Author: Sorceress Fantasia
Warnings: Heero POV, AU (our time)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: 1+2, R+1
Disclaimer: I was going to buy the ownership papers for the GW gang, but the dog next door ate my cheque book. While I try to calm myself so I won't go over and mutilate the damn thing, I'll have to say that I do not own GW in any way. I own this fic though. The song 'Wires', which I plucked a couple of lines from, is by Athletes. Don't own it either.
Note: This is Heero's take on the dinner event in Lemon Grass.
Thanx to Utsubame for beta-ing efforts!
Author's Note: Aa... So this chapter has been delayed for 9 months. And I know that I have no excuses for the lateness except for my laziness... ;;
Gomen, everyone! Right now, I'm starting to get busy again (with school about to start) and I'm feeling sick again (I seem to get sick on schedule), so I have no idea when the next part will come out, but I'll try to get it out sooner.
BTW, did anyone notice that I've revised all the previous chapters? The changes I've made include grammar, punctuation, character portrayal and such, but there's nothing really big.
Seventh Heaven Series Part 29b
The Dinner Part 2
I adjusted my collar again. It was choking me and irritating me to no end. So why am I wearing the damn thing? Oh yeah, my too-cute-for-words-baby-sister decided to make herself my fashion consultant tonight and insisted I wear this. Plus the black slacks. Just because it's a blind date, she gets more excited than I do.
Oh Heero! You have to wear this to impress your date! It's a restaurant, isn't it? You can't turn up in tee shirt and jeans! And besides, Duo's joining you, isn't he?
If she hadn't added that last comment in, I wouldn't even consider wearing... this gaudy thing they call clothes, which I so unfortunately am wearing now. I'm not a shirt and slacks person. Jeans are much better. And spandex. I bet when mom handed me my first pair of spandex shorts for a biking trip, she had never imagined I would develop a fetish for the material. I just like the ventilation it provides. But I'm going way off tangent here.
So why am I here? One word: Solo. He is so manipulative I can't even remember how he got me to agree to this blind date with his brother. I must admit, though, I am interested. After all, his brother's name is also Duo. I'm still wondering if he is the same Duo I've been semi-dating for the past few weeks.
A smile tugs at my lips. Just thinking of Duo makes my heart flutter nowadays. Beautiful, kind, compassionate Duo. To think he'll be here in another 20 minutes to be my boyfriend for the night. Maybe I can even sneak a few kisses on his cheek and get to hug him, and blame everything on getting the manipulative big brother figure a.k.a. Solo away from me. Apart from satisfying my hormonal urges (this I admit), I'm just trying to compensate for the past few days when we've both been so busy with our own lives that we've not been able to meet. And the last time I heard his voice was when I called him and asked him to be my pretend boyfriend.
When that slipped out of my mouth, I heard the voice inside my head screaming like he had just witnessed the perfect act of idiocy and the alarms flashing and crying wildly. I felt that way too, because when I called, my initial intention was to just listen to his voice. Before that, I had already reasoned with myself that I would not ask Duo to be my pretend boyfriend because of all the misunderstandings that could crop up later. How would, I thought to myself, Duo know when I'm really asking him to be my boyfriend as opposed to a pseudo-boyfriend?
But the request just spilled out of my lips like spare coins out of a hole in my wallet. I swear that was the classic moment of mouth not cooperating with brains. Or maybe my mouth's reaction time was just too fast.
I know for certain that Duo was not too happy with the turn of events either. He sounded kind of mad that night.
Heero Yuy... how is it that you always manage to get yourself into deeper shit than you can handle?
You're such a masochist, my little voice answers.
I think I have to agree. Damn.
...Did I just swear? My nervousness is doing strange things to my mind. Shit.
...Not again.
*****
I turn down yet another offer to take my orders, and the waitress traipses off with a shrug. It's almost like she's saying, "Whatever, you stupid jerk who's taking up a table during our peak hours and not ordering, probably wouldn't even leave a tip, since you look so cheap to begin with." Or maybe I'm just imaging things. Peering at my wristwatch, I can't help but notice that I'm still 15 minutes early for the appointment. Oh well.
Just when I'm about to ask for a cup of coffee, I see someone familiar walking up to me. It's like a sudden flash; kind of like the Chips More cookie commercial catchphrase: now you see it, now you don't. But it's the other way around in this case.
"Heero?" He blinks.
"Duo?"
He turns to the waitress leading him, thanking her and pulling out a seat himself. When he's settled down, he looks back at me with an almost casual air, but I can see the underlying ire. He's not happy with me tonight; looks like he doesn't like the idea of being my pretend date. Should I be happy about that? Maybe he's irked because he wants to be my real boyfriend.
