*sigh* Well, this was an interesting experiment- and now it's finished.
I had to use the hit by an ambulance thing... sorry! *evil grin*
Heero/Duo alternated POVs
Out of my Head Part 10
The hand on the back of my neck turns gentle, starts to pet, and I wonder what Dr. J is doing.
"Heero, I'm not going to beat you..."
I freeze. Beating is preferable to the alternative....
I can't go through that again! I won't!
Quickly, I uncurl myself from the corner and glance up through my bangs, trying to determine where Dr. J is... maybe if I succeed in escaping him he'll forget the punishment...
Duo.
Duo is sitting in front of me, and I wonder for a moment if he's going to collapse again.
He's frowning.
He's unhappy.
Before I realize it I'm shoving the doors of the hospital open and running down the sidewalk, dodging people, nearly tripping over my own feet...
What am I doing? Why am I running from Duo?
The rational part of my head is screaming at me to stop, but my feet keep moving forward automatically, moving as fast as I can.
I hit the end of the sidewalk, ready to dash across the street, when a movement in the corner of my eye makes me stop fast. An ambulance rushes by, missing me by what feels like an inch, but has to be more than that...
A second later and something impacts me from behind, cracking into the back of my skull and nearly sending me sprawling. I manage to swing myself around instead of falling face first in the street, but it's a close call.
Wufei is behind me, one hand over his nose, blood beginning to trickle through his fingers.
My head is aching sharply. I reach up to the back of my head and feel the beginnings of a goose egg forming.
"Ow."
Wufei glares at me the best he can. "Have you decided to stop running or can I sit down?"
I collapse on the grass that edges the sidewalk and Wufei sits down next to me. The blood flow seems to have increased and I wonder if his nose is broken. He's leaning forward carefully, trying not to let the blood fall on his shirt, but I can tell it's a lost cause.
I pull off my T-shirt and hand it to him. "Pinch your nose."
"It hurts to do that." He puts the shirt up and applies pressure.
"You broke it then."
"You mean you broke it." He grumbles.
If Duo was out here, he'd be teasing the two of us about being hard-headed in a literal sense, and I realize that I'm going to have to explain this flight to Duo...
How the hell do I explain this?
Wufei is watching me carefully. "You move from that spot and I will hurt you." He says, and I am sure he is frowning behind the shirt. "Running is not the answer. Tell me what happened."
I take a deep breath and try to organize my scattered thoughts.
"I don't know. They took Duo into the ER and then... then I guess I..." This is going to sound moronic... "I saw Dr. J..."
Wufei doesn't even blink. "A vision?" I consider this for a moment.
"A memory."
"Ah. A flashback. You have not had them before?"
"Not when I've been awake." I frown.
"But you did just have a stressful experience, didn't you? Something that triggered it?"
Stressful experience does not come close to watching your lover almost die. I don't say this to Wufei, since I'm sure he knows that already.
"And the two of you- you have been having some trouble lately?"
"We were talking about it right before..." I admit.
"So, once the situation was out of your hands, you flashbacked to another time. It is not an unusual thing." Wufei gets to his feet, pulling me up with him. "Come with me. My nose needs medical attention and I daresay you could use some ice. Not to mention that Duo would like to see you too. Sally barely stopped him from coming after you and I was worried that he'd leap out of the chair anyway."
He leads me down the sidewalk, still talking in that soothing tone, and I follow obediently, grateful for his understanding presence.
~*~
I want to yell at Sally. I know Wufei will chase Heero down, but damn it, that is my job! I need to be there for him. I need to be the one to stop him... I trust Fei but at the same time there's the feeling that only I can bring Heero back--
Sally ignores my pleas to follow the other two and she wheels me up to Quatre's room. "Wufei will bring Heero up here, I'm sure," is all she says and I wonder why I didn't stomp on her with Scythe when I had the chance.
Quatre and Trowa are sitting and talking quietly when Sally wheels me in. She insists that I settle myself on the bed that she ordered brought into the room, and Trowa helps her.
She then orders the other two to call a nurse if I so much as sneeze before she finally leaves.
"How are you feeling, Duo? The nurse told us about your reaction when she brought the bed in." Quatre smiles. "We sent Wufei down to see you, did you see him or did he miss you somehow?"
"He took off after Heero." I look towards the window and I wish I could be closer to it.
"Why? What happened?"
"Heero... he was acting strangely..." I look back at my friends; see the worry in their expressions. "When I came out of the ER he was all curled up on the sofa. He was shaking- so I touched him... and he called me Dr. J."
Trowa looks more concerned and Quatre nods. "Did he say anything else?"
"He asked me not to beat him." I frown. "And something about that he knew I wasn't happy with him..."
"Does Heero have flashbacks?" Quatre asks.
"Nightmares," I answer, and realize where he is going. "So he was having a flashback..."
"Something triggered it." I nodded. Not hard to guess what that might have been.
Trowa is tapping his chin with the tips of his fingers. "Can you remember exactly what he said, Duo?"
