Author's Note: Don't tar and feather Heero. I know he's dense, but he'll get better. Eventually. In a few chapters, anyway.
Heero's POV
The Wedding Planner Part 51
Disaster
After spending most of Saturday with a perfectly beastly hangover, I was in no mood for surprises; so when Relena told me on our way to Lady Ann's that she'd found out the "dinner party" was actually a surprise engagement party, I nearly exploded.
"Engagement party? Relena, you know damned well we're not setting a date!"
"I know," she said with a genuinely apologetic tone. "I had no idea Lady Ann would plan something so--elaborate, without telling me ahead of time. But she's gone to so much trouble, I couldn't very well ask her to cancel."
While my rational mind knew it was too late to cancel after so many people had gone to such trouble to set this party up, my emotional side wanted to scream at Relena that Ann had no right. How dare she spring a surprise engagement party on us? Not that I'm a model of etiquette, but I knew damned well it was a serious faux pas to plan something that important without informing the couple.
"When she had me keep tonight open for a dinner party, I never dreamed it would be in our honor," Relena continued, clearly aware of my agitation. "She's my best friend, Heero. I just couldn't embarrass her by making her call it off at this late date."
"I know," I conceded, my temper easing at her conciliatory tone. "It's okay, really."
She fidgeted uneasily on the seat, adjusting her hair for about the tenth time. "Do I look all right?"
"You look lovely," I sighed. Sadly, the times I found Relena the most appealing were when she was girlishly insecure and needy. Most of the time she was such a consummate diplomat and so composed that I felt like there was a wall between us.
She smiled and relaxed a bit. "Thank you." She reached over and put a hand on one of mine. "Maybe tonight will be good for us."
I shrugged, refraining from pointing out that it wouldn't change anything. What I was dreading the most was that people would be pushing for us to pick a date for a wedding I planned to call off as soon as possible.
I still intended to tell Relena we were through on the way home after the party. I was going to insist we go to a counselor, and use that relatively "safe" environment to bring up our huge--dare I say "irreconcilable"--differences (i.e. the fact that I was gay). In that setting I could let Relena down gently--make her see that neither one of us was going to get what we wanted from the relationship, and that it was time to move on.
With Duo.
An image of his face forced its way into my mind--Duo laughing at my ridiculous puns, looking slyly at me as he talked me into using my shirt to help tie the giraffe on the boat--his panicked expression after I kissed him, and the hopeless resignation when I showed up at his door. He'd said he loved me, and I knew I loved him. No matter how much I had to change in my life to be with him, I knew it was worth it.
~*~
We arrived at Lady Ann's fashionably late. Relena had informed me that when Ann told her about the surprise she added that we should wait until about eight to make our "grand entrance." It would give the guests time to settle in and socialize a bit before focusing on us.
Did I ever mention I hate social events with a passion?
I could play the game well enough. I just didn't like doing it. And all of the people at this function would be in Relena and Ann's social circle. Wufei hadn't even been invited, which explained why he hadn't given me a little "heads up" about it. I could imagine he'd have had volumes to say about this event, had he known.
And as for how I'd explain it to Duo when it showed up in the social pages...I had no idea. But I figured telling him the honest truth before that happened was probably--no, definitely--my best course of action.
If only I'd gotten that chance.
~*~
We arrived at the stroke of eight, and I reminded Pargan I'd need to leave promptly at eleven to catch my redeye flight to Hong Kong. Relena had already expressed her disappointment over that, but I was secretly relieved it gave me a way out of an uncomfortable situation sooner rather than later. I just had to survive three hours of polite mingling and maybe a dance or two.
Lady Ann met us at the door, positively gushing over Relena. "Darling! You look divine! Positively radiant. You're going to be the loveliest bride." She darted a brief glance at me, but my stony stare seemed to caution her against gushing over me. "Heero, you're positively dashing tonight. Come; let's announce you two to the guests."
She led the way, calling out a greeting to everyone from the top of the stairs and telling them the guests of honor had arrived. After a bit of polite clapping, the throng of guests resumed their activities, and Relena and I descended the staircase and headed for the hors d'oeuvres table.
Sure enough, we were set upon by couple after couple, wishing us well and asking for a date for our wedding. While Relena politely replied that we had no timetable and that it was likely to be a long engagement, I snagged a gin and tonic from the first waiter I could collar.
