Perfect Part 11
Duo awoke instantly, sitting bolt upright in bed. Something was wrong. His gun was in his bag, out of reach. He stayed very still, listening intently. What was it? The spot between his shoulderblades itched. Slowly he laid his hand on Robert's chest.
And with that touch, he knew.
His eyes closed helplessly against the sudden flood of tears. Robert's heart was still. His body had already begun to lose its heat. He rested his head on Robert's shoulder and cried for some time.
"Robert... No... Why now? Just when you had me believing... Aw, shit... Robert..." He stroked the man's face lightly. He would have to go. He couldn't stay any longer. Not when the spirit had flown, leaving only this shell behind.
For just a little while... I loved you... I would have stayed, if you had asked... Be free, Robert. I hope I can see you again...
~*~
Duo walked up the hill from the motel, turning at the summit to look back over the harbor. The same view he'd seen from Robert's room. He opened his phone and dialed 911.
"I'd like to report a death. No, no accident, no murder. Just an ordinary natural-causes, died-in-his-sleep type death." He gave the address and room number. "You don't need my name. Just... just tell them to be respectful." He closed his phone.
"Goodbye Robert. Thank you. Thank you so very much," he said softly to the night sky.
The flashing lights arrived quickly. He sighed and turned and continued down the opposite side of the hill, stepping quickly. He was much too well dressed to be on the streets at this time of night. He slipped through the night like a shadow, hurrying for the safety of his room and the security of a bolted door and his gun under his pillow.
Memory flashes from their night together teased him as he ran silently.
He cared about me... He really did. Why? What did he see? What am I to have drawn him that way? No one ever took so much care over me... Dirty, thieving street rat; dollar a touch and five for a blowjob. Angel he called me... beautiful demon... God... Robert!
Keycard in hand, he bounded across the parking lot, swiped the door and had it opened and closed in an instant.
He almost had time to sigh before he was grabbed from behind. He spun around and brought his gun up, jamming it hard against his assailant's throat as he squeezed the trigger.
"Duo!" The hiss exploded at the same instant he recognized the other's scent.
He froze, whimpering faintly. "Shiiiiit..." he breathed. "He-Heero... Oh, mother..." Gun hand trembling uncontrollably, he had to use his other hand to ease his finger off the trigger and to safety the gun. Heero took it from him, letting go his arms. Duo sank to the carpeted floor, curling into a fetal ball. He shuddered and wept silently.
Heero laid the gun on the table and returned to sit beside Duo, pulling him up into his arms.
"Duo, where have you been? It's almost 0300. You're never this late."
"Don't..." Duo whimpered, hiding his face against Heero's shirt. "Don't yell at me... Not now... Please... I just... can't deal right now..."
Alarmed, Heero's rage began to build. "What happened? Did someone hurt you? Answer me, Duo! What did they do to you?!"
Duo hiccuped and tried to squirm away, but Heero tightened his grip. "Let go... Let GO!" he cried, and Heero released him. "No one hurt me..."
"Then what's wrong? Duo, you're a mess!"
"I know that! He didn't hurt me." He hugged his knees to his chest. Heero waited a beat, then crawled over to lay his arm around Duo's shoulders. "Didn't hurt me at all... All he did was take me to dinner at the best restaurant in town and treat me like a real person and then make love to me." He turned his head away from Heero. "He... made love to me... No one has ever made love to me... He didn't ask for a thing for himself, he only wanted to please me... He -- I've never felt like that before... He told me that I made him very happy... We went to sleep. He wanted to go to sleep with someone in his arms one last time. And then he died in his sleep... In MY arms... Shinigami took him away..." He stifled a sob, hugging himself.
Heero had no idea what to say. He rubbed Duo's back gently. He didn't understand, obviously, why the death of a john would be so upsetting. Those men paid for the privilege of Duo's company, of his body. They used him as they chose and left him, a discarded toy. He meant nothing to them; how could one of them mean so much to him after only one meeting?
