Iia Disera Part 12
Heero blinked open his eyes, staring up at the ceiling that was illuminated by the dim light at his headboard.
An unknown force had attacked our Arian ship and your father sent you with me in an escape craft which was later rescued by several Hydrans.
Your inability to control yourself with your baser instincts became evident at the age of three...
By the time you were eight, your eyes no longer changed color...
...discovered the perfect remedy to stop the changing eye colors.
He was Arian. Not human as he'd always believed, but Arian.
You have me. You're not a lie. Real. You're my other. Protect you.
Duo.
Heero reached and groped, turning left and right before suddenly sitting up. He was alone in the room. Padding to the bathroom, he looked inside to find that it was also empty. Dressing quickly, he left the room and checked the control room. It was empty, so he turned and checked the pantry.
"Heero?" Quatre was reading in the pantry with a water bulb in his hand. "What's the matter?"
"Duo. Where's Duo?"
"I haven't seen him. Have you checked the control center?"
"He's not there."
"Is something wrong?" Quatre got up, then grabbed Heero by the forearms. "Your eyes...!"
"I know." Heero looked towards the door. "I want to find Duo."
"Trowa!" Quatre yelled. "Wufei!"
It didn't take long for the two systems to rush in.
"What's the matter?" Wufei asked. "Let go of Heero, Quatre."
"His eyes! Look at his eyes!"
Wufei and Trowa came closer and both look surprised. "They're...really light blue."
"I know. I'm...I'm Arian," Heero answered. "Where's Duo?"
"I haven't seen him. We were just in the recreational lounge. Maybe the back room?" Wufei looked over to Trowa, who closed his eyes.
"No. Not the back room. Lower level. He's in the lower level."
"What's going on, Heero? What do you mean you're Arian?" Quatre asked, eyes wide. "Is that what happened after you and Duo..."
"No!" Heero shook his head. "I...I had always been Arian. I only...just found out."
Wufei gently pushed Quatre aside and led Heero to the table, helping him down into a chair. "Take your time," he said to the distraught Heero.
"The drive...it had a file that I couldn't open. I accidentally hit another key on the keyboard you had given me, Wufei, and the file opened. Inside were a bunch of text files that I read. They were...from my mentor. They said that the file wouldn't open as anything but the data program it posed as unless a certain key from an Arian keyboard were struck."
"And?" Trowa pushed. Quatre gave Heero a water bulb and Heero accepted it gratefully.
"My mentor, Doctor J, told me that we were both Arians and had been attacked when I was just a baby. My father sent the both of us in an escape craft which was later rescued by Hydrans. My mentor trained me in hopes that I'd one day come back to space and find my way home. He wrote that he'd intended to tell me this after my maiden flight but..."
"But he probably thinks you're dead now," Trowa said when Heero trailed off. Heero nodded.
"He told me of how he tried to...train the urges out of me. I had never been aware. His files explained all of it. Then...there was a drink, some cocktail he used on me to stop my eyes from changing color, to play down my instincts and urges. But I haven't been drinking it for over two weeks so the signs are showing again."
The three systems looked at each other, sitting back in thought. "That's...a lot to digest."
Heero looked towards the pantry door again. "Trowa? Can you get Duo for me?"
"Sure," Trowa answered. "I'll be right back."
The three remaining in the kitchen waited silently until Trowa came back. Heero stood quickly, but Trowa motioned him to sit down again.
"Duo's still downstairs."
"Why?" Heero asked. "Is something wrong?"
"He didn't say. Just said there was something to fix," Trowa shrugged. "I couldn't drag him up here. Sorry, Heero. He's sure to come up sometime. He needs to sleep and eat."
Heero nodded slowly then buried his face in his hands. "Gods..."
"Why don't you eat something, Heero?" Quatre got up and got him some food. "We ate already, but you had been sleeping so we didn't disturb you. We didn't even notice that Duo had left your room."
Heero didn't feel like eating, but once he saw the food he immediately reached for it. After a few bites, he looked up with a crooked grin. "Well, at least now I can get a different taste from these three chunks," he said. They lapsed into silence for a little while before Trowa stood.
"We need to run the routine checks from the control center." Trowa beckoned to Wufei. "Come on, Wufei."
Wufei nodded. "If you need anything, we'll be in there for a full half of a rotation."
Heero nodded, and the two systems bid Quatre goodbye with a quick kiss before leaving the pantry.