Not that I don't want to either. Just seeing him tonight strengthens my resolve to really ask him out on a date as soon as possible. Duo is always beautiful, but I think he took the extra time to doll himself up tonight. I don't even know how to describe his beauty now. Inwardly, I'm almost swooning with appreciation. If you could see me, you'd see me melting like Frosty the snowman during summer. Ignore the fact that snow usually does not exist in said season.
"Hi, you're early," I comment with what I hope is a winsome smile. Zechs once told me that a smile can do wonders for a date: he had this girl before Noin who would practically squeal and jump into his arms whenever he smiled. But apparently, this tactic does not work on intelligent people. Either that or I'm doing a poor imitation of a winsome smile. I wonder how I look like now. At least I'm not scaring him away.
"You're early too."
I wince. He's being so curt. Not good.
He takes a look around. "Where's your friend?"
"He's not here yet. At least, I haven't seen him. But we're early, so I'm guessing that he won't be here until another..." -I glance at my watch- "ten minutes. But why don't you order something first if you're hungry? It's my treat," I say, hoping to placate him. From what I've noticed about Duo, he's a lot easier to talk to when there's good food around. The one exception was when Sally made us share a cup of coffee, but he looked so cute blushing like that so I can't really protest to that.
I just wish Sally would do that to us again. As pathetic as it sounds, I'd rather share an indirect kiss with Duo than do without one.
"It's okay, I can wait," he replies, but he's already browsing through the leather-bound menu.
I smile. Duo's attractive even when he doesn't notice it himself. It's like his charm just rolls off him in waves, and he's still innocently sitting there, biting his bottom lip in deep contemplation. Cute.
Suddenly, a group of diners sitting at the table beside ours yell, "As spicy as you can manage!" And that effectively knocks me out of my drooling fest. Good thing too, I would hate to explain why the tablecloth in front of me is completely soaked if someone were to ask. The interruption also reminds me of something really important. Where is Duo's elder brother? Wasn't he supposed to take Duo out for dinner?
I ask Duo, and he replies, "He is, and he chose this place. Strange huh? Oh, and he's busy in the men's room," -he looks up from the menu- "You know, we could have the weirdest situation here."
I couldn't help but blink. Somehow, Duo just said something that I've been thinking about quite a bit since I learned that Solo's younger brother is also called Duo. But seriously, what are the chances of the two Duos being one and the same? Practically nil, isn't it? I mean, how lucky -or unlucky- can I get? I decide to question luck.
"Why?"
"You see..." - he clears his throat- "My brother is giving me a treat tonight, but I have a feeling he's asking a friend of his to come over to see me as well. And you're pretty much in the same situation, aren't you?"
"We could do a double-date. You and me, and then the two mysterious others," I answer with a laugh, eliciting a light chuckle from Duo. It may sound like the world's biggest cliché, but when Duo's happy like that, there's some kind of magic in it that hypnotizes me. It's like the world's biggest spotlight is all focused on him and the light just bounces off his violet eyes, twinkling and shimmering like satin. It's amazing.
But of course, I'm not entitled to such lucky days when I can just sit there and admire his beauty because there comes my nightmare's harbinger. Still, the manners that have been instilled into my head much like a screw drilled forces me to call him. I wave a hand.
"Solo!"
"Wha?" Duo blurts in surprise, his head shooting up from the menu.
"Oh, it's my friend. He's here. It's strange though, I don't see his brother with him..." In fact, Solo had somehow managed to not have anyone walking near to him even when the restaurant looks really packed for the night. It's like everyone just parted like the Red Sea. If that really is the case though, I have a sneaking feeling that it's not because of divine intervention but because of the strange vibes Solo's giving off that sort of blares over his head a warning message to steer clear of his way.
At least, that's one conclusion I get when I see just how Duo is looking right now. Goldfish eyes, hanging jaws, slack hands and a drooping braid. Well, not that the braid was jumping around like a bunny earlier, but it's like... the braid just suddenly dropped dead. Then, half looking like he's going to fall over and half looking like he's going to scream, Duo turns around to see what's /really/ behind him. I can just hear the theme song for 'Jaws' playing in his head.
Oh yeah, with all the ruckus happening around Solo and the crowd, I can only see the top half of his head. It does feel like the scene in 'Jaws', where the shark was swimming towards its victims with only its fin showing above the surface of the water.
But I have a feeling that Duo's face is paler than the victim's. Maybe Solo wasn't just Jaws; he was Jaws' father, bigger in size and packs more punch with his tougher teeth. Heh, I can just imagine Solo walking to a shark and saying this with a straight face, "Jaws, I am your father." That would a classic moment.