It helped calm me down just a bit, and I really didn't mind when another of Relena's royal friends, Mariemeia, cornered us to offer congratulations and the latest gossip.
"You look simply breathtaking, Relena."
I was tempted to say "I told you so," to my insecure fiancée. But Relena merely beamed and replied "Why thank you, Mary. How sweet of you to think so."
"And speaking of breathtaking," the girl continued, "your brother's outdone himself this time. Have you seen the gorgeous date he brought?"
"Mill has a date?" Relena asked in surprise.
I snorted into my gin and tonic. Milliardo always had a date. I idly wondered what his latest boytoy would look like.
Shit--this whole "bisexual" thing was really messing with my head. I'd never looked at guys that way. But now I noticed things I never had before--the way a man smiled, or moved, or the husky tone of his voice. Of course, no man I'd ever met could compare with Duo for sheer perfection. His hair was merely his most distinguishing feature. But his brilliant eyes and soft smile...that lithe build and natural grace...were what made him truly dazzling. And his voice...
"Relena, you look lovely tonight."
I stiffened at the sound of Duo's voice, turning sharply.
There, dressed to kill and with Milliardo's arm possessively draped around his waist, was Duo.
"What are you doing here?" I blurted without thinking.
Everyone looked at me--Relena, Milliardo, Mariemeia, and of course Duo.
He smiled easily, ignoring the rude greeting. "Mill asked me to come," he told me with only the slightest edge of bitterness to his voice. "With him," he added unnecessarily.
"Heero!" Relena chided, turning to slip an arm around one of mine. "That's no way to greet the man who planned our whole wedding." She smiled charmingly at her brother and his--date. "It's great to see you here together."
Milliardo gave me a positively chilling smile. "You're looking well, Yuy."
"You too," I said through gritted teeth.
Duo wasn't looking at me, and I could see the tightness of his jaw and the rigid tension across his shoulders. God, I wanted to drag him out of the room and explain that this party wasn't my idea--that in spite of what it looked like, I was ending things with Relena as soon and as gently as possible.
But there he was, leaning comfortably into Mill's embrace, practically daring me to object.
Obviously he was pissed at me.
As the band struck up a waltz, Duo extricated himself from Milliardo's arm and held out a hand to Relena. "Care to dance?"
She ducked her head shyly, glancing at me.
"I'm sure Heero won't mind," Duo said quickly, darting a cold look my way. "It's all right if I steal your lovely fiancée for a dance, isn't it?"
"Of course," I replied with all the forced civility I could muster.
What the hell was he trying to do?
He escorted Relena away, twirling her gracefully into his arms, and waltzing off with practiced ease. Damn, he was beautiful!
And everyone there knew it. The crowd parted and thinned, all eyes focusing on my fiancée and my lover. They were gorgeous together; I could admit that much. But when Duo leaned in to whisper something in Relena's ear that made her blush and giggle, I didn't know which one to envy. And while we're on the subject, he was holding her way too close to be considered quite proper.
The bastard was doing it on purpose, damn him!
Sure enough, I could hear awed whispers and sly chuckles as Duo's cheek brushed Relena's, and she visibly shivered at whatever he did to her ear. For fuck's sake, what was he trying to accomplish?!
She adjusted her grip, pressing a little closer to him, and whispering something back. I was about to stalk out and cut in, when I felt Milliardo ease up beside me, his hungry gaze following the pair as they danced.
"God--he's divine," he breathed in a lust-filled undertone.
"Do I have to remind you to keep your hands off him?"
Milliardo laughed aloud. "Remind me? Yuy, you'll have to restrain me. Nothing could keep me from touching him except his own refusal. And I'm hoping I can be persuasive enough to overcome that."
My hands were clenched so tightly I could feel the bones in my fingers creak with the strain. "Leave him the fuck alone, Mill!"
The ice-blue eyes narrowed slightly. "I told you before, if you want him you'll have to fight for him." He looked around the posh ballroom. "This party says it all."
I turned towards him. "This party was planned without my permission, and without Relena's. It says nothing!"
He raised an eyebrow, studying my face, and then a smile broke across his. "Well, well. Still being the good little soldier, Yuy? Marching to your parents' tune?" He shook his head, his expression hardening. "When will you admit your orientation, Yuy?"
