A Life's Time Part 15
Wufei sat in his room, clutching a letter he had just opened. The sheet that Lily had left on his desk told him of some letters in her room that he could access by asking Rika.
He had woken up early that morning to an uneasy feeling. There was no hand on his waist and the body his arm was draped over was still. And he knew, from the too still, too silent girl, that she was gone. Clutching the small body to himself, he forced his own to move and he found himself in front of Duo's and Heero's room, knowing that Sally was most likely in the medical bay much further away.
Heero had noticed first that the girl was too still.
Duo had thought it was a joke, but he'd soon realized the horrible truth.
When he looked up into the utter disbelief within Duo's eyes and the distraught look in the depths of Heero's cobalt orbs, both reflecting his own feelings, his tears began to fall. After walking with the two men down to the medical bay with the girl clutched to his chest, they had found Sally, who seemed to find the truth much harder to accept. They laid the girl down on a bed where Sally covered her with a sheet and softly told them she would immediately inform Lady Une. Wufei recalled the piece of paper Lily had left on his desk just a few hours ago. He had rushed back, found the letters and after delivering the ones addressed to Duo and Heero, he had taken the third one addressed to him, and the fourth addressed to Lily's mother, back to his own room.
He forced his eyes to the letter.
Wufei,I'll forever be grateful that you took me in to Preventers and stood up against Lady Une on my behalf. You have taught me so much that to me, you're the brother that I never had. Even though you didn't have to, you looked after me, cared for me, endured my teasing and childish behavior. Even though you didn't have to, you taught me so much more than was required for me to maintain my job as a decoder here at Preventers. You never complained, never yelled and you were always patient. I wish that I could learn much, much more from you, but I guess, it will happen at another time. I'll cherish the memories that you gave me in the much happier life within this year compared to the life I led with my father.
Please, don't think for a moment that my working at Preventers caused me to leave now. Understand, Wufei, that I chose to do it, for you, for Preventers, for Mama and for others. You gave me peace here and you taught me what it is. You told me how hard you fought for it and I knew, I knew that I wanted to do the same thing. I wasn't trying to be a hero. I simply gave my best for it, and I did so with no regrets. Even though I didn't have a chance to see Mama again, I hope that you will be able to give her my letter, and tell her for me how much I love her.
Wufei, I hope you'll taste the cotton candy and smile. And remember that apple pie is the best dessert that Cook makes. Tell Sally that I said thank you for all that she has done for me and with me. Thank you, Wufei, for holding me when I had nightmares and staying with me as my teddy bear even when I know it was not in your nature to be one.
I have something that I wish for you to have. The picture you'll find enclosed, that Sally took of the two of us at my birthday when you all surprised me with a cake, is for you. I'll always remember your smile.
When I see your pretty dragon, I'll be sure to tell her what a kind warrior you have become.
Thank you, Wufei. I love you, my ge ge. [1]
Lily.
Wufei looked at the picture of the girl dressed in her immaculate Preventers uniform and traced her face with a finger. The tears began to fall again as he closed his eyes, the smiling face ingrained in his mind's eye.
**Flashback**
"Are you sure it's okay for me to live here?"
"Yes, Lily." Wufei knelt down to see the girl better. "We'll get you schooled here and you can learn how to do some decoding. That's what you wanted, right?"
"Cool."
**Flashback**
"Why can't I have ice cream?"
"Because you've got a sore throat."
"But when you hit your head and it's sore you use an ice pack for it. So why can't you use ice cream to soothe a sore throat?"
**Flashback**
"Stop the computer, Wufei!" Sally ordered. "Get it off of her!"
Wufei hurried to comply. "Rika, halt readings."
"Secondary confirmation?"
"Halt readings!"
"Affirmative." Wufei pulled the glasses off the girl and Sally immediately checked for her pulse, then lifted the girl onto the ground, putting her into a recovery position.
"What's wrong?" Wufei knelt close by, aware that Lady Une too, was kneeling by him.
"I don't know," Sally snapped. "Lily, can you hear me?"
"Yes Mama," Lily murmured.
**Flashback**
"You think Mama can remember me when I'm so far away?"
"How could she forget your adorable face?" Wufei tapped the girl on the head. "Mothers don't forget their children."
"What about fathers?"
**Flashback**
"The dragons in my fairytale books back in my old home were scary and breathed fire."
"Not all dragons are bad. Some dragons are here to guard."
Lily smiled and slipped her hand into his. "Your wife, Meiran, must be a pretty dragon."
He smiled, squeezing her hand. "You're probably right."
**Flashback**
"Happy Birthday, Lily!" Sally, Wufei, and several other agents, surprised the girl with a chocolate cake. "Make a wish and blow out the candles," Sally urged.
Lily clasped her hands and closed her eyes. A few moments later, she blew out the nine candles on the cake. "How'd you know it was my birthday?" she asked Sally.
"I know many things about you," Sally winked. Lily smiled as Sally directed her to cut the cake and took several pictures of her. With the doctor's help, Lily managed to place the first cut onto a plate. She looked at Wufei, reaching for his hand to pull him closer.
