Heero's POV
The Wedding Planner Part 23
Insights
Duo met me at the door, looking decidedly nervous. "Hey--I'm glad I caught you."
"Didn't want to be alone with my drunken fiancée?" I teased, giving his outfit a once over and noticing with relief that he was back to his classy, understated work clothes.
He shifted uneasily, and headed down the hallway with me at his heels. "Look, it's just a little awkward. I mean, I hardly know Relena..."
"Hardly know her?" I echoed. "With all the time you've spent together?"
He shrugged, not looking back at me. "All we ever talk about is the wedding. Nothing--personal."
"Like the fact that you're gay?"
His chin lifted stubbornly, and I caught a sideways glance from the indigo eyes. "That only came up today...other than that, we've never talked about anything very private."
"Like your favorite color or whether you've had sex on a beach?" I suggested.
I saw his shoulders lift as he chuckled briefly. Then he looked back at me. "Blue...and yes."
We'd reached the sitting room, and I found Relena passed out on the couch, covered by a thick afghan that was usually folded over the back of it. One arm hung limply over the side, fingers draped over a bowl that Duo had apparently brought in case she had another bout of vomiting.
Sighing, I went and knelt in front of her, carefully pushing the blonde hair back from her face. "Silly girl," I muttered, torn between pity and annoyance. She damn well knew better than to guzzle wine all day. But then, it had always been her weakness. Sighing in her sleep, she shifted and leaned into my hand, mumbling something indiscernible.
I glanced up and caught a strange look from Duo, who was standing with his arms folded across his chest, watching me. He gave an almost apologetic smile and turned away, clearing his throat. "I guess I should leave you two alone--"
"Wait." I stood up and walked over to him. "I-I really owe you for this, Duo. It was nice of you to look after her."
I could have sworn he blushed a little at that, but then he gave that cocky smirk of his. "Hey, I consider it a big favor that you came home to find me with your drunken fiancée and didn't kill me."
I had to laugh at that, knowing there was a time I would have. "Y'see what a little socializing can do towards diffusing misunderstandings?"
"That's my line, Yuy."
"So it is. But I got it first." I glanced back as Relena shifted restlessly on the couch, muttering again, and then she belched loudly.
Both Duo and I burst out laughing, and quickly stepped out into the hallway so as not to wake her.
"Man, there's a lady for you!" Duo blurted between laughs. "Y'have to get her drunk and unconscious before she'll even burp out loud!"
I shook my head. "You have no idea!"
We shared a few moments of companionable laughter before finally sobering up. And when we did, I looked at Duo appraisingly. "So how come you aren't even the least bit tipsy, eh? You said you both went wine-tasting."
His dark eyes were half-lidded, so I couldn't read his expression. "Thinking I got her drunk to take advantage of her?" he asked quietly--warily.
"No!" I said in exasperation. "I already know better than that! I just figured you might've had a bit too much as well, and I was going to offer you a place to sleep it off. There's at least a dozen guest rooms in this place."
"Oh." He looked up at me then, that wry smile back in place. "Yeah, well, for one thing, I was the designated driver. We gave Pargan the day off and took the Jag." He cleared his throat a bit uncomfortably. "Plus, I gave it up after rehab."
Oh, fuck, did I feel stupid! Of course he'd have stopped drinking after it landed him in jail and then rehab. I just hadn't thought it through. I mean, I knew his background...I knew about the treatment for depression and alcohol abuse. And then I went and asked him a stupid, insensitive thing like why wasn't he drunk too.
"I'm a fucking moron, Duo," I said flatly. "I should've known that."
He laughed and shook his head. "Why would you know that?" he asked.
"Because of Wufei's snooping," I reminded him.
"Yeah? Just because I was on the wagon doesn't mean I couldn't have fallen off again." He gave a nonchalant shrug. "But after all Quatre's done for me, the least I can do is keep my promise to stay sober."
"What were you drinking at The Circus?" I asked out of idle curiosity.
"Just some fruity juice mixture Trowa threw together." He rolled those expressive eyes. "Club soda gets fucking boring after awhile."
"I suppose so." I glanced at the hall clock, and his gaze followed mine.
"Yeah, I guess I should get going. You've got to take care of 'Lena, and still catch your plane."
I nodded.
"Need any help?"
