Author: Sunhawk
Pairings: 1x2, implied 5x6
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Humor, dialogue fic
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.
Well, I have Friday night guilt again. So I have this silly little dialogue thingie. For your amusement? I hope? >_> Well, it amused me anyway...
Office Gossip
'Hey Maxwell... I think there's something you should know...'
'Somehow I highly doubt it's anything I want to know, Smith.'
'No, seriously, you should know what's going on behind your back.'
'Seeing as how my back is to the wall right now, I don't think there's anything going on back there I don't know about.'
'Funny, asshole. I'm just trying to do you a favor...'
'Do me a favor and go back to your office and let me work.'
'Fine, but if it was my boyfriend, I'd want...'
'Heero is not my 'boyfriend', Smith. We're pushing thirty... I think we're a little past that sort of high school cutesified jargon, don't you? Heero is my partner.'
'God, you're impossible. Fine... if I were you, I'd want to know what my partner was doing in the downstairs meeting room...'
'Meeting?'
'...with Chang Wufei!'
'I repeat; meeting?'
'With the door locked and the lights off?'
'Uh-huh... that's nice.'
'Are you not listening to me, or are you as naïve as you look?'
'I gave up naïve for my day job. And speaking of jobs... don't you have one you ought to be doing?'
'Don't you care that your boy... partner is downstairs fooling around behind your back?'
'If I said I was, would you go away?'
'I don't believe you! How can you be so calm about this? You and Yuy have been together for almost ten years!'
'Look, Smith... while I appreciate the concern that is thinly veiling your obvious addiction to office gossip, I assure you there is nothing to worry about.'
'And what makes you so sure?'
'Listen closely here, because I'm going to go over this once and then you are going to take yourself the hell out of my office and let me get back to work. One, Heero and I are in a committed relationship. Two, Heero is an honorable man. Three, Heero would never make a move on another person. Four, if another person were to make a move on Heero, Heero would cut off their balls and feed them to said person in a nice soy sauce. Ergo... no illicit office affair between Heero and anybody, much less Chang Wufei who is, five... also an honorable man. Is all that clear? Because I don't see you leaving.'
'God, Maxwell... you are so blind.'
'Blind? What? Duo... are you all right?'
'Fine, Heero. Don't mind this idiot... he was just leaving.'
'Yuy! You should be ashamed of yourself!'
'Uh... why?'
'He thinks you're having an affair with Chang.'
'Am I supposed to be having an affair with Chang?'
'Thad Jones says you were just downstairs locked up with Chang in the meeting room!'
'No... I just came down from a meeting with Commander Une and Inspector Noin. You can check with the Commander's secretary if you'd like...'
'Damn that Jones! I have to go find him. See you guys around.'
'Not if I see you first...'
'What the hell was that all about?'
'Nothing, just stupid office gossip.'
'Think he's going downstairs?'
'Maybe; who knows with that guy? Why?'
'I should probably call Wufei and warn him.'
'Call Zechs' phone instead... you know Wufei won't answer.'
OWARI
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