If I poke at this part of this one anymore, it's going to have holes... *sigh* Angsty crap warning? With some sappiness?
Make it Back Part 3
".....really upset. She wants to talk to you-"
"I know she does- but I can't. Not now."
The voices were soft, no more than whispers, but they broke through Heero's consciousness. He tried to open his eyes, but they wouldn't cooperate... he was still so tired...
"Duo, you have to talk to her sometime." Quatre scolded softly. "She's waiting outside-"
"I will- I just can't do it now. I promised Heero I'd be here when he woke up- and well... look-" Something tugged gently at his hand, but Heero wasn't letting go- there was some reason that he had to hang on.
Amusement colored Quatre's voice. "Ah- you are sort of stuck, aren't you? It's okay. I didn't know you promised Heero to stay. I'll go talk to her- I've tried to cushion the blow a little- but- she still wants to talk to you."
"Of course- and I will talk to her- after Heero wakes up- I don't want him to wake up and not find me here."
There was a pause. "Did- how did your conversation with Heero go?"
"We didn't really finish it. He wasn't up for it. He needed to rest more than anything else." There was an unhappy sigh. "I hurt him so much... he didn't say it, but I could see it..."
Heero made a greater effort, managed to open his eyes a little. Duo looked exhausted, there were smudges under his eyes- had he been awake all night? Quatre was beside him, a slight frown on his lips that vanished quickly when he noticed that Heero's eyes had opened.
Duo held a water cup to his mouth as Quatre asked: "Heero? How are you feeling?"
The water helped. He managed to twitch his lips into a wry smile. "Crappy."
Quatre smiled back. "Understandable."
Duo reached out and traced his cheek softly. "Go back to sleep, Heero. You need to rest."
He wanted to, but there was something he had to do first. "I heard- Duo needs to go talk to her-" Both of them blinked in surprise. Duo opened his mouth but Quatre was faster.
"She can wait, Heero. I'll explain-"
Heero shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said and let go of Duo's braid. He looked at Duo, trying to find the words to explain. "I didn't know- I wasn't thinking. You need to rest. Go talk to her and then go home- I'm so sorry-"
Duo closed his eyes for a moment. "You aren't the one who should be apologizing." He lifted Heero's hand to his mouth. "I'll go talk to her- but then I'm coming right back here."
"You look tired."
"I can rest here. I'll be back as quick as I can, okay?" Duo glanced at Quatre. "Where is she?"
"I'll take you to her." Quatre squeezed Heero's arm. "Trowa will be here soon. We'll send him in."
Before Heero could reply that he was probably going to sleep anyway, the two of them left the room. Which was just as well- because he found that he couldn't sleep. When they'd been there he'd felt sleepy- but now that they- that Duo- was out of his sight- he just couldn't close his eyes.
It hurt to think about it, but, he just couldn't be sure that Duo would come back.
He stared at the ceiling, willing sleep to come and just block it all out for a bit... The door opened a little and Heero looked towards it, expecting Trowa- and found himself face to face with a nervous looking petite blonde. She looked vaguely familiar and he wondered why. Was she a nurse? Her dark blue eyes widened as they met his and she blushed pink.
"Oh! I'm so sorry- I was looking for my brother-" and with that, he knew who she was.
"Zaina," he said and she took a half step back. "Quatre and Duo just left to find you," he added and her eyes widened even more.
"Oh," she said again and glanced behind her, her hair swirling around her shoulders. "I must've missed them- I went to get some coffee-" She stopped suddenly and took a deep breath, steadying herself. Glancing behind her again, she slipped into the room, closing the door behind her. He saw her expression as she took in the amount of medical equipment around the bed. "How- how are you feeling?"
"I've been better." He told her and saw her lips quirk up into a faint smile.
"Me too." Carefully, she perched on the chair beside his bed. "Though you look worse than me. Quatre said-" he voice wavered for a moment, "he said you almost died- trying to get back?"
"I don't really know," he temporized, wondering what she was really asking. "I don't remember much."
