Author: Zazu
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Silliness, Dialogue fic
Pairings: 1+2+1
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, nor do I own the characters. I have borrowed them here for some fun and creativity, and this is not for profit. I do, however, own the plot mentioned here, and any instances that you may find similar to real life events are purely a coincidence.
Notes: Not beta-read. Dialogue fic inspired by Jana and her comment about Heero's reaction to the phrase 'kiss my ass'.
Figures of Speech
"Duo..."
"Leave me be. I want to drink my soda and you are not stopping me."
"That stuff will rot your teeth and stomach."
"One! I haven't had one all week because of you!"
"For your own good."
"If I have to suffer craving for soda another day I can tell you that giving it to me would do a lot more good."
"...Take a sip of that and...I'll take something else from you."
"Like...?"
"You know. You won't like it. Even if I have to deprive myself of it, you won't get any."
"...I don't like to be threatened or challenged, Yuy. Especially not when it comes to depriving me of something I like. Do it and I will kick your ass."
"Why?"
"What do you mean, why?"
"Why would you kick my ass? That would be pretty ineffective in trying to hurt me. It'll hardly hinder me once I get my balance back."
"I'll make it hurt, then. Your pride, your ego, something will suffer."
"I'd like to see you try. Now throw that can away."
"Kiss my ass."
"..."
"He-Heero! What the hell? One moment you're threatening to deprive me and the next you're trying to rip my pants off!"
"You said 'kiss my ass'."
"I didn't mean literally! It was a figure of speech!"
"...You didn't mean it?"
"No...Yes!"
"So do you want me to?"
"Yes, and a lot more. Just let me put this down before I spill it all over you and waste it."
"Throw it out."
"The hell I will. I'm saving it for later. I've a cast iron stomach from living on the streets and it can certainly survive some soda."
"Cast iron stomach? They modified you?"
"Oh for the love of...Shut up and cut to the chase."
"What chase? Maybe it is better to let you have that soda. Clearly you're getting confused."
"...Just kiss me goddamnit!"
OWARI
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