The Chibi Problem Part 18
Here I am, walking back and forth on the shoulder of the highway, using words I normally never even think, let alone utter aloud. I haven't figured out whom to blame; probably a good thing I don't carry a gun.
It's all the fault of my family, that rapacious flock of carrion-eaters who share my bloodlines. How? you ask. It's a long story; have a sit, take off your shoes and be comfortable.
One of my younger cousins chose to throw a lavish, "Godfather"-style wedding, in of all places, Ft. Huachuca, Arizona. She managed to land herself an Army officer, who happened to be stationed there.
Now, that right there, is funnier than hell to me. My dad was career military, and he was disdained and dismissed by the rest of the family, and my mother was ever after mentioned in a "poor thing -- so sad" tone of voice for having hooked up with a soldier. No one else in the family has ever had any connection to the military.
Anyway, true to family form, they invited me and a "guest". Normally, I would send a nice card with a Target or WalMart gift certificate, but I felt like a road trip, and Saguaro National Park is on the way and Tombstone is a close side trip. Ft. Huachuca is about 8 hours, road time from me. I also wanted a chance to expose some of the other chibis to the delights of human travel.
My real reason for going: I wanted to show off my BabyDoll. Yep, mommy-pride rears its head again.
So, there we were, on a Wednesday morning, loading up the car with the help(?) of the whole gundam. I tossed in all the usual stuff I haul with me on roadtrips, and then we started on the chibi essentials.
BabyDoll was going, of course, but Angel and Killer were staying home with the little guys (tentatively named Seduces Humans, Thousand-Watt Glare and Gnaws On Ankles). BabyDoll had chosen the most likely of the juveniles to accompany us.
I'd been thinking and reading about service animals, and figured this might be a good chance to see if any of the wild gundam would accept the concept of helping humans. BabyDoll picked out Happy, a quatre named Zee, a heero I called Demon, a wufei who answered grudgingly to Justy and a trowa who could only be know as Ghost. We (BabyDoll and I) were going to evaluate how they behaved around humans at the National Park, the town and the wedding.
Oh, yeah. My chibis were going to a wedding.
Did I mention that my cousin, the bride-to-be, once called my dad a Nazi?
To err is human, but to forgive is not my policy.
I had to wait about half an hour while parents and children hugged, chattered and cried. Finally, we managed to get everyone into the car and get outta there.
Mike agreed to check on the cats' food and water, but Killer and Angel had the actual responsibility of putting down food and fresh water for them. Mike was just the overseer. I had laid in plenty of eggs, water in half-liter bottles and milk in pint bottles. And I reminded them that Mike was allowed in the house, and that Shawn could come and play. Anyone else was the enemy. Just let someone try to get into the house. Please.
Everybody was securely buckled into their harnesses, so I put the top down at the gas station. We hit the freeway south with the wind ruffling our hair and Queen blaring from the CD. I grabbed the fast lane and we flew.
All of two miles.
Sigh.
There is no such thing as "rush hour" any more. It is now an all morning long rush.
The chibis enjoyed the 20mph slow-and-go as much as the 70mph flying. They got more stares and double takes at the slow speeds, and I actually answered some shouted questions from other drivers.
Finally, though, we made it through the city and headed east on I-8.
The fliers perched on the headrest, faces in the wind. The grounders clung to the carseat, content to watch through the windshield.
We passed by or through Alpine, Descanso, Boulevard, and Ocotillo, before making our first rest stop in El Centro. It's a beautiful drive, especially in the spring. The wildflowers are beginning to bloom, the fields are planted and symmetrical, the sky is a fantastic shade of blue with a hint of metallic green.
The convenience store clerk stared as we collected water and corn chips while the gas tank filled. BabyDoll was sitting on my head, the two young fliers on my shoulders and the three grounders clinging to my tote bag.
The clerk was good; I'll give him that. He rang everything up, bagged it (except for the bottle of water that Justy snatched off the counter), smiled tightly and wished me a nice day. On my way out the door, I heard him on the phone, screaming at someone in Spanglish.
BabyDoll leaned down to look at me quizzically.
He's never seen a chibi before, I explained.
"Oooooiii... Ssssoooiii..."
He felt sorry for the guy.
So did I.