"No, I'll manage. There's a couple of emergency numbers for the staff. I can probably reach Walter with no problem. He and Milly live in the guest house just down the road."
"That's good. Convenient." Duo turned towards the door with a mumbled "good night," but then paused and turned back. "When you get back from your trip, d'you think maybe you could help us pick out your wedding cake?" He didn't quite look at me as he asked, but kept his eyes slightly averted; he looked almost--shy.
I felt an irrepressible smile touch the corners of my mouth. "You want me to start expressing opinions again, eh?"
He nodded earnestly, raising his gaze to meet mine. "I'd like it if you came with Relena and me. She shouldn't make all the decisions alone, 'Ro."
"I won't let her," I said firmly, pleased by the way Duo's face lit up at my response.
"Good! And maybe after we have a cake-tasting field trip, we can stop by Howie's for ice cream again."
I didn't even have to think about my answer. "I'd love to!"
With a flash of a grin, Duo slipped out the door, and I turned back to the study to go check on my sloshed and slumbering fiancée.
She was fine...snoring loudly enough to shake the rafters, but fine.
~*~
It took me hours to get hold of Walter, but he and Milly agreed to come take over the care of their "indisposed" employer, freeing me to head for the airport barely in time to meet Wufei.
I checked my single suitcase and made it through security as the flight was already boarding, and when I dashed up to the gate, Wufei was pacing by the ticket counter.
"Where the hell have you been, Yuy?" he growled, shoving his boarding pass into the flight attendant's hand, and glaring at me as she checked him in.
"I had to go out to Relena's. She had a bit too much to drink while sampling wine for the reception," I muttered, scowling back.
"She got drunk with the gorgeous wedding planner?" he asked with a thoroughly snide smirk, regaining his humor at my expense.
"Duo doesn't drink," I said absently, passing my ticket to the attendant, and then following my co-worker onto the plane.
He glanced over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised. "What was that stuff he guzzled last night then?"
"Fruit punch, mostly."
"And you know this how?"
"He told me. When I went to the estate to pick up the pieces."
He shoved his carry-on into the rack above our seats and turned to me with a suspicious look. "You went out to Relena's place and found her drunk, with the wedding planner, who was sober..."
I nodded, eyeing him questioningly.
A slightly alarmed expression crossed his face. "Are you fleeing the country to avoid prosecution, Yuy?"
"What?"
"You didn't leave a dead body behind, did you?" he asked in a quieter voice.
I didn't even crack a smile at that. Instead, I glared so hard I thought (well, hoped) it would scorch him. "I did not kill the wedding planner," I said flatly.
"Maim him?" asked my annoyingly droll friend, sliding into the window seat and looking up at me innocently.
"I didn't harm him in any way."
"Did you--?"
"I didn't touch him--okay?" I snarled, throwing myself into the seat next to Wufei, and jamming my seatbelt on. The plane's engines revved up, and we began taxiing down the runway.
He sat in silence for a moment, though I could see various thoughts running through his mind, reflected by the growing twinkle in the dark eyes. "I suppose I can guess why," he said at last.
"Guess why what?"
"Why you wouldn't touch him...afraid you might not be able to stop?" By this time he was smirking irrepressibly.
"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Just--a couple of times last night you looked at him like--" He paused, shaking his head. "Never mind."
But I couldn't leave well enough alone at that point. "What are you suggesting, Chang?"
He sighed, then turned a troubled look my way. "I've always been honest with you, haven't I?"
"Of course," I ground out, not liking the tone of the conversation.
Wufei and I hadn't talked since the previous night's outing, and I knew he had opinions he was dying to express. Some of the looks he'd given me during Maxwell's grilling had been downright unsettling. I felt vaguely guilty, and I couldn't figure out why. I'd done absolutely nothing wrong...nothing improper. And yet, Chang had me feeling like he was about to put me under a worse microscope than Maxwell had.
"Well..." he murmured, his onyx eyes fixing a gaze on me that made me feel like a butterfly pinned in a display. "It seemed to me that you were, well, attracted to Maxwell."
"Are you insane?!"
"Not at all. Just very, very observant."
"And your keen powers of observation lead you to believe I'm interested in Duo Maxwell?" I demanded sarcastically. "What the hell made you think that?"
"Well, mostly the way you were staring at him, Yuy."
"I generally look at people when I talk to them, Chang," I retorted coldly.
