Duo's POV
The Wedding Planner Part 50
Enlightenment
Staying at Quatre's was probably one of the smarter moves I'd ever made. If I'd been at my place, and Heero showed up, I knew damned well I'd have ended up in bed with him again. Who wouldn't want what he had to offer?
The trouble was, I wanted a lot more than that. I wanted him for keeps. And knowing how impossible that was--how many people would have to be hurt for it to happen--I just couldn't envision it.
So I buried myself in work, hiding out at Quatre's when I wasn't working, and dialing in to check my answering machine at my apartment. Not that I really thought Heero would show up; but it was better for me not to take the chance until I felt a little stronger.
I didn't doubt that he wanted more of what we'd had the other night. But I'd worked so hard to push him away that I didn't want to spoil it by running into him too soon. In a couple of weeks, when I'd had some time to get my feet back under me, I might be able to see him without melting into his arms. Right? Um, right?
Anyhow, when Quatre told me Heero was at The Circus drinking himself under the table I felt a pang of guilt. Of course it was undeserved; one of the first things I learned in rehab was that if you go off on a drinking binge you've got no one to blame but yourself.
Still, I felt a bit responsible for Heero. Maybe I should have at least talked to him. But I couldn't do that and keep it casual. There was no way for us to be "just friends" as long as I was thinking he might become available.
Of course, there was no graceful way to make that happen, unless Relena suddenly ran off with her old boyfriend. Hey--a guy can dream, y'know! Barring that lucky happenstance, Heero and I were just shit out of luck.
I wondered if it even occurred to him what would happen to my reputation if word got out that I stole Relena Peacecraft's groom. It's for damned sure my wedding planning days would be over.
Not that I didn't think having Heero would be ample compensation for a trivial thing like a career. He was so worth it. But I couldn't tell him that and let him throw away his whole life. He had to figure out for himself that his perfect life was empty without real love in it, and he had to realize all on his own that Relena could never give him that.
I was still unclear on how that realization could translate into a future for him and me. But I wanted it to. I wanted it so badly I could taste it.
And that's exactly why when Quatre told me Heero was at The Circus I called Wufei to go after him. If I'd done it, we'd have ended up back at my place in bed. I had no doubt of that. So I dialed a friend of Quatre's at the phone company and sweet-talked the Chinese man's phone number out of her. Then I had a blast teasing him with it. If I hadn't been so worried about Heero, I might've really enjoyed myself.
As it was, I drove down to The Circus, just in time to see Wufei usher Heero out. Opting for discretion being the better part of valor, I waited in the Jag until Wufei started his car. But the minute he shifted it into gear, I slipped out and went to say hello to Trowa while I was in the neighborhood.
He just shook his head when he saw me. "Don't even ask for vodka, Maxwell. Quatre gave orders."
"I'm not here for a drink, handsome. I just came to hit on the cute bartender and steal a handful of peanuts." I slid onto a barstool that was still a little warm, watching as Trowa cleared the glasses away. "Hey!" I snatched the cocktail napkins before he tossed them in the trash, having noticed my name printed in neat block letters. "What the hell?"
Trowa eyed the napkins as I smoothed them onto the freshly-cleaned counter. "Your boyfriend's a doodler," he noted with a smirk.
"He's not my--" I stopped, raising a quick glare to the good-looking bartender. "Whatever." My gaze was drawn once again to the two napkins with lists written on them.
My name was on the left, and Relena's was on the right; each with a column of words underneath that looked like some sort of comparison. At the top of both lists was the word "beautiful," and I found myself grinning. I looked up as Trowa brought over a fresh bowl of nuts and started reading upside down. "He thinks I'm beautiful."
Trowa's attempt to hide a smirk failed miserably. "Yeah, but he thinks she is, too."
"'Impetuous.' Is that good or bad?" I wondered aloud.
"Depends on your point of view."
"Well, if you were a sensible, responsible computer geek, would you consider it a flaw, or a good thing?"
Trowa shrugged. "I'm not a computer geek, so I have no idea. Personally, I like impetuous people."
I flashed him a warm smile. "Thanks, Tro'."
"Any time."
I kept reading, frowning at some of the words scrawled on the napkins. "Well 'silly' can't possibly be good, can it?"
"Um, no. But 'daring' is. And so's 'charming.'"
"But Relena's 'sensible, smart, diplomatic,' and 'organized,'" I pointed out, feeling a sinking in my gut. "He's still trying to decide what he wants in a lover, isn't he?"
"Looks that way," admitted the green-eyed man, his expression softening a bit. "He put 'fascinating' and 'clever' down for you, too, y'know."
"I don't think that's enough to override 'adored by parents,' though." I pushed the little bowl of nuts away, suddenly losing my appetite.
Trowa turned one of the little napkins around, looking at it with a scowl. "I think this said 'sexy', Duo. Not 'silly'," he pointed out. "See where a water drop blurred it a bit?"
"It doesn't matter," I said listlessly. "I can't compete with Relena's list. All the things he put down under her name are things that fit his perfect life. Being 'spontaneous' and 'blunt' aren't the kind of qualities Heero would find useful in a life partner."
