Te Amo Part 14
The white bearded man approached the door with trepidation. He knew sooner or later he would have to face the inevitable but that didn't make him feel better at all. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door twice and then turned the handle, pushing the door open. Body shaking in nervousness, he entered the room and closed the door behind him. His eyes took in the sight of the Japanese boy who was sitting on the bed, one hand over his stomach and the other one tracing the opened photo album. The boy looked up at his entry and the Prussian blue eyes widened in anger and also fear.
"You!" A voice he hadn't heard in fifteen years shot at him. A voice that once pleaded with him not to take the only thing that the boy had, now became a low hiss, full of anger and slight fear. "What are you doing here!?"
The bearded man swallowed and approached the furious boy. "Duo Maxwell asked me to come to check your wounds."
"Get out." The Japanese boy hissed and tried to inch away as far as he could with his half healed wounds protesting his every movement.
Dr. Philip took one step forward, "You'll open your wounds if you keep moving."
"Go. Away." The Japanese boy glared at him from where he huddled at the edge of the bed like a cornered animal.
The man gulped at the glare. "I just..." He was forced to stop as a photo album flew toward him. Quickly raising his hand in reflex, the man felt the album hit his hand and its contents flew out of the album from the impact. Dr. Philip looked down at the scattered photos and swallowed as most of the photos showed a long haired man playing with his son; the son who had the same face as the Japanese boy.....
"I said Go Away." The hiss made the man look up at the angry and scared boy.
Dr. Philip gathered his courage and stepped forward. "Heero, I ..."
"Don't use my name!" The Japanese boy shouted angrily. "Stop there, don't come nearer!"
"But I..." Not noticing that he had stepped inside the boy's range, Dr. Philip was forced to stop as a fist connected with his cheek. He staggered backward from the impact and was silently thankful that the boy was still weak or he would have had a broken cheek.
"Heero! What are you doing to Dr. Philip!!?" A voice came from the door.
Dr. Philip looked up in surprise to see Solo approaching him with worried look. The man glanced at the Japanese boy and saw he had paled and shook slightly.
"Are you okay, Doc?" Solo stopped in front of the man. "I'm sorry, I was suppose to watch him. If I knew you were coming, I wouldn't have gone to take a walk."
"I'm okay, but he isn't." Dr. Philip straightened and looked in the direction of the bed where the Japanese boy was visibly shaking.
"Heero!" Solo approached the bed and took the Japanese boy's hand into his. "It's okay. I know you don't like the others touching you, Dad told me that. Dr. Philip is our family doctor; he isn't a bad person." The said doctor couldn't help but flinch at the irony. He noticed the Japanese boy's face became paler as Solo continued talking. "Doc was the one who helped you when we found you frozen. He had come to check you twice but you were asleep at that time. So don't be afraid this time, Doc only wants to examine your injuries so he can decide your further treatment and medication."
"No." The Japanese boy tightened his grasp on Solo's hand and turned to the doctor. "Go away."
"I will, after I check your wounds." With Solo there, the doctor felt more secure and decided to do his job in the safest way. "Solo, hold both his hands." He quickly took out a syringe full of transparent liquid and before the Japanese boy could react, he injected the liquid into the boy's thigh.
"No!" The Japanese boy jerked up, but Solo held him back. With one hand pressing on the Japanese boy's thigh, preventing his movement, the doctor could extract the syringe without problem. "NO!"
"It's just a drug to make you sleep." The doctor tried to calm the Japanese boy. The drug kicked in a few seconds later as Heero stopped struggling. "Solo, help me lie him back on the bed, will you?"
Heero could only whimper and blink his eyes sleepily as Solo and the doctor lowered him onto the bed. And right before the Japanese boy's eyes closed and brought him to deep slumber, the doctor could hear the sobbed whisper. "Don't take him from me....."
"What?" Solo looked down at Heero in confusion while the doctor tensed at the words for a few seconds before he ignored Solo's exclamation and proceeded to examine the sleeping boy thoroughly.
