Author: Sorceress Fantasia
Warnings: Humor
Rating: G
Pairings: 1+2, 3+4, R+1, 13+5
Archives: Lev's Lair, Fanfiction.net, MediaMiner. Anyone else, just ask. ^^
Disclaimer: As much as I'd love to, I don't own any of the GW boys. I think I scared them all away. ^^; Luckily, this little piece of ficcy can't run because it hasn't got legs, so yea, I own it.
Thanx to Duo-chan for beta-ing efforts! ^^
The Way We See It
Narrator: *holds a mike and looks at the audience nervously* Lately, it has been observed that many actions of the GW gang always seem to have an underlying meaning to it. For instance, Heero stealing a surreptitious glance at Duo may be perceived by avid yaoi fans as a crush, an infatuation. However, is it really so? What are the victims... erm, GW gang actually thinking of?
*Someone appears and pushes the narrator away forcefully*
Non-yaoi Gundam Wing fan #1: *points at the audience* Contrary to what you guys think, their actions are not shounen ai in nature! It's the yaoi loving GW fans' overly imaginative minds that cook it all up!
Non-yaoi Gundam Wing fan #2: Yeah! Yeah! *hollers loudly* And you guys also give some completely meaningless actions meaning!
Narrator: *crawling up from the ground* Erm, why don't we just take a look at the report?
Duo looks away when Heero turns up in spandex:
Our explanation: My gosh... what a tight ass he's got! I wish I could just peel the thing off of him! No, we've got a mission now. Must not jump him. Must not jump him. Must not jump him...
His explanation: Gee... I can't believe someone's wearing that stuff in this day and age. So what if it boosts maximum movement capacity? It's indecent exposure!
Heero frowning when Duo goes out on a date with some nameless girl from school:
Our explanation: How could he leave? He should be here with me! He's mine, and no one touches what's mine! When he comes back, I'll make sure he won't be able to walk straight for a week! *eyes the lube*
His explanation: How could he do this to me? Go on a date and leave me here alone? He should have asked two girls out and handed one of them to me!
Heero staring at Duo's sleeping form at night:
Our explanation: He's like a child when he's asleep. So innocent... so relaxed. It's so different from his Shinigami facade. I want to protect him, so he'd never have to be Shinigami again. Yes, after this war, I'll take him away from death. My beautiful Duo...
Our alternate explanation: He'll never know! If I just snuck a kiss on his lips now...
His explanation: If I pinch his nose, he'll suffocate. If I wake him up, he'll bitch at me the whole day. Shit, I can't get to sleep with his snoring...
Duo gazes at a dark alley on L2:
Our explanation: I grew up here, living on scraps and whatever I could pilfer from the rubbish cans. I shied from the light, always hiding the dark alleys to make a living. Now, it feels so strange to see the place again after I've escaped from the life of a L2 street kid.
His explanation: Hmm... that alley sure is dark. That's it. I'm gonna drag that jerk from the bar who was hitting on me earlier to that alley and bash the daylights out of him.
Trowa playing the flute when Quatre's playing his violin:
Our explanation: I can feel some type of connection between the two of us... The music we make together feels like silk to my skin. He's the one I'm destined to be with. I just know it.
His explanation: The violin's so squeaky it makes my hair stand on end. Let's see if I can make it better with my flute... Shit. I think the vase just shattered.
Trowa looking longingly at Quatre secretly:
Our explanation: He's so... beautiful. No, no words could ever do him justice. I want him so much, but what can I offer him? I'm just a nameless little kid, and he's the sole heir to the Winner fortune...
His explanation: Damn, I'm so envious. How does he get his hair to be so beautiful? It looks so smooth and silky... *peers at bangs* It's so unfair. Some people are born with beautiful hair like his, and I get the spiky bangs.
Quatre smiling when he sees Trowa patting a lion:
Our explanation: He's so kind even the animals can feel it. My space heart can feel it too. I like kindness in a man. And well, I'm kind; he's kind... Maybe we'll be good for each other. *looks at Trowa longingly*
His explanation: My god... He can tame a lion? I'd better be good to him or he could set Simba on me... And Sandrock's pretty far, so I won't make it to him in time if I need to escape...
