Cyberficcy Part 4
I'm getting really tired of looking at the ceiling in the docs' lab. How much time have I spent staring up at it in the last few months? I can hear them clucking over me, but at this point, I've answered their questions ten times over already.
"You should've been more careful!"
"The intel said the self-defense systems of the satellite were non-functioning," I point out for the tenth time. "At least the missiles didn't hit the suit- or me."
"No, only showered you with shrapnel..." J grumbles.
"So?" G snorts. "Now we have an excuse to use the new skin I developed..."
"It hasn't been tested!"
"Half the stuff we've used on him hasn't been tested!"
How reassuring.
If I could I would sigh in exasperation. At least the shrapnel only tore up the silicone- the damage to my frame was minimal. I look awful- the reaction of the Preventers that met me at the gate hadn't been fun to watch, but there's no pain and hopefully will be easy to fix.
Once the docs decide how of course...
There's a loud slam as the lab door smacks against the wall and I wonder if Une has come down to chew us out- though she should be happy. I did complete the mission after all...
"Heero!"
Duo? What is he doing here?
"What the hell happened?" I hear Duo demand, as his footsteps get closer to the table. For a moment I want to yank the sheet higher, hide my exposed metal frame from him, but...
Maybe this is better. Maybe the reality will convince him that I'm right... I force myself to stay still.
"He got caught with some shrapnel," I hear G say. "Not too bad really."
I hear Duo's gasp as he gets close; I watch the color fade from his face as he gets a good look at me. I want to reach out and steady him, but my arm on that side took a lot of the shrapnel- I can't reach him.
Besides- he may not want me to touch him right now.
"Is he...?"
"He's fine. We just have a few repairs," G's hand touches Duo's shoulder, and Duo's gaze moves up to my face. His eyes widen as they meet mine.
"Heero? You okay?"
"Just fine." I assure him. "Minimal surface damage."
He looks like he wants to argue about the minimal part. "It doesn't hurt?"
"No." Has he realized yet how unhuman I am now? "I can turn off the sensors."
"You fried the sensors," G rolls his eyes and turns to J. "All the more reason to go with my idea!"
"Fine fine, show me the data again." They move off a little ways and Duo bends over me, his hand reaching up to cup my cheek. How can he touch me? There's no disgust in his face- only concern.
"It really doesn't hurt?" He asks again.
"Not even a little." He looks exhausted, dark circles under his eyes, hair flying everywhere. Wait a minute... "Duo- how did you know to come down?"
"G called me." He tucks a strand of hair behind his ear and gives me a faint smile. "All he said is that you had a few problems with the mission. Want to tell me about it?"
He's calmer now, his gaze meets mine without a flinch and I wonder at it. I know what I look like right now- nowhere near human- not with most of my frame exposed.
But Duo doesn't seem to care...
"That's putting it mildly," I tell him and fill him in on the details. He sits beside me listening intently as I tell him about the mission.
"You look exhausted," I say when I finish. "I'm really okay Duo. You should go back home and get some rest-" though the thought of him driving isn't a pleasant one. "Or you could crash on the docs' sofa?"
He looks at his watch. "I go on shift in two hours. I'll go home and clean up." I see him bite his lip and cast a look over his shoulder at the docs- still deep in discussion in the corner. "They won't send you out today again- so you can meet me after the shift, right?"
I can- but should I? He frowns at my silence. "You promised me Heero. Meet me- or I'll just stay here for the day."
"I know I did," I say hastily. "Where should I meet you?"
"Home," he says as he digs the keys out of his pocket and slides the spare one off. "Meet me at home as soon as they're done with you."
I want to protest- but it is the best place for a conversation- no work interruptions- no docs. "All right."
He puts the key on my pillow and bends down to brush a kiss over my ruined lips. I can't feel it. "See you there."
~*~
The docs finally decide to go with G's experimental skin. Stripping me of the silicone is an involved process due to the sensors embedded in it. G assures me that the skin he's developed is much more sensitive and I try to ignore J's snort of disbelief. When G explains the process to me I am skeptical, but then if he'd told me a year ago he could build a cyborg I might not have believed him.