"I've never had a cake before, but I read in stories that I should carefully choose who gets the first cut," she told him. "Mama's not here, but...I hope you don't mind having the first cut." She smiled shyly at him.
"I'd be honored, Lily." Wufei accepted the plate.
**End Flashbacks**
"Lily," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't bring you to your mother. But by Nataku, I vow I will give her your letter for you."
~*~
"Why?" Duo's tears rolled angrily down his cheek as he clutched the unopened letter in one hand, his face buried against Heero's shoulder. "Why?"
"I can't answer that, Duo," Heero whispered, trying to control himself for Duo's sake. "I wish I knew."
"Damn it," Duo whispered. "She worked so hard to save us. And this is what she gets."
"Duo, don't," Heero whispered. He felt the tears begin to run. He, Heero Yuy, crying, for the little girl that had made her way into their lives and into his heart.
Duo leaned back and wiped Heero's tears. "I wish so hard," he whispered.
"Sh..." Heero wiped Duo's eyes too. "Let's read her letters now," he said.
Duo nodded and turned to his letter as Heero released him to do the same.
Heero,If it were not for you, we wouldn't have won this war. Thank you for keeping us safe. Thank you for helping me keep Mama safe. I am honored to have met you and worked with you, to have learned about you and learned with and from you.
Don't ever, ever let go of Duo, Heero. I may not know much about love, but I hope, I hope so hard that you will stay together and make each other happy. I hope you will find happiness now, Heero. For the time we stayed together, thank you for sharing Duo with me. Thank you for letting me see his smile and touch his braid. I hope that you will never have to fight like this again. Most importantly, I hope that you will begin to hope too. Just don't stop.
Here's a secret for you. I asked Duo if he would ever get married and he said that he might like to give it a try with you. If you do, then I wish you lots of happy flowers. I'm Lily, aren't I?
I don't have anything to give you, but just one smile, maybe one laugh. In my letter to Duo, I called you a teddy bear. I hope that will bring a smile to his face and that is all that I have for you. You'll make him smile on, won't you?
Stay hoping and thank you, for everything. I love you.
Lily.
Heero looked over to Duo who was crying as he read his longer letter. Between the tears, as he neared the end of his letter, Duo's lips twitched and he looked up with a little grin.
"Teddy bear Heero, huh?" Duo asked.
Heero nodded. /Thank you, Lily, for your gift. I promise that I will keep Duo hoping and keep Duo smiling./
~*~
Duo,I have defied time again. Using the Dark Room, I've managed to make my way to find Wufei's pretty dragon sooner than I expected.
Don't cry, Duo. You'll make Heero sad.
I don't think time is all that bad. It's not controlling our lives. Time is our lives. The birth of a new day begins at midnight when the sky is dark. The birth of a new life is a baby in its mother's womb. It is also dark in there, but it isn't unhappy. Why then, you would probably ask, would the beginning of a childhood be shrouded with darkness? Early childhood, Duo. When we don't remember more than little glimpses of our early childhood, signified by the stars to indicate our little memories in time. The sun rises to our earliest memories and noon is the peak of human youth, where we begin to reach for our dreams and find many more. It is when the day is bright with our goals, our wishes, our friends, families and lovers. Dusk is aging and wisdom, when you will sit and relax with Heero and stare out at the sunset, smelling the wind and drinking tea, or maybe beer. The darkness as the sun sets, does indeed, to me, mean that death is coming. It's when you look at the stars, remembering those little memories in your life and each one is represented by one of those sparkling stars.
I knew it was coming, Duo, what's why I say I've defied time. But I wouldn't have had it any other way. You shared so much with me Duo and I don't want to lie to you. Facing death was scary. Knowing when I was going to die, that I was dying, was very scary. But I looked at your smiling face and Heero's and Wufei's, and I knew that those would be my last memories. I have no regrets Duo, because this year at Preventers and this last month with you and Heero, have marked the brightest stars of memories in my life. I stopped fearing.
Don't cry, Duo.
Taste the cotton candy for me and make sure Wufei does too. Make sure that they stay smiling, okay Duo?
I have two things for you. I left my watch on Heero's desk. I know you have Heero's and mine is too small. But I hope you'll keep it and let it keep running. This time around, it means that time is life, love and all the happy things mixed together that make you feel warm. Do you get it Duo? Time isn't controlling you, or anyone else. Time is what makes us more human. Time is where you will make your memories. I'll miss you every minute that we're gone, but hey, time where I am now may pass much quicker and maybe in a blink of an eye, I'll meet you again and you'll make me laugh all over again.
My second gift to you is a secret about Heero. If you ask him to be your teddy bear, he'll do it. And Heero makes a very comfortable teddy bear.
Stay smiling Duo. I don't want to say goodbye. For now, I'll just say goodnight.
I love you, but don't forget to tell Wufei you put the smiley faces on his computer.
Lilykins.