"You weren't looking...you were staring," Wufei corrected me. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were undressing him with your eyes."
After a moment of flat-out gaping at him, I found my voice. "It's hard not to stare at someone dressed in slinky leather pants and a skin-tight shirt...male or female. And that doesn't mean I'm--"
Wufei held up a hand for silence, looking me square in the eye. "Don't play games with me, Yuy. Just tell me straight-out that you aren't even a little attracted to Maxwell, and I'll never say another word about it."
"I'm not even a little attracted to Maxwell," I lied smoothly, glaring at him.
"You called him gorgeous."
"He is."
"You told him he looked nice."
"He did."
"And every time he mentioned sex, you turned beet-red."
"I did not!"
Wufei snorted deprecatingly. "Do you mean to tell me you weren't even a little turned-on by him?"
"You said you'd never say another word about it."
"I lied."
"He's a guy, for God's sake, 'Fei!" I blurted angrily.
"And gay, which means the way he was looking at you meant more than just friendly interest, too."
"I'm not gay, Chang."
He shrugged noncommittally. "Denial is a wonderful thing, Yuy." He shook his head slightly. "I can't believe it never occurred to me before. Your relationship with Relena has always been proper and, well, almost calculated. There was never any real passion or lust that showed to an outside observer. Now I think I know why."
I could feel absolute fury building. "Are you suggesting I'm not in love with Relena? Because if you are--"
"Of course you 'love' Relena. But I'm not sure you lust after her."
"Meaning?"
He looked uncertain for the first time in our conversation. "I'm not sure what it means."
I resisted the urge to throttle him...first for suggesting I showed anything beyond polite, friendly interest in Duo, and secondly for suggesting I was more attracted to him than I was to Relena. "It doesn't mean anything," I growled, allowing an angry edge to my voice.
"What doesn't?"
"That I'm not 'crazy in love' with Relena." Oh, fuck! Did I just say that out loud? And worse, did I just use the exact words Duo had used when he talked about his fiancés? Shit, damn, and motherfuck!
Wufei's expression changed just slightly. I thought I saw a trace of satisfaction, tinged with pity. "So you finally admit it," he said quietly.
"Admit what?!" I snapped harshly.
"That you aren't really in love with Relena."
I opened my mouth to argue that I was head over heels for her, but facing the calm, almost serene expression on his face, I found myself unable to lie. Instead, I looked across the aisle, idly watching a little kid sitting with his mother, engrossed in a coloring book.
After a few moments the whirl of thoughts in my head settled into something a bit more coherent, and I turned a much calmer gaze to Wufei. "Just because I'm not madly in love with Relena doesn't mean I'm interested in someone else, especially a male 'someone else,'" I said, proud of the fact that it didn't come out sounding defensive. "And it doesn't mean that marrying her isn't the right thing to do." I forced myself to meet his steady, searching gaze. "There are more reasons than love or lust to get married, 'Fei. There's the fact that I'm twenty-five, and it's about time I settled down. And Relena and I have been dating a long time; we're very compatible, most of the time."
"That sounds like her words, Yuy. Not yours."
"My parents adore her."
"Your parents aren't marrying her," Wufei pointed out.
"They may as well be," I said dryly. "I'm their only child, and they expect me to carry on the Yuy name."
Wufei shook his head. "I'm all for respecting your ancestors, Yuy. But you also have to think of your own needs."
"And you think I need something other than Relena?"
He sighed deeply. "I don't know what you need, and I'm not sure you do, either."
"Then stop acting like you have all the answers!" I said curtly.
"I'm not," he said somberly, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "Honestly, Yuy...when I started this conversation, I was mainly intending to tease and torment you a bit. But frankly, it's raised questions in my mind--and I hope, in yours."
"Questions," I echoed, wanting to just close my eyes and forget the whole, stupid conversation. The last thing I needed was more questions about my feelings for Relena. I already knew there were elements lacking in our relationship. I'd resigned myself to living with those shortfalls in order to move forward in my life. I could handle Relena's past infidelity, her fondness for big parties and social events, and her somewhat self-absorbed nature. She was smart, and pretty, and when she wanted to be--very charming. We enjoyed the same music and art, and lived very compatible lives. There was no reason to go searching for some elusive concept of "love" or "passion," when I had a practical, sensible partner. Was there?
TBC...
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