Our next stop was Yuma, across the border into Arizona. This was just a pit stop for me to use the restroom and slap on some more sunscreen. BabyDoll herded the youngsters into the restroom and everyone ducked under the faucet for a cooldown. Back in the car, they shook off and began grooming, while I figured out how to get back onto I-8.
It's been a few years since I went east. I get turned around sometimes, between surface streets and on-ramps. Highway departments seem to take a perverse delight in realigning things, just to frustrate people like me. I finally had to send BabyDoll up to find the ramp. He doesn't drive and I'm not sure he actually reads maps, but he understands "that way" and "on-ramp".
My great little guy.
I gave him an M&M for a reward.
Stopped in Gila Bend for food. It's a wide spot on the road, population about 2000, but they have gas and food. I got to show off the chibis again, to a group of kids. The girls "ooh"ed and "aah"ed over them and the boys were impressed at the formidable weapons they displayed. I wrote down some web sites for them to check out for more information, along with the caveat that chibis were not a good pet for children, since they require a lot of care and are very expensive.
I had reserved a room at a motel in Tucson. We arrived in time for a late dinner, so after dumping our gear, we crossed the road to a fast food place. I made the poor counter person drag out pictures of what the food looked like so that the chibis could choose from that. She looked confused, but was quite helpful. I fibbed a little, telling her that I was training companion animals, and she just nodded.
I had a burrito and the little guys shared taquitos, nachos and a quesadilla. Justy wanted to hoard the taquito he was supposed to be sharing with Zee, until Ghost stared at him. Justy didn't so much give in, as he sort of melted under that stare. He broke the taquito in half and gave Zee the larger piece. For his part, Zee leaned over and nuzzled his cheek affectionately.
Ghost blinked once, and returned to munching quietly on his slice of quesadilla.
BabyDoll made a cooing sort of hiccup that passes for a chibi chuckle, and fluttered his lashes at me. I offered him a piece of flour tortilla with sour cream and he took it carefully, making sure that the young ones understood that snatching was a no-no.
Getting ready for bed at the motel was an adventure in itself. I had a shower, and then the chibis took over the bathroom.
The wild ones were familiar with sinks and faucets and towels by now, but they still tended to make a huge mess when they bathed. BabyDoll had undertook the task of teaching them how not to soak the whole room.
I left them alone, surfing the TV channels for something not too stupid to watch. One of the movie channels was showing The Terminator. I checked my soda and grabbed my bag of chips.
In between screams, car chases and relentless robots, I heard squeaks, squawks and grumbles from the bathroom. Ghost floated out at one point and took something from the chibis' bag, then floated back into the bathroom. Some splashing went on, but nothing that sounded like they were planning a tsunami.
BabyDoll came to me, finally, and chirped for me to come see.
The bathroom was dry. There were about a dozen wet towels on the vanity, but everything else looked great. The chibis were lined up for my inspection, BabyDoll's bit of whip cracking, I guessed.
Clean hair, clean faces, and clean plumage. They even had their weapons neatly displayed. And all five of them were smiling, more or less. Even Justy. Well, he was on the "less" end of the scale, but still...
Demon and Ghost displayed their smiles in their eyes more than on their faces, and Happy and Zee absolutely beamed. I wanted to reach for my sunglasses.
Awww... You guys look so cute, I cooed. I couldn't help it; they were just adorable.
"Shiiiiiniii..." trilled BabyDoll happily.
And what a great job of cleaning up! You know, I said to the juveniles, If you're careful not to make a mess in the beginning, then you don't have a mess to clean up.
BabyDoll smirked; obviously, he'd already made that point.
But they listened intently to me, and then looked at each other and chattered softly together. Then they looked at me again, and Zee (obviously the spokeschibi) chirped, "Friend!"
A glance at BabyDoll told me I could take that as agreement.
All right, guys! Let's get some sleep.
I offered a ride, they climbed or fluttered into my arms, and I carried the whole bunch out to the bed. They had the option of sleeping on the second bed or on my bed, as long as they didn't disturb my sleep. BabyDoll had already explained that and all but Happy settled down contentedly on the other bed.
Happy worried the bedspread until he had constructed a suitable nest. BabyDoll of course, slept on my pillow.
TBC...
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