Author's Note: This fits with chapters twenty-six and twenty-seven of Witness.
Diary of a Protected Witness Part 20
Sweet Surprise
I took my time in that shower, not really caring about whatever surprise Yuy and Chang had cooked up. I figured it was probably some ancient Chinese dessert that the slanty-eyed cop decided to make as part of his apology for stepping all over my feelings.
If either of them really wanted to make me feel better--a nice hot make-out session might've done the trick.
At any rate, I cranked up the music and let it wash over me along with the hot water, while I tried not to think about Heero, and the conflicting feelings he brought out in me.
I mean, Zechs had only been dead a couple of weeks, and I'd let a cop fuck me. Let him? Hell, I'd forced him.
Okay--he met me halfway--even if it boiled down to seduction at gunpoint. Maybe I could call it coercive persuasion?
Anyhow, to get back to the point, I was still trying to pin down the reasons I was so obsessed with Heero. I mean, sure, the blue eyes were amazing--deeper than the color of twilight--full of depth and thoughts I just couldn't fathom.
But it was more than the eyes.
As I'd told Heero earlier that same morning, part of what I'd found attractive about Zechs was the sheer power the man exuded. And I'm not talkin' about the power that came from having money and lackeys to do your bidding.
Zechs had a presence--a kind of charisma, I guess. When he wanted something, you could just tell he was gonna get it.
And I'd given him a run for his money, I'll tell ya. I didn't fall at his feet because of who he was or what he owned. I made him work for my respect, and just about bend over backwards for my trust.
So--why did I trust Yuy already? I mean, he was a cop, dammit. And I'd never had reason to trust one before; yet I knew almost the moment I met him that he was honest through and through. Weird.
Even Chang, for all his talk of honor and duty, wasn't as patently full of integrity as his partner. He had a mean streak.
Yuy--didn't.
He could be angry, distant, stern, and contemptuous. But those were all honest emotions, honestly expressed; he made no attempt to hide how he felt. And he didn't take the kind of cheap shots Chang did. He may have misunderstood things now an' then--and hurt my feelings because of that--but even when he was harsh with me, I kind of felt it was justified.
I mean--I had tried to pretend the sex was meaningless. It was my own damned fault if he believed that and acted accordingly.
And now that I'd tried to rectify that mistake, and let him know I wished it could be some sort of a beginning, his attitude had changed--softened a bit. I could tell he was trying to understand me, and figure out how to proceed. He was just fumbling at it as badly as I was.
Weren't we quite the pair?
Did it make me an awful person that such a short time after my lover died I was starting to harbor feelings for someone new?
Whoa. Feelings? Time to back up the trolley. Or at least send it off somewhere else until I wanted to deal with the heavy subject matter it was carrying. I mean, attraction isn't the same as affection--obviously, or Yuy never would have been able to screw me senseless when to all appearances he didn't even like me.
But then, if it was nothing more than physical attraction between us, why did I want him to like me?
Oh fuck. I wanted him to like me. I wanted him to have more than just reluctant lust for me.
I was fuckin' doomed.
I managed to calm myself and clear my mind a bit by indulging in that shower for an obscene length of time. And after I'd dried off and donned my jeans, I took my sweet time drying my hair, reveling in the silky texture and idly wishing I could use it to lure Heero close again.
Speak of the devil...
I was combing out my hair when I caught sight of Heero in the hallway, sort of staring at me with an oddly transfixed look on his face.
Can you say "eye candy"?
Yeah, I knew what he was lookin' at. With my hair down and cascading around my shoulders, I was hot. An' that's not bragging.
He looked more embarrassed at being caught looking than I was that he'd seen me singing and dancing while combing out my hair. Damn, he was cute when he was wanting.
Then I glimpsed someone else reach the top of the stairs and turn our way, and my breath caught in my throat.
Trowa.
I'd dropped everything and dashed down that hall and into his arms almost before the hair brush clattered to the floor.
"Tro'--God, I've missed you--" I breathed into his neck, clinging tightly as he stroked my hair and murmured soothingly.
"It's okay now," he said gently. "It'll be okay."
I muffled a sob, swallowing hard. "It's been so fuckin' lonely--"
He lifted my chin and gave me one of those patented "forget your own name" kisses I could swear he'd invented. And I gave it right back with everything I had, realizing how starved for affection I'd been.
Yeah, I know. I'd had sex with Yuy--he'd kissed the breath right out of me. But that had been passion and lust--not love and caring. And right then, I needed genuine affection more than anything.
"Oh for fuck's sake!" came Chang's disgusted voice. He stomped past us and clattered down the stairs bitching to Yuy at the top of his lungs about Tro' an' me makin' out in the hallway.
Fuckin' prude.
In addition to themselves, my rescuers had brought pizza and beer; I swear that was a close second to the hug and kiss from Trowa for bringing me sheer happiness. And the action flick wasn't half-bad either.
Hey, it provided diversion, while I lounged with my head in Trowa's lap, enjoying the long, slim fingers sliding through my hair. Plus, it gave us a chance to demonstrate our talents for our very special audience...and to fuck with the Chinese prude.
He had it coming to him when we did the striptease. He totally asked for it--and we totally delivered.
Granted, my mind was on Heero and I was hoping to rekindle that flame I'd seen in his eyes when he fucked me through the floor of the log cabin.
And I was sure Trowa's thoughts featured a blue-eyed lawyer.
So the dance was for them; pissing off Chang was just a bonus.
I'd always found dancing with Trowa to be both erotic and comfortable. We knew each other's bodies so well, we could move practically as one. Hell, we'd fucked enough that we were practically one.
But for the first time in a long career of performing with Trowa, I found my attention slightly lacking, as I tried to catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eyes to see if Heero was even a little impressed by the show.
He seemed to be; and it was very obvious Quatre was. I noticed the hot blonde lawyer's cheeks were a ruddy pink, and his eyes had an almost glassy sheen to them as my partner and I finished our dance.
And, damn! He was good-looking on a bad day--but with his lips parted and face flushed with lust, he was downright delicious!
I might've felt a passing surge of lust for the pretty attorney, except that I noticed his gaze was focused on Trowa, to the exclusion of all else. Yeah, he had it bad. And unless I'd misread my friend, it was a mutual attraction.
Wouldn't I like to be part of whatever sandwich they wanted to make?
Okay--just for the record--I'd never tried a threesome. But after hanging out with Yuy and Chang, and now Quatre and Trowa--ya can't blame me for considering it. So many hot guys; so little time...
Trouble was, anything that didn't involve Heero Yuy, was less than I wanted from life right then. I'd seen him lose control--seen him with a fire in his eyes that all but consumed me--seen those same eyes half-close in a haze of ecstasy as he came. And I was painfully eager to see it all over again--repeatedly.
Thoughts of those deep blue eyes sort of crowded out any other interests I might have considered a few weeks earlier.
Fuckin' cop. Fuckin' gorgeous, passionate, insatiable cop.
What can I say? I like adjectives. And Heero Yuy, obviously.
I thought from the distracted look on Heero's face that maybe I got through to him--until I slipped up and called him "lover," only to get another brush-off.
Fuck him anyway! There were plenty of guys who'd have been thrilled to have me make the offers I'd made to him. And he still didn't want them.
When I sulked off to bed, I'd have gladly taken anything Trowa offered--but this time it was just a back rub.
Not to say that's a bad thing--Trowa had the most talented hands ever, and could give a back massage that'd make you forget your own name. And right about then, I wanted to forget a whole lot of things.
OWARI
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