And George Lucas and Steven Spielberg would have my head. Or maybe they would laugh their heads off.
...I think I should do something to alleviate the tension in Duo, who looks about ready to faint and sweating bullets. A joke, maybe? Right, the only reason he would laugh is the fact that I cracked a joke.
Before I can do anything, however, Solo's already at our table, pulling out a seat and making himself comfortable.
"Oh, I see you've found yourself a nice table, huh Duo?" Solo smirks. "And you're already getting acquainted with Heero!"
I blink.
"Wait a minute. You know Duo?" I ask, despite that voice inside telling me I shouldn't ask for the sake of my sanity.
"Of course. He's the younger brother I was telling you about," Solo replies nonchalantly with a shrug, like he's talking about the weather, about school (he's still slacking off in class and getting his stellar grades; lucky jerk), about a new television show... oh, he sounds like he's talking about anything except our messed up relationship, which I think can qualify quite nicely for a television script.
Suddenly, a song pops into my head like an earworm.
You got wires, going in
You got wires, coming out of your skin
Hilde bugged me into downloading that song for her just yesterday, and once I did, she wouldn't stop playing it. Now that I look back on it, it's just like a premonition. Solo looks like (and he has been acting like) the type of elder brother who's so protective of their younger sibling he'd kill any ardent pursuer who hasn't been approved. I know the signs all too well because my dear little sister had so kindly pointed it out to me when she first started to date Wufei.
I'm starting to get a taste of what Wufei must have felt like back then. I think I'll apologize the next time I see him.
So against my better judgment, I ask, "He's Duo? /The/ Duo you were telling me about the other day?"
I think the voices (yes, plural) inside my head are having a party and doing the teapot song together. They're also happily having fun pulling on each others' pink tutus. They must be taking advantage of the temporary void left by my linguistic abilities, which had just eloped with my sense of logic. I wonder when will they come back, if ever. And is that my sanity fraternizing with confusion?
"Yea, of course. I seriously don't think there's any other people named Duo out there, is there?" Solo laughs.
I used to think this sort of mess can only happen on television. Thank you for proving me wrong and providing me with a brand new perspective on life.
"Seriously, I think our parents were just too lazy to think up of proper names... Well, at least they didn't call us 01 and 02. That would have been a riot!"
Can a single man protesting against me dating his younger brother be considered a riot?
Peering at Duo, I see an almost non-existent nervous grin on his face. We must have gotten the same train ticket for this train of thought headed for utter chaos. Allow me to try and unravel a bit of this confusion.
I have been semi-dating Duo Maxwell for the past few weeks, who also happens to have a previously faceless, protective-like-hell brother who interrogated me on the phone. On the other hand, I have this slacker and yet still nosey classmate in university who tricked me into coming to a blind-date with his younger brother. The over-protective brother is called Solo Maxwell. My nosey classmate is also called Solo Maxwell. And today, on this very fine day, I finally find out that they are one and the same.
So far, so good. Or maybe it should be: so far, so not good.
Now, I'm sitting across the table from Solo, who is in nosey-classmate mode. Beside me is Duo, who has probably also just found out how confusing our relationship is. And once Solo finds out too, I have no doubt he will immediately shift into over-protective brother mode and possibly kick my butt.
"I would introduce you two, but it seems like you're already getting along! Still, just in case all you've been doing is casting moony eyes at each other," " - he wags a suggestive eyebrow - "this cute one here is my younger brother, Duo," - he points to me - "and this is Heero Yuy, my classmate."
Both of us nod dumbly, too shocked to say anything.
"Maybe you two should introduce yourselves?"
This should be when I wake up from this horrid nightmare, but I don't. My alarm clock should be going off right now, but it isn't. Hilde should be screaming in my ear for her breakfast, but she isn't.
Conclusion: This is not a nightmare. Shit.
How am I going to survive this? What should I say? Hi, I'm Heero Yuy, and I'm the guy who stalked your younger brother for seven days before finally getting to talk to him on a bus, and now I'm semi-dating him. Oh yea, and I asked him to be my pseudo-boyfriend tonight to get you off my case but apparently, it's not going to work anymore. My hobbies include looking at Duo, talking to Duo, taking Duo's pictures and thinking of ways to kiss him.
I blush at that last thought, and the urge to touch Duo bites me hard. Carefully, I let my fingers sneak under the table to clasp Duo's.
He blushes prettily (I make a mental note to take a picture of that sometime soon), glancing sideways at me with a small smile. Sigh, I want a picture of this too... Just as I'm about to give into my urges and grab my new cell phone with camera capabilities, he gives my hand a hard squeeze.
