The Chibi Problem Part 7
BabyDoll began to stir about an hour later. I was lying on the bed, cuddling him and watching my new "Escaflowne" DVD, trying to picture Vaun in a compromising position with Alan, or maybe Alan's lieutenant (the dark-haired guy). BabyDoll laid his little hand on my arm and then wallowed his face against me.
Do I look like a tissue? I grumbled, but couldn't help smiling.
He squirmed around so that he could see my face and gave me a bleary grin and a happy "Shiiiniii..."
Are you okay? I asked quietly. You were all wet and cold and alone and I was worried.
"Moooooiii" he sighed. Then he proceeded to climb my shirt to nestle under my chin and thrum gently. Occasionally he giggled, a funny little wind chime sound. I began to get the picture.
Life was now perfect. BabyDoll had a wonderful mommie (hell, don't keep asking HOW I know; that's the translation I got), a warm, safe home with lots of good food and attention and two handsome mates who would take good care of him and the chibits.
Chibits?! CHIBITS?!?! ALREADY?!?!?! I'm not ready to be a grandmother!
"Moooooiii!" he cried, patting my cheek anxiously. The thrum grew louder with squeaks, gurgles, sighs and chirps interspersed. I hugged him tightly.
He didn't mean RIGHT NOW, but eventually he would present his mates with tiny replicas of themselves. And maybe, he suggested slyly, there would be a tiny BabyDoll for me.
Before I could react to THAT, my baby's mates arrived in a flurry of wings and weapons, chattering at full volume. They swooped and bounded into the room, both landing on the bed and stalking toward my baby.
He sat up, preening and grinning with delight. BabyDoll chattered back at them. What'd you bring me? (Bounce, bounce, giggle.)
His two mates began producing an alarming amount of goodies. They offered coins, beads, glittering rocks and other shiny objects, flowers, leaves, a Japanese beetle (where the hell did they find that?! Are they infesting the hill?), a mouse and a very indignant lizard.
BabyDoll crooned over the pretties, frowned at the mouse and cuddled the beetle and the startled lizard. His mates traded see?-I-told-you-he-liked-mine-better looks and I cleared my throat.
Guys... The rodent... Remove please.
They both stared blankly back at me.
Mouse. Not in the house. Take it out, please.
BabyDoll looked up from petting the lizard and hissed at the pair before him. They grumbled a bit, but gathered up the mouse and stuffed it out the window flap. BabyDoll nodded his pleasure and looked up at me for approval; I nodded and he beamed.
His mates presented themselves to me and began "omae"-ing and "injustice"-ing at me. They were quite longwinded.
They had found a good nesting place. They wanted BabyDoll to approve it. BabyDoll would have a perfect nest in which to raise chibits. They would be lavished with attention, food would be plentiful. In short, BabyDoll would have everything he needed.
Glad to hear it, I said when they had finished their two-part harmony. However, BabyDoll is MY baby and he's not living outside or in a nest or raising his babies where birds, raccoons, possums, coyotes and unsupervised kids can get at them. He is going to eat a properly balanced diet, have regular check-ups and lead the pampered protected life he's used to.
They glared at me, but before they could make good on the threats I saw forming in those gleaming eyes, I finished my speech.
And I fully expect both of you to adapt your behavior to my BabyDoll's environment and nest in the house with him. You will go to the vet for checkups and shots and to make sure those wounds don't get infected. When we finish at the vet's tomorrow we'll go condo shopping, all of us.
I turned back to BabyDoll, pretending to ignore the alphas, but keeping them in the corner of my eye.
Two sets of eyebrows shot up. BabyDoll held up the lizard for my approval. Two mouths dropped open in astonishment. He was a pretty critter, green on top and an iridescent blue-green underneath. Two jaws snapped shut, then opened again in an indignant squawk.
Very handsome, sweetie, but do you really want to keep him inside? BabyDoll shook his head, and cuddled the lizard for a moment longer before putting him out the flap. Lizard spent a few seconds trying to figure out what the catch was before disappearing into the shrubbery. That left only the beetle, but I had plans for him.
The exotic pair put their heads together, muttering softly. They looked at me and went back to muttering. They looked a bit longer at BabyDoll and muttered some more. BabyDoll slithered across the bed to cuddle between them. The muttering stopped. They glomped onto him possessively. They muttered some more. BabyDoll "oooooiii'-ed firmly. And then he smiled and fluttered his long lashes. They began to drool. He "oooooiii"-ed again, a few notches lower; a sultry, seductive promise, and began running his fingers through their hair. Busy little hands were suddenly empty of weapons and full of BabyDoll.
He looked up and winked at me. I grinned back and decided it was time for a snack. I left BabyDoll and his mesmerized husbands to their own devices.
