The Chibi Problem Part 6
During the next two weeks, we did the Wild Animal Park and the Zoo. We did Disneyland (but not the California Adventure: we live here, that's adventure enough). We did Knott's Berry Farm and Sea World and LegoLand (an unfortunate cross-cultural pollution that the gundam love). We did Universal Studios. We did not do Six Flags Magic Mountain. I have a fear of heights and roller coasters; you do the math.
In between for relaxation, we did the malls and TJ. Oh, yeah. I watched the continuing mating dance of the alphas.
When are you going to choose one of them? I asked my bat-winged little angel one evening. We were sitting outside with the gundam, watching as the two alphas attempted to beat each other senseless. They're getting pretty raggedy looking. You want a mate who looks good, don't you? I glanced up as the wufei slammed the heero's head against a rock. And who's still got a working brain.
BabyDoll blushed and purred against my neck, his wings moving slowly to move the breeze along. He clutched his beanbag dragon from Disneyland under his arm.
You can't decide? I looked at him. He cuddled his braid against his chest "oooooiii"-ing softly. I sighed and shook my head. Then those two are probably going to kill each other.
The heero had the wufei down, and was sitting on his chest trying to strangle him. The wufei had the heel of one hand under the heero's chin, forcing his head back.
I stood up, carrying BabyDoll with me. Okay, y'all go ahead and keep score; WE are going to bed. BabyDoll leaned over my shoulder waving an enthusiastic goodbye to the combatants.
~*~
The following morning, the big guy presented himself politely at the slider and requested an audience. I was curious, so I granted his request. BabyDoll was nervous.
Big guy told us that BabyDoll needed to make a choice now; that this had been going on for a few months, and it was becoming disruptive to his gundam. Some of the other wufeis and heeros were making tentative noises about challenging their alphas. If it came to that, someone could get killed.
Stricken, BabyDoll began babbling, thrumming and "oooooiii"-ing, waving his arms, his braid bouncing around him. The big guy listened patiently, leaning on his scythe. When BabyDoll began to run down, he stroked his hair gently, and purred back at him. Then he turned to me while BabyDoll sat at his feet.
I thought BabyDoll was being coy when he couldn't decide between his suitors. Turns out he wanted them both, but was too embarrassed to say so. He didn't want to be shunned by the gundam for being different. He'd been hoping that one of them would lose interest, so that he wouldn't have to turn him away.
Domestics, snorted the alpha, and grimaced at me. Easy translation; BabyDoll lacked the "native" knowledge absorbed by wild chibis from their parents and gundam-mates.
And that relates, how? I asked.
BabyDoll didn't need to choose between them. If he wanted both, he had only to say so and the ball would be in their court. So to speak.
BabyDoll lit up like the proverbial Christmas tree. He began to thrum; eventually reaching a volume that started the glassware in the cupboard rattling. He bounced up and down, patting at my leg until I said, Oh, crap; just do it!
He was out the door like a shot.
You're sure this is okay? I thought you little guys mated for life.
The big duo raised one eyebrow, smirking. Yes, they mated for life, but nothing ever specified paired matings. It just didn't happen very often. Most chibis had eyes for only one mate. The few who could stand more than one were looked upon with awe and respect.
After all, suggested the big guy, would YOU want more than one mate? Think of the conflicts.
I thought about it. Then I thought of some of my favorite anime characters. And what I could do with more than one. Then I wiped the drool off my chin.
The alpha shook his head and let out a raucous laugh.
Then I realised that I knew something probably no other chiber knew: chibis are polygamists.
I had all of three seconds to digest that revelation before BabyDoll and his two suitors exploded into the house. They bounded around the room, laughing, giggling, chasing back and forth, and rolling in a big black, white and green mass across the floor, with BabyDoll's braid waving like a flag. He finally flopped on the sofa, hiccuping in near-hysteria. The heero and the wufei paused, breathing heavily and glaring at each other, fondling their respective weapons suggestively. They both looked like survivors of Omaha Beach. They had made an obvious effort to clean up, but blood was still oozing from various minor wounds and they sported a plethora of makeshift bandages.
Aw, shit, I thought, there goes the upholstery.
But instead of attacking each other, they leaped onto BabyDoll, sending him into fresh paroxysms of laughter and shrieks of "Shiiiniiigaaamiii!"
