Note: Quatre's POV
Erasure Part 5
Duo refused to go see Heero. When I had explained what the doctors had told me, Duo had simply sat back down on the couch and covered his face.
Trowa and I had looked at each other helplessly.
"Duo, do you want us to go with you?"
"I can't... I can't see him..." Duo shook his head, face still hidden. I could feel his guilt, and I hurt for him, but he had to go see Heero. And Heero needed to see him.
When I had gone in to see Heero, he had been... well, he hadn't been the Heero I knew, but he had been surprisingly accepting and alert. The doctors had explained his memory loss, and he'd been unhappy, but hopeful that it could be recovered. When I had explained that I was one of his friends he had asked me questions about himself, and when I had explained that he had a worried boyfriend waiting to see him, he had sent me out at once to go get him.
It was enough to make me wonder what that machine had really done. I knew better than anyone of how the doctors layered plans within plans within plans... Heero was almost like a blank slate, waiting to be filled. Was the machine supposed to cause that kind of memory loss?
I knew that it had made the pain worse instead of eased it, that nightmare I had- I shivered at the thought. And the agony that had poured off of Heero when he'd seen Duo...
But was the pain only the prelude? Or was it only to hide the true purpose of the machine? Had J known at sometime Heero would go back and use the machine? Heero was more than likely the only one still alive who had known what it had done... or had he thought that Oz would find his lab?
The whole scenario made me wish for Zero to help me sort out the possibilities.
I knelt down in front of Duo. "Please Duo, you have to go see him. He's waiting for you, I told him..."
"What did you tell him?" Duo demanded, looking up suddenly. His eyes were dry, but the look in them made my throat tight. "Did you tell him the person who put him in that bed was out here? The one who forced him into doing this to himself? The one..."
"I told him that he had a lover who wanted to see him." I interrupted. "Who was worried about him. Who had been waiting to see him..."
"You shouldn't have done that Quatre." Duo frowned at me. "He went through all that to forget me..."
"Because he was being stupid." I rose to my feet, feeling slightly frustrated. "Because he thought something was going on with you and Wufei!"
"Maybe not," Duo snapped back at me. "Maybe I did something, said something, I had to have... why else would he think I'd do that to him? It had to be my fault! Somehow he had to have thought that I didn't want him, or that I wanted Wufei! Otherwise why wouldn't he trust me? There had to be more than just what he saw!"
What could I say to that? I didn't know Heero's thoughts... I could only catch feelings, and then only if they were strong ones...
"There was," Trowa said, and both Duo and I blinked at him in surprise.
"What?" Duo asked, and Trowa shook his head.
"It's not my place to tell you. You need to talk to Wufei."
Duo's eyes widened. "Wufei? But... why?"
"Heero first." Trowa got to his feet, pulling Duo along with him. "You need to see him first."
"I... don't know if I can..."
"You need to," I opened the doors, letting Trowa guide Duo through them.
I really hoped I was right on this one. If Heero started screaming again, this wasn't going to be good.
Though it would mean that there was at least something in there that remembered...
Duo let us take him to Heero's room. I opened the door and smiled at the man propped up in the bed. "See? I told you I'd be back quickly. This is Duo."
Heero looked faintly apprehensive, but he managed a smile. Trowa poked Duo's back, urging him forward.
"Hi," Duo said cautiously. "I don't suppose you remember me?"
A moment of silence... I held my breath, hoping... for what I didn't know...
Heero shook his head. "I'm afraid not." He held out his hand. "Quatre said you knew me the best." Duo drew closer to the bed, and cautiously put his hand in Heero's.
"I... I thought I did."
"That's good." Heero smiled, and pulled Duo closer. "Then you'll help me remember?"
Duo bit his lip. "If you want me to..." Heero pulled him closer still and Duo sat down cautiously on the edge of the bed.
Heero let go of Duo's hand and reached out for the tip of Duo's braid. "Has your hair always been this long? Since... since I've known you?"
"Yes."
"I like it. Did I like it before?"
"Not at first, but yes." Duo's voice was very soft. I realized he was close to breaking down all together. I moved forward, intent on pulling him out of the room, sure that I had made a mistake in bringing him in.
Trowa's hand on my shoulder stopped me.
Heero reached his free hand up towards Duo's cheek. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I wish I could remember you." I saw his fingers brush away a tear. "I don't see how I could forget you..."
Trowa's hand tightened and we silently left the room.
"That was promising," Trowa smiled faintly. "He must remember something. He took to Duo right away..."
"But what happens when he remembers the machine?"
Trowa sighed. "I have no idea. Maybe Sally will have some ideas. Maybe we'll find some more clues in J's notes. Wufei and Sally will be here soon. I'm sure all of us will be able to find a solution."
That reminded me. "Trowa- what did you mean earlier when you said Duo had to talk to Fei?"
"I'm surprised you didn't catch it sooner, my heart..."
TBC...
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