~*~
Sleep was an unattainable dream that night. I tried foam earplugs, latex earplugs, gun mufflers. Nothing. I spent the night listening miserably to shrieks, shouts, screams, moans, growls, groans and giggles coming from the living room. The cats came and went through the flap, probably watching, the fuzzy little voyeurs.
They'd been at it, indoors and out, all damn day and now into the night!
I stared at the ceiling and drew an imaginary piece of paper. Note to self, I wrote. All mating noise must cease by 2300.
When do these guys ever sleep?!
~*~
I was standing in the kitchen, my arms on the counter and my head resting on my arms, half asleep waiting for the coffee to finish cooking when BabyDoll landed on my butt and ambled up my back.
G'morn, I muttered and yawned. How can you even move after all that?
He stretched out on my shoulderblade, head hanging down to look at my face. "Moooooiii..." Click, click, twitter, "Shiii..." gurgle, giggle, smirk, purr.
Need a bath, sweetie.
"...heeeeelll..." grumble, snort.
...Smell like chibi-cum, l'il devil...
"Oooooiii!"
He sat up and thwaped the back of my head. I smiled and chuckled. Well, you do! I suppose you want coffee too?
He moved to the counter top and knelt, sitting back on his heels, with his hands folded daintily in his lap, and smiled brightly.
Shower first.
BabyDoll pouted and gave me the eyes. I was firm, though.
Nope. It'll be ready when you come out.
He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, but launched for the bathroom. A moment later I heard the water come on in the sink. He's a good little guy. I closed my eyes again. The damn coffee was taking forever...
An instant later (or so it seemed) BabyDoll was back, looking fresh as a dahlia and smelling like gardenias. Into my body creams again, are we? I said as I straightened up. Gotta quit doing that; my poor back won't take it, I muttered to myself.
I fell down the stairs when I was eighteen and again at 22 and damaged a disk when I was 23, so flopping over on the counter is not a good thing. Next time, I told myself as I always do and never listen, I'll just lie on the fucking counter.
By the time I was upright, my mug was sitting on the counter waiting for me and BabyDoll was holding his and studying me anxiously.
"Moooooiii?"
His concern touched me. I almost started crying. I get like that when I don't get any sleep and don't get anything else to make up for it.
I'm okay, I assured him. Just stiffened up for a minute. Don't worry sweetie. I poured the coffee and got out the sugar and the flavored creamers. BabyDoll can manage the mugs because there are no doors on my cupboards, but the refrigerator has a strong seal and sometimes he can't get it open. He doesn't even try to pour the coffee (thank the Goddess!) which is a relief. While I was opening a package of cinnamon rolls, BabyDoll mixed my coffee and his (he loves the chocolate flavoring, but I was out so he made do with kahlua; he hates vanilla) and was sitting primly on the edge of the counter, one leg crossed over the other.
The nuker dinged on the rolls, the slider flap did a "flapflapflappityflap" and the Hardy Boys arrived.
Whoa there guys! No dirty bodies in the kitchen! Have you cleaned up? I asked suspiciously. BabyDoll raised a questioning eyebrow.
They hopped up on the dining table and let me sniff AND touch. Yeah, clean and fresh washed. Their hair was still damp. Good job, guys! I enthused, and welcomed them to the counter. Coffee? They nodded eagerly. I found a couple of small mugs and poured the coffee, letting BabyDoll instruct them in the use of sugar and cream.
I quartered a roll for them and buttered two for myself. Yeah, yeah, I know, but I had a lousy night and I deserved a reward.
I watched while the alphas ate with BabyDoll. They were both making a good attempt at copying his table manners, the two of them sitting lotus-fashion on either side of him. Between sips of coffee and bites of roll, they regarded him with adoring eyes. BabyDoll pretended to ignore them, all the while keeping half an eye on them and occasionally brushing his fingertips against an ankle or thigh. They may have been the alphas, but I knew who ruled in that relationship.
Somehow from that came the realization that I needed to call them something other than "guys" or "hey you." And I wondered if they had actual names in their own language.
BabyDoll had finished his sugar-laden breakfast so I picked him up and carried him into the bedroom and closed the door.
We sat on the bed and he cocked his head to the side winsomely, a clear "what's up, mommie?" in his bright violet eyes.
Sweetie, I asked, do your mates have names that I can pronounce?
He thought for a moment, then shook his head "no." I knew that would be too easy.
Okay. Do their names mean something that I can translate into my language? Like strong fighter or murderous psychotic or he-who-collects-the-most-weapons-wins?
BabyDoll giggled and "oooooiii"-ed. He thought for another moment, then trilled and "Shiiiniiigamiii"ed and rumbled. The translation was shaky, but I think I got it right. The wufei was called "scourge of baby murderers and egg stealers and stalker of rodents." Okaaaaay. The heero was named "warrior of the air, protector of the nests."