This is when the party inside my head goes 'poop!', and suddenly, I see loads of chibi Solos trying to handcuff chibi Heeros, who were previously doing the teapot song in their pink tutus. It's just a police raid in movies, except I'm not in Hollywood. I'm in a twisted rendition of life, where the 'antagonist' is calling all the shots and probably has the director and scriptwriters at his beck and call. Yeah, I can just see it. Solo Maxwell has his own first-class trailer, his own changing room, his own personal attendant and his own scriptwriter.
This is definitely bad news with a capital B.
So, instead of breaking the news to Solo, who will probably break /my/ neck, I opt to reintroduce myself to Duo, After all, as the adage goes, join 'em if you can't beat 'em.
"Hello, Duo. I'm Heero Yuy."
Okay, Duo is looking kinda mad.
"Erm, I'm your brother's classmate and partner for a business project... Erm... anything else you want to know?" I ask nervously.
Okay, he looks ready to spit fire now.
Just when I'm thinking whether death by roasting (courtesy of Duo) or even death by boxing (courtesy of Solo) is better and less painful, Duo solves that dilemma for me by shaking my hand.
"Hi, I'm Duo. Solo's brother. I'm still in junior college, but I'll be going to a university next year."
"Damn right!" Solo interrupts. Pointing to Duo, he adds, "He's usually got pretty good results, but I reckon he'd do even better with a bit of tuition. Maybe you could offer your services? It'll give you two some time alone to know each other better..." He leers suggestively before warning me, "But nothing too much, I tell you."
Are you sure you want to leave your brother with me? Alone? That would be like the shepherd sending one of his sheep to a wolf and asking the wolf to take good care of the sheep. Cute little herbivorous Duo-sheep and big, hungry (this can be substituted with 'lustful', I admit) carnivorous Heero-wolf. Not a good combination. And if I'm not a wolf, I would be the guy with the pair of shears, always ready and eager to shear Duo-sheep's coat off. Except that I don't do it for the sake of getting his wool, if you know what I mean.
When I notice Solo still waiting for an answer, I quickly reply, "Erm... sure. He can call me if he needs help." Oh, the need to suppress my hormones aside, at least tutoring Duo is better than tutoring Hilde.
"Exchange your numbers then! Go on!"
"We'll do it later, Solo," Duo says, which I think is a smart move because we both have each other's numbers already. Solo would flip if he sees that.
Immediately, Solo raises an eyebrow. "What? There's going to be a date between you two later already?"
"Well, you want us to date, don't you?"
"True, true... Well, can't say anything against that. After all, I do believe that you two will make a wonderful couple. Cute and sweet definitely goes well with handsome and smart. Just remember one thing though: you have to be home by 9 pm. Heero, I'll hold you to that task."
I nod silently, not knowing what to say. Well, I can't possibly grab Solo's hands and shed tears of gratitude, telling him that I will take very good care of Duo and thank him for entrusting Duo to me, now can I? No matter how screwed up this script is, I'm not starring in one of those anime Hilde always watches, where the characters turn chibi all of a sudden and their eyes become more efficient than the taps in my house.
Even if I /am/ starring in an anime, which would make all those strange actions and chibification possible, can anyone imagine me, Heero Yuy, doing any of those things? Zechs and Quatre would laugh their heads off, capture it on tape, and blackmail me for the next decade. Hilde would freak out, and probably try to call those 'X-Files' people telling them an alien has abducted her brother. No matter how many times I try to tell her that 'X-Files' is a television program, she just doesn't believe me.
But Duo now... I know he'll look utterly cute in chibi form. Just like a plush toy. Suppressing the urge to grin, I steal a glance at Duo, already seeing him in chibi form in my mind's eye.
Just then, a waitress comes on by and knocks into Duo. While she carries on her merry way and doing her balancing act, Duo lets out a yelp and my hands instinctively reach out for him as he falls. And towards me, of all directions. Yes Duo, come to daddy! He falls right into my arms, with his head nestled in the crook of my neck. Score! Perfect fall! 10 out of 10!
I can just smell the lavender scent of Duo's hair... Sigh. Smells so good. Just let me get one more whiff of it. Perfect.
Suddenly, someone coughs and we turn to see Solo glowering at us. Or more specifically, me. Okay, better stop the intoxication and get prepared for the hangover, which I have little doubt the protective brother (trademarked) will give me now.
"You all right?" I ask, looking down at Duo who's still leaning into my chest.
I think Duo answered me, but I'm not too sure what he said, because all I can feel is a kiss on my... lips. Fine, it's the corner, but surely that qualifies as a kiss on the lips, right? Right.
