Note: Heero's POV

Erasure Part 6

I hurt.

I looked down at my hands and arms wrapped in bandages, grimaced and felt the scratches on my face pull. I don't know what happened to me. Neither Quatre nor Duo will explain, and the tall one- Trowa? He hasn't spoken at all that I've heard, I almost wonder if he can.

I'm alone now. Quatre came in and explained to me that Duo had been up for hours, that he needed to sleep. I made him take Duo away so that he could shower and eat and rest. Duo promised to come back though.

That makes me happy, though I don't know why. It's odd. I know so many things- the colors of the sheets, what a doctor is, and yet... I can't remember my name. I can't remember anything about myself. I didn't recognize the smiling blond man who was there when I woke up; who explained to me that I'd had an accident.

I didn't recognize the man he brought in later. The one who Quatre said was my lover, who had been so worried for me...

Why hadn't Duo been there before? When I first woke up? Why Quatre and not him?

Duo had cried. When I saw him in the doorway, I felt like I wanted him to be closer, was happy when he took my hand and sat beside me. I hurt for him when I saw the tears in his eyes. I wanted to remember him, if only to make him happy...

And yet I didn't remember him...

I hoped he'd be back soon. I wanted to talk more with him. I wanted to find out about myself... I wanted to know what had happened to me.

I wanted to feel the tip of his braid in my fingers again. Wanted to reach out and hold him again. When he'd started crying, I had gotten to pull him down beside me and hold him close. I had brushed the tears off his cheeks...

His warmth beside me had been comforting, made me feel safe... and yet I didn't know him. He was a familiar stranger, and I hated myself for not remembering.

The door opened and I felt my heart skip a beat. Was it Duo again?

It wasn't and I felt a rush of disappointment. It was a blond woman and a black-haired Chinese man.

"Heero?" The woman smiled at me. "I'm Sally Po. I'm a friend of yours and a doctor."

"Hello," I said, pushing myself up a bit, interested. Maybe she would tell me what happened. "I'm sorry, I don't remember you."

She nodded. "It's okay." She moved to the foot of the bed and picked up my chart. "This is Chang Wufei, he is also a friend of yours."

The man met my eyes briefly and looked away.

Why did he look guilty?

Dr. Po sat beside me on the bed and started asking me questions. I answered them the best I could- some of them I didn't know at all, but my eyes kept wandering over to Chang Wufei. He was standing by the window, staring out, but I had a feeling he wasn't looking at the scenery.

Dr. Po eventually stopped the questions. "We should be going to check in to our hotel. It was a long trip to get here." She said with a smile. "We'll come back and see you tomorrow."

"That would be nice." Since she'd asked so many, maybe she wouldn't mind... "Can I ask you a question Dr. Po?"

"Of course Heero."

"What happened to me? Why did I lose my memory?" Chang Wufei stiffened and I heard a muffled curse. Dr. Po ignored him.

"You went through a very traumatic experience." She said. "Sometimes that affects the memory. Hopefully you will regain your memory soon."

That wasn't really the answer I had been looking for- it was what the other doctors had said. "But what traumatic experience?"

Dr. Po hesitated, biting her lip. I saw Chang Wufei lift an eyebrow at her. "You were part of an experiment of sorts," she said finally. "You did it voluntarily. But it wasn't supposed to do this to you." She got up quickly and headed for the door. I had a feeling she was leaving so that she didn't have to answer any more questions.

She opened the door and walked out. I expected Chang Wufei to follow her, but instead he came and stood by my bed.

"I need to apologize to you." He said in a quiet voice.

"What for?" I asked. I couldn't imagine this man doing something wrong...

"I... I tried to take something that was yours."

"Take something of mine?" Why would he do that? "Are we enemies?"

He shook his head. "No. But my actions led to you... agreeing to the experiment. So I have to apologize."

I blinked at him, trying to remember what he was talking about and feeling more confused than ever. I wanted him to explain.

"Wufei!" The name was spoken like a whip crack. Quatre stood in the doorway, frowning. "There you are. I want to talk to you." Wufei nodded and headed for the door, head bowed.

What was going on? I saw Duo appear over Quatre's shoulder, saw his eyes glance at me and then focus on Wufei.

"Heero?" Quatre gave me a faint smile. "We'll be right back in after we've talked to Wufei." The door closed.

My stomach started to hurt. Why had Duo been looking at Wufei like that? So focused? Why hadn't he even greeted me?

Was it for the same reasons that he hadn't been there when I woke up? Did he... not want to be with me?

It's not like I could blame him. I couldn't remember him- who'd want to deal with a lover that couldn't remember anything about you?

I curled up under the sheets and tried to remember. Tried to focus on Duo.

Duo! I had to remember something about him!

My stomach twisted again and I felt suddenly cold.

And very much afraid...

TBC...

 

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