Author: Zazu
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Pairings: 1+2+1
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, nor do I own the characters. I have borrowed them here for some fun and creativity, and this is not for profit. I do, however, own the plot mentioned here, and any instances that you may find similar to real life events are purely a coincidence.
Notes: Not beta-read.
Teach Me Happiness
Duo always thought that the bell above the door was a moot point. The bell was so small that it could hardly be heard all the way at the back where the bartender was. The rest of the staff was so busy moving about that they rarely heard it unless they happened to have been walking by; and even then they'd notice the person walking right into them rather than the sound of that small bell.
He'd spoken to the owner to have it removed, but all he had received was a laugh and a beer in his hand.
His usual seat at the side of the bar was vacant; most of the patrons were seated at tables. Smiling at one of the waitresses grinning in greeting, he let her pass before making his way up to the bar.
"Hey Howie," Duo greeted the bartender and owner. "Got something cold for me?"
"Duo!" Howard turned with a broad grin. "Is it Friday night already?"
"Yup." Duo settled on the stool. "I figured you'd be counting your days, now that you own and work at Sweepers the Pub and not the group."
"I am," Howard sighed, reaching below to the fridge for a can. "I must have lost count with time passing so slowly. I thought it was Thursday."
"Ever going to take that bell off the door? You didn't hear it did you?"
"No, and no," Howard said. "It's a part of the establishment, leave it alone." He handed Duo a can. "Here, try this one. I'm thinking of importing it from one of the colonies."
Duo studied the can then tried it. He coughed as he swallowed. "Howie, man, which colony is this from? It's got more alcohol than my usual choices, right?"
"Yup. L3."
"You're not trying to get me drunk too fast, are you?" Duo asked, one eyebrow arched. "I mean, the night is young and I've yet to pick someone up. Unless this sells for the same price as my usual and you're just trying to help me save money."
"It costs a little more, but this one is on me," Howard replied. "And don't tell me about picking someone up. This place has been open for seven months and I've yet to see you leave with anyone but yourself. Or me, when I take you home after you get drunk on your ass."
"Not my fault everyone likes to buy me drinks," Duo huffed. "And how do you know that I don't want you to take me home?" he asked teasingly.
Howard lowered his sunglasses to look at Duo. "You and I both know nothing will come out of a relationship between us, Duo Maxwell. You like your men and I like my ladies."
"Maybe you'd get some ladies if you didn't wear your sunglasses and let them see your beautiful eyes," Duo chuckled.
"They happen to be very much attracted to my sense of style and the mysterious glasses," Howard retorted, leaning against the counter. "And they are very much blown away by the sight of my eyes when I do let them see past these shades."
"Right," Duo took another swig of his drink, looking around. "Anything happen this week?"
"Nothing unusual," Howard replied. "You?"
Duo shrugged. "Same old. The Sweepers are coming by next week to dump a shipment in my yard. You might want to be ready for them when they come in here." He eyed the drink in his hand. "You might want to speed up the import for these ones," he added. "Knock them out faster before they cause too much ruckus in here."
Howard laughed. "As if you won't be here with them. Causing the most ruckus too."
Duo slid a hand into his pocket, grinning. "And just how would I get into conflict with them, when you pointed out not ten minutes earlier that I like someone with a flat chest and something big between their legs, as opposed to what the rest of you Sweepers prefer?"
"Starting your night language early, Maxwell, the drink must be really good then," Howard shot back.
"Hit me with another one," Duo said, crushing the can in his fist and leaning over the counter to toss it at the recycling bin.
"I hope you'll let me pay for it," a voice spoke up behind him.
Duo turned before leaning back; as he'd suspected the man was standing close enough that he'd have backed right into him. Twisting around, he managed to move to the side before straightening.
"You don't mind if I buy you a drink, do you?" the blond man asked. "My name is Jake." What's yours?"
"Duo."
"Duo Maxwell? Maxwell Salvage?"
"That's the one." Duo nodded. "You don't look local."
"You're sharp," Jake replied, looking Duo up and down. "I've a meeting with you and your partner next Monday morning."
"Ah," Duo nodded. "Jake Sullivan from Capri Trade."
"That's right." Jake took a seat next to Duo's stool, so Duo sat down as well. Howard brought them each a beer, and Jake lifted his in salute. "And I'm not here to speed up the deal and negotiations."
"Good," Duo said. "Because that would just leave a poor impression." They both drank from their bottles.
Another customer waved Howard down, leaving Duo alone with Jake. "So," Jake said. "I was just sitting at that table." He gestured to the one closest to their current seat. "And I couldn't help but hear of your...preferences in partners."
Duo offered a cool smile. "You were eavesdropping? Or are you implying that I speak a little too loudly?"