Before my inner voice can argue, Solo's coughing puts me right back to reality instead of the instant replay that seems to be on loop. Biting back the offer of a glass of water (it's reflexes; Hilde chokes on her food a /lot/ because she can't seem to understand food goes down her windpipe when she talks too much during meals), I spring away from Duo.
As Solo's coughing eases, epiphany stomps on me with her giant elephant feet, beating the message into me quite effectively: Either Duo and I come clean with Solo, or we'll be jumping apart like frogs every time he's around. vGrabbing Duo's hand, I steel myself for the blow that's going to come in a minute.
"Solo? I think there's something you should know."
I think I can hear Duo cheering me on at the sidelines. Not that he's doing it aloud, of course.
"What?" Solo asks without a trace of suspicion.
"Duo and I already know each other."
He narrows his eyes. "Before today?"
"Yes."
He narrows his eyes even more.
"How?"
"We... met on a bus ride. And then I asked him out for dinner. So..." I stop right there, unsure of where's the safety stop point supposed to be. But at least I know I can't tell him all the wet dreams I have of his younger brother. I'm not that stupid.
The next few seconds of my life flies by amazingly fast. I can only remember Solo's loud shriek of "WHAT!?" that vaguely reminds me of something ripped out of a horror movie (or was that a family slash scandalous drama?) and Duo's attempt to keep the scandal under covers and my own graceful save by shoving a menu into Duo's hands.
Thank you God, for giving me enough brain cells left after this horrifying encounter to respond.
*****
After the waitress flutters off after taking our orders, Solo narrows his eyes again so quickly I'm almost made to believe that he had not just smiled and talked to the girl oh-so-civilly. He hisses, "So you mean you're the guy who's been calling Duo recently?"
"...Yeah." That's all my mind can say right now. But seriously, can anyone blame me?
Solo frowns deeper, and all sorts of alarm start to flare up in my head. I can just see what the restaurant will look like ten minutes later: wreckage, wreckage, and more wreckage. The place is in utter chaos, with overturned tables and chairs strewn everywhere, broken glasses littering the ground and unconscious people lying in all sorts of places (this can go from half a countertop, the ground, the tables etc). Witnesses rounded up will claim to have seen a guy going Dragon Ball on another guy, for lack of a better description because everything just happened much too quickly.
"I'm serious, police officer! This guy just turned Super-Saiyan and a beam of light shot out of his hands!"
"Yea! I saw it too!"
"Where's the Super-Saiyan? I'm his biggest fan!"
And the next day, the papers will run a headline that goes: 'Guy killed by boyfriend's over-protective brother who went ballistic on him'. That, or 'Anime fan imitates favourite character in restaurant and kills evil monster that wanted to put his dirty paws on his precious little brother'.
But that is if they manage to find my body in the first place.
Duo decides to cut in and hopefully, save my neck.
"Solo, actually..."
But Solo cuts him off.
"So that's why I've always thought that voice on the phone sounds a little familiar," he sighs.
I gasp.
"You knew!?" Duo and I chorus.
"No," Solo snaps like a vicious Venus flytrap. "Maybe I'd guessed, but I never thought it would really be you."
"Well, everything's been one big coincidence, I guess," Duo says with a sheepish laugh.
I think I just nodded. Or my head is just moving by itself. Forgive me if I'm not making sense anymore. How can I, when Solo is glaring at me in the way that makes all my alarms go crazy?
"So that day when you were talking about a Mars bar, you were talking about Duo? I do recognize the colour combination you were talking about, you know."
Crap. Crap! Ultimate crap! Is he going to kill me now?
He gives me another look.
"I don't want to know what you're thinking of when you eat that."
I blush. Honestly, I'm not sure what I'm thinking of when I eat Mars chocolate either. It's just sensory overload. I hear Duo's chocolate-y voice, I smell Duo's chocolate-y scent, I feel Duo's chocolate-y touch, I see Duo's chocolate-y sensuality and I taste Duo's chocolate-y... okay, enough. Stop, brain, stop!
Duo tries to placate his brother again.
"But Solo, it's no big deal, right? I mean, everything's okay! He's the one you picked out to be my date, and since we know already know each other you tried introducing us, this whole thing works!"
Solo turns exasperated eyes to his brother.
"Duo, he thinks of you as a chocolate bar."
And a delicious one at that, my mind supplies gleefully, and I'll never get tired of it.
But I suppose I may have gotten tired of living because I think I just said that out loud. Why else would Solo be shooting his glare of doom (trademarked) at me? Somebody please just kill me already.
"Delicious?" Solo repeats, drawing out every syllable. He narrows his eyes, and that murderous gleam is surfacing again. "Do you mean to tell me that you've... had sex with my brother?"