Well, what could I do? What would YOU do? I named the wufei "Killer" and the heero "Angel." BabyDoll giggled and nodded eagerly.
So, you think they'll agree? He shook his head, still giggling, and climbed my shirt to hug me tightly. No matter; HE liked the names; they would get used to it. I began to see the kind of power the subs could wield over the (so-called) doms. Those two boys were in deeper than they realised. I nuzzled BabyDoll's cinnamon hair.
Okay, sweetie. Let's go give them the news. By the way, what's the alpha duo's name? I figured the least I could do was to call him by some semblance of his name.
"Bringer of death from the sky and guardian of all souls," BabyDoll translated quickly.
Hmmm... Do you think he would approve of DeathSky? BabyDoll danced right off my shoulder and did a little tango of delight on the bed. I took that as a "yes."
Not surprisingly, Killer and Angel were not terribly amused, but they took it manfully and didn't glare or threaten. In fact they both sighed heavily and snuggled up to my little darling. Clear again, whatever BabyDoll wanted, BabyDoll would get. He damn well better, I thought, after what they did to him (okay; WITH him) last night. Obviously didn't put them out too much; Angel had his hand on BabyDoll's crotch, Killer's was on his ass.
I just rolled my eyes, and began looking for my bag and my keys.
C'mon, y'all; let's get this marriage on the road. I headed for the door.
Angel and Killer looked at each other, then at BabyDoll, apparently confused. He trilled and purred and grabbed their hands and pulled them along to the car.
Neither of them liked the chibi car seat or the seat belt, but they put up with it because BabyDoll did. When I started the car, well, the only word that fits is "freaked," and that's what they did. Thanks to the belts, they couldn't escape and BabyDoll quickly calmed them down. For about ten seconds, until I put the car in gear. It went like that for a good while. If I stopped, they freaked. When I shifted, they freaked. I put a CD in, they freaked. Turn signals, they freaked. Freeway onramp, they freaked (okay; out of fairness, that does happen to a lot of people who ride with me, but still...).
The ultimate freak came when I put the top down. BabyDoll had to grab them around their necks in twin chokeholds to keep them in the car. Fortunately, we were only a block from the vet's and we all made it in one piece, if a little bruised and shaken.
Now came the BIG one. I had to get Killer and Angel into harnesses for the waiting room. BabyDoll was already wearing his harness and leash. It didn't take as much browbeating as I expected. I guess my little darling is a hell of a catch. They grumbled and growled and glared at me, but allowed me to buckle them into harnesses and attach leashes. BabyDoll and Angel rode on my shoulder and I carried Killer.
The waiting room was almost empty. A cute little dustmop dog barked once before being hushed by his elderly daddy. The ferals tensed, eyeing him warningly. Killer muttered a "kisama!"
The receptionist, Clarice, greeted BabyDoll and I warmly and exclaimed over Killer and Angel. They began to relax under her glowing praise. I explained that they were BabyDoll's mates and that we wanted the works for them, to be sure they were healthy. She gave me paperwork to fill out and played with my chibis while I did. Before I knew it, Killer and Angel were hauling out their weaponry to show off.
Only the small stuff, gentlemen, I reminded them.
Dr. Wright was delighted to see BabyDoll and intrigued by his handsome choices.
And you say they're ferals? he asked for the tenth time. I didn't bother to answer again. Both very healthy; well fed... Amazing. He went on like that for a while, poking and prodding and spreading Angel's beautiful wings to examine him for mites, and finally getting to the hard part, giving the little barbarians their shots.
BabyDoll took control for that part, explaining to his mates what was going to happen, as well as taking his shots first. Angel stepped up next and took his with only a stoic flinch. Of course, Killer had to try to outdo him and managed not to flinch, but he forgot himself and rubbed his butt where the shots were given. I guess that made them even.
BabyDoll climbed onto Dr. Wright's shoulder and chattered at him for a couple of minutes. The vet nodded as if he understood, but I know he didn't. He's remarked on how cute chibis are; that they seem to be trying to talk. What can I say? He's a good doctor and there aren't a lot of chibi specialists around. I just nod and agree and BabyDoll and I laugh about it in the car.
Our next stop was PetsMart. Again, the fliers sat on my shoulders while I carried Killer. He seemed to be getting used to it, he hardly grumbled at all. In the cat condo section, they explored and debated the options. I reminded them that the cats would probably want to visit. Angel and Killer bristled and began drawing up plans for nest security.
Look guys, I don't want to spend all day here. Pick a condo and let's go.
BabyDoll launched from the floor to my shoulder and indicated his choice. I was lucky; I got out of there for only a little under $300.
And now I am a mother-in-law... Yay me.
TBC...
Back to PlaidDragon's Fanfictions Page