Author's Note: This fits with chapter forty four and forty five of Witness.
Diary of a Protected Witness Part 33
Respite
Well, the day after my big heart to heart with Chang, I woke with my foot throbbing dully, but the rest of me still relaxed and sated from the thorough fucking Heero'd given me the night before.
Not that I didn't try to tempt him into a little morning romp, but he was in full-on "cop" mode and wanting to get back to guarding my life, instead of indulging my whims.
I'd have to work on that later.
But meanwhile, I got distracted by a visit from Trowa! God, I can't tell ya how great it was to see him--to know for sure that he was alive and well--to be able to touch and hug him.
An' it was kind of fun to see the teasing and mock jealousy that went on between him an' 'Ro, too. Heero was a riot, with his gun in his hand, bein' all macho and protective, and Trowa played it up for all he was worth, looking over my shoulder and smirking devilishly at my lover while I was hugging the stuffing out of him.
They were too cute!
"Aw, 'Ro," I chided, slipping into his arms even more eagerly than Trowa's. "No contest, love. I'm all yours. Forever."
I meant it, too.
Of course, I quickly got distracted by Tro's mention of my poor, departed motorcycle. My sleek, badass baby! Apparently it took a header into a ravine and went out in a pretty spectacular blaze of glory--which, while heartbreaking, was kinda fitting for such a fine ride.
I used to want to go out that way, too. But since hooking up with Heero, the idea of growing old together wasn't quite so repugnant any more. I could see us spending a lifetime together--having some great times--and then just hanging out and being content in each other's company as we aged.
I gotta say, thinking like that was totally weird for me. I'd never really expected to make it past puberty. Hitting twenty was a pretty big milestone for me--and I hadn't even considered thirty, prior to Heero. Go figure.
At any rate, Trowa and I traded stories of how we'd escaped from the thugs sent after us by Khushrenada, and I think we managed to keep everyone pretty well entertained in the process.
I noticed that Heero kept a close eye on us, and there was an occasional trace of what almost looked like jealousy that crossed his face. But he did an amazing job of hiding it.
I was so glad. One of the biggest hurdles for Zechs and me had been that he couldn't handle the closeness Trowa and I shared. He'd tried to, for my sake. But it was pretty obvious there was no way he'd ever include Trowa in our life together. Hell, he'd never even once let me drag him along to a movie, even when I knew it was one Tro' would've loved.
I'd always had to juggle both relationships. And I'd been (and still was) damned determined that I wouldn't sacrifice what I had with Trowa for anyone. But I knew if Zechs and I had succeeded in going away together, it would've been nearly impossible for me to keep in touch with old friends like Trowa--or even Father Maxwell and the kids at the orphanage.
Much as I'd liked the notion of the two of us running off to start a new life--there were aspects of my old life I didn't really want to leave behind. I can't help but wonder how that all would've played out, had Zechs lived.
Anyhow, while I had Trowa at hand, I slipped back to my room and gathered up my sketchbook of pictures I'd done of Heero, Wufei, and places we'd been in our journey. Then I dragged Tro' out onto the breezeway for a little private time.
He knew--the bastard always knew when I had something on my mind.
"What've ya got?"
I handed him the sketchbook. "I'd kinda like you to hang onto this for me, if you would."
He lifted the cover, and carefully glanced through a couple of the pages. "Is it all full?"
I shook my head. "But at the rate things have been going, I doubt I'll be able to hang onto it. And I don't want to lose some of those memories, y'know?"
He smiled in understanding. "'Course I know."
"You're in there," I told him. "Those sketches I did of you in the henna..."
"I remember those," he grinned.
"And there's some of this trip, and Heero and Wufei."
"You afraid maybe they won't make it and these pictures are all you'll have to remember them?"
I shrugged. "Maybe that's part of it. And maybe I want to know that if I don't make it, you'll have something to give them from me, y'know?"
Trowa's glare could've put Heero's to shame. "Don't talk about not making it, Duo! You will get through this, dammit!"
His vehemence sort of took me by surprise. I mean, I knew he loved me dearly; but I'd thought we both understood that I was facing kind of long odds.
"Jeeze, I'm not givin' up or anything, Tro'!" I said hastily. "I'm just being realistic here. I can't very well haul along a sketchbook and shit when we keep jumping from place to place. And it's not like I'll have a lot of time to draw, anyway." I found my fingers idly tracing one of the lines on the page. "These are some special memories, an' I'd like you to keep 'em safe for me. That's all."
"You know I will," he assured me. "I just don't like hearing you talk like there's no hope left."
"I've got hope," I asserted. "But that doesn't mean I can't make provisions--just in case." I thought back to the note I'd left with Howard, and the will I'd had Quatre draw up for me before I started out on my road trip.
"Well, when this is all over, I'll have your sketchbook tucked away safe and sound for you, okay?" he offered, trying to smile for my benefit.
"Thanks," I said simply.
I had another sketchbook with me--a blank one I could use if time permitted--but I felt better knowing my drawings of Zechs and Heero and Wufei would be in a safer place than my much-used duffel bag.