I took a step back, glaring hotly at him. "When will you butt the fuck out of other people's business?" Before he could ask more incisive questions, I turned away and went after another gin and tonic.
By the time I returned, Milliardo was out dancing with Duo, and Relena had been spirited away by some ambassador friend of her deceased father. I was rather relieved to sip my drink in relative peace; but when I saw how low Mill's hand was on Duo's back, fingers nearly brushing his ass, I almost threw the glass at both of them.
Was this Duo's idea of payback? He could have simply called and asked me to explain the engagement party. Instead the defiant little bastard had to accept Milliardo's invitation and flaunt it in my face.
Well, two could play at that game! I finished my drink and stubbornly walked over and cut in on Relena's dance, taking her back from her grey-haired partner. I know Duo had teased me about dance lessons back when we were making wedding plans, but honestly, after years of attending social events, I could hold my own.
Relena smiled at the determined gleam in my eyes, and allowed me to whisk her off for several dances in a row.
~*~
We finally took a break some time later, and ended up with a small group of well-wishers gathered by the buffet table.
Milliardo escorted Duo over about that time, and I dared a brief glance at the braided man. He was slightly flushed from the activity, and of course wisps of chestnut hair framed his handsome face. But the defiant gleam in the indigo eyes hadn't dimmed one bit; if anything, I thought he was a little angrier than before.
"So, Relena, when is the big day?" asked yet another nosey idiot.
She smiled with her usual diplomatic grace. "We aren't ready to set a time limit on our engagement. With our busy schedules--"
"But you should pick a date so you can at least be assured of getting Romefeller, if that's where the reception's to be. You know they've got a waiting list a mile long," one woman pointed out.
"Yes, why don't you pick a date?" Duo chimed in, with a malicious glint in his eyes. "I mean, after all, Heero, you and 'Lena are in your mid-twenties, right? There's that whole 'biological clock' ticking. Gotta have a few rugrats to carry on the Yuy name before it's too late."
I almost gaped at his blatant attempts to provoke me. "We don't have to do any such thing," I said firmly. "In fact, that's not and never has been part of our plan."
He shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, that's up to you. But whether you plan to pop out a bunch of kids or not, you may as well tie the knot sooner rather than later." His smirk was positively icy. "I'm sure I could persuade Silvia to put you at the top of the waiting list. And I might not even have to sleep with her to do it."
There were slightly nervous giggles from the gathered people, who apparently weren't sure how to take the crude comment.
I took a firm grip on Duo's arm. "Will you excuse us just a minute, Milliardo? Relena? I'd like a private word with Duo."
My brother-in-law to be--I mean not be--smiled coolly, his glance flickering between us. "Hurry back with him."
"Yes, do!" Relena added helpfully, turning back to her friends.
Duo resisted, but my iron grip on his arm must have persuaded him of the seriousness of my intentions, as he relented and accompanied me outside to a terrace. I turned and shut both of the doors behind us, and when I turned around he was leaning back against the stone railing with his arms crossed defiantly.
"What do you want?" he demanded.
"What the hell was all that about? Pushing for us to pick a date? Talking about sleeping with Silvia? Are you fucking nuts?"
"No--I was just asking the question on everyone's mind. Milliardo was saying--"
"That's another thing! What are you doing here with him? Of all the people for you to show up here with--!"
"It was Milliardo who called me," Duo snapped icily. "Otherwise I wouldn't even have known about your little soiree. I don't usually read the society page, y'know."
"This wasn't my idea, Duo..."
"And yet here you are," he cut in coldly.
I was stung by the bitterness in his voice. "You know I don't want to be--"
"I don't know jack shit, Yuy!" he growled back. "Less than a week ago you were waiting at my doorstep, swearing there was more to you being there than idle curiosity or lust. And here you are with Relena announcing your engagement to the world!" He gave a bitter laugh. "I take that back. You're only announcing it to most of the world. You left me out of that loop, didn't you?"
"If you'd just listen and let me explain--"
"No!" Duo's face was flushed with emotion, his fists clenched at his sides. "I don't want explanations. I just want--" His voice broke and he swallowed hard, looking away. "When were you gonna tell me?"
"I just found out about the party this morning--"
"Fuck the party! When were you going to tell me you plan to go through with the wedding?" The indigo eyes shot me a deadly look. "After all, since I planned the damned thing, it'd be helpful if you gave me a fucking date for it!"
