he hadn't been at the door that day... if I hadn't pushed Duo on the kissing for cover...
I listened to the confused man in the bed try to get Sally to tell him something. I wanted to tell him what had happened- I ached for him- but I didn't dare. What if it set him off again? I could only imagine Duo's reaction to being the source of Heero's fear...
After Sally left, I stayed. I knew Heero wouldn't understand, but I still needed to apologize to him.
I had always thought that he didn't love Duo enough.
I had been wrong. He'd loved Duo too much. He'd known that he couldn't live without him and so had tried to erase his memories... or kill himself. Who knows what Heero had meant to do? I couldn't imagine him stepping into that machine without reading J's notes... but at the same time...
My apology only confused Heero more. I wanted to try and explain, but Quatre showed up before I could.
Quatre's expression when he said my name told me that Trowa had confessed- at least to his lover. Duo still looked confused. I writhed over the idea of telling him- but it was a punishment I deserved.
I walked out into the hallway and closed the door to Heero's room behind me. I didn't want him to hear this. Sally had vanished, and so I faced Quatre, Duo and Trowa by myself.
"You told Quatre?" I asked Trowa, who was leaning against the wall, arms crossed.
Trowa nodded and Quatre frowned more. "I already knew- but I didn't think you'd do something like this!"
"I didn't mean to do anything," I snapped. "I'd had a long and frustrating day and I talked to Trowa about it. I didn't know Heero was in the hall!"
Quatre raised his eyebrows. "You still should've asked to be taken off the assignment!"
"Excuse me," Duo said, his expression beginning to show irritation. "Can someone fill me in please?"
Before Quatre or Trowa could answer, I did. "Three weeks ago Heero and I went out on that missing kid case- do you remember? Where we had that standoff at the end?"
Duo nodded.
"Not to go into too many details- but do you remember how we ended the standoff?"
"Heero shot the guy."
"Right in front of the kid." I added. "The guy fell on top of the kid, he was bleeding everywhere and the kid was just... shaking."
Duo nodded. "And...?"
"I remonstrated with him. There had to have been other options we could've used to take the guy out but all he said was that sometimes kids need to see that kind of stuff. Need to see their nightmares die or something like that..."
Duo nodded again. He didn't look surprised.
I took a deep breath. "It made me angry. So I came back to the office and talked to Trowa- venting I should say, not talking. And... I said some things that I shouldn't have- and Heero overheard me."
Duo lifted an eyebrow.
"Wufei," Quatre spoke up. "I think you need to be specific about the 'some things'."
"Of course." I met Duo's gaze evenly. I knew what I would see in those eyes, but a warrior doesn't flinch from such things. "I said he was a cold hearted bastard. I didn't see how anyone with any kind of sensitivity at all would be able to stand him. I talked about our undercover missions and wondered how someone as warm as you could be with someone like him. He should've been the ones on those missions with you- I should've been backup. But he didn't care enough about you to go. That he didn't mind other people pawing his lover showed that he didn't care enough about you." I stopped. My voice had risen a little and I was fighting for control. Part of me wanted Duo to see that I was right... but the other half knew better....
"Is that all?" Duo asked. His expression hadn't changed.
I steeled myself. This was going to be the hardest part. I had promised myself that I would never tell Duo how I felt... but now.... I took a deep breath. "No. I said that you deserved... someone who could appreciate you. That I should try and take you from Heero so you wouldn't be stuck with someone like that."
Trowa snorted softly, drawing the attention of the other two, evidently deciding to save me a little. "Well, he phrased it a bit differently than that- and a moment later Heero appeared in the office with the paperwork from the raid."
"So he heard you?" Duo asked softly.
I nodded.
"So, when he walked in on us practicing- a practice you insisted on..." Duo's words were cut off by a faint noise in the room behind me. I was pushed to the side, and Duo flung the door open.
Right on the other side of the door, Heero was in a huddle on the floor, the blankets wrapped around him. Duo knelt down beside him.
"Heero?" He tried to put a hand on Heero's back, but Heero flinched away. He looked up at Duo with haunted eyes.
"Am I really like that?"
Crap! I had forgotten how good Heero's senses were. We should've moved away from the door...
"No," Duo reassured. "I know you better than anyone right? And you aren't like that. Not to me..." Heero let Duo put his arms around him, and Trowa reached out and pulled the door closed, giving them some privacy. I groaned. How much worse could this get?
I turned around to find Quatre looking at me with cold eyes. "I think you need to tell us exactly what you said..."
Trowa made a faint noise, grabbed the both of us by our elbows and yanked us away from the door.
Once we were down the hallway a bit, he let go.
"I said," I started before Quatre snapped at me again, "that it would no doubt be very easy to steal Duo from Heero. All I would need to do would be to show a little caring and concern."
"What?!" Quatre's expression darkened.
"I was angry!" I replied, exasperated. "I didn't really mean it! I knew I'd never get Duo... don't you think I accepted that? I was just angry and frustrated, and after seeing that kid covered with that guy's blood..." I bit down on my lip, and Quatre stared at me for a moment before his expression lightened and he sighed.
"What a mess..."
TBC...
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