I enter the tank, moving as he instructed, allowing the skin to bond itself over my frame evenly and when I step out even I have to agree that it at least looks superior to the silicone.
"Perfect!" G exclaims and then I have to be patient as they run through tests to make sure I can 'feel' like I should. Everything seems to be working smoothly. The last test, however, is a new one...
"Close your eyes," G instructs and I do. "Run this sequence." He rattles off a series of numbers quickly and I do as he asks.
I hear J gasp in surprise.
What did they do? I open my eyes and look at myself.
I don't notice anything, but J is smiling. "That's more effective than I thought!"
What the hell are they talking about?
"Stealth technology," G crows. "Can you see yourself Heero?"
"Of course I can."
G points towards the end of the lab where a mirror hangs against the wall. In the reflection I can see J and G... but my reflection is missing.
So that's what he meant by stealth technology. It's a little disconcerting though and it's with relief that I run the program that makes me 'visible again'.
With this new developments it takes hours for me to finally escape the lab and head for the apartment.
Part of me is looking forward to this- more than I should be, but I can't help it. I miss Duo so much when he's not with me...
He's not there when I arrive. I know Duo wants me to move back in, take up my old life again. I wish it was possible.... But I'm so different now...
I turn the key in the lock and step inside.
My sneakers are in the hallway. Right where I always kicked them off after my morning run... How many months has it been since I have worn them?
And Duo hasn't moved them.
I close the door behind me, dropping my keys onto the table automatically, resisting the sudden urge to call out that I am home... I always did before...
The pictures are all still up in the hallway, my jacket hangs on the rack beside the door.
I walk down the hallway and into the kitchen. My favorite mug is still in the drying rack beside the sink. In the den, my computer still sits in the corner, covered in the post-it notes I use to keep track of things.
The bedroom is the only place where things are different. The bed is neatly made and sports a different quilt than the one we'd had. It should reassure me that Duo did change something, but it doesn't... why is this different? What has happened to the other one?
Somehow, I don't think Duo had just felt like a change.
My clothes still hang neatly in the closet; my half of the bureau still holds my change dish and cufflinks.
Duo's side is scattered with items, like always. Loose change, keys, ticket stubs- and a medical bracelet- the kind hospitals put around your wrist when they admit you.
I pick it up carefully; note the date- and the dark discoloration around one edge.
Oh Duo... what did you do?
"I couldn't change anything."
Startled, I whirl around, the bracelet dropping from my fingers. Duo stands in the doorway- how did he manage to sneak up on me?
"Duo... you..." I search for something to say.
You didn't change anything. What did you do to yourself? What did my death do to you?
"No," he shakes his head, moves closer to me. "I couldn't change anything. It was bad enough at work when they moved your desk out. At least here I could pretend you were just in the next room..." He slides his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. "Do you see now how much I need you?"
I can't answer at first. I can only return his embrace, wondering what I would've done if after the docs revived me, I discovered Duo had... if he wasn't...
"Heero?" He sounds a little breathless and I realize I'm holding him too tightly. I relax my grip and he moves back a little to meet my eyes.
"It can't be like it was," I tell him, my only defense.
"It can be better." He answers quickly. "Can't we at least try?"
I can't tell him no. I can't. I should, I know that, but I can't. Not now. Not after seeing all this...
"Things won't be the same. It won't be easy."
"Was it ever?"
That makes me smile. "No, but it was worth it."
He leans up to kiss me gently, knowing he's won for this moment. "It will be this time too. You'll see."
I can only hope he's right.
~*~
Heero's lips were warm under mine, warmer than he'd been when I kissed him earlier. "What did the docs do?" I ask, pulling back a little and running my fingertips over them. "They felt real earlier, but cold. Now you're warm."
He smiles faintly. "Some new skin technology. They like experimenting on me- who knows what's next?"
If he's trying to warn me, it's not going to work.
"I like this innovation," I purr and reach up to kiss him again. It's a welcome home kiss. The kind I used to give him in the evenings when we got home, the kind that promised more to come.
"Duo-" he says when I let him. "This is one of the things we need to talk about. We can't..."