"I'm not going through with it."
"Bullshit," he snapped back. "You'll never get past that need to please your parents--to live up to everyone's expectations--to be seen as 'perfect'." He shook his head. "It's not even about Relena any more."
His anger brought my own simmering frustration to the surface. "Well, you're the one who keeps saying I can't break up with her for your sake."
"You can't." He turned his back, wrapping his arms around himself as if he were cold. "You were supposed to do it for your own sake...because you knew there were other, better options."
"I don't want options. I want you!"
"No you don't," he said flatly. "You want security--stability--the approval of your parents, your bosses, and the whole civilized world." He turned around to fix a burning gaze on me. "Well you got it, Yuy! You got what you wanted."
"No, I didn't!" I snarled back, wanting to tell him again that the only thing I wanted was him. But no matter how I said it, I knew it wouldn't convince him. "Duo--"
He shook his head. "Don't. Just don't say anything." He managed a slight, rueful smile. "I don't know what's worse--your need to appease everyone but yourself, or your inability to make up your mind. So I'll save you the trouble. I'll make it up for you." He started for the door.
"So that's it?" I asked sarcastically. "You just flip a switch and make the emotions go away? What're you gonna do now--go fuck Milliardo?"
He paused, turning a deadly look my way. "Back off, Yuy! You've got no right to tell me who to fuck!"
"Doesn't loving you give me that right?"
He spun to face me. "You have no idea what love is! Solo knew about love; Alex, too. All you know is duty and obligation. So go on back to your picture perfect fiancée, Yuy. You fuckin' deserve each other!"
He turned away again, and in desperation I grabbed his arm, wanting to apologize for bringing Milliardo into the discussion, for not knowing how to prove I loved him, and for showing up at the stupid party in the first place. But I found myself ducking a surprisingly fast punch.
"Don't you ever lay a hand on me again!" he stormed.
Before he could swing again, I pulled him up against me, backing him into the ivy-covered wall, and kissing him with all the passion and desperation I possessed.
For a moment, he resisted, and then he kissed back, relaxing in my arms and almost melting into the embrace. But when he pulled back, there were tears in his eyes. "Don't drag this out any more, Heero," he whispered hoarsely. "Just--let me go."
"I don't want to."
"You have to."
He pushed me gently away, giving a half-hearted smirk. "Bye, Heero. If you ever find yourself single and unattached, try giving me a call. If I'm still around, maybe we could go sailing or something." He leaned in and kissed me softly, and then turned and was gone, pulling open the door and stepping inside before I could stop him.
I was too stunned to move; I'd expected him to try to hit me again or at the very least curse me some more. I'd expected almost anything but a goodbye kiss.
When I finally could breathe again, without feeling like I was drowning, I went inside and looked around for Duo.
He wasn't in sight--nor were Milliardo and Relena--so I headed for the entrance, which was where I finally spotted them. Milliardo was holding Duo's coat for him, and they were at the door, bidding Lady Ann and Relena goodbye.
"Oh--Heero!" Relena called, gesturing me over to her. "Mill and Duo are leaving early." She shot me a suspicious look, knowing I'd just had Duo outside, and probably thinking I'd lectured him about his behavior.
I nodded, noticing Duo kept his gaze very deliberately averted. "Thanks for coming," I said stiffly.
Milliardo gave me a perfectly triumphant look, wrapping an arm possessively around Duo's waist. "We had a lovely time," he said with a gracious nod of his head.
Relena stood on tiptoe to kiss her brother on the cheek, and then did the same to Duo, smiling contentedly at the sight of them together. "I loved dancing with you, Duo," she said with a warm and genuine smile.
His return grin lacked its usual luster. "You're a wonderful dancer, 'Lena. You'll absolutely shine at your wedding." Without even glancing at me, he tugged Milliardo out the door.
"Fuck," I muttered bitterly.
I'm not sure what I should have done. Running after them would have been pointless, as Duo had made himself very clear; until I was truly unattached, he wanted nothing to do with me. But watching him leave with Milliardo nearly made me sick to my stomach.
"Heero?" Relena was at my side, putting a gentle hand on my arm, and frowning. "Are you all right?"
"Fine," I lied flatly.
"We have about a half an hour till it's time to leave to get you to your plane," she said quietly. "Would you like to sit down for a bit? You look tired."
