Author: Sunhawk
Pairing: 1+2
Warnings: Dialogue fic
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own GW.
So it's February... And I probably ought to post something anyway... *grin* But terraharpel is having a birthday and had sent out a call for birthday fic, which I tried and... think I failed miserably at. (There were guidelines... which I sort of spaced on. >_> Oooops?) So we shall just call this birthday fic for the entire month of February, throw around some streamers and confetti and try to disguise the fact that this is just a ficlety dialogue thing instead of... you know... real fic. Like it was supposed to be.
So happy birthday Terra and Kracken and Chicken-crazed and Stormy and Aya Maxwell where ever you are! Oh hell... and happy UNbirthday to everybody else!
*tosses streamers and confetti and balloons and hands out Dew and cake with abandon*
*throws lame ficlet*
*runs away*
Meow?
'I don't want to hear it, Winner, so just go the hell away and leave me alone.'
'You flatter yourself, Yuy, if you think I care what you want.'
'Fuck off, asshole.'
'You want to tell me why you're trashing your office?'
'One, I'm not trashing my office, I'm packing. And two... no, I don't want to tell you a damn thing.'
'This have anything to do with Duo's little... incident today?'
'What this has to do with is none of your business.'
'Since I'm the one who will end up patting Duo's hand when he gets out of the hospital and finds you gone, then yes... this has everything to do with me.'
'Duo doesn't need either of us to pat his God damn hand... he has Agent 'Beach Boy' Rusch for that.'
'Beach Boy? What in the hell... never mind; Charlie Rusch is not patting any part of Duo Maxwell, Heero.'
'News flash, Mr. Naïve as Hell... Rusch is the one Duo wanted at his side when the shit hit the fan this afternoon.'
'Naïve as...? You've been spending entirely too much time around Duo, Yuy. Is that what this is all about? You're in a snit because...'
'I do not have 'snits', Winner. Call it what it is... I'm pissed off.'
'Because Duo... did what?'
'Look, I said I didn't want to discuss this.'
'And I said we're going to discuss it anyway, so let's just cut to the chase and get this over with. Save us both a lot of time and trouble. We're already half way there... you're pissed off at Duo, why?'
'You are an annoyingly tenacious, over-bearing asshole, just for the record. I am pissed off because I was there this afternoon with Duo when the newbie got tangled in the trip wire. I was the one holding the damn lever on the grenade to keep it from exploding, while we waited for the bomb squad to come and get Duo out of there.'
'And then you decided you needed to leave the scene of the crime to come and pack your office?'
'Duo decided I needed to leave the damn scene of the damn crime when he started screaming for damn Rusch to come and take over my damn position!'
'Heero, while the dramatic tossing of heavy objects into the box at key verbal moments is very well timed, it's also overkill, so knock it off before you break something.'
'Maybe I want to break something, asshole.'
'We're still working on your anger management here, Yuy. Finish your story so I can get on with slicing your reasoning to ribbons and we can all get back to what we were doing before you decided to throw your first ever five-year old inspired temper tantrum.'
'Sadistic bastard; what more is there to tell? Duo obviously prefers the company of Mr. Blonde and Tanned to mine. He did everything but threaten to shoot me to get me out of Rusch's way. I am pissed off because I thought Duo and I were partners and he trusted me to have his back.'
'Ah. I see. This is a snit... a jealous snit.'
'Jealous? I thought we went over this... I'm pissed. Jealousy has nothing to do with...'
'Oh yeah... slicing and dicing now. You are aware that Charlie boy is as straight as an arrow, and if you have any doubts, we can go down to the lunch room and take a general poll... I understand he's sleeping with half the secretarial pool.'
'Ever hear of bi-sexuality? Just because...'
'Save it, Yuy. We can talk to Mack Peterson while we're down there. He's been trying to get into Charle's pants for the last two years and reports that they don't come any more homophobic.'
'It doesn't matter. I told you I'm not jealous. Besides, that has nothing to do with what Duo wants...'
'Please. Duo is so head over heels in love with you, little hearts appear over his head whenever he looks at you.'
'Oh really? You're delusional, Winner. If he's so taken with me, don't you think I'd be the one he wanted with him in a crisis?'
'Of course not, you moron. The position you were occupying was the position that stood a good chance of getting blown to kingdom come with him if things went wrong. He didn't want Rusch with him... he wanted you out of danger.'
'That's just stupid! The risks...'
'Men in love do stupid things.'
'He's never said he loves me...'
'He doesn't have to. Any more than you do. Now get over yourself and get down to the hospital.'
'I have to unpack this crap first.'
'Oh God... now you're going to do the stupid embarrassed cat thing?'
'Cat thing? What the hell are you talking about?'
'That thing cats do when they fall off something and then have to strut around pretending they did it on purpose. Saving cat face.'
'Don't you have something you were doing that you need to get back to?'
'So doing the cat thing...'
'Go away, asshole.'
'Meow, Yuy... meow.'
OWARI
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