Duo looked up at Heero. "Teddy bear Heero, huh?" Duo asked. His lover nodded and Duo found himself in his lover's arms once more, sniffling to hold his tears. /Just a little bit of crying Lilykins, then I'll stop. I promise./
~*~
They buried Lily in the Preventers graveyard along with the agents and soldiers that died in the two battles led by the New Intelligence faction, facing the ocean where she would see the sun rise in front of her and set behind her before the stars twinkled over her at night. She was dressed in her Preventers uniform and around her neck was Wufei's gundanium necklace, on which her locket and the jade pendant he had bought her now hung. His own piece of jade hung on her necklace around his neck and under her white pillow, he had slipped a copy of the picture she had given him. In her hands, she held white lilies and roses, and around her upper arm was Heero's old watch, just like she had worn it when she had flown in a fighter with Duo.
"You don't mind, do you, Heero?" Duo asked before he had slipped the watch on. Heero shook his head and Duo's touch lingered on Lily's cheek before he touched her braided hair one last time. He had asked Wufei to allow him the honor and as he had braided the soft hair, he had realized why Lily said she didn't have time to grow her hair out. Thinking back, he realized several hints that indicated she knew of her impending death. He lifted her small watch up to his chest, silently vowing to keep it ticking. "Thanks, baby girl," he whispered. "Until later, goodnight."
The agents present at the ceremony carried white roses and lilies. Wufei had asked that there be no dark red roses to symbolize mourning. The bright girl would not want them to mourn.
"Life's gone, just like that," Heero murmured, his hand reaching up to clasp Duo's that held Lily's watch. "So fragile," he whispered. "You were right, Duo, so right about how we are controlled by time."
"No." Duo shook his head and looked at his lover, then at the bright sun overhead. "Life's still just beginning. We've got a life's worth of time now."
~*~
**Two Years Later**
Heero and Duo stood at the entrance to the Preventers graveyard, wondering why Wufei had asked them to meet him there. Their answer came soon when they saw Wufei with another woman dressed like a nurse, who was pushing a wheelchair towards them. A woman in a while dress, with long, dark brown hair and blue eyes sat in the chair, her skin pale. The trio stopped close by the two.
"This is Heero and Duo. They both work for Preventers as well," Wufei introduced the two men to the woman. "And this," he gestured to the woman, "is Annette. Lily's mother."
Duo was the first to reach, offering his hand. "It is a real pleasure to meet you, Annette," he said softly, feeling a familiar clench in his heart when he noticed how much Lily had looked like her mother. Heero quickly followed in offering his hand.
"It's a pleasure," Annette replied softly. "Thank you, for all that you have done for my daughter." In her hand, the two noticed a letter and a white lily.
They made their way to Lily's grave where Annette bent with Wufei's support to place the flower on the ground since the nurse politely stepped back to give them a private moment. "You keep it so clean," she commented to the three men around her. Not knowing what to say, the three opted not to answer and simply looked at the grave where a picture of the smiling girl looked back at them. "I have almost no memory of my little girl," she whispered softly. "But she looks so happy. She spoke highly of you three in her letter. Thank you, all of you for finding me, persevering to talk to me and for bringing me here. Thank you so much."
Wufei shook his head. "Please don't. It is with our deepest sympathies that we must bring you here to see Lily," he whispered.
"No." Annette shook her head. "Please don't say that." She gently touched Wufei's hand. "Thank you so much, Wufei, for everything. I will be leaving soon, for treatment elsewhere now that I am healthy enough to travel. Please, will you keep her grave clean?"
"We would even if you didn't ask, Annette," Duo whispered. "Lily was an angel to us."
Annette smiled. "Thank you." The nurse came forward at her beckoning, and with a lingering look, Annette was pushed away.
Heero's arm slid around Duo's pulling his lover close as he felt the braided man sigh. Duo, in turn, slipped his arm around Wufei's shoulder to lend their comrade some support.
"I did it, Lily," Wufei whispered. "I brought your mother here." He offered a slight smile. "You're welcome."
"That's right, Lily," Heero answered. "And Duo and I will be getting married soon. Guess you saw that coming up, didn't you? We've decided to decorate with lilies as the theme. You wished me happy flowers, and you are our happiest flower."
Duo thought he could hear a whisper as the breeze blew by them. "That's right, Lilykins," he murmured. "The cotton candy tasted great, didn't it Wufei?"
Wufei recalled the treat. "That's right, Lily." He smiled at the girl, fingering the necklace under his collar. "It tasted great. But I bet you already know that now, don't you?"
The breeze ruffled their hair and the three smiled. In their minds they could hear the girl's giggle and the sun above their heads brought the same warmth to them that her smile had.
/This time around, Lilykins,/ Duo lifted his head up towards the sun and smiled. /This time around, I'm ticking the time away. With every smile, every laugh and every memory caught in a moment of time, I know that I've got a life's time laid out for me. Until then.../
"Goodnight, baby girl," Duo whispered to the wind.
OWARI
[1] ge ge - this is Mandarin for older brother.
Here is the end of "A Life's Time". Hopefully, the symbolism by the watches, the idea of the day, life and the various measurements of time all equivalent to life and other small things, were clear within the story. Again, this entire idea and all characters outside of Gundam Wing are my own creation and any parallels are purely coincidental. Thank you for reading and I hope it brought insight to you, as it did for me in the process of writing it. I truly believe that we have a life's time to smile, to laugh, to love and experience; and to create memories.
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