When Duo came home two hours later, the doctor had gone and Solo was sitting next to bed, watching Heero worriedly. "Why are you looking at him like that, Solo?" Duo approached his son.
Solo turned his head toward his father. "Dr. Philip came here two hours ago, Dad."
"Yes, I ask him to examine Heero. How is Heero?"
"Doc said that Heero has improved greatly. His bandages can be removed tonight but he still has to remain in bed three more days before he starts practicing to walk. Doc said to be careful with his stomach, though. It's very delicate and too much pressure will bring great pain for him."
"Well, that's quite good news to hear, why do you look so worried?"
"Heero punched Dr. Philip before that."
"What?" Duo looked at his son in surprise. He pulled a chair near his son's and sat down. "Tell me the whole story."
It took Solo only a few minutes to relay the story. By the time he finished it, Duo was frowning. He would have to talk to Heero about this. After all, Heero spoke about 'him' again. Who was this 'he' who Heero didn't want to be taken from him?
"Why he doesn't like someone touching him, Dad?" Solo asked his father.
Duo sighed and leant against his seat. "We were soldiers back then, Solo. It's not wise to let other people you don't know touch you. Especially Heero, he grew up as a soldier. I never thought he really disliked having another person near him, though."
"But he seems fine when we touch and talk to him."
"Well, I know I'm an exception and apparently you too." Duo shrugged, not knowing a better way to explain Heero's behavior. He stared at Heero, frowning as he tried to understand Heero's actions while Solo just sat next to him silently, sporting the same frown as his father's.
Duo looked up from the book he was reading and saw Heero open his eyes slowly. "Ah, you have awakened." The older man put his book on the nightstand and stood up. "How are you feeling?"
Duo watched as the Prussian blue eyes became focused and then widened in panic. "The doctor!" Heero sat up quickly, wincing slightly at his wounds while his eyes looked around the room wildly. "Solo, where is he?"
"Calm down." Duo sat on the edge of the bed and put one hand on Heero's shoulder, noticing the Japanese boy shaking slightly. "The doctor has gone home and Solo went out to meet the other M-five."
"Solo is okay?" Heero relaxed a bit.
Duo frowned slightly. "Of course, he is. But I can't say the same about you. Why did you punch the doctor, Heero?" The older man could feel Heero tensing at his question. He waited for several minutes but Heero just kept silent, obviously not wanting to answer the question. Duo reached forward and seized Heero's chin, lifting the boy's face up to him. "Answer me, Heero. I need to know your reason this time."
"Heero." Duo admonished the Japanese boy. "Answer me."
Heero shook his head slightly, restrained by Duo's hand on his chin. "I can't."
"I need to know, Heero. I can't let the others meet you without worrying about your reaction."
The Japanese boy bowed his head. "I...... " Duo was slightly surprised when Heero sounded so desperate. "I won't ... react like that... again.... "
Heero shook his head. "... don't ask me anymore.......please?"
Heero was really upset. Duo could tell it from how tense Heero was and how Heero's voice seemed strangled. Not to mention, Heero had pleaded with him. Again. Heero's reaction must have something to do with his injuries, Duo was sure of it. But he couldn't press Heero further for it because it was obvious that Heero wouldn't answer him. Duo sighed and relented. He released Heero's chin and gathered the Japanese boy in his arms. "All right, I won't ask you about it now. But someday you will have to tell me about this."
"..arigato...." Heero whispered and leaned against Duo's chest. Duo rested his chin on Heero's head and noticed how small Heero was compared to him now. He had grown up into a man in fifteen years while Heero didn't grow at all. He was fifteen years older than Heero now, but in body only. Heero's mind wasn't a mind of a seventeen year old. Heero had been an adult since they met. The Japanese boy was forced to grow up and trained to use weapons since he was a toddler.
"What did...the doctor say about my health?" Heero's voice broke Duo from his musing.
