Innocence Reclaimed Part 23
Thump... Crash... Thud...
Trowa leapt from the sofa where he'd dozed off, his eyes going to the ceiling. The sound was coming from the room directly overhead, Quatre's room. With a low curse he ran for the stairs. He reached the door to Quatre's room and threw it open, his breath catching in his throat as he flipped the light switch.
The blonde sat on the wooden floor, clad only in a long t-shirt, with his face buried in his hands. The table from beside his bed lay on its side with its contents scattered around him.
"Quatre," The brunette gasped as he moved forward. "What happened?" He knelt beside the other man, his arm slipping around his shoulders.
Quatre didn't reply, only shook his head as he trembled like a leaf under Trowa's hand.
"Here, let me help you up." The brunette said softly as he rose, lifting Quatre to his feet. Sitting the blonde on the bed, Trowa noticed the smudges of blood on the floor from where Quatre had knelt in the shards of glass from the broken lamp that had been on the table. "Stay put." He told the blonde. "I'll be right back."
His mind went over the scene as he rushed from the room to the bath, just down the hall.He must be having the dreams again, he thought as he turned on the hot water and grabbed a first-aid kit from the closet. I thought they had finally stopped. He shook his head as he wet a cloth in the hot water and headed back to the bedroom.
When he entered the room, Quatre looked up at him, his sapphire eyes anguished. "I'm sorry... I-I don't..."
"Shhh," Trowa said kneeling in front of him. "It's okay; we can sort it out later. Right now we need to get you cleaned up."
Quatre hissed as Trowa pressed the warm, damp cloth to his broken skin. "I didn't even realize I had done that." He whispered. "I didn't know where I even was..." He added wincing as the brunette removed a sliver of glass from his leg.
Trowa stopped and looked up at him, smiling slightly. "Dreams can do that to you sometimes. They're very disorienting."
"It's the only logical explanation," Trowa replied simply as he smeared the wounds with an anti-biotic ointment and then placed a thin bandage over them. "There," He stood, placing the small tube back in the kit and offering a hand to the blonde. "All patched. Come downstairs, I'll make you some tea and you can tell me what happened."
Quatre stared at his hand for a moment before taking it and letting Trowa pull him to his feet. For once, he was thankful that the slender brunette had insisted on staying here.
A short time later found the pair in the living room, Quatre sat on the sofa with his feet tucked underneath him; watching Trowa's back as the other stood by the picture window on the opposite side of the room and stared out into the dark. Trowa didn't say a word as he waited for Quatre to collect himself and speak. The blonde had calmed considerably since they came downstairs and he didn't want to say anything that might upset him again.
Quatre took a sip from his steaming cup, his eyes never leaving Trowa's back. Could it be that simple, he wondered silently, after everything that I have put myself through? Has the answer really been right in front of me? Like everyone seems to have been trying to point out to me? He realized with a jolt that he enjoyed watching the slim brunette. He enjoyed being in his company and he found a certain... peace... when he was around Trowa. Why hadn't he seen this before? Why did it take some figment of his imagination to point it out to him?
What do I say to him?
He set the cup aside and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"It was a dream, Quatre. You shouldn't apologize for something you can't control." Trowa replied, still gazing out the window. It took every ounce of strength in him not to go and gather the slim blonde in his arms. He knew that if he turned and looked at him, he would be lost.
"It seems like my life has revolved around dreams, or nightmares, lately. It's like they are trying to tell me something, but I can't seem to understand what they are saying." He let out a short laugh. Quatre fell silent again, turning his thoughts over in his head, not knowing how to say what he felt he needed to say.
What seemed like an eternity passed by as the silence grew heavier, along with Trowa's heart. Every moment that Quatre didn't speak was another moment that Trowa's felt him slipping even further away from him. Damn you, Meia! With a sigh he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window.
Suddenly, light hands slipped around his waist and Quatre rested his cheek against his back, causing Trowa's heart to catch in his throat. "No." The blonde whispered. "I'm sorry."
"I don't..." Trowa whispered.
"Everything I have put you through, all the pain, because I am such a stubborn idiot," came the soft explanation. When Trowa didn't reply Quatre raised his head. "Trowa, look at me."
The brunette made no response as he clenched his eyes shut, trying to block out the wave of bitter pain that washed over him.
Trowa took a breath and slowly turned to look down at the blonde, his breath catching as Quatre slid his arms back around his waist and leaned against his chest. With trembling hands he put his own arms around Quatre's shoulders and leaned his chin on his bright head.
"I had the strangest dream this time..." Quatre started.
"Quatre, you don't..."
"Listen, okay?" The blonde interrupted, as he leaned even more into the embrace. "All of my other dreams were flashes of a past that I don't understand, but always felt that I should. Some of them even came to me when I was awake, and that scared the hell out of me. But this time, it was different. This time, someone spoke to me as if they were really here not just in a dream. She told me too look deep inside myself and find my answers." He looked up at the brunette. "Do you know what I found there?"