"Let's just say I've got pretty good ears and overheard you." Jake was staring at Duo's neck, but his eyes drifted down Duo's chest to rest at his hip area. "You can say that I share similar preferences."
"Look man, if you want to have a drink together, I'm cool with it," Duo said, lifting his own beer. "But I'm not really here to find company other than to chat with the bartender."
"That's unfortunate," Jake said with a laugh. "But the night is still young."
Duo shrugged. "I'm just pointing out that if you're looking for that sort of company with me, you're wasting your time."
Jake tapped his beer against Duo's. "We'll see about that." He was about to say more when he pulled out a flashing phone. "Excuse me," he said before standing to take the call.
Howard came back. "He the company you're looking for tonight?"
Duo stared at Howard, then tilted his head. "Is that a rhetorical question? I'm sure you know the answer to that."
Howard laughed. "You never know, there could be exceptions."
"The only exception to the company I would take would be..."
"A certain someone who disappeared almost a year ago."
Duo shrugged. "Old news."
"It has been a year," Howard pointed out. "You might never see him again."
"Or I might," Duo said.
"Maybe it's time to let go, Duo."
"Maybe it's time to let this conversation go. Why do we have to talk about this every other week?" Duo asked. Then, he sighed. "Sorry, Howie. It's just taking longer than I expected to...let him go." He knew that he said that every time they had this conversation.
Howard sighed and offered Duo another bottle of beer along with a dish of snacks. "Okay. I guess it doesn't help if I keep bringing him up too." He looked up and stopped speaking, and a moment later, Jake sat down again.
He set a hand on Duo's thigh. "Sorry about that."
Duo removed the hand, holding it up. "You don't take hints very well, do you?" Duo asked.
"Call me ambitious," Jake leaned closer. "I like to try hard to get what I want. That way, even if I don't get it, I won't ever regret that it was for my lack of trying."
His words made sense to Duo so he relaxed. "Fair enough." He tapped his beer against Jake's this time. "Good luck in your other endeavours, then."
"Thank you," Jake replied. "Anyway, I'm just finishing up my beer here. My co-worker just called and it seems that he left his hotel key in my room when we were finalizing our proposal for Monday." He downed his beer and stood, digging his payment from his pocket. "See you Monday then, Duo Maxwell."
"See you," Duo said with a wave.
"I bet you it was his wife calling," Howard said as he took the credits from the bar top. "That's why he laid off fairly quickly."
"Why do you think he would be lying?" Duo asked.
"I think it's because I saw the caller ID when he held up his phone." Howard said, hands moving in a practiced manner as he mixed a drink. "It said 'Wife'."
Duo laughed. "That should get him back to the hotel pretty quickly." He looked at Heero's concoction with interest. "That looks pretty cool," he said, staring at the blue liquid. "What is it?"
"Angel Wings," Howard replied. "Want to try?"
"Sure." Duo nodded. "Come to think of it, I've rarely tried any of your drinks. Always just beer and pre-bottled things."
"Maybe it just took you some time to trust whoever is behind the bar," Howard mused as he mixed the drink for Duo. "I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case."
"I trust you, Howie," Duo protested.
"Which is why I'm mixing your drink right now," Howard said dryly. "Here, try it."
Duo was about to take a sip when he heard the bell from the door. He could hear it even if Howard couldn't, but he generally didn't take notice of the tinkling bell as it swung wildly when the door was opened.
But this time, there was barely any sound; whoever was entering or leaving was doing so either in a cautious manner, opening the door slowly.
He almost choked on the alcoholic drink; thankfully he'd only taken a small sip, as blue eyes glanced about the room before meeting his.
"Heero Yuy," Duo breathed.
Heero walked over to Duo and took a seat next to him. "Duo," he said softly.
"Heero," Duo could hear the surprise in his own voice. "What..." He had a lot of questions. What was he doing there? Where had he been? What did he want? "What are you up to, man?" he finally asked.
"I was looking for you," Heero said quietly. "Are you with someone?" he asked, looking about. "The seat is warm. Was someone sitting next to you?"
"He's gone now," Duo replied. "You were looking for me?"
Heero nodded, then greeted Howard. "Howard," he said with a nod. "How have you been?"
"Not too bad, and yourself?" Howard asked, handing Heero another blue drink. "It's the same thing Duo is drinking," he added.
"I'm fairly well," Heero answered.
"What brings you to L1?" Howard asked.
"Maxwell Salvage Yard," Heero replied. "I know that next week there'll be a shipment coming from the Sweepers, and there's someone from Capri Trading who managed to sneak something into the shipment and wants it back."
"Wait, how do you know what's going on at my yard?" Duo asked, gripping his glass.
