Secrets and Lies Part 7
The Door swung open so easily it was as if they had been waiting for his return. They hadn't.
"Damn Hilde! You're early I thought that you were coming at... Heero?" Duo's amused voice had drifted into a shocked whisper.
Heero wanted to throw up, and was thankful he hadn't eaten breakfast. So Duo was still seeing her. He knew Quatre had been wrong. It was stupid of him to have believed that compassionate boy's pity for the truth. The only thing that kept him from running away was the memory of his son's pleading. Gritting his teeth he forced his face to remain coldly impassive. In the short year since he had last seen him Duo had grown. They were no longer the same height now Duo was at least a good five inches taller. His body was still lean but he hadn't retained the rail thinness of boyhood instead his shoulders had broadened impressively. He wore his hair in a loose half ponytail and it was the first time Heero had ever seen Duo's hair down outside the bedroom. He looked so relaxed in a pair of blue jeans and a white tee shirt. He seemed happy to Heero, but there was a sparkle missing from his eyes that had been there even during the worst of their missions. Heero knew he was the one who had stolen it and cursed himself for ever getting close enough to Duo to hurt him.
"Maxwell." His quiet clipped reply seemed to wake Duo from the daze he was in.
"Hey Heero! Wow I never thought I'd see you again. Come in, have a seat. You just missed the guys by twenty minutes. You're lucky that you came when you did. Normally I'm at work but Hilde came down from L2 so I took the day off to take her around. So where have you been? Not even Relena could find you and that's saying something considering her resources. We've all been so worried." Duo seemed to talk non-stop as he led Heero into the living room. The house was big but not a mansion. It reminded Heero of that one safe house they had spent their first Christmas together in.
"Maxwell. I am not here to socialize." Heero's voice was so cold the tone so familiar from their wartime days that Duo immediately reacted his smile melting away to an expression of seriousness.
"So why are you here?" there was a hint of bitterness in his voice. Heero was not the only one who never wanted to kill again.
"During the war at one time we were best friends... no we were more, we were lovers. We were sent on a mission that went wrong and got captured by the enemy. Various chemicals were injected in our systems and you were compelled to ... for lack of a better word, use me. We escaped but the memories of what you did destroyed you. You had lost the will to live with them and tried to kill yourself. I went to Dr. J for help. Because it was obviously affecting your performance to the point you could no longer pilot Deathscythe, he agreed. All your memories of our relationship were suppressed."
*****
Duo didn't marvel over the fact that Heero had spoken to him more in that one breath then he had often spoken to him in a week. He was still trying to process what Heero was telling him in that cold voice and found himself confused. Heero? His Lover? He had never had a Lover. Even more shocking, he wanted him to believe they had been not just friends but best friends? He had always wanted a friend like that but with this cold fish? Never. It just didn't add up, why tell him now?
"Why? Why wait till now to tell me? The war ended years ago, that little Marimeia Incident ended last year. Why the silence? I no longer piloted Deathscythe. The Gundams are gone."
"I know that. I just never planned to tell you. The only reason I broke my silence is because someone from our past wanted to meet you and you wouldn't understand what they needed of you without those memories restored. Gomen nasai."
He remembered from somewhere that Heero reverted to his native tongue when he was upset. He noticed that the smaller boy's voice had broken but he was too upset to really care at the moment. He was too angry to think straight.
"How dare you? I was supposedly your lover but what gave you the right to violate my mind and steal *my* memories? Who gave you the ok to play god with *my* life? If not for some stranger's whim, you have the nerve to tell me that you would have kept them from me forever? How dare you?" The last sentence came out a hissed whisper, and Heero bowed his head in shame. How could he explain his fear, his pain and guilt to Duo? How could he tell him that anything even living without the only person who made him whole was better then living with the knowledge that person was dead because of him? How could he tell that to Duo much less this cruel stranger he had become?
"Just give me back my memories and get out of my life. People like you disgust me. I honestly don't see how I ever could have tolerated you as a friend much less a lover. I hate you, Heero fucking Yuy." The words wounded him more effectively then any weapon Heero couldn't help the tears that spilled down his cheeks at the open hate in Duo's expression.
"I will only if you promise to meet this person and not take out any hate you have for me on them."
Duo narrowed his eyes slightly ignoring the twinge in his heart whispering that this was so very wrong. That he never wanted to be the one to make Heero cry.
*****
Wiping his eyes Heero stood and Duo noticed abstractly that the Japanese boy was one of those few blessed with the ability to cry beautifully. Unlike Duo, who knew his eyes got puffy, his face splotchy and his nose red. Heero mumbled something and Duo frowned he couldn't even tell if it was a word.
"What?"
"Aishiteru." Heero said softly and Duo remembered the first and last time Heero had ever spoken that word to him. Brilliant cobalt eyes dulled as his consciousness turned inward trying to integrate his newfound memories back into their proper place. So many things made sense.
Knowing he was no longer welcome, Heero choked back a sob and fled. It didn't help that he almost ran into Hilde who was about to knock on the door. He noticed the gold band on her ring finger and felt what little was left of his heart shatter. Too bad he didn't notice the young man standing besides her wearing the matching wedding band as he fled.
OWARI
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