"You're fine. The bandages can be removed now and rest for three days more before practicing to walk." Duo answered.
"Practice to walk?" Heero said faintly. "Am I crippled, Duo?"
"No, you will be able to walk like you used to." Duo hugged the Japanese boy tightly. "You just need to practice walking again. You've been frozen for fifteen years, remember? Added with the injuries you have, Dr. Philip predicted that your leg muscles are weak and need to be retrained to walk." Duo nuzzled Heero's hair and tried to stir Heero from thinking about his wounds. "You have to get well soon, Heero. I have surprises for you."
"Yes, once you are fully recovered and practice walking, I'll show you the surprises."
"Why not now?"
"I have my reasons." Duo kissed Heero's cheek. "Just focus on getting better now."
Three days passed by and Duo decided it was time for Heero to start practicing. He thought it would be an easy exercise but it turned out that Heero needed four days just to be able to walk out of his room without falling or leaning against the wall for support. The Japanese boy's legs were weak enough after being frozen for fifteen years. Added with the healing wounds on both thighs and stomach and the boy's still quite weak condition, Heero was doing a remarkable job in his exercise for being able to walk for two minutes straight without falling. Still, it boiled Duo's blood to see Heero struggling to walk. He vowed again and again to find the ones who injured his Heero and make them suffer ten times worse.
After seven days of this, Heero finally managed to walk down the stairs from the second floor where his room was to the first floor. However, Duo had to catch the Japanese boy from falling on the last step and carried him to the couch at the living room. Heero was panting and sweating profusely as he lowered the Japanese boy down on the soft couch. "I told you not to force yourself too much." Duo scolded the boy and wiped the sweat on Heero's face with his handkerchief while the boy's eyes glanced around, looking at the surrounding for the first time.
"How many people do you have for housekeeping?" Heero asked, eyes still roaming over the room.
Duo blinked at the question. "One butler, two maids, one cook, and one gardener, why?"
"Just wanted to know..." Heero trailed off as his eyes fell on a photograph on the wall. Those Prussian blue orbs dimmed as Heero quickly looked away.
However, Duo didn't miss the quick gesture. He followed Heero's previous gaze and saw his wedding picture on the wall. He and Hilde were kissing happily in there. Shit! Duo swore inwardly as he cupped Heero's cheek and lifted the Japanese boy's face to him. "That's the past, Heero. It's just an old picture that I never bothered to take down. She means nothing to me anymore."
"Why? You were happy..." Heero averted his eyes from Duo's intense look. The seventeen year old Duo maybe would be oblivious to the little gesture but the wiser and the older Duo, the thirty one year old man, noticed and understood the feelings behind the little gesture. Duo closed his eyes for a moment and when they opened again, they were full of determination. The older man gathered Heero into his arms and stood up, carrying the startled boy up to the second floor.
"Duo, put me down, I can walk by myself." Heero stated, but the older man ignored him and kept walking, passing the room Heero occupied. "Duo?" The Japanese boy frowned in confusion. "Where are you taking me?"
"To where you are supposed to be," Duo answered calmly as he entered a certain room.
Looking around the room, Heero widened his eyes in realization. "Duo, this..."
"This is my bedroom." Duo lowered Heero onto the queen sized bed and sat down on the empty spot next to the Japanese boy. "Hilde never enters this room. Only Solo is allowed to enter this room, save the occupants."
"Occupants?" Heero repeated faintly. "You.... sleep with ...someone else?..."
Duo didn't miss the bitter tone in Heero's voice. It was very ironic that he now could easily detect Heero's real feelings by his voice or eyes. He just wished he had this ability fifteen years ago. If he did, he would have never left Heero for Hilde. But then... Solo wouldn't have been born..... Duo shook his head to clear his mind. There was no sense in dwelling on the past; it couldn't be changed. But he could try make up for the future. He cupped Heero's cheek with one hand and stared down straight at Heero's blue eyes. "There are only two occupants. They are me and you."