"I..." Heero sighed. "I've been working Intel in Sanc and tracing certain alloys was a part of my job."
"Sanc," Duo said softly. "It means...Relena?"
Heero nodded.
"She never said anything about knowing where you were!" Duo said incredulously. She knew I was looking for you, too!
"I asked her not to tell anyone."
Duo stared at Heero, then looked away, downing his drink. It burned down his throat and he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Thanks for letting me know what's coming and what to look out for. I know what to do." He stood. "Howie, throw that on my tab. See you later."
"Sure thing, Duo." Howard replied, taking the glass.
Heero had only taken a sip from his own drink and he dug into his pocket for payment before tossing it down, not waiting for change as he followed Duo.
"Duo, wait." Heero strode alongside Duo. "Let me finish."
"I think I can take care of my own business," Duo said. "Thank you for providing me with that intelligence. You could have sent me a message, or sent someone with the message if it was that sensitive. You didn't have to come all the way here for it."
"Duo?" Heero stopped, sounding confused. "I thought I could come and see you too. Besides, there are not a lot of people that I work with whom I would trust with this information."
"Come and see me?" Duo asked. "After having vanished for a year? I thought you were lying in a ditch somewhere, dead!" Duo shook his head, braid swinging behind him. "Who was I kidding? It would have taken a lot to kill Heero Yuy after the war. What was I worried for?"
"You were worried?"
"Damn right I was!" Duo exploded. "A lot of people were! Relena Peacecraft has some nerve, hiding you away like that!"
"I asked her to, Duo."
"Then go back! You've given me your news now!" Duo glared at Heero. In the single year that had passed Heero had grown a little taller but he was still as muscular as he had been; Duo could tell that he worked out frequently.
"I thought we could catch up."
Duo stared. "You vanished for a year without notice and you show up wanting to catch up?" Duo looked away. "As if you don't know my comings and goings. You even know what transactions I have been preparing for in my company."
Heero frowned. "Why are you so angry?"
"Why?" Duo asked. "Because I thought you were my friend, and friends don't vanish like that!"
"Was it wrong of me to want to build my own life first?" Heero asked quietly. "Was it wrong for me to have to learn how to live first?"
That left Duo speechless. The anger drained from him as he lifted his head and looked at Heero again. "No," he said hoarsely. "I guess not." I just thought we would learn together. "Have you, then? Learned to live in this peace?"
Heero nodded slowly. "Learning," Heero said.
Duo turned away. "Come on," he said gruffly. "My place isn't too far. Come and we'll talk."
They made their way to Duo's house at the edge of the salvage yard. Retrieving two bottles of beer from his fridge, Duo opened them and handed one to Heero.
"Aren't you too young to be drinking alcohol?"
"I don't exactly know how old I am," Duo said. "Assuming I was maybe sixteen by the end of the first war, and seventeen at the end of the second, eighteen in this past year, I'd say I'm about nineteen now, or just about. The way I see it, I'm old enough to own my own business; therefore I'm old enough to drink beer."
Heero nodded. "Have you been well?"
Duo shrugged. "Are you telling me you really don't know?"
"If you're implying that I may have spied on you..."
"Haven't you?"
"Only a little."
Duo shook his head and sighed. "Business first. The Sweeper deal. How did it happen?"
"Capri bought one of the Sweepers over and he loaded what they wanted onto the ship."
"Who?"
"Goes by the nickname Skinny."
"No kidding," Duo said, recalling the man's face. "I'll tell Big Dog to check it out before they land. He can get authorities there at the space port."
Heero nodded. "The Gundanium needs to go to Quatre. One of his subsidiaries is linked with the ESUN and is responsible for disposing of the Gundanium."
"Right." Duo nodded. "Gundanium, huh. I wonder what he wanted with it. Or how they got their hands on it. I thought that most people were sick of war; the peace hasn't been around all that long yet."
"Duo?"
"Yes?"
"Are you happy?"
No, Heero. "I guess."
"Learning to live was hard," Heero said. "No more orders, no more fighting. Suddenly there was just...nothing."
"You chose to see that there was nothing," Duo said softly. "I saw life at peace. I saw possible friendship, companionship. Saw a chance to live, to put my past behind me."
Heero sighed. "I was brought up to be a killer, Duo. Before Doctor J, I was trained to be an assassin. I grew up with a professional. I didn't know how to live. Relena...helped me. I had left at first, not knowing where to go, but in the end, I ended up at the beach where I'd first met her, wondering if that was my starting point on Earth. She happened to be there too, and so I followed her back to Sanc."
"You and Relena," Duo said softly. "Are you happy now?"
"Maybe." Heero said. "I feel like I'm doing something. I feel fulfilled I guess. Happy? I don't know, Duo. What's it supposed to be like?"