This guy made love to him... How is that so different that he would react like this?
Duo sagged against him, almost silent now.
Love... Shit. Was this the only physical manifestation of affection he's had since the orphanage? It couldn't be! He's gorgeous! He's bright and funny and, and confident and... shit, damn near perfect! I can't believe no one in all this time has never seen that.
Yeah? How long did it take for YOU to notice, Yuy?
Shut up. About fifteen seconds after he shot me, the first time.
Oh, sure. You noticed he was hot. What about those other sterling qualities?
On the ship, all right! Now, shut the fuck up!
Now who's the baka?
He's never cried over one of us. I didn't think he could cry. And I yelled at him... I was worried...
"I'm sorry, Duo. I didn't intend to yell at you. I... was worried that something might have happened to you," he said quietly.
Duo looked around bleakly. "The operation is safe, Heero; don't worry."
Heero stared at him. "I didn't say I was worried about the mission. I said I was worried about YOU."
Duo's chin trembled. He seemed to see the hurt in Heero's eyes; a hurt the Wing pilot wasn't consciously aware of. He reached up to wrap his arms around Heero's shoulders. "He was nice to me," he whispered in an attempt to explain what he barely understood himself. "He was kind and gentle and cared as much for my enjoyment as for his own. He was a nice old gentleman, and he died. I don't know why I'm so upset... He was... nice to me..."
Heero scooped him into his arms and carried him to the bed. "You're exhausted. Go to sleep; we'll talk in the morning." Duo nodded and began picking at the buttons on the silk shirt. "Let me do that," said Heero gently, and Duo relaxed and allowed Heero to undress him and cover him with the blankets. He curled around a pillow, his braid trailing away off the edge of the bed.
Heero pulled off his shirt and lay down next to him.
At least he's safe. Scared me to death. I was afraid... I was worried. Tomas, you and your friends are going to pay dearly for his pain.
"Heero?"
He raised up to see Duo's violet eyes glimmering in the faint light. "Yes, Duo?"
"Thank you for worrying about me instead of the mission. I'm just sorry you had to."
He pushed Duo's auburn bangs aside. "It's all right; sleep now."
~*~
It wasn't only Duo's lateness that worried him, but Heero was loath to admit such to the braided youth. His own evening had been spent in the bars, observing the men who gathered there, trying to make sense of this ugly and dangerous world of Duo's.
Some of the places, he found, were no different from the taverns they all enjoyed. There were pool tables and games and videos. The patrons were of all ages, though none as young as Duo. Some sat alone or with groups; some were obviously couples, paying attention only to each other.
Other bars were loud, dark and filled with sweating, writhing bodies. Heero was disconcerted by the dungeon-like ambiance of those places and the youth and vulnerability of many of the dancers. He tucked himself into a corner with a beer and watched for a while, as boys Duo's age or younger offered themselves to the older men leering around the dance floor.
Overtures made, deals concluded, some didn't even bother leaving the bar. Heero saw a multitude of sex acts and every tender young body bought and paid for reminded him of Duo.
Twenty-four days... For three weeks this had been Duo's world. How often in that time had Duo danced for these lechers? How often had he been on his knees under one of these tables? How many times had he been sprawled across a table for anyone's use?
The guy slapping a blond kid in the hallway by the toilets; had he ever slapped Duo that way? Glazed, detached and empty eyes stared from those young faces. He'd seen all of that in Duo's beautiful violet eyes.
Dammit, there was no reason for it! What had Duo ever done to deserve this sentence in hell? For that matter, what had any of these kids done?
No wonder Duo had shot that guy in the parking lot. And probably the one from last night as well. Duo hadn't laughed in days and his smiles were tight and brittle. Heero had noticed his hands trembling last time. He insisted he was all right. For the first time in his life he was lying to himself, as well as to Heero. Quatre came back distraught whenever he was with Duo. Trowa fretted silently. Even Wufei was angry for Duo instead of at him.