"No!" Duo and I yell.
At that moment, a waitress comes traipsing with our orders, and I'm saved temporarily. At least she's giving me a few seconds to come up with a respond that will hopefully save my life and prevent mutilation.
"What I mean is... erm... delicious in terms of looks," I'm blubbering, and I know it. Who knew that waitress could do her stuff so friggin' fast? "Yeah, that's it. Deliciously beautiful."
Hilde's always told me that I couldn't lie to save my life. I used to think it was just another of those things she likes to taunt me about for the fun of it, but right now, I'm starting to think she's right about it. And I can just see her making a fun at me and gloat, "I told you so!" Thank goodness she's not here to see Solo's expression.
But suddenly, he turns away from me to glare at Duo, and Duo is visibly shaken. I wonder if there's some kind of unspoken threat going on there...
"Did you two ever do anything that involved the study of human anatomy?"
I blush, and shake off the image of a half-naked Duo, silk sheets and a lot of chocolate sauce that I somehow knew came from Mars bars. As I succeed in that, another image strikes me: I'm dressed in a lab coat, and walking around my subject, I scribble some quick notes onto my clipboard. Duo, my subject, is obediently waiting for me to finish... poking around.
Argh! Stop thinking of that, Heero Yuy! Stop it!
A hiss of 'Of course not!' from Duo brings me back to reality, just in time for me to catch Solo's glare again.
"So what have you done? Groping? Kissing? Walking hand in hand?"
Quickly, I let go of Duo's hand under the table and his hand jumps away.
"None of the above!" I answer so quickly it's almost a dead giveaway.
But Solo doesn't seem to catch that. Instead, he sweeps us both with a suspicious glance, and all of a sudden, he grins.
"Good, good... Then I guess you can date my brother."
Oh, I can? That's good. So now I don't have to worry about being caught when I'm out with Duo, and we can go to all those quiet places and make out a bit and all that. Yeah, and I can feed Duo chocolate without having to worry about it being too erotic. I don't have to worry about sticking Duo's pictures all over my room. And I can date Duo! That's good. Really good.
...wait a second. Backtrack, backtrack! Did Solo just say when I thought he said?
"I can date Duo?"
Solo grins.
"Yes, but you're on probation for three months. If you're still living up to my expectations after three months, then you can continue dating my brother. But if you don't, you can kiss him sayonara forever. Figuratively speaking, of course. Try kissing him before I approve..." he trails off with an evil smirk and a crack of his knuckles.
"And just before I forget, you can have this. It's a list of rules."
I take the slip of paper from his hands warily, half-afraid that it's been booby-trapped and a snake or something will jump out at me. Or maybe this is Solo's idea of a joke, and the only word written in it is 'Gotcha!' Today is nowhere close to Aprils' Fools right?
Duo leans over, and tentatively, I unfold the paper. Upon reading the so-called rules, I almost fall over. Getting Solo to allow me to date Duo is like a load off my shoulders, but now... I think that load went straight down and crushed my toes.
The five commandments of dating my younger brother by Solo Maxwell:
1. Thou shalt not take him to discos, clubs or whatever establishment that serves alcohol like it's water.
2. Thou shalt not let him take any alcoholic drinks. Not even one sip.
3. Thou shalt not let him stay away from home after 9pm. He has to be safely escorted home by 9pm when out on dates.
4. Thou shalt not show him any pornography. That includes movies, magazines, books, photos etc.
5. Thou shalt not engage in any form of hanky panky with him.Please read all rules above as many times as you need to get it into your mind because you might be asked to memorize them as and when I feel the need. Take note that I do not tolerate idiocy, so that means if you break any of the rules, you'll find yourself in deeper shit than you ever can imagine.
But upon a second glance, I find myself accepting the rules, even though the format of the rules is a little... strange. Those are the same things I warned Wufei about, after all. Heh, did this come from some international guidebook for older siblings?
But seriously, Solo doesn't have to worry. I don't like clubbing, I don't like alcohol (though it is a little tempting to find out just how accurate drama serials are; if they're right, I'll probably wake up to Duo's hair in the morning), and I can handle curfews. Pornography shouldn't really be a big problem either, but I'd need to discuss the definition of hanky panky with Solo.
On the other hand, Duo looks like he's going to scream, faint, shriek, black out, or a combination of all four. So what if they are repetitive? But before he can, another waitress skips over with a couple of our orders and he quiets down.
When she leaves, Solo continues the conversation as if it had never been stopped.
