Liberation Part 4
"You're not being sensible, Duo. Don't you think you and Hilde don't really know each other?"
"Maybe. But I'm sure we can work it out. You don't build a relationship overnight! Give us some time. Besides, like I told Hilde, this is something like a trial period. We're trying to see if we can really have a good romantic relationship between us."
Vespera sighed, obviously still sulking. "Fine. This is your choice, and you'll be the one living with the consequences. Just don't blame me later for not warning you if this goes wrong."
Duo grinned, and slapped her playfully on her back. "Don't get so worked up! You'll get wrinkles before your age, you know?" Not getting a response from her, he added, "Why don't we make a wager?"
The suggestion seemed to perk the chestnut haired girl somewhat, and she turned the chair she had been sitting on around. "Of what nature?"
"Let's bet on the relationship between me and Hilde. If it works out, I win. If it doesn't, you win." Duo proposed, a cocksure grin in place.
Vespera returned that grin. "If I win, you'll have to do something for me."
Duo nodded. "And if I win, you'll bless both me and Hilde with sweet dreams forever."
"Deal. I've got nothing to lose but my life, and I got that for free."
They chuckled, and slapped their hands together to seal the bet.
*****
Heero grimaced, making a mental note to hack into those websites he had visited yesterday and delete them. None of them had mentioned a word about dreams having sequels!
Duo and Hilde were finally going off the dance floor, after hours and hours of dancing. Heero vaguely wondered if he could ask Professor J to invent shoes as durable as theirs, enough to still be intact after all that friction.
Quickly, as though competing against time, the two scrambled out of the disco and practically shot off. Duo seemed to be more anxious, as he dragged Hilde a few blocks down, and eventually arrived in front of an apartment. He pulled her to him with his left hand, passionately devouring her lips, while slotting every key into the keyhole. When he finally found the right key, he shoved the door opened. Throwing the metal bunch into a tray nearby, he carried Hilde in, kicking the door close.
Heero closed his eyes and looked away when Duo whisked Hilde off into what undoubtedly had to be a bedroom.
'What's going on? This can't be my innermost thoughts!' He swallowed hard, clenching his fists.
Suddenly, he felt the lights fade away, and his eyes snapped open. Looking around, he found himself alone in a dark place, and Duo's apartment was nowhere to be seen. He was having problems seeing his fingers even. Black mist blanketed him, and he shivered in cold. 'Where is this place?'
"Inside your mind!" A chirpy voice rang out.
Heero spun around. To his surprise, a figure emerged from the dark mist. Heero heard someone -presumably the newcomer- snapping fingers, and the darkness wavered for a short moment. It wasn't long before the black mist cleared away, and a dim light began to shine through.
"That's better! I'm a little achluophobic, yeah? For a moment there, I thought I was gonna freak out. I'm being contradictory, aren't I? I love black," the person said, and Heero could actually feel a smile.
He took a closer look at the figure in front of him. If he hadn't known earlier from the person's voice, he was now definitely sure that the person was a she. In fact, she didn't look a day older than himself. Her violet eyes sparkled as she flashed her pearly white teeth in a smile that graced her pink lips. Looking at Heero curiously, she twirled a lock of her chestnut hair around her finger.
For a moment, the Japanese pilot just stood there looking. 'She resembles Duo so much... If Duo were a girl, he would probably look like this...'
"Hey. Has anyone ever told you that staring is impolite?"
"Go... Gomen..." Suddenly snapping out of his trance, his training finally decided to kick in. Hand moving for his gun, he nearly gasped when he couldn't feel the familiar chill of the metal.
The girl looked faintly amused, if not a little nervous. "Gee... I knew you were a tad on the suicidal side, but murder? Do I look like an OZ soldier to you?"
"Who are you?"
"Me? Wanna make a guess?" She smirked, still gazing at Heero with those doe eyes that reminded him of Duo.
"Duo."
"Hey! As far as I know, Duo didn't go for a sex change operation!" she laughed, her eyes twinkling. "But yeah! I guess I do look like that adorable guy."
"Why?"