"You must be...overwhelmed, Heero." Quatre murmured.
Heero didn't answer as he finished eating. Then, he sighed. "Why isn't Duo here?"
"He must be working on something important or he wouldn't leave you. He knows, doesn't he?"
Heero nodded.
"An Arian wouldn't leave their other at a time like this unless absolutely necessary. He must be doing something to Leo, something that may ensure your protection too. That's his priority now."
Heero sighed and closed his eyes. "I've never felt this...needy before."
Quatre reached forward and patted Heero's hand. "I'll wait with you. He's bound to come up to eat. You know Duo and food," he tried to joke. "That's probably the most important to him after you and Leo."
Heero sighed. "For now...could you teach me more about Arians and Adua? And the language?"
Quatre nodded and stood. "I'll just go and get another panel and some material."
~*~
Duo sighed, twirling some tools in his two hands. He grit his teeth, poking around for something to occupy himself with.
"Coward."
Duo glared at his hologram.
"You are."
"You're the same person as I am."
"I also know how to be objective," the hologram retorted. "If you've forgotten, let me remind you that this was exactly what Trowa did before he was convinced that he was Quatre and Wufei's other."
Duo didn't answer.
"You know, if you're wrong, Heero's going to be going stir crazy upstairs."
Duo sighed and prodded at a globe before putting it back into place and closing the protective casing around it.
"He needs you. Just like Quatre and Wufei needed Trowa when he stayed down here."
Duo threw one of the tools at his hologram. "What do you know?" he snarled. "Your memories aren't as updated as mine are!"
"So try me." The hologram twirled the tool just as Duo was doing.
"Go away."
"You brought me here to keep you company."
Duo sighed. "Heero...he'd said all of these things about being afraid that I wasn't his other. I had asked him to give me a chance, so he could see in his Hydran ways whether I was or wasn't. But now that he is an Arian, I...I just want him to figure it out by himself whether or not he's feeling the...pull of being in the presence of his other. And I don't want to be there putting an influence on him as he decides."
The hologram considered this for a moment before sitting down next to Duo. "Tough decision," he admitted. "But still, hiding here isn't the best option."
"This is pretty much the only place I can be where I can't see or hear him. Where he can't see or hear me. I need to be here, if only for a little while."
The hologram sighed again. "It's your call."
The two lapsed into silence until the sounds of their tinkering filled up the void.
~*~
Trowa thought that Quatre looked exhausted by the time he and Wufei had completed their task and returned to the pantry. Then he looked at Heero and decided that if Quatre looked exhausted, Heero looked like hell. His hair was more mussed up than it usually was and his eyes were still a pale blue that, if possible, seemed even lighter.
Quatre shook his head slightly at his others, telling them without words that they hadn't left the pantry and that Duo had yet to come upstairs. Trowa nodded and left while Wufei entered and sat beside Quatre.
"What's going on?" he asked quietly.
"We've just been talking about Arians and Adua. Going over some basic language again. Heero's beginning to pick up a bit of it." Quatre answered. "You ready to eat?"
Wufei nodded and Quatre stood to get the food out. He'd just set the food down when Trowa returned with a grim face.
"Duo's not done downstairs yet, even though he has his hologram with him," he reported. "But he didn't say when. Just said for the lot of us to take a rest. I got him some food from the cargo so he wouldn't starve."
Heero shook his head. "No. He's not just doing repairs and checks downstairs."
"What do you mean?" Wufei asked.
"If he's got his hologram down there with him, he should have been able to spare even a minute to come up here if Trowa told him I wanted to see him." Heero pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes before he stood. "I'm sorry to have kept you here with me all of this time, Quatre. I'll be in my room."
"Wait, you haven't eaten yet, Heero," Quatre protested. Heero looked at the food and tried to turn away from it, but he couldn't stop himself from picking it up.
"Enjoy your meal," he said to the others before leaving the pantry.
"He's a mess," Quatre whispered. "I've never seen Heero like that. He's always been so calm, so collected, other than when Duo had broken his Hydran object."
"I think Duo's doing what Trowa did before," Wufei slid an arm around Quatre. "Maybe he's just trying to figure things out himself as well."
Trowa nodded. "Maybe. He didn't say. But he didn't look nearly as bad of a wreck as Heero."
"Did you tell him that?"