Duo watched Heero's eyes widening in surprise. He caressed Heero's cheek as his calm expression crumbled, showing the longing he had kept hidden for fifteen years. "This is where you are supposed to be, with me, at my side, as my life mate. I've been waiting for you to come back to my life. Fifteen years is very long time, Heero." Duo's voice began to shake as he gathered Heero's face in both hands, holding it as if a priceless thing, which was true. "Gomen ne. Hontou ni gomen. I took you for granted and realized it too late. I am a fool, a bastard. I missed you so much. Fifteen years.... I searched for you for fifteen years, telling myself over and over that you were still alive somewhere, that you would show up someday and I'd be able to make it up to you. Every time Solo smiles or laughs, I vow to make you laugh as happy as him....."
"Let me finish ..." Duo took a breath and pulled Heero into his arms, hugging the boy tightly as he buried his nose into the messy chocolate hair and whispered near the Japanese boy's ear. "After you were gone, I felt so lost in our house... Almost every thing I saw reminded me of you, the way you took care of me, the way you tended the garden, and so many other things. I began to realize how much you have done for me and how blind I was. I chose Hilde for the love and warmth she promised, never realizing you had been giving them to me all along."
Duo felt Heero tensing and pulled his head away slightly, looking down to meet a pair of vulnerable blue eyes. "I know I'm a baka. I know I'm so selfish, but I'm trying to fix that. I have had fifteen years to learn from my mistakes. Fifteen years, Heero..... I have been celibate and regretting my mistakes almost every day for fifteen years. Don't you think my punishment for abandoning you is enough? All I want now is for us to be together, to make you happy. I don't want you to think that I still have feelings for Hilde or the other women and become sad because of that. You have nothing to worry because the one I love is you, Heero."
The Prussian blue eyes widened in surprise. "Lo..... love...?"
"Yes, I love you. Do you think I only want you for sex?" Duo meant it as sarcasm, but he saw Heero averting his eyes at his words and realized that was what Heero thought all along. The older man's face darkened. "You know what, Heero..." Without warning, he roughly pushed the Japanese boy down onto the bed and pinned him with his body. His hands shot up and held the Japanese boy's hands on each side of his head. His face was hovering a mere inch from Heero's.
"Duo, what... hmmph" Duo muffled Heero's kiss with his lips and shoved his tongue into the Japanese boy's mouth quickly. He lapped Heero's palate roughly and ground his lower body against the Japanese boy, causing Heero to gasp into his mouth. After ravishing Heero's mouth for a minute, Duo pulled away. "If I want you for sex, I wouldn't wait for you to recover. I would have fucked you the first day you opened your eyes." Heero flinched at Duo's rough words.
"....But I don't want you like that..." Duo took a breath and forced himself to calm down. He released Heero's hands and bent down, kissing Heero gently on the lips. "I want you because I love you." Duo murmured the words softly and then pulled away, plopping down next to Heero. "I'll hug you, kiss you, and caress you, but I won't take you if you think of me like that." Duo said the words while looking up on the ceiling. His face saddened at the thought that he had treated Heero so bad that Heero thought he was only an object for him. He put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. "I treated you very bad in the past, didn't I?...... This time, I won't do that. I'll wait till you ask me to make love to you. I've waited for fifteen years. I can wait a little longer....."
For a full minute, Heero was silent. Duo didn't talk. He kept his eyes closed and cursed himself inwardly for treating Heero so bad in the past. He was startled when a weight settled on him. He opened his eyes and saw Heero's face a few inches from his. The Japanese boy's face was devoid of emotion, but Duo could see uncertainty and disbelief, mixed with hope and happiness in his Prussian blue eyes.
"Love... me?" Heero asked faintly.