"Why? Hmm... That's a tough one. It's like you're asking me why I'm me." She winced when she noticed Heero's patented glare of doom. Inwardly, she questioned herself again if this would all really work out. Heero Yuy was such a... stiff guy. Can't take jokes, and definitely not one to initiate any. It seemed that everything he ever thought of, apart from a choice few, revolved around missions and his gundam. He was so different from Duo.
"Ooookay. Not one for jokes, huh?" she asked, almost hoping that he'd prove her wrong. Then again, she told herself, she would probably get a heart attack if he really did so.
Heero continued glaring.
"Fine," Vespera huffed, "I'm what you envision. Since you like Duo so very much..." She batted her eyes knowingly, stifling a grin when she saw Heero blush.
"Name."
"Wha?"
"Your name."
"You know, normally, when people ask for names, they introduce themselves first. But since you're Heero Yuy, I guess I can ignore that one." She nodded to herself, and added 'bad social skills' under her list. "Like I said before, wanna guess?"
Glare.
"Guess not... I'm not Rumpelstiltskin [1] anyway..." She mumbled and gave him a careless shrug. "My name is Vespera. You can call me Ves, though."
Heero's eyes narrowed, and he reached for his gun again only to remember it wasn't there. "How do you know my name?"
"Doesn't half the universe know?" she muttered to herself, rolling her eyes. Then in a louder tone, she answered, "Well, don't you remember this person whom you always talked to when you were younger?"
"No."
"Doesn't really matter. I was your invisible friend back then," she explained nonchalantly, wagging a finger at him as though he was a little boy who had misbehaved.
"I had an invisible friend?" he asked, voice brimming with incredulity. Absently, he wondered if this was some kind of mind control computer program Professor J had installed into him without his knowledge.
"Why not? A lot of people do. But well, you've been cooping me up in the dusty corner of your mind the past few years. You just don't have a childhood," she lamented, looking at him sympathetically. Vespera congratulated herself on saying the lamest, and most impossible thing. But then, it was a good thing that Heero was unfamiliar with all the stuff going through a kid's mind that he would take her word her it. "And no, I'm not a computer program."
Heero took a sharp intake of breath, almost ready to back away from the black-clad enigma.
"I'm your invisible friend, remember? What makes you think I can't hear what you're thinking?" she asked. Giving him a gentle nudge in the shoulder, she added, "Well, if you're wondering why I'm back suddenly, it's because you're in a major dilemma, and you need a listening ear."
"...Dilemma?"
Nod.
"Impossible. A soldier should not be in a dilemma. If he is, he should rectify the problem immediately." A cold gleam entered Heero's cobalt eyes, and his posture stiffened.
Vespera rolled her eyes, but resisted the urge to slap her forehead and Heero's impossibly thick skull. "Would you please, for god's sake, take a break!? It's amazing how someone can still be in soldier mode while in dreamland!"
"Soldiers do not dream."
"Wanna bet?" she intoned monotonously. "Everybody in this frigging world dreams! Really. Even a dog on the streets dreams of bones raining from the sky. And your friends dream too!"
"Friends?"
"Hello~! Quatre, Wufei, Trowa, Duo... Do those names ring a bell? Or does your mind have the 'delete' function like your laptop, and those names were deleted just a few seconds earlier?"
"Soldiers don't have friends."
Vespera sighed. "Are you sure you're human? Last I heard, humans were supposed to be social animals!" She took a step close to the Japanese pilot, cocking her head to one side to peer at him. "Anyway, we're way off track. Back to your dilemma." Her tone denied any chance of it not happening.
Heero shrugged, and crossed his arms.
"You seem to like a certain someone, but you can't make up your mind on what to do about it. Right?" She pointed a finger at Heero, smile firmly back in place. "So now we gotta..."
"Wait! What do you mean I like someone!?" he asked, red creeping onto his face.
She raised a knowing eyebrow, and her grin widened when she saw the blush. It was now official. Heero's blood was competing in a cross-body race, and all seemed to recognize his face as the finishing line.
"I don't think you want me to name names. But I can give you some food for thought! Remember the dreams?" At Heero's nod, she continued, "Those dreams could happen some time soon, since Duo and Hilde are officially a couple. What do you feel about that?"
"...Bad