I try and remember. "Something like- I'm sorry. I failed. I'm sorry you're not happy. Please Dr. J- I know you aren't happy, but please don't hurt me, not again."
When I repeat it like that, it sounds familiar.
I just want you to be happy....
"It sounds like Dr. J would hurt Heero if he made J unhappy somehow." Quatre snarls. "Too bad he's dead."
Before I can answer, the door swings open and Wufei steps in. Trowa and Quatre gasp in unison at the sight of him. His shirt is bloody and his nose is swathed in bandages.
He steps inside and relief sweeps through me. Heero is behind him, bare-chested, holding a bag of ice on the back of his head.
"What did you two do?" Quatre exclaims.
"Missed getting hit by an ambulance," Wufei answers and goes to sit beside Quatre on the bed. The three of them focus on each other, and I reach out my hand to Heero.
"You okay?" I ask, conscious of our audience as he takes my hand and squeezes it.
"Shouldn't I ask you that?" He smiles and sits on the side of my bed. "I'm sorry," he adds in a softer voice as he puts the ice bag down on the table.
"It's okay. You'll- talk to me about it? Later?"
He bites his lip.
"Please Heero?"
"Yes. Okay." His free hand cups my cheek. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine," I huff. "Sally is making me stay here with Quatre for a few hours though."
"You make it sound like torture!" Quatre laughs from the other side of the room. "In that case, now would be a good time for me to go for a walk."
The ensuing argument over who gets to walk where and how far makes both Heero and I laugh. The three of them finally vanish out the door, Quatre winking at me over Trowa's shoulder.
"So," I look back up at Heero. "Tell me what happened?"
~*~
After Wufei and I get bandaged, we head upstairs. Wufei assures me that Sally was planning on putting Duo in Quatre's room, and much to my relief, that's where he is.
He's looking much better and he smiles when he sees me. All he asks is that I talk to him about it later. I'm relieved- and then the other three leave for a walk...
And Duo asks me to tell him what happened. Guess this is later...
"I saw..." That doesn't sound right. "I remembered Dr. J."
"What was he doing?"
"He was... angry with me."
"Was he usually?"
"When I first started training with him, yes. He'd get very angry when I couldn't do something he wanted."
"What would he do?" I didn't want to tell him. But Duo pulls me down closer, holding me tightly. "Please Heero?"
"He'd tell me that he was going to make me leave. I wasn't making him happy; he despised me for my weaknesses... I could leave- or I could be punished..."
Duo kisses me gently. "And you'd rather be punished than leave?"
"I had no where else to go."
Duo's arms tighten a little and then he puts his head down on top of mine. We sit there like that for a little while, and I wonder what he's thinking.
I'm wondering why I didn't remember before what Dr. J used to say to me. I'm wondering if it had anything to do with my decision to leave Duo.
Would it be stupid to say it did? That I felt I was failing him and so I had to leave before he hurt me?
Could it be that simple?
Duo takes a deep breath.
"Heero- you can leave me whenever you want to... but I need you to know that I don't want you to go." He tilts my head up so that he can look me in the eye. "I love you. You make me happier than I have ever been. I want you to stay, okay? And if you do want to leave you need to give me a better excuse than the idea that you don't make me happy. Because that is not true."
He's smiling, but I can see the faint line that crosses his forehead. His worry-line.
I want to protest that he's not happy with me, but I can't. Because he's right- it's not true. I was wrong to think it was.
"I want to stay."
His smile widens a bit more with relief. "Giving in that easily?"
"I was being stupid. I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't..." Mean it? Realize it? Want to?
Duo just nods. "I'm sorry I hurt you too. I should've been more considerate."
He pulls me back down to his chest and we hold on to each other for a bit longer. I almost lost him- twice. I consider myself lucky to have him still. I won't be careless again.
"We'll talk more? About the important stuff?" He asks quietly.
"Yes." I nod against his chest. "I promise."
He kisses the top of my head again, and I reach up to give him a real kiss. I don't care who comes in. Duo is more important than my fears and I should've realized it sooner.
"I want to go home," he says when I let him go. "I want to go lay down in our bed and talk until midnight and then go to sleep. Then I want to wake up in the morning and watch you make breakfast for me. Then I want..."
"I want you to rest and get better," I interrupt.
"All of that will help me get better." He wiggles his eyebrows at me and drops his voice. "And a few other things..."
"You're injured."
"You're not."
"You should be under medical care for a few more hours."
"There are better things to be under." I roll my eyes at him.
"Duo..."
"Can't we just sneak out?" He pleads.
"Once Sally tells us that you can go, I'll carry you down the back staircase." I promise and he snorts.
"Spoilsport."
"Indulge me." I lean back down, surreptitiously pinning him in place. "Stay here until she clears you and I'll make anything you like for breakfast."
"Anything?" Duo asks.
I sigh. "Within reason."
He slips his arms around me and hugs me close. "That's my Heero."
OWARI
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