"He said- you'd promised Duo to come back."
"Yes," he said simply and she seemed to crumple in on herself a little. For a moment he wondered if she was about to cry, but then she took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and lifted her head.
"I want to apologize," she said quickly and darted another look at the door. "I've been talking to my brother and I think- that is- I know I've made a few mistakes-"
"I think we all have," he tried, wanting to help her.
"You know- about the plans we- I mean I had-"
"Yes."
"It wasn't him," she interrupted. "It wasn't. This morning, after I talked to Quatre- I went back and looked- and I realized- the running off together- that was all me. He hinted- I could tell when I really looked- that he wasn't going to do it. He doesn't like to hurt people-"
"I know." Heero interjected, but she didn't stop.
"He should have been more direct- but I- it was all me. Please- forgive him-for that and all the rest- none of it meant anything. It just... we were just..."
She paused for a moment and Heero took the opportunity to gain more information. "What was all the rest?"
"Oh," her teeth dug into her lower lip. "Well... my boyfriend, he was so focused on his work all the time, and when he was home, we fought a lot, so I would bitch to Duo and he'd bitch back, and we'd flirt a little..." Her cheeks turned pink again and Heero wondered what 'a little' meant. "But mostly it was just complaining about how we were in love with men who ignored-" Her mouth closed and a horrified expression crossed over her face. "I mean, how I was- that is-"
The door opened before she could say more and Trowa stepped in, looking disturbed at the sight of Heero's visitor. "Zaina? What are you doing here?"
From out in the hallway, Duo's voice echoed: "Zaina? She's in there?" He appeared beside Trowa, his eyes going from Zaina to Heero and back again. "What have you been saying to him?" His tone made Zaina visibly wilt.
"It's all right. She was just looking for her brother- and for you."
"Why don't you take her out to Quatre, Duo? I'll sit with Heero," Trowa suggested and Duo nodded briefly before stalking out of the room. "Quatre's in the waiting room down the hallway- where he left you earlier."
Zaina got up from her chair and gave Heero a small smile before ducking out of the room. Trowa closed the door behind her and let out something that might have been a sigh. He sat down in the chair next to Heero and put his hand on Heero's wrist.
"I hope you didn't take anything she said too much to heart- Zaina tends to dramatize things."
Heero closed his eyes, mind in a whirl. "I don't know what to do," he said and Trowa tightened his fingers for a moment, comfortingly.
"You need time."
"Yes," Heero agreed automatically, but he found the idea welcoming. It was all too much to process- if he had some time- and maybe- maybe Duo needed some time too? To be sure?
Sitting quietly beside him, Trowa didn't say anything more, and so Heero turned the idea over in his mind.
When Duo came back in, quietly taking Trowa's place, Heero was ready. Opening his eyes, he noted Duo's fatigue- if anything he looked more exhausted than he had earlier.
"Duo- go home and get some sleep," he ordered softly, but Duo shook his head.
"I promised you that I'd be here- we didn't finish talking-" His voice was slightly hoarse and it made Heero wish that he could just stick Duo in their bed with a cup of something warm- and just forget everything else.
"I think... I think I need some time before we talk," Heero started and the look that swept over Duo's face made him reach out a hand to cover Duo's. "You need to rest- and so do I. We both need to think- I just- this has all sort of happened so fast-"
"And you need to focus on getting better first." Duo squeezed his hand, his expression lightening a little. "This is too much right now. You need time to sort things out. I understand."
Squeezing back, Heero summoned up a smile. "That's it exactly- and- I want you to be sure of what you want. I think that time will help-"
"I am sure of what I want."
"Right now- but-"
"No 'but'. I want you, however you're willing to have me in your life. I know that- I don't need time on that point." Heero opened his mouth to reply, but Duo shook his head, resting his fingers against Heero's lips.
"Not now. You're right. This needs some time. I just- wanted you to know where I stand."
Heero kissed Duo's fingertips. "I'm standing there too."
TBC...
Back to Merula's Fanfictions Page