Iia Disera Part 11
"You're actually up in less than half of a rotation."
Duo shot a glare at Trowa as he entered the pantry with Heero.
"Heero, you're good for him," Wufei added. "He's beginning to develop a belly from all of that sleeping and eating."
"Tell him I'm extremely fit, Heero," Duo looked pleadingly at Heero, who averted his eyes, a slight blush coloring his cheek. "Come on, you've touched me, you know I'm nothing but muscle and a bit of fat."
"Stop teasing them," Quatre said with a chuckle. "Leave them be."
"Serves him right for always teasing us. Or have you forgotten that?" Wufei asked. Still, they sat down at the table, deliberately leaving Duo and Heero two seats together.
"How is it that you already know?" Heero blurted.
"Trowa is the brain behind the physical Leo," Duo muttered in answer. "One of his functions is the ability to 'feel' how many beings are in any part of the ship. I think he likes to use that a little too much, sometimes."
"As if I need to," Trowa retorted. "I happen to be able to sense very well where my others are, thank you."
"Another Arian trait?" Heero asked softly.
"But I did appreciate, briefly, the sorts of sounds I heard."
"He also has ears everywhere if he makes it his concern, although I had always thought that Trowa respected privacy." Duo glared at Trowa again.
"Heero's been mad at you," Trowa said in his own defense. "I had to know that he wasn't hurting you. But those sounds led to an interesting night with my own others, the brief little bit I heard."
Heero wanted to hide under the table, but he resolutely took a bite from his food. He grunted in surprise.
"Tastes a bit different," he murmured.
"A little sweeter, perhaps?" Quatre couldn't help but tease a little too. At the sight of Duo's glare, he backed off with a chuckle. "Okay, I get it. Leave your other alone."
"No teasing him. You want to get me back, you tease me only," Duo murmured.
"What fun is there in that?" Wufei asked. "You spent a lot of time teasing Quatre when he did nothing back to you. It's fair play."
Duo grumbled below his breath and worked on eating as fast as he could.
"Duo?"
"What now?" Duo looked up at Trowa again.
"I need to run some specs by you, down at the lower level."
"I was going to go through Heero's computer with him," Duo answered. "Can it wait?"
"Go ahead, Duo," Heero cut in. "I'm okay on my own. I can show it to you later, all right?"
"But we had planned --"
"Remember lesson three section two?" The corner of Heero's lips quirked upwards. "You should know it better than me, right?"
Duo stared for a long moment at Heero, trying to prevent himself from jumping his other based on the teasing tone. "Fine," he finally grumbled.
The group finished eating and separated from the pantry. Duo gave Heero's hand a brief squeeze before he followed Trowa towards the lower level.
"Will this take long, Trowa?"
"A bit. But it's important. I hadn't realized that one of the boards could malfunction; it's getting old."
Duo blinked at Trowa in surprise. "When did you find out?"
"I was doing a very thorough check of Leo after the Zepra attack."
"I see," Duo said, looking about the second level with a sigh. "So, let's get started."
~*~
Heero stretched out on his bed with a sigh, noting briefly how good it felt to stretch out on his stomach which Doctor J had deemed it an 'inappropriate sitting posture'. Flipping open the panel of his computer once again, Heero was prompted to switch on his wireless connection. Shaking his head briefly, he shut off the feature and closed the wireless connection wizard, checking the box for manual operation of the feature so no more prompts would show up. Then, he continued to look through his files.
Another file caught his eye although he was sure he had already run a similarly named one to determine the data programs were still active. Selecting it, Heero considered the fairly long list of files, all titled chronologically with his initials. He chose the first one and was read the warning window.
"The mentor prohibits the access of this file by HY."
Heero frowned. Why was he not allowed to access the files on his drive?
He went about trying to get around the warning window and finally succeeded only when he accidentally struck a key on the Arian keyboard.
Making a mental note to ask Duo or Wufei what that key was for, Heero opened the first file again and began to read.
My boy, it is beyond me how you have opened this file as it is only accessible through an Arian keyboard. If you are reading this, you must have come into contact with Arians and successfully connected this drive to their keyboard. The human technology is not compatible with this file and it should operate under the guise of a data program unless otherwise connected.
Heero read the words again and frowned. Was this a joke? He read on.
We landed on Hydro, or Earth when you, Heero, were only six months old.
An unknown force had attacked our Arian ship and your father sent you with me in an escape craft which was later rescued by several Hydrans. At the time, I was the engineer of your father's ship. I had been unable to answer their questions regarding the technology of our escape craft and I managed to destroy it at a later date. It became evident that we would not be able to return to Adua.
