Fire in the Hole Part 12
Mission completed, Heero returned to the estate with some reluctance. Finishing the mission with Trowa was a snap; no teasing, no arguing, no talking. Just business. And Heero thought he might go nuts.
::I miss him! Everything I complained about, I miss! Dear god, what have I done?!::
At the same time, he didn't want to see Duo; did not want to see him happy with Wufei. ::Major miscalculation, Yuy,:: he thought sourly as he climbed down the gantry from Wing's cockpit.
::You could ask him to come back.::
::When hell freezes over!::
::So you'd rather be miserable.::
::He's made a choice.::
::He took the only option left.::
::Wufei cares for him.::
::Does he really?::
::Why else would he put up with him?::
::Why did you?::
::Because... because I love him...::
::Too bad you couldn't tell him...::
~*~
He started up the stairs and met Trowa coming down. Trowa blocked his path. "Are you looking for Duo?"
He hadn't intended to, but Trowa's accusation irritated him and he scowled. "And that concerns you how?"
"Don't bother him. His door is locked."
Heero stared at him. "Are you saying he's not alone?"
"I'm saying don't bother him. He's still upset that he couldn't finish the mission."
"He's with Wufei, isn't he?"
"It doesn't matter, Heero."
"He blew off a mission to run back to his boyfriend!"
Trowa's eyebrows shot up. "Heero! You know damn well that Duo's never bailed on a mission in his life! He made a decision for the good of the mission, for your safety and for his."
Heero fixed him with a look that would have sent hardened OZ soldiers running in panic. (Trowa barely noticed.) Then he pushed past Trowa and continued up the stairs.
~*~
In his own room, he dropped his bag on the floor and sat down, staring at the bed that used to be Duo's.
::He always told me he loved me. He touched me and held me and rubbed my shoulders and bandaged my wounds. He laughed too much, made too much noise and listened to that god-awful music. It's quiet now. I can work. I can sleep. I can lie awake all night listening for sounds from that room. I can dream of him every night. My heart turns over every time I see him. I didn't want him when he wanted me and now I can't get him out of my mind. It's stupid. It's ridiculous. It's counter-productive. It's... unprofessional. It... Shit! It hurts...::
He stood up abruptly and walked out of the room. At Wufei's door he knocked firmly.
"Who is it?" came Duo's husky voice.
"Heero."
A moment of silence followed. Heero was about to knock again, when the door opened.
The first thing he saw was Duo's thick mane of chestnut-red hair falling loose down his back. The only time Duo's hair was down during the day was during and after sex. Then he got a look at Duo's eyes. Puffy and red-rimmed at half-mast, he looked a sight. His nose was red as a drunkard's. As Heero stared, Duo sniffed and dabbed at his raw nose with a tissue pulled from the pocket of his ratty terrycloth robe.
"Oi, Heero," he said thickly. "Did the mission go okay?"
"Yes," replied the Japanese pilot automatically as he realised that Duo was in the throes of a respiratory infection.
"I'm glad," he sighed. He turned away, returning to his rumpled bed. "I guess you're here to give me hell for walking -- sorry -- running out like that." He crawled into bed, pulling the covers up over his shoulders and snuggling into his pillows. He met Heero's gaze unflinching. "I'm sorry, Heero. It was stupid, childish and unprofessional of me. It won't happen again." He closed his eyes. "I know you probably won't want to work with me again; I understand." He gave a great sigh and began to cough.
Heero shook himself out of his daze and went to his bedside. "Duo, do you need to see Sally? You don't sound good." ::How does he do that?! He just flayed himself with everything I was going to say! Now I can't say anything without feeling like a jerk!::
But Duo shook his head. "Talked to her yesterday. It's just a cold. My head hurts like a bitch and I'm starting to cough and I feel like refried goat crap, but it'll pass. I'm just so tired..."
At a loss, Heero could only say, "Well, take care of yourself. I -- we need you and Deathscythe healthy and alert."
"Yeah," mumbled Duo, nearly asleep. "Sorry 'bout this..."
"Never mind," said Heero gently. "Just go to sleep."
::Well, shit!::
::It's tugging at your heartstrings.::
::....::
::You're worried about him!::
::Goddammit!::
::You love him!::
::FUCK! OFF!::
He slammed his bedroom door almost off its hinges.
~*~
"What was that!" cried Quatre in the dining room, almost dropping his teacup.
Trowa glanced ceilingward. "Heero's back."
"Ohmigod! He's not in Duo's room, is he? He'll flay him alive over his behavior."
"I believe it was his own door that slammed."
Quatre stood up. "I'd better check on Duo," he muttered worriedly. "No, don't get up," he said as Trowa started to rise to accompany him. "I can handle Heero if need be," he said firmly. He hurried upstairs.
Trowa watched him go, then reached for another cookie. ::Don't get him mad, Heero,:: he thought mildly. ::You wouldn't like him when he's mad.::
~*~
Ten minutes later, Quatre was back, frowning.
"Little one?" murmured Trowa.
Quatre shook his head. "Duo's asleep. He felt cold, so I put another comforter over him. He looks like hell, but Sally said the worst would only last a couple of days. Heero's in a mood." He lifted his hand in acknowledgment of Trowa's unspoken remark. "I know, when is he not these days. He says he didn't say anything to Duo about the mission. He was in a mood though," he repeated thoughtfully.
"He's like that when Duo isn't well."
Quatre snorted. "He hasn't said a kind word to Duo since we got here! He didn't even thank him for going shopping. He just gets more and more tightly wound. He's going to explode one day."
"If he doesn't want Duo, why should he care what he does, or with whom, or what happens to him outside the missions?" Trowa wondered.
"He shouldn't, that's the whole point. The more he protests, the surer I am that he's lying. And to himself, as well." To Quatre lying to oneself was a cardinal sin.
"There is nothing we can do about it, though. If he can't or won't admit to the depth of his feelings for Duo, there is nothing anyone can do."
Quatre sighed and reached for a cookie. "This is true."
On their way upstairs to bed Quatre wondered if he should tell Trowa. He didn't like keeping things from his adored one, but he wasn't sure what the taciturn youth would think at this point, and he'd begun to feel that things were approaching a climax, so he decided to keep it to himself a bit longer.
TBC...
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