Wufei looks up at Shenlong or Altron:
Our explanation: Nataku, I will do you proud! Justice will be served!
His explanation: Is that a pink stain over there? ...Maxwell, you are going to get it from me when I see you!
Wufei glares at Heero angrily when he's having a long conversation with Duo:
Our explanation: How dare he steal Duo away from me? I will get him back, and Duo'll know who's the better of us two! Just you wait, Yuy!
His explanation: Idiot Yuy. He promised he was going to play poker with me tonight! And we both know how much Duo talks! By the time he's finished, it'd be midnight! I don't care; I'm considering this my victory because he relinquished the game, and by the nature of our bet, he owes me dinner!
Wufei seeks out Treize after the latter has defeated him:
Our explanation: I've lost once, but I'm here to fight you again! And I won't lose this time, because I have Nataku's blessings! I will exact vengeance on you this time!
His explanation: When I win, I'm going to make him dress in drag and take his photos. I'd make a bundle out of that, either by selling those photos to perverts like Dermail or blackmailing Treize...
Treize smiles at Wufei when Wufei goes looking for him:
Our explanation: Ah... So you've finally come to see me, Dragon. I've missed you. Too bad you can't come everyday because we're always changing bases. Too bad. That's what we get for fighting on opposite sides.
His explanation: What a nice guy. He's come to challenge me again. Well, it's such a good exercise for me to shed some kilos. Lately, it's hard to not gain weight, being a general sitting on a nice cushioned chair while dispatching my soldiers to fight for me and all... And Une keeps stuffing these nice chocos my way...
Relena changing schools and seeing Heero there:
Our explanation: HEEROOOO! I'm here to see you! Aren't you glad I followed you all the way from... who knows where I came from?
Her explanation: Gee... why do I have to change schools? Just because I failed all my papers and have redo the year's work, mum thought it would be better to start afresh somewhere else or the press would have a field day with it. And why is Heero here? I see him in every school! Is he following me?
Relena riding in her pink limo:
Our explanation: I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world...
Her explanation: Those bastards! How could they spray my car pink!! Of all colours! I am soooo going to skin them alive when I find out who did this!
Narrator: And that's our report. So you see, fanficcers have thought too much of those innocent actions. It is disrespectful and annoying to the victims... erm, GW gang.
*Someone offstage whispers, and hands the narrator a slip of paper*
Narrator: Huh? Oh! I think the report is outdated! Right... it's dated a year ago! Anyway, a more recent report...
Duo sees Heero walking around in spandex:
Our explanation: I'm gonna jump him... I'm gonna jump him... I'm gonna jump him...
His explanation: *text has been censured for protecting the eyes of minors, but you know what's going on*
Heero frowning when Duo goes out on a date with some nameless girl from school:
Our explanation: He's trying to make me jealous, I just know it! Just because I absolutely have to finish this mission report for Professor J and can't keep him company. Hmph. When I'm finished, I'm going to find him, and drag him back here where he belongs!
His explanation: This situation is no longer applicable because I will never let Duo out on date with anyone else.
Heero staring at Duo's sleeping form at night:
Our explanation: I think this is the only time I get to see him so quiet and peaceful. He's beautiful, the way his skin flushes and his hair all fanned out across our bodies. I wonder if I can wake him up and do the whole thing again...
His explanation: This situation is also not applicable anymore because Duo wears me out so much I usually fall asleep immediately after.
Trowa looking longingly at Quatre secretly:
Our explanation: I want him! We're perfect for each other! Sue me if I'm wrong, but I really feel that I've found my other half in him!
His explanation: What longingly? I usually seduce him into bed, and well, that's not a challenge in any way. At least, not anymore. And what secretly? All the guys know about us! Geez... Just because we were noisy once, they think that I'm only vocal in bed.
*Narrator looks up from the updated report and looks at audience feebly*
Narrator: Well, that's the full report. So yeah, current fanficcers have a pretty good grasp of what the GW gang is thinking about. So erm... keep up the good work!
*waves her little 1x2 and 3x4 flag, and quickly dodges the bricks hurled at her by the non-yaoi GW fans*
OWARI
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