And there he lay now, looking relaxed and peaceful, thrumming gently in his sleep. Heero wanted to cry. He laid his hand on Duo's arm, rubbing lightly. Duo flinched slightly, but didn't wake.
"No anger here, Duo. No requirements, no expectations," he whispered. "Just be comfortable and safe. I'll watch over you. It'll be over tonight, I promise you." He smiled to himself. And Duo would be pampered and cosseted by all of them.
Who knows, Duo; maybe we'll have actual conversations. You're never doing this again, Duo. Never.
~*~
Duo awoke at midmorning with no desire to get out of bed. Until the door opened and Heero eased in carrying two coffees and a bag of donuts.
He smiled slightly when he saw that Duo was awake. "Coffee," he offered, "and sugar."
When Duo didn't respond, he went to sit of the edge of the bed. "Duo? Are you all right?"
He shook his head slowly, silently, not meeting Heero's eyes.
"What's wrong?" Heero asked gently, taking his hand. "Duo, please don't hide. Not from me..." He couldn't force him to speak, he couldn't demand that he unburden himself. It unsettled him to see the usually sharp and vivacious youth so depressed. Duo had his problems, but he didn't bottle things up this way.
Violet eyes opened slowly, scanning the room, finally coming to rest on Heero's face.
What the hell would I do without Heero's glare? Without his silences and the constant 'clickclickclick' of the keys on his laptop? What would I do if Shinigami came for him?
You would fight for him...
You think?
He does not belong to Shinigami; he belongs to Duo Maxwell.
Why are we so alone then?
Strong wills and the desire for independence.
I don't want to be independent.
You don't want to be alone.
"Has anyone ever told you you're beautiful?" he murmured.
Heero's eyebrows shot up.
What does he mean?
What do you think he means, Yuy. He finds you attractive.
Why?
Oh, maybe he likes you.
Me? All I do is yell at him, ignore him and call him an idiot. Why would he like me?
You don't want him to like you?
Yes. No. I DO want him to like me.
Duo wears a mask of his own; maybe he's seen through yours.
I have no mask.
Not anymore.
"Beautiful? Me?"
Duo smiled faintly. "I thought not. You are, you know." His voice was soft and husky, almost dreamy. "Your bone structure, the way your hair goes all over, your haunting blue eyes. How does a person of Japanese descent wind up with blue eyes, anyway?"
Heero shook his head, bemused. "I imagine it has something to do with genetics. I've never considered it." He touched Duo's hair. "Would you like some coffee, Duo?"
"Sure."
"Donuts?"
"Absolutely."
"Duo," he sighed, giving up. "You're scaring me a little."
Duo blinked a few times, sighed heavily and looked up. "Don't mean to. I guess... Oh, I guess I'm not myself... Robert... I really liked him. No one has ever treated me that way before."
Heero gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Someone will again, I'm sure of it."
Maybe... Maybe me..?
Duo sipped the hot coffee. "I think I'll have a shower and let it cool down a bit." He smiled at Heero. "Don't worry; I won't try to drown myself."
"That's good," Heero replied sardonically. "It might affect the mission."
"Wouldn't want to do that, now would we?" Duo snickered as he got out of bed. He set his coffee on the table and strolled naked into the bathroom.
"No," said Heero softly to himself, "we wouldn't want to do that." He shook his head to rid himself of the vision of Duo's bare butt.
Get hold of yourself, Yuy! There's a time and a place and this is not it!
~*~
"Stop arguing with me! I do not want you there!"
"Hey, I found him! I led him on! I got fucked a bunch of times by that jerk! I wanna be there when you put a bullet in him!"
"No."
"Heero --"
"I don't want you there! I want this quick and clean. I cannot afford to have you in the room."
"Why the hell not?!"
"...."
"What?"
"I said, you would distract me!"
"...?"
"Duo, please, just this one time, do as I tell you."
"...umm... Okay..."
TBC...
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