"So--how's things with you and Quatre?" I asked next, deftly changing the subject to one that had been weighing on my mind a bit.
Trowa's eyes lit up with a truly dreamy look. "Duo--I--I don't even know how to describe it," he sighed. "He makes me feel--like I've never felt before."
I felt my lips curve in a smile, even as my heart gave a tiny twinge of pain. "I'm glad," I said, without a trace of regret in my voice.
Those green eyes studied my face. "Really?" he asked kind of breathlessly.
I nodded. "You deserve the best." I meant it, too. He did.
He blushed and ducked his head; he'd always been more modest than he had a right to be. "Not sure anyone will ever compare to you," he whispered.
"You either," I agreed, taking his hand and enjoying the familiar warmth of his fingers. "We've had something special for a long, long time. But the way you feel for Quat--the way I feel about 'Ro--it's stronger, isn't it?"
He nodded. "It's downright amazing." Again those too-sharp eyes pinned me with a searching gaze. "You didn't really have that with Zechs, did you?"
"I thought I did," I admitted. "He was good to me--and good for me. But it wasn't like this." I gave a tiny shrug, and a tilt of my head towards Heero in the kitchen. "This feels right, Tro'. Like you said."
His smile was warm and genuine. "Yeah."
"Just--" I couldn't help a lingering concern for his welfare. "Be careful, will ya? I'd hate for a smooth-talking lawyer to sweep you off your feet and--not live up to expectations."
"He's already exceeded them," Trowa assured me. "We've talked about what we want for the future--the things we'd like to be doing in our careers and our lives. And it sounds like it could work out--the two of us together. He said he's never found anyone like me before--that I'm the most fascinating and exciting guy he ever dated."
"I can attest to that," I quipped with a smirk. "Don't you ever sell yourself short, Trowa Barton. You are a catch!"
"Yeah, that's a good word for it. I'm caught, all right." He smiled wistfully. "Hook, line and sinker."
"And you've got a gorgeous blonde god in your net, too," I reminded him. "Treat him good, love?"
"I intend to."
"And if he ever, ever lets you down, you know I'll be right there to kick his ass."
Actually, that was a totally empty promise; neither of us knew for sure where I'd end up when all was said and done. But we pretended anyway.
"I know you will. And the same goes for you and Yuy."
I nodded, wondering if there was any way I could realistically expect to hang onto Heero throughout the trial and my relocation. I mean, once we got back to the city, he'd have cop stuff to do while I was testifying against Khushrenada. And I'd most likely be whisked off into relocation at the trial's conclusion, without even having a chance to contact him.
"Don't obsess about it," came a quiet voice, accompanied by a squeeze from that warm hand. "Yuy's nuts about you. It'll all work out."
"Sure."
We both lapsed into silence at that point, leaning against one another and simply enjoying the closeness and comfort. All the talking in the world wouldn't take away the uncertainty we were both dealing with; but a few moments of peaceful companionship helped still the worries for awhile.
At any rate, to get back to the story, while Trowa and I were on the back porch having our little heart to heart, I noticed that Heero had busied himself in the kitchen, deliberately making enough noise to prevent any eavesdropping on his part--and I just wanted to grin my fool head off. He was so fuckin' sweet!
I knew he was going out of his way to give us space and not hover, and it just made me love the bastard even more.
Like I said, Zechs' jealous nature had been difficult to tolerate. Heero, on the other hand, while just as possessive of me, all but killed himself to tamp down the jealousy. It was as if he knew it'd only make things harder for me.
He must've heard that saying about "if you love something, set it free," and he was taking it to heart.
Funny thing was, it helped him win my heart.
When Trowa and I came in from the porch, I went straight to Heero and just wrapped myself around him. "Don't think I didn't notice," I told him, wanting to communicate just how much I'd appreciated the private time he gave me and my best friend.
I think the deep, thorough kiss I gave him got the message across pretty well.
If that didn't, then the muffled "--love you--" I mumbled into the front of his shirt a few moments later probably did. Not that I'd repeat it when he asked--because I really did feel like it was a jinx for me--but I was pretty sure he'd heard it the first time.
And I meant it with every fiber of my being. If I hadn't fallen for him because of his killer blue eyes, I'd have fallen for the strong, assured personality--tempered by compassion and warmth.
Yeah, bet ya didn't know Heero Yuy was just brimming with warmth. But the way he'd assured me Quatre loved Trowa as much as he loved me, just made me toasty all over. Toasty enough to nearly blurt out the words I'd sworn never to say out loud again.
And I think he knew how difficult that was for me.
"I love you, Duo Maxwell--and whether you ever say it or not, I know you feel the same way about me. I don't need to hear it, until you feel safe in saying it. Okay?"
I sighed, feeling the tension just drain out of my whole body. "C'n we go sack out on the couch awhile? I'm beat."
I swear, I'd never have made it to the trial if it hadn't been for the strength that Heero just poured into me. When I needed discipline, he could be stern. When I needed a shoulder to lean on, he was strong enough to support the weight of the world. When I needed my fears laid to rest, his steady, soothing voice always seemed to say the right words.
He was fuckin' everything to me--and I wondered how the hell that had happened.
OWARI
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