I looked at the duo sitting comfortably on the hapi table. They gonna do this all day? I asked with a sigh.
He shrugged. That was pretty much up to my little trollop. Mating would take as much or as little time as the participants chose. I might want to move BabyDoll's bed out here, he suggested, and gave me a wink and a nudge. Terrific. The alpha was a Monty Python fan.
~*~
I took the suggestion, though, and moved BabyDoll's nest, blankie and toys into the corner of the living room. I also admonished the three chibis that whatever they did, I would appreciate them doing it quietly and with as little damage as possible. BabyDoll nodded eagerly, a Cheshire grin on his face and his beautiful violet eyes even larger than normal. The pair flanking him bowed solemnly and nodded not-quite-so-eagerly.
Okay then, I said. And no fighting. Not in the house, anyway, I muttered.
Maybe I'm too trusting, as some people have told me. Maybe I'm living in a state of denial. Or maybe I'm just the biggest idiot on the planet. Whichever. I decided to make a bookstore run and leave the business of chibi mating to the chibis. I did say a little prayer as I fired the engine that I wouldn't come back to a demolished house.
It must have been my day at Barnes & Noble. All of my favorite authors had new books out in paper, seven of the older titles I'd been hunting for were in, there was a new chibi book (but written by a professional breeder; oh well) and several new books in the crafts section that I just had to have. A large, glossy book offered patterns for knitting and crocheting sweaters for beanbag toys, which, with only a little adjustment, can be made for chibis as well.
Let's just say, I must have been more anxious than I thought about what was going on at home. I bought seventeen books. And four magazines. My wallet goddess must have been at the beach, instead of at her post to rap my knuckles when I start buying books.
To top it off, I was sucked into my favorite yarn shop. I tried to fight it; really I did... But I walked out with enough yarn to knit a sweater for Lady Liberty or crochet a blanket for the island of Catalina. And a redundant number of needles and hooks.
It's not my fault. I was worried about my baby on his honeymoon. Wouldn't any mother feel the same?
The house was intact and relatively undisturbed (with my housekeeping it's kind of hard to tell sometimes) and unusually quiet. I went on a chibi hunt.
Now, will someone tell me why I bothered with the patio, the backyard, and the bathroom, the kitchen, the dining room and the living room before checking the bedroom? Was I in denial or scared or just plain embarrassed? Does any parent (however weird) REALLY want to watch their kid... umm... (I can barely say it; I MUST be embarrassed!) having sex. (Goddess!)
Somehow, I lucked out.
My little angel was curled up on my bed, asleep and alone. I gathered him up in my arms, ridiculously relieved. Until I noticed that he was wet and cold.
Whatthefuck?!?!?!
Baby! I gasped. What happened?! He stirred only slightly and whined, snuggling against my arm.
I stormed out onto the patio and bellowed for the duo alpha. He glided in almost immediately to land on my shoulder. "Oooooiii?" he inquired.
What did they do to my baby?! I yelled.
The big guy took a closer look at BabyDoll, then folded his arms over his chest. "Shiiiiiniiiigamiiii!" he growled.
Whattayamean, NO PROBLEM?!?!?! I clutched my little doll protectively.
He sighed and sat down on my shoulder, patting my collarbone and began to thrum.
Bottom line: BabyDoll was fine. He was just tired, as was usual after a first mating. He wasn't abandoned; his consorts were out hunting or possibly building a nest. He wasn't "wet"; he'd been sweating.
Aw, shit, I sighed. Dammit, I was scared half to death! He's my baby! It doesn't matter that he's an adult, he's MY BABY! And I don't want those... those two barbarians to hurt him!
He rumbled and sighed and thrummed some more.
His consorts would be back as soon as he woke up, he explained. In the meantime, I should just wrap him up and cuddle him, and maybe take a Valium or have a beer. He patted my cheek and stood up. Our interview was over. Grudgingly, I agreed.
What could I do, after all? Take a stick to them? Not likely. They were both heavily armed. I couldn't keep them apart, either. BabyDoll had made his choice. He was mated for life, and I had encouraged it, so I had to live with it.
Crap.
Well, they sure as hell weren't dragging my BabyDoll to a dusty nest in a tree somewhere; THAT was not an option! They'd nest in the house and eat proper meals. BabyDoll was going to have beautiful, healthy babies and they were all going to live safely inside. So there!
Over-protective mother, my ass!
TBC...
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