"I must say, though, I was pretty shocked that you think of my brother as chocolate. For that, it's an increase of 20 KP. And for dating my brother before approval, another 50 points. So right now, you have 70 KP. That's pretty good, since it's the lowest ever for someone hitting on Duo. And just for your information, if you get more than 1000 KP, you're off-field. Red card! No second chances!"
I blink.
"KP?"
"Kirai points."
I cock my head.
"Oh."
But I don't get it.
*****
My head keeps flashing blank throughout dinner, and I'm sure a hamster would have a better idea of what he's eating than I do now.
Just what is going to happen? What is my relationship with Duo going to be like? Like now, with Solo shooting subtle glares and grinning smugly at me alternately? And with Duo trying very hard to notice neither?
And just what is KP? Kirai points? Hate points? I have points for that? What in the world-!?
And just when did we order dessert? Is the thing supposed to be this red? Or did I puke blood into it without me noticing?
...That's disgusting, but not as disgusting as the person coming towards me. Shit! How did Relena find me? I resist the urge to search my clothes for any traces of a tracking device. Or maybe she just has some sort of radar with me as her only target. Heh, I can just see it: as a dot suddenly appears on the radar screen, the navigator (who looks just like Relena) screams, "Heero Yuy spotted! One o'clock position, three kilometers away!" And then the captain (who also looks just like Relena) answers, "People, turn this submarine 30 degrees to the right and full speed ahead!" At that, everyone in the deck (all of whom looks just like Relena) answers, "Yes captain!"
Nooooo.... Dorothy, why aren't you helping? Don't just give me that apologetic smile. Do something! No, don't let Relena get close to me! Not now! Not in front of Duo!
"Hi Heero! What a coincidence! Dorothy and I are just here for dessert because we heard so much about it; I didn't think we'd find you here!" she singsongs. "And you're having the thing I wanted! Why don't we share it?" And she promptly slides into the empty seat beside mine.
Somebody save me.
"Hi Heero, Solo and Duo. What are you three doing here together?" Dorothy asks, her amusement clear in her voice.
I think it's only now that Relena notices I'm not eating alone.
"Oh! Hi Solo, I didn't see you! And who's that beside you?"
I tense. This is the moment of truth! What will Solo say? Will he acknowledge me and Duo together? Or will he throw me to the Relena sharks and tell her that I'm just sharing their table? Hesitantly, I turn.
...He's grinning. Very widely, in fact.
In a level of coolness so cool penguins will adore, he answers, "Oh, hi Relena, hi Dorothy. This is Duo, my younger brother. He's actually having dinner with his boyfriend, but I tagged along for the free food."
I feel my jaws drop, but I could care less. Solo. Acknowledged. Me! He acknowledged me! He introduced me as Duo's boyfriend! Not Relena bait! Yes yes yes! I can just kiss him! At this moment, I feel like I've just been awarded from big award and I'm standing on the podium thanking my fans and drowning in their screams of adoration and accolade. The falling streamers and fireworks are a bedazzling work of art. But what is truly enchanting is the man of my dreams handing me a bouquet of flowers and kissing me on the cheeks to congratulate me. Duo, kiss me on my lips?
But before Daydream-Duo's lips can connect with mine, a shrill voice breaks me out of my trance. Oh, it's Relena. Argh.
"Boyfriend? Oh, where is he?"
Dorothy's snickering behind her hand, and Solo's grinning so wide I think his muscles are protesting.
"There, right beside you. Heero's dating my brother now. Simply marvelous, isn't it?"
Oh my god! Solo's serious! Duo-chan, this is where the screen turns bright and sparkly, which means it's time for us to go frolic in a field of flowers hand in hand and celebrate with our picnic basket!
But as that image continues playing in my head, Relena's not having such a good time. In fact, she's forgotten all about acting lady-like. I swear that gaping mouth of hers is the biggest I've seen yet. And her eyes... no amount of mascara and eye-opening shades of eye shadow can ever achieve the size of her eyes now. They are so big they can rival a goldfish's. Or they might even make a goldfish jealous.
"Wha... wha... what?"
Solo just continues to grin widely.
Duo just continues to try and look unbothered, but I can see the blush on his cheeks.
Dorothy is the only one to do something. After she stopped snickering, that is.
"C'mon Lena, let's go. You wouldn't want to play gooseberry, now would you?" -she turns to Solo- "And you're Solo, isn't it? There's this really nice brownie they serve at the shop around the corner..."
She's such a good friend. Of mine, that is; not Relena's. I am going to thank her tomorrow and shake her hands so much she'll grumble about them aching for days. And she can take the break and eat the chocolates I'm going to buy her.