"I don't know," Duo closed his eyes, leaning back on the couch. "I guess it's...when you feel like you're whole. When you don't think you're missing anything in your life. When you have no regrets if you were to suddenly die."
"Is that how it is?" Heero asked.
"I don't know, Heero," Duo let out a breath. Why do you expect me to know?
"How is Hilde?"
"Fine."
"Are you...getting married soon?"
Duo turned to stare at Heero. "Come again?"
"Marrying soon?"
"Who, me and Hilde? Are you kidding?"
"No. Why would I be?"
"We weren't together to begin with." Duo took another drink from his beer and sighed. "She's dating someone else."
"Ah," Heero said. "Right. You're...you don't like women."
Duo blinked. "And why do you say that?"
"At Howard's place, the seat next to you. You said 'he' left."
"When I said 'he', I meant Jake Sullivan, who came to buy me a drink."
Heero's eyes narrowed. "He's from Capri."
"I know. But he said he wasn't there to talk business. I'm not so sure now, but regardless, I'll call Big Dog tomorrow and make sure he knows what's going on. I'll speak to Hilde, too." Duo held up his now-empty bottle. "If you need a place to crash, I've a spare bedroom. Feel free to use it. I've had a long week, so I'm going to go to bed. If you want anything else, help yourself to it." Duo stood. "Thanks for letting me know, for...not letting my company crash."
Heero caught Duo's hand. "Duo..."
Duo looked down at Heero.
"I...Thanks. For letting me stay." He let Duo go.
"You're welcome." Duo went to the kitchen to set his empty bottle down by the kitchen sink and then went to his room.
For a long time that night, Duo lay awake, knowing that Heero was in the room just across his hall. He rolled over to his side, turning his back to the door. He should be glad that Heero was here, that Heero was safe. He should have called the others, to let them know that Heero had stopped by.
He couldn't help but wonder how much longer Heero would have stayed away, stayed hidden, if it weren't for a threat to his company.
It felt like he'd only been asleep a minute when he heard someone open his door. He could tell that it was Heero who stepped into his room so he shifted and sat up.
The moment he did, Heero was on the bed, arms wrapped around him from behind.
"Heero?!"
Heero held him tightly, even though Duo wasn't struggling. "Duo...I'm sorry."
"What for?" Duo asked, stiff in Heero's embrace.
"Until I saw you and spoke to you, I hadn't realized that by disappearing I'd hurt you."
Duo turned his head away. "Who am I to you?" he asked softly. No one. "You don't have to tell me what you're doing."
Heero shook his head, chin rubbing against Duo's shoulder. "You said that to be happy was to feel like I'm whole. To not feel like something is missing. To not have regrets if I suddenly died. I didn't have that feeling, until...today."
"Heero..."
"Listen to me," Heero whispered. "I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong. I know what I did in the past year was perhaps wrong, but I only followed my emotions. Dealt with one obstacle at a time. Then, when it was cleared, I needed to find a way to come to you. A reason, because I didn't know how I could just show up here with...nothing. Capri and the Gundanium gave me the reason...the confidence to come here."
Duo heaved a breath. "You didn't need a reason, Heero. Your showing up wouldn't have been for nothing, or with nothing. But you might want to let go now, before Relena sees this and gets angry."
"Relena?" Heero pulled back. "What do you mean?"
"Aren't you together?"
"No!" Heero exclaimed. "Relena...she helped me. She's a good friend. Nothing more."
"What does that mean?" Duo asked, turning to face Heero. "What does...this mean?"
"If being happy was what you had described to me...it's what I am feeling now. I want to follow that emotion, but...I can accept that I can't follow it if you don't feel the same way, or don't want to."
"You..." Duo looked Heero in the eye. "Are you blackmailing me with your happiness?"
Heero's eyes widened. "N-no! I..." Heero suddenly stood from the bed, but this time, Duo caught his wrist and stopped him.
Duo stared down at his bed, gripping Heero's wrist. Do I dare? "Heero...do you know what you're asking for? Do you really...understand what it means?"
"I think so," Heero whispered. "To miss you, to think about you and wonder what you are doing, who you're with...I don't want that anymore. To die now, without regrets...I can do that knowing that I've found you now."
Duo got onto his knees and hugged Heero around the waist, pressing his face against Heero's chest. "You'll...stay?"
"If you'll let me."
Duo hugged Heero tighter. "Stay," he whispered. "Stay, Heero. Make me whole too."
Heero hugged Duo back, his hand snaking down to hold Duo's braid. "Duo...?"
"Hm?"
Heero pulled back although he didn't let go of the braid. Leaning down, he rest their foreheads together. "Teach me...how to love you and show you that I do."
Duo smiled.
"Let's teach each other."
OWARI
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