"Sometimes what's useful isn't what you want," Trowa said firmly, catching and holding my gaze. "Jesus, Duo...if I wrote that list, I'd be all over the person on the left. He sounds a lot more exciting and passionate than a 'sensible, organized' person. You can't look at those lists out of context. You don't know what he was trying to do."
He was right. I didn't. While it looked like Heero was trying to itemize the things he found noteworthy about Relena and me, I honestly couldn't tell exactly what he was looking for. Maybe he did want excitement instead of order and routine. But it was hard to convince myself that the things he'd penciled under my name were positive traits. I'd been told before that I was too reckless and impulsive. And being blunt wasn't the best way to win friends and influence people. More often than not, it just got me into trouble. He might as well have summed it all up with the word "trouble" with a capital "T."
"He was drunk," Trowa added helpfully. "And he was stressing out about what to do next. You can't blame him for trying to put it into some kind of order. He was probably trying to organize his thoughts."
I nodded, somewhat reassured. "He does seem to like certainty in his life. This whole messed up situation has gotta be eating him up inside."
"Like it's done to you?"
I fiddled with the edge of a napkin. "Am I a total bastard for wanting someone else's fiancé, Tro'?"
He chuckled quietly. "As long as it's not mine--"
I darted him a sharp look. "You--did you and Quatre--? You didn't ask him to--?"
Trowa nodded. "He said 'yes,' too."
I dove across the bar to hug Quatre's fiancé, drawing startled looks from a few patrons as Trowa tried to pry me off.
"Shit, Maxwell! Down boy! C'mon--leggo before you start people talking!"
I released my death grip on Trowa's neck, but planted a big smooch right on his lips before I scrambled back to my bar stool. "Congratulations!"
He put a hand over his mouth a bit too late, and his eyes widened. "Jeeze--if I knew you were going to react like that, I'd have made Quatre tell you."
"Hey! Yeah. How come the sneaky little bugger didn't tell me?"
Trowa looked a little uneasy. "He probably meant to, but got sidetracked when he saw your not-boyfriend getting sloshed. Um--maybe you could pretend to be surprised when he does tell you?"
I grinned evilly. "What's it worth to you?"
"Duo--"
Much as I'd have enjoyed tormenting Trowa, I was too elated by the news to keep going. "Aw, don't worry, Tro'. I'll let Quatre think he's surprised me when he blurts it out."
"I'd appreciate that."
I had folded the little cocktail napkins into small squares by then, and ended up tucking them into a pocket. "I may as well head back to the penthouse and give him the chance to make his big announcement," I sighed, not wanting to dwell on my own insecurities at a momentous time like that. "You coming over tonight?"
"As soon as my shift ends in a couple of hours."
"Good. We can have a little celebration." I squirmed restlessly on the stool. "Maybe I should go back to my apartment tomorrow--let you and Quatre have his place to yourselves," I offered. "I'm sure I'm in the way."
"You're never in the way," Trowa insisted. "Quatre loves you like a brother, y'know."
"I know."
"So do I."
I looked sharply at him, and he nodded as if to reinforce his words. Blinking hastily to hide the rush of moisture to my eyes, I gave him a very genuine smile. "Thanks."
We had our party that night, and the first thing Saturday morning, I headed back to my apartment to settle back into my life. I couldn't very well hide out at Quatre's forever, and I was reasonably sure the engaged couple valued their alone time no matter how much they insisted I wasn't in the way.
~*~
It felt good to be back home, and I spent most of the day airing the place out and enjoying the fresh sea breeze that blew in the open windows. I'll admit that in a moment of weakness I took the pillowcase that still smelled like Heero's cologne and buried my face in it. But the fact that I then put it in a ziplock bag and stuffed it into my sock drawer for safekeeping, did not mean I was obsessed. Really.
I made myself a sandwich for lunch, returned a few phone calls, and curled up in an armchair next to my eight-foot giraffe to read the end of a murder mystery I'd left unfinished weeks before.
When the phone rang in the early evening, I checked for Heero's number, and was surprised to see Milliardo's instead. "Maxwell here."
"Duo! I'm glad I got hold of you," came the pleased response.
Milliardo's voice was as smooth as his manners and looks, and I easily fell into the harmless flirting we'd done before. "Really? What's a gorgeous art dealer like you want with little old me?"
"I have a party to attend tomorrow evening, and I was hoping you'd accompany me."
"As your date?"
"As a friend," he said quickly. "You're educated, witty, charming, and frankly, you'd look really, really good on my arm."
I chuckled. "I'm still not very available, Mill," I cautioned.
"I have no intention of making anything romantic out of this," he assured me. "But I know for a fact a couple of my exes are going to be there, and it would just kill them to see me with you."
"So I'm just a trophy date?"
He laughed quietly. "You're good company, or I'd simply attend the damned thing alone. I really wish Lady Ann had skipped my name on the list. But since I'm invited, I really have to go. Can't miss my own sister's engagement party."