I blinked, vaguely surprised at her concern; it was a bit out of character for her. "No, Relena. Why don't we have a last dance?" I suggested, meaning more with that simple statement than she could possibly realize.
~*~
Later, I changed clothes in a spare room at the mansion, and we rode in silence to the airport, my mind occupied by the thought of Duo in Milliardo's arms. It wasn't until I was getting out and leaning in to give Relena a dutiful peck on the cheek that I realized I hadn't told her we were through.
"When I get back, we need to talk," I said quietly. "About a lot of things."
She nodded, looking somewhat resigned. She had to know by now that I hadn't changed my stance on the engagement--that I was adamant that it couldn't continue. I just wondered if she was beginning to guess at the reason I insisted on counseling. Or, well, part of the reason...namely that I didn't want to marry her at all any more.
"Have a safe trip," she urged.
Pargan had my suitcase at the curb, and I nodded thanks before heading into the airport.
Wufei was waiting in the boarding area, reading a book, and barely spared me a glance as I settled into the seat next to him. "Right on time. You're doing better."
I sighed deeply. "I've completely fucked everything up," I told him bluntly, desperate to release some of my frustration and fear.
He looked up in surprise, and then tucked a bookmark in and put down his novel. "Elaborate," he suggested.
"Tonight--the dinner party at Lady Ann's was a surprise engagement party," I told him. "Duo was there, with Milliardo."
"Fuck." Wufei closed his eyes, mirroring my pain. "I take it he didn't realize it was a surprise to you."
I shook my head. "What should I do, 'Fei?" I was near tears, swallowing to quell the ache in my throat. "I can't lose him."
I truly love Wufei. He didn't scold, lecture, or tease. He merely threw an arm across my shoulders, letting me lean into him. "Call him and apologize."
"I-I tried. He got angry--and so did I. He said goodbye."
"Fuck 'goodbye.' Call him and apologize," Wufei repeated. "Keep doing it until he listens."
I looked at him in surprise, blinking back the moisture in my eyes.
"Yuy--I've known you a long time. And I have never seen you as--alive--as in the past few weeks. You need him. Swallow your goddamned pride and call him."
"But I still have to tell my parents--and Relena--that I'm--that the wedding's off for good."
"We'll deal with that the minute we get back from this trip," he promised.
"We?"
"Yes, Yuy. We. I'm your best friend. I will get you through this if I have to carry you." His onyx eyes glimmered with determination. "We'll have plenty of time at the hotel to draw up a plan. Meanwhile...call him." He shoved his cell phone into my hand.
I automatically started to dial it, and then looked questioningly at him. "Are you going to listen?"
"Of course. I have to make sure you don't screw this up," he said, with comfortingly wry humor.
I dialed Duo's apartment, hoping he was there and that Milliardo wasn't. But I got the answering machine, so I couldn't tell either way. I glanced at Wufei as the message droned on. "It's the machine..."
"Leave a message," he ordered firmly. "Beg if you have to."
"'Fei--"
"Do it!"
I waited for the beep, and then took a deep breath. "Duo...it's me, Heero. I just...I'm sorry about tonight, okay? I didn't know it was an engagement party until Relena and I were on our way there. Lady Ann planned it without our permission. God, Duo--I'd never have kept something like that from you. If I'd decided to go through with the wedding, you would have been the first to know. I swear." I drew another breath, wondering if Duo was in bed with Milliardo even as I spoke. The thought of him touching Mill the way he'd touched me just about killed me. "Please..." I rasped hoarsely, my voice ragged with emotion. "Don't do something stupid just to get back at me. Mill still isn't good enough for you. I'm pretty sure I don't know anyone who is. And don't go getting drunk or anything...not because of me. I can't stand to be responsible for that." I took another breath to steady myself. "I love you. Whether you believe me or not, I do. When I get back from this trip, can we please talk? Please?" My voice finally cracked on the last word, and I hastily ended the call, drawing a hand across my eyes as I handed the phone back to Wufei. "Was that okay?"
"It was perfect," he said reassuringly. "Now just have faith that he feels as much for you as you do for him, and we'll do whatever it takes to fix things."
I nodded, too emotionally drained to do any more thinking at that point. And when the time came for our flight, Wufei lived up to his promise from three days earlier, making sure I did, indeed, sleep on the plane.
TBC...
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