"Oh, you mean /that/ shop? I've been drooling after the brownies since like... a month ago! Everyone says it's the best brownies ever!" Solo answers with a knowing wink. "Let's go there now and leave the lovebirds to themselves then. Come with us, Relena!"
And with that, Dorothy and Solo drag Relena out of the restaurant. Relena doesn't protest, but I think it's because she's in too much of a shock to react now. She just continues to sputter in a variety of 'huh?', 'what?' and 'eh?' as she gets pulled along, Dorothy and Solo pulling one arm each.
*****
Finally, we're alone. Just me and Duo, who still has that bewildered and cute expression on his face. I could just lean in to kiss him for being so cute.
But before I can do that, a shrill cry rings somewhere in my pants. Belatedly, I recognized it as my new cell phone's ring tone. It's a really horrible one, and I've just been effectively reminded that I need to change it. Apparently, Duo feels the same way, if that disgusted expression he's wearing right now is any indication.
Quickly, I flip it open.
"Hello?"
"Hi Heero!"
To my utter surprise, it's Solo. How in the world did he manage to get my new number? I haven't even given it to Duo yet!
"Oh, in case you're wondering why I have your number, I just have my ways. And you should get used to it, since I think I'm entitled to knowing you well because you're dating Duo."
Is it just me, or does he sound increasingly sinister? I wouldn't be surprised if he starts to cackle insanely like one of those evil guys in movies.
"Nah, just kidding! I got it from Dorothy," he laughs.
Phew!
"Anyway, I just wanted to tell you to take care of Duo. And since this is your first date and only because I was with you guys for so long, you only need to take Duo home by ten. Usually, it's supposed to be nine, but I'm feeling generous today."
"Ah yes... I will, don't worry. Duo will be home by ten..."
"No hanky panky!"
"Erm, ye, yes..."
"And by the way, Duo's birthday is this coming Sunday. Just thought you'd like to know," he says knowingly, and I can feel him smirking through the phone.
"Really? Oh, I see..." My god, Duo's birthday is this Sunday? Am I going to get his birthday present on time? What am I going to get him? Where am I going to take him to? What are we going to do? I panic for a moment until I realize that I need to ask Duo if he's willing to spend his birthday with me before I can start making any plans.
"Well, that's all, I guess. Remember to take Duo home by ten, or it will be 800 KP! Get that? Okay, bye!"
"Alright, bye," I reply, and hang up.
Duo gives me a suspicious look before asking, "Heero, was that Solo?"
"Yeah. He... well, usually it should be nine, but since he was with us for so long, he just wants me to bring you home by ten tonight. Otherwise it's 800... KP," I say, creasing my brows at that strange word. Just what is that thing? "It's Kirai Points, right?"
Duo nods.
"Right. Basically, just do what you've been doing and you won't get more points. And be thankful he's not giving you scores as a friend, because otherwise, you'd be in a really perilous situation. It's like you go to an arcade and they give you tickets for playing a game, and you use those tickets to exchange for toys and stuff. For Solo, 50 KP means you're horrible, 100 KP means you're really getting on his nerves, and 200 KP means he's gonna knock your lights out. He did that once, actually."
Knock my lights out? Solo will really punch me? He's... really aggressive. And I thought I was bad. I think if Hilde ever finds out about Solo's protective tendencies, she will think I'm a saint. I mean, although I did freak Wufei out when I told him that if he ever bullied my sister, I would wring his neck dry of all body juices and hang him with pegs on our clothesline like a piece of garment, I didn't really mean it. Really!
I decide it's safer to talk about something else.
"Erm... he also said that it's your birthday this Sunday... You wanna come out with me? We can, you know, celebrate it together?"
Duo starts to smile, and it's a real one; not one of those perfected to be polite, but a real, sweet one. I think I've just struck lottery after a string of bad luck.
"You think?" he asks softly, a light blush tingeing his cheeks.
"Yeah," -I smile, shrugging- "I think we can."
I slide my hand over his again and give it a light squeeze. Now, he's not just Duo anymore. He's my boyfriend, the one I'm going to pamper and love. Of course, I haven't asked him yet, but with Solo's permission, I think there isn't going to be any problems.
And all my friends agree that Duo and I are dating, and have been for the past few months. So now it's just a matter of me outright asking him. I'm going to go home, tidy up my confession list and practice in front of my mirror. After a few test-runs and rehearsals, I think I'll be ready to really confess to Duo.
Duo smiles again.
"Duo? So where do you want to go this Sunday?"
"Anywhere is fine," he answers.
"Right, I'll arrange everything. You just wait for Sunday," I say, resisting the urge to press my lips against his hands. It's alright now; it doesn't matter. I'll get his kiss on Sunday.
Everything will be perfect.
OWARI
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