My brain froze for a long, breathless moment. "Engagement party?"
"Yes," he sighed, apparently missing the pause in my reply. "Come to think of it, you probably already knew about it, what with being the wedding planner. So what do you say, Duo? Will you salvage my evening for me?"
I almost said "no." I almost screamed at him that I'd rather die than attend Heero and Relena's engagement party. And I very nearly threw the phone out my third-story window...along with myself.
"Sure, Mill," I heard my voice say in a very calm manner. "I take it tuxedoes are required?"
"See why I adore you?" Milliardo crooned. "I don't have to instruct you on how to dress for an occasion. You are just too perfect, Duo. Shall I pick you up at six?"
"In the Rolls? I'd love it."
"Six it is. And thank you," he sighed. "You truly will make a long, boring evening bearable."
"See you at six." I hung up the phone and stared blankly at the wall. Heero and Relena were having an engagement party.
That would seem to indicate they hadn't broken up. In fact, it would strongly suggest Heero had every intention of going through with the marriage, in spite of his assertion that he was just waiting for the right way to end things with Relena.
And the fucker hadn't told me?
Well, fuck him.
I headed for my closet on auto-pilot, taking my best tuxedo out and hanging it on the back of the bedroom door, while I selected shoes, socks, and accessories for it. If I had to stand beside Milliardo and congratulate the man I loved on his engagement to a woman he claimed to not love, I was damned well gonna look good doing it. If only to spite him!
~*~
Milliardo was prompt; I'll give him that. He showed up at my door at the stroke of six, and he looked absolutely mouth-watering. With his long, platinum hair gleaming balefully against the black of his tuxedo, he cut a fine figure.
His ice-blue eyes swept me with an appreciative look. "Perfect," he said with a devilish smile. "You'll have both of my exes mad enough to chew nails."
I grinned right back at him, wishing my chest didn't feel quite so tight with dread. "If you like, I'll make sure to keep a hand on your ass when we dance."
He groaned quietly. "Like it? I'd love it. You know that."
Yeah, I knew I could pretty much do whatever I wanted to the handsome art dealer, and he'd reciprocate happily. But when I tried to picture him in my bed the way Heero had been, I couldn't. I wanted Heero. Only Heero.
Milliardo held out an arm, and I took it, letting him usher me graciously down the stairs and out to the gleaming Rolls Royce.
When we arrived at Lady Ann's place, she positively gushed over Milliardo. And when he introduced me as the genius who arranged for Heero and Relena to have their reception at Romefeller, she beamed in delight.
"I can't wait for the big event!"
"None of us can," Milliardo said politely, steering me carefully away from the hostess and into the very posh ballroom. He leaned closer as we walked, pointing out various noteworthy guests. "That's the ambassador from France over there, Jean-Luc something. And with him is his wife Antoinette." He nodded to them and then indicated a petite blonde woman a short distance away. "The pretty little wench there is Gabrielle, his mistress by all accounts...and her husband Henri de Beaufort is probably already half-drunk and groping their chauffeur, Pierre."
I couldn't help it. I chuckled at his commentary, giving him a sideways glance. "Are you making this up, Mill?"
"Absolutely not, Duo. I haven't the imagination to come up with so much drama."
True enough, I decided. Should I give him yet another tidbit of gossip by telling him I was Heero's paramour? That thought made me laugh again, and I got a slightly puzzled look from my "date."
"Aw, it's nothing," I assured him. "I guess I'll just never understand these society folks."
"You don't want to," he said fervently. "How about a drink?"
I sighed a little at that, my most recent promise to Quatre very fresh in my mind. "I swore off the stuff some time ago, Mill," I told him frankly. "But if they've got any non-alcoholic refreshment, I'm up for that."
"Ah." He seemed to catch on quickly. "That's right. You said you didn't keep liquor at your place." One elegant eyebrow lifted slightly. "I take it there's a story behind that."
"A long, embarrassing one," I admitted.
"Then say no more," came the gracious response. "I'll find you something benign to drink." He leaned in so that his lips nearly brushed my cheek. "That way you can't say I got you drunk and took advantage of you."
I couldn't help the reflexive shiver that the warm breath on my face caused. But at the same time, I felt no sexual response. I didn't know whether to be glad for that, or angry. I settled on angry.
Damn Heero anyway! He had to fucking spoil me for anyone else, and then go ahead and marry his goddamned princess! I wished I could stop loving him long enough to hate him. But I had a feeling that was going to take a hellishly long time.
And meanwhile, Milliardo absolutely knocked himself out to make me enjoy myself, feeding me tidbits of information about each person at the party and every scandal associated with them. Honestly, he did a pretty good job of entertaining me, right up until I caught a glimpse of Heero and Relena at the top of the ballroom stairs.
I damn near asked Mill to go fetch me the strongest drink he could find.
But instead, I grabbed his arm and hauled him out to the dance floor for a nice slow number that gave me plenty of opportunity to peek over his shoulder at the man I really loved, without being seen. I needed to brace myself a bit before I'd be ready to go toe to toe with Heero at this soiree.
TBC...
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