Trowa nodded. "But he said he'll be back upstairs once he's done dealing with Leo."
"He's putting it off." Quatre played with his food a bit before taking a bite in a sullen manner. "If he thinks he wants Heero to believe that he's Heero's other before he'll come upstairs, I think Heero's already past that. Part of the thing is, Heero doesn't quite understand why he's feeling so needy towards Duo."
Trowa tried to lighten the situation. "He's got it bad for Duo," he said with a slight chuckle. "That just means they'll be at it for a while when Duo gets over his stubborn self."
"Let's just hope that's soon," Quatre sighed.
"You're thinking too much about Duo and his other. Or Heero and his other." Wufei leaned close and deliberately licked the length of Quatre's neck. "Let's finish eating quickly and I'll show you how much Trowa and I have been thinking of our other when we were working."
Heero ate and showered before curling in his bed. It felt too big, too empty, so he got out and wrapped the blanket around himself as he lay down with his back against the wall.
It was difficult to be an Arian. If Heero had thought for a moment that it would make things easier, he immediately regretted it. Things had been going well when he had been human and suddenly, it felt as if the carpet had been pulled out from under his feet.
Damn Doctor J. Damn him for not telling Heero sooner. Heero would have been able to keep it a secret and at least he would have known. He would have worked hard to come back to space himself. He wouldn't be so completely and utterly lost, with only a part Arian to teach him what it was like to be an Arian. To learn the Arian language.
And damn Duo. Damn him for telling Heero all about how protective an Arian is over their other. All of those stupid lessons and all he'd done now was avoid Heero.
Duo must have only liked the Hydran Heero. He may not have known it then, but maybe he did, after Heero had fallen asleep. He must be trying to deal with the loss of his other, the Hydran Heero.
Was Duo his other? Heero curled tighter. He wasn't sure, but there was something in him that told him he wanted Duo there with him. But he was just learning to be Arian; how could he know if that was really what it felt like to just know who his other was?
There were too many questions and no one to answer them.
Damn Duo for leaving him to these thoughts, all by himself. The more he thought, the more the ache inside him increased. It was becoming almost painful. Heero pulled the blanket over his head, stuffed his knuckles into his mouth and screamed.
Duo suddenly sat up, and cursed when he hit his head.
"What's wrong with you now?" the hologram asked irritably. "You've kept me here with you for almost a whole rotation. And you've hardly spoken. Do something, damn it."
"I just...I thought I heard something."
The hologram snorted.
"Go to sleep," Duo murmured. "We'll see what happens when we wake."
It took him a lot of turning about, a bump each to his head and hip, and a lot more time before Duo finally dozed off, trying to ignore the ache within himself.
~*~
Heero let himself drift about in the anti-gravity room. He'd only slept a couple of hours on the floor before he'd wanted to leave the room. Once there, he tried to keep himself centered by doing a variety of breathing exercises. The door hissed open and he looked over to see Trowa.
"Quatre's worried," Trowa said as he floated in and latched himself to a line so he could drift with Heero.
"How did you guys come across my escape pod?" Heero asked.
"A signal on the radar," Trowa answered. "Why?"
"Is the pod still here?"
Trowa nodded. "In the lower level, at the hatch." His eyes narrowed. "Why do you ask?"
"Just curious." Heero shrugged. "Any reason you kept it?"
"It was still in tact. No damage under Duo's and my inspection. We didn't know if it would somehow be useful for us in the future."
"Trowa?"
"Yes?"
"How'd you know that Quatre and Wufei were your others?"
"It's not something you can explain. How do you explain hunger?"
"An empty feeling in the stomach."
"Something like that. But...elsewhere. Not the stomach."
"But everywhere else?"
"Maybe. Could be different for everyone."
"Let me into the lower level, Trowa."
"Why?"
"So I can see Duo. Won't touch anything."
"I don't know if I can do that."
"Please?" Heero turned to Trowa, eyes pleading. Trowa saw that they were almost white; there was barely any blue left. "Just for a short while. I promise."
Trowa sighed. "In a little while."
Heero nodded and made his way back to the wall. Unhooking the line, he propelled himself towards the door and stepped through the force field. "I'll be in my room until you're ready."
Trowa nodded absently, hoping that Heero would be able to fix things with Duo. If not, everyone was in for a long, hard ride.
TBC...
Back to Zazu's Fanfictions Page