I know what he's talking about, but I wait for him to get up the nerve to say it.
"Can't what?" I ask when it seems like he's run out of words.
"Can't..." and I realize that if he could be, he'd be blushing. "At least not like we used to..."
"Ah, so at least you realize that we can do something?"
He frowns at me. "Yes- but... maybe you..." His mouth closes and I'm glad.
"If you were about to suggest what I think you were going to, forget it." I frown at him. "I'd never do that."
"But..." He stops again and I decide that enough is enough.
I tug on his hand, pulling him to the bed with me. I can't push him down, not anymore, so I point to the edge. "Sit."
He does, very gingerly, and for a moment I'm reminded of the first time I took him to bed. He'd been so worried about hurting me, so worried about messing up that it had taken him a while to relax. So, we had to go through this again, that's all.
I sit down on his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist. "Relax." He puts his arms around me and holds me close.
"Duo- I know what you are going to say."
"You do?"
He smiles. "You're going to tell me that sex is mostly mental, right?"
I laugh. "Well, it had crossed my mind. But mostly I was going to talk to you about Dr. G."
His eyebrows hit his hairline. "Dr. G? What about Dr. G?"
"Well... Dr. G and I were talking the other day after you left for your mission." I kiss his nose and unwind my legs from him. "Lay down."
He does as I ask and I make myself comfortable on his thighs, leaning down so that I can look into his eyes.
"You and Dr. G were talking..." he prompts.
"You know, Dr. G expected you to wake up and want to see me right away." I frown at him. I am still not happy about that one.
Heero reaches up and brushes a strand of hair off my face. "I'm sorry. I..."
"Thought it was for the best. I know. It wasn't." I take a deep breath. "That's not the point though. Dr. J wanted to bring you back, develop a super soldier, yadda yadda. G remembered that there was a human mind in this..." I thump his chest lightly. "So, he did some research."
"Duo- where are you going with this?"
"Do you know how much money goes into the sex industry?"
Heero shakes his head. "It's not on the top of my list of things to look into."
"Ah, then you don't know of all the lovely technologies available. G does- and so he made a few adjustments to you that aren't on the schematics. Since you were supposed to look as real as possible in case of capture it wasn't difficult. Nothing he had to explain to Une. He said that he thinks J suspects something, but since J never confronted him on it..." I shrug. "He figured he'd tell you once you talked to me- but you decided not to, so he never said anything..."
I rise up a little, slide my hand down his front, linger on his belt. "Run sequence D0102H."
His eyes flutter for a moment and then they open- wide with surprise. I shift a little to make myself more comfortable.
"See?" I smile for him as I work on his belt. "We have to be a little careful, but you'll be surprised what we can do..."
I'm panting and drenched with sweat when it's over... Heero of course doesn't look like he's even exerted himself.
But he's smiling, his fingers stroking over my hair, encouraging me to relax against him. I guess I don't have to worry about crushing him anymore.
I smile back at him. "So, admit I was right?"
He laughs. "You were right. But..."
"No, no buts." I frown at him. "We did good once we got going."
"I nearly crushed you."
"So we forgot about the weight thing."
He touches the bruises on my hips guiltily. "And the strength thing."
"We'll know better next time." He opens his mouth. "No- there will be a next time. Don't even."
"I was going to say that next time we could at least start off right."
Thank god. I was worried that he'd find some other excuse to leave right when I got him to stay, right when I proved to him that he could be everything that he was to me before...
I close my eyes and feel him pull the covers up around us. His hands rest on my shoulders, holding me close.
I missed this so much...
"Duo?" He says quietly and that small flare of panic rises up in my stomach.
"Yes?" I ask and wait.
"I need... I need you to tell me what happened. After." I open my eyes to find his fingers worrying at the quilt.
He noticed it was different... of course he did. Everything else was the same. He'd notice this...
"Not now... you don't have to do it now, but... will you tell me?"
I look up and meet his eyes. "Are you sure you want to hear?"
He nods. "I do." His hand touches my cheek gently. "I need to hear."
I take a deep breath. "Then I'll tell you..."
TBC...
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