Trowa swallowed. "No."
"You," The blonde murmured as he stretched up and pressed his lips to Trowa's.
Trowa tightened his arms around Quatre's shoulders and gasped as the blonde pressed for a deeper kiss, his tongue running lightly along Trowa's bottom lip. His body responded before his mind could and he crushed Quatre to him, parting his lips and allowing the blonde to explore his mouth with tentative caresses.
His blood pounded in his ears as Quatre broke the kiss and moved his lips to the hollow of his throat his fingers unbuttoning Trowa's shirt at the same time. Leaning his head back against the cool, smooth surface of the window Trowa shivered as Quatre's lips followed the path of skin bared by the parted buttons.
"Quatre..." He gasped, twining his fingers in the bright golden strand of hair. "Quatre, stop..." He gathered his will and pushed the blonde away, holding his face in his hands. "Stop," He whispered. "Please." The last word came out as an anguished sound.
"But, Trowa, I want to do this." Quatre murmured, leaning into him.
Trowa stepped aside and away from him, running his fingers through his bangs. "That's the problem. Last time you offered something like this it was for the wrong reasons." He sighed and sat on the sofa. "God knows I want you... but I want all of you, for the right reasons this time." He leaned forward resting his arm on his knees and stared at the carpet. "And I don't want to just have sex with you... I want to love you. I want you with me... always." He closed his eyes and waited for the rejection that he knew would come, like it had so many times before.
He didn't look up as he heard soft footsteps come across the room. When he felt Quatre sit on the sofa beside him he didn't look up. He knew if he did, then the heart he'd been holding together for so long would finally break.
Gentle hands reached around to clasp his shoulders and he felt himself being turned. Opening his eyes he gazed into the fathomless blue of Quatre's eyes. "Trowa," He gently kissed him. "I want to do this. There's nothing I am trying to gain from it; just a chance to be with someone that I have suddenly discovered that I care about, despite my trying not to."
Those words were all Trowa could take. With a strangled sound he reached for the blonde, clinging to him little a drowning man would a piece of driftwood. He trembled violently as Quatre shifted and pushed him back on the sofa, his lips moving along Trowa's throat.
"I think I may love you," The blonde whispered as he pulled Trowa's shirt from his jeans and laid little kisses across his chest. "I'm not completely sure, but I want a chance to find out."
"Quatre!" Trowa gasped as he pulled the blonde up and claimed his mouth.
Quatre grasped his shoulders allowing his body to relax against the length of Trowa's slim form as the brunette relentlessly explored the warm confines of his mouth. He realized as he arched his head back to allow Trowa access to the tender skin of his throat, that this was right... how it should be. Their bodies molded together perfectly as Trowa smoothed his hands down Quatre's back, pulling him even closer.
The blonde moaned lightly as Trowa's fingers found the edge of his shirt and slid his hands under, caressing the smooth skin of his back. "More..." He whispered, his lips finding Trowa's ear. "Touch me more."
Trowa drew back and gazed at him, he eyes heavy lidded with desire. "Not here," He said breathlessly. "Upstairs. I want you in my bed." Trowa set the blonde on his feet and then stood, taking Quatre's hand. With another breathless kiss he turned and led the other man up the stairs to his room.
In his room, Trowa stripped his shirt off and then gathered the blonde to him for another kiss, drawing fevered little moans from Quatre as he nibbled on his lower lip. As Quatre's hands went to the snap on his jeans he tore his mouth away and stepped back.
"Hold on just a sec," He murmured, placing a finger on the blonde's mouth.
Moving quickly he left the room and then returned. Setting the items he'd brought back on the nightstand he then went and started going through his dresser.
"Trowa," Quatre started.
"Just another moment," Trowa said. "Ah!" He pulled a green, thin, silk shirt from the drawer and went to drape it over the lamp by the bed, causing the room to be cast in a soft green glow.
Returning to Quatre, he kissed him lightly before his fingers caught the edge of the t-shirt the blonde wore and started drawing it over his head, leaning down to kiss the exposed skin of his shoulder. "I want to be able to see you," He murmured, tossing the shirt aside.
His hands skimmed down Quatre's arms while he trailed kisses along the curve of the blonde's neck, stopping here and there to nip sharply at his skin, making the blonde gasp and arch towards him.
"P-pants..." He stuttered as Trowa's hand slid along his hip and around, barely grazing his erection. "O-out... n-now!" Not waiting for the brunette to react he stepped back and quickly undid the snap and zipper of Trowa's jeans and started to push them down over his lean hips.
Helping him, Trowa stepped out of the jeans to find himself being turned and propelled back towards the bed. Reaching the edge of the bed, Quatre wrapped his arms around Trowa's neck and pulled him over backwards, pressing their bodies together on the soft mattress.
Quatre murmured restlessly as he moved underneath Trowa's body, pushing their erections together. "Please, Trowa..." He whispered. "Don't wait any longer. We can take all the time we want later."