It was difficult to deal with the poor technology of Hydro, but for you, it was easier as you had no recollection of your Arian life. Brought up as a Hydran, I chose for you the only path that would allow you to perhaps one day return to your home.
Your inability to control yourself with your baser instincts became evident at the age of three and that was when I realized you would need stricter discipline in order to thoroughly fit in with the Hydrans and raise no suspicion. The three Hydrans that had picked us up passed away from various accidents and thus I was able to keep our secret safe. Still, your ability to try to create better technology had to be cured and I had to ensure that you knew nothing but your training and studies. By the time you were eight, you were focused solely in the tasks I set to you.
What you don't know will not hurt you; I intend to tell you all of this after your maiden flight. Should anything happen prior to that, this secret will remain between me and this drive for all eternity.
If you are reading this, perhaps at this moment you do not believe that it is possible for you to be Arian. To be what Hydrans call an alien. But if you are reading this, it means you have been on an Arian ship and if the signs are not already apparent, then the following files will inform you of the details.
Heero opened the next file. It was like watching a train wreck about to happen; he couldn't quite believe Doctor J's words but he remained convinced enough to read on, based on the fact that the program had booted to this file instead of its usual data program.
Your instincts for the most part were cured by habit alone. You no longer sought to over eat because your portions were pre-measured in the guise to keep your body in a top-notch condition. You knew nothing but your studies and training, no frustrations outside of this life and that cured you of your temper tantrums. I did not allow you to be lazy and woke you up at strict times; again, a habit. You became greedy only in the information you absorbed, and that I allowed. You were proud of your work, and that, too, was allowed.
There were three things I was unable to control, however. Your lust, your envy, and your changing eye color. The first two I only tried to distract you from, but the last became easily noticeable and had to be cured.
Please open the third file.
Heero opened the third file almost on autopilot.
I created a simple cocktail and after many failures discovered the perfect remedy to stop the changing eye colors. I included this cocktail in your morning glass of milk every day, and over time that seemed to hold off your other urges as well. The single month that I kept you off the cocktail had you reverting back after the first two weeks, a slow process. After learning that you would not be permanently damaged by the cocktail, I continued to add it to your breakfast every morning.
The details of the cocktail followed but Heero was too numb to read.
Two weeks. It had been that long since he had boarded the first spacecraft that left Earth; there was no way Doctor J could have continued to give him the cocktail. Then, Heero had boarded Leo and...
He slammed the panel shut and tried to calm himself. If all of that were true, then there had to have been signs that he was turning back. Getting up, Heero entered the bathroom, commanding the mirror to reflect him and stared into his own eyes. Nothing seemed different and Heero tried to find other signs.
He'd fallen into lust, but that could still have been because Heero had never associated with another being in a sexual way, right?
Gluttony; he'd been eating the portions as given to him at the table.
Envy? He'd been envious of the three systems and their relationship but that was because the three had looked so happy. They had each other. They weren't alone as he was, or had been.
Did his eyes just become lighter? Heero scrutinized the blue he could see. When did Arian eyes become lighter? When they were angry. Was he angry now?
His fist was throbbing in pain and sitting against the wall before he could answer himself.
This was a joke. It was a cruel joke. It had to have been.
But the signs were so real.
"No," Heero whispered. "No, no, no." He began to scream the word as he slid down the wall to the floor, his hands in his hair.
His hair. Doctor J had always cut his hair. He couldn't remember having the problem others complained about; hair loss, hair on the bathroom floor, but he'd assumed that it was because the others were older and it was natural to lose hair at an older age, wasn't it? Heero had had no other comparison to others his age.
"No!" He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to control his own breathing.
"Heero?" Heero looked up to see Duo's concerned expression as the Arian quickly knelt and took him by the shoulders. "Heero? What's wrong?"
"Duo..." Heero felt this need flare inside himself. Duo. Duo was safe ground. One moment Heero had been sure that Duo had been a part of the cruel joke, but Duo would never do that. Heero didn't know why he was so sure, but he was.
"Heero, you're scaring me." Duo studied Heero's expression. Heero looked afraid and angry, his eyes light. Did Hydran eyes change sometimes? Or maybe it was the light in the bathroom, reflecting in his irises.
"Duo..." Heero leaned forward and pressed his face into Duo's chest, seeking the safety he could feel emitting from the Arian. "Oh Gods. Oh Gods."
"Heero, please," Duo pleaded. "Tell me, tell me what's wrong."
