Author: Sunhawik
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: None
Warnings: Humor, dialogue fic
Disclaimer: I don't own GW.
Resume
Hey Wufei, does 'demolition expert' sound better than 'deconstruction specialist'?
Depends on the context, Maxwell... what are you doing?
Making out a resume.
For what? HR supplies your qualifications resume in your personnel file...
I'm looking for a job.
You're... what? Why?
I'm quitting this one. Une says the Board wants me to pay for that water tower, and that's just bogus.
Duo, you can't just quit over some budgeting issues...
This is more than just some stupid budget crunch, man... have you ever priced a water tower?
Uh... no, I can't say I have. But...
Well, they're damn expensive. And it was totally not my fault! Where did they expect me to land? On the Little League diamond? In the middle of play-offs?!
I'm not sure you can call what you did 'landing', but...
Now see! That's just what Une said! Well, the hell with that! I'm looking for a job somewhere else, where I can get a little bit of respect!
Duo, you have all the respect in the world here, but you have to admit that you're something of an accounting nightmare...
You are such a company stooge! You want to tell me where you would have ditched a flaming helicopter?
I think the point is the part where it was flaming to start with...
And that was my fault, how? I was just supposed to let the guy with the flame thrower set fire to a grade school?
Well, no, but have you ever heard the analogy 'using a sledgehammer to swat a fly'?
If all you have is a damn sledgehammer, you use the freaking sledgehammer!
Ok! Ok! Never mind the growing list of expenses... just where do you think you're going to go to find another job?
I was thinking about that; Heero and I were watching this show the other night about these guys who take down skyscrapers with explosives. I'm thinking I could qualify for that...
Duo, you could do that job in your sleep with one-arm tied behind your back. Blind-folded. Do you seriously think that sort of job would keep you challenged after like... day two?
You have any better ideas? Because it's either that or firefighter, and Heero says they'd probably make me cut my hair.
...
See? Not a lot of options out there, are there?
I suppose you've got the mind for research and development... it would be a cinch for you to test your way into a degree program. What about going into robotic engineering?
W...what?
School. Why not go back to school? Your options are only limited because you let them be.
Wait... what are you saying?
Your vision isn't broad enough... you know more than just explosives.
Are... are you trying to get rid of me?
I'm not the one who said they weren't happy here...
Who said I wasn't happy?! What the hell, Chang? Are you looking for a new partner?
Well, I suppose if you're quitting, I'll have to look into it. Heero mentioned that Barton is talking about transferring to L4, and if he does, that will leave Heero without a partner too...
Too? Too?! My freaking chair isn't even cold yet, you jerk!
Speaking of... could I have that black filing cabinet when you leave? It's the best one in the office and...
I... I don't even believe you! That's just... just, cold, Chang.
It's practical, Maxwell. If you're just going to turn tail and run away from a bunch of money-grubbing bureaucrats, why shouldn't I make the most of a bad situation?
Who says I'm running away from anything?!
Uhmm... the part where you're down here writing your resume instead of upstairs in Commander Une's office fighting this thing?
My follow-up isn't until two o'clock! Heero is up there right now... oh, hi Heero. Done already? How'd it go?
Fine, Commander Une sees your point now.
She sure as hell didn't seem to be seeing my point when I was up there explaining it to her!
That's because you tend to explain things at volume with somewhat inappropriate gestures. The Commander just needed to have some figures clarified. Turns out that the cost of a water tower is less than the potential cost of seventy-five Little League families suing Preventers for damages. Not to mention the bad publicity.
Uh... so... does that mean I'm off the hook for the water tower?
Yes, you're off the hook for the water tower. And the helicopter too.
Sweet! You want to take a late lunch? My treat?
Sure... why not? You coming Wufei?
...
What? What the hell's that look, Chang?
Does that mean I don't get the filing cabinet?
OWARI
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