Trowa kissed him and moved back, all too happy to comply this time. Reaching for the nightstand, Quatre took his hand.
"Let me." He pushed Trowa over on the bed and took a small tube and a packet from the stand and straddled Trowa's legs.
Leaning over he kissed the brunette's stomach, smiling as Trowa gasped and shivered at the contact. Moving backwards, he nuzzled his cheek against the satiny skin of the brunette's shaft before gently placing a kiss at the tip. "You're perfect, you know that?" Quatre murmured before sliding his lips down the length of Trowa's erection.
Trowa cried out and threw his head back against the pillows as he was engulfed in a searing, wet heat, all thoughts of a reply driven from his mind as Quatre started to move his lips up and down his length. As he neared the edge, feeling his body arch and tense, Quatre drew back and ripped the packet in his hand open.
Placing a kiss to the inside of Trowa's thigh, he gently rolled the condom over his erection, smoothing it in place. Then he opened the tube and squeezed some of the slick substance out onto his fingers, leaning up to nip at Trowa's stomach he slid his hand over his length, stroking slowly and coating it with the slippery gel.
Moving back up, Quatre kissed Trowa hungrily. "I'm not going to ask why you had that here," He murmured, with some humor, referring to the lubricant that had so conveniently appeared in his home.
"Good idea," Came the breathless response as Quatre moved back against Trowa's erection.
Trowa placed his hands on Quatre's waist as the blonde positioned himself and then moved backwards, slowly impaling himself. Quatre sucked in a quick breath at the unfamiliar feeling as Trowa slipped past the rigid muscle of his entrance.
"Easy," Trowa gasped. "I don't want to hurt you."
"Trowa," Quatre ground out as his body started to relax and adjust. "Another word and I'm going to gag you!"
"Mmmm... sounds interest-ahhhhh!" His words were cut off as Quatre moved again and slid the rest of the way down his length and pleasure washed over him in icy waves as he was gripped by the tight sheath of the blonde's body.
Quatre felt as if all the air had been expelled from his lungs as he stopped long enough to re-adjust. A gentle hand lifted his bangs from his head.
"Are you alright?" Trowa asked between gasps.
"Help me a little, okay?" Quatre whispered suddenly a bit uncertain. "I've never been on this side of this... I-I'm not..."
Trowa pulled his face down and gently kissed him. As Quatre melted into the kiss, their tongues tangling around each other, his hands slid to the blonde's waist and gently urged him to move. Moving with the pressure of Trowa's hands, Quatre moaned into his mouth as he moved forward and then back, his body now fully adjusted, he felt nothing but pleasure.
Trowa groaned between his teeth as Quatre sat back and took over the movements, allowing his hand the freedom to slide around him and grip his erection. Moving his fingers on the blonde, Quatre shifted slightly and then cried out as he was assailed with a flood of overwhelming sensation. Moving again at the same angle, he hit the same spot again and again, his body arching, going as taut as a bowstring.
As Quatre's body tensed and clamped around Trowa, the brunette opened his eyes. The sight of the blonde arched above him, his head thrown back in a soundless cry as he spilled himself over Trowa's hand and chest was the most beautiful sight the man believed he'd ever seen. Feeling Quatre start to sag forward, Trowa hooked one leg behind his knee and carefully rolled them over, pinning Quatre beneath him.
He leaned down and kissed the blonde as he started to move in strong, sure stokes. Quatre slid his arms around Trowa's shoulders and moved with him until he heard the brunette gasp his name and bury his face against his hair, his slim body trembling like a leaf.
I DO love this man, Quatre realized as a single tear slid from the corner of his eye and he held onto Trowa's shoulders as if he were afraid to let go.
A few moment's later, still struggling to catch his breath, Trowa raised his head and looked into Quatre's clear blue eyes. Afraid to believe the emotion he saw shining in the sapphire depths, he pressed his lips to Quatre's and carefully moved out of his body.
He silently removed the condom and dropped it into the wastebasket by the bed and then took the cloth cleaning both himself and the blonde. Once he finished, he tossed the towel across the room, not caring where it went, and lay back down beside Quatre, pulling him into his arms.
"Quatre, I..." He started and then fell silent, remembering the last time he'd tried to tell the other man of his feelings.
Quatre opened his eyes and looked up into Trowa's anguished green ones. "Please," He whispered. "Say it this time." He drew himself up so that he was leaning across the brunette's chest. "Let me hear that you love me... like I do you."
"Oh god..." Trowa gasped as his heart felt as if it would surely burst. "God, Quatre, I've never stopped loving you!" He whispered brokenly crushing the blonde against him.
"I don't know why, but I suddenly feel that I've loved you longer than I have known you." Quatre said softly, rubbing his cheek against Trowa's; feeling the dampness of the brunette's tears against his skin.
Wah-hoo!!!!! I believe there is only one more part to go!!! An epilogue at that... *warily eyes the muses* As always... as much as I have enjoyed working on this fic... I think I'm happy to see it done.
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