"I'm..." Heero gripped the body in front of him. "I'm a lie. My life was a lie."
"What?"
"A lie, Duo!" Heero pulled back and stared into Duo's eyes, willing the Arian to understand what he was saying. "A file. There was a file on the computer, on the drive, and it says I'm Arian. It says I'm an Arian rescued by Hydrans with my mentor Doctor J and he tried to hide my identity and drugged me so I wouldn't show that I was Arian and, oh Gods, oh Gods..."
Duo stared at Heero, not caring that the grip was hurting him.
"Tell me, Duo. Tell me you put that there. I won't even be mad, I won't. Please. Tell me."
Duo shook his head slowly. "I...I don't tell lies, Heero."
Heero moaned, knowing that Duo spoke the truth. "Then I am? Does that mean I...I..."
"Calm down." Duo held Heero close to himself. "Calm down, Heero." He rocked his other in his arms gently, trying to protect him although Duo knew he could offer no protection here.
"The computer, it says...the files...I'm an Arian. The signs, the drug, I haven't been drugged since I left Earth..."
"Calm, Heero." Duo squeezed Heero tighter, willing Heero to feel his calm presence.
Heero took several deep breaths and loosened his hold on Duo. Deeming it safe to move back a little, Duo pulled away to look at Heero once more. "It's okay, Heero. Was there anything else?"
"Didn't...finish reading." Heero felt comforted by Duo's presence, something he'd never felt before.
"Heero..." Duo massaged Heero's scalp gently. "It's okay. Whenever you're up to it, we'll finish reading it. We'll get to the bottom of this, all of this."
"But what if I'm..."
"You have me," Duo said fiercely. "Not a lie. You're real. Real here. I don't care about anything else. I won't even care if you're Zepra. Even if you were and took me back to your home and made me your slave --"
"Not Zepra," Heero cut in. "Arian. Files say I'm Arian."
"You're not a lie," Duo said again. "Real. You're my other. Protect you." Duo hugged Heero tightly as he whispered on. "Mireh. Iia joavu saruow. Iia oul heiobek saruow. Heiobek saruow, Heero."
The mic was muffled against his shoulder but Heero let the words wash over him.
For a long time, they remained on the floor of the bathroom until Heero tugged lightly at Duo, who took the hint to pull back.
"I'm all right," Heero said. "I can read...read the rest of it."
"We can wait."
"No, I want to do it now. Read all of it now. With...with you."
"Yes," Duo pressed his lips to Heero in a firm kiss. "With me. With you."
He helped Heero to his feet and they returned to the bed. Duo sat against the headboard and pulled Heero between his legs after Heero had picked up the panel. With a deep breath, Heero flipped up the panel again and selected the files.
"Read it aloud, Heero?"
Heero nodded and began to read the remaining files. Duo listened as Heero spoke of his life, his training, the little bits of Arian signs that Doctor J tried to hide. There were notations of when Heero broke rules despite the cocktail, when Doctor J had to punish Heero by grounding him when tempter tantrums got the best of him, by pouring touches of salt on wounded knuckles when Heero hurt himself trying to expel his anger. More notations of changes in the cocktails as necessary as Heero's need to gain release became more evident. How Doctor J taught Heero to gain release in a clinical way, how it was only satisfactory and nothing else but a bodily function. After reading all of the files, Duo waited as Heero did a thorough search and checked every remaining file on the drive before determining that there were no more secret files.
"I'll kill him," Duo whispered. "I will." He rubbed Heero's arm, holding his other close. "It's okay. There can't be any more secrets. No more."
Heero nodded. "No more."
Duo kissed Heero's neck. "Heero..." He kissed Heero's neck. "Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking, feeling."
Heero turned slightly and pressed his lips to Duo. "No. Not now. Just...be with me, Duo."
"Heero..."
"Please," Heero whispered. "I need...need you. This is safe. You're safe. I can't...explain but I need..."
Duo kissed Heero, cutting off the words. He wouldn't tell Heero that those feelings could mean that Heero knew that Duo was his other. That would skew his thoughts and Heero did not need that, not at this time. He moved Heero gently, not breaking their kiss as he lay Heero down.
As Heero surrendered his body to Duo's comforting touches, Duo vowed that this would be the last time he would touch Heero until Heero felt sure he wanted those touches.
It would break his heart if Heero did not feel that Duo was his other...
But it was not in Arian traits to force another, and the last thing Duo wanted to do was to force Heero to become his should Heero believe otherwise.
TBC...
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