Duo smiled and put his arms around Heero, pulling the Japanese boy down to rest his weight completely on him. "Yes, I love you, Heero. Always love you. I just didn't realize it until you were gone...." He kissed Heero's lips gently and was delighted when Heero kissed back. They parted slowly and Duo looked straight at Heero. "I know you love me and I know you enough that you probably won't ever say the words. But just this once, I want to hear them."
"I..." Heero looked uncomfortable.
"Onegai? Only once and I won't ask for them anymore." Duo murmured as he caressed Heero's cheek.
It was quite a long time before Heero swallowed and nodded slightly.
"Thank you, Heero." Duo smiled and pulled the Japanese boy down to meet his lips. When they broke away, the older man murmured encouragingly. "Say it..."
"I..." Heero hesitated and swallowed once. "I lo...."
Right at that time, the door was banged opened and Solo stormed in, making Heero and Duo jerk apart in surprise. "Dad, Heero is go...." The boy stopped when he saw the scene before him.
Heero quickly rolled away and Duo sat up, looking at his son worriedly. "Solo, look...."
At that time, Solo's face had gone from white to red. He glared at his father angrily. "What the hell does this mean? What is Heero doing in your bed? And in that position?!"
"Solo, calm down." Duo stood up, noting how similar his son's glare to Heero's when the Japanese boy was about to kill someone. "Look, I have been meaning to tell you about us..."
"Us, huh?." Solo hissed and glared at Heero angrily. "Damn you!"
"SOLO!" Duo barked in surprise at Solo's words while behind him, Heero flinched.
Still glaring at the Japanese boy, Solo continued mournfully. "I knew it.... I thought it was just my overactive imagination, the way Dad looks at you and the way he holds your hands... I ignored my suspicions when you woke up though. You treated me so kind and seemed to care so much for me. You even consoled me about mother. You said nice things, good things about her while the truth was... " Solo swallowed angrily as one tear rolled on his cheek. "It's you who made my parents separate! Yes, it must be you! No wonder mother hates me. It's because I look like you, the slut who stole her husband!"
Solo wobbled and held his red cheek, looking at his father in disbelief. "You...hit me?"
"That's enough, Solo. Never ever call Heero that again." Duo said warningly while inwardly, he felt bad for hitting his son.
"You never hit me before." Solo trembled in anger. "You hit your son just because of this slut?!"
"Solo, you..." Duo growled and raised his hand, ready to strike. He loved his son dearly and now he was disappointed to hear his son say throw such dirty words at Heero. Anger reached his violet eyes and Solo flinched at his look.
"Duo.. don't..." Heero's voice came from behind him. It was surprisingly calm...too calm. Duo knew Heero was masking his true feelings. Solo's words must have hurt the Japanese boy deeply. Nevertheless, Heero's voice calmed Duo a bit and he lowered his hand.
Seeing it, Solo straightened and glared at Heero again, tears rolling freely on both of his cheeks. "I don't need your help! You've crushed my hope of someday seeing my mother and father together again. I hate you! You even steal my father from me, not caring about my feelings! I hate you, you fucking slut!" Before Duo managed to react, Solo had already run out of the room.
"SOLO!" Duo bellowed and ran after his son.
"Duo, don't hurt him." Heero's worried voice sadly didn't reach the older man's ears. He was already out of the room when the Japanese boy struggled to stand up, wanting to chase both father and son. However, Heero was still weak and he stumbled down before reaching the door. The impact with the floor caused his wounded stomach to throb painfully, making him curl up and hold his stomach. After waiting for a few seconds for the pain to subside, Heero tried to move again, but he soon hissed in pain and held his stomach again.
The Japanese boy could only lie there on the floor and look at the opened door mournfully. A tear rolled down on his cheek as Solo's words of hatred echoed in his head.
"Don't hate me................." The whisper sounded so hollow in the room, no one heard the pain carried in the whisper and no one saw how the Japanese boy curled up and put his hands on his stomach as if it was holding something precious in there, the thing that had been taken from him forcefully fifteen years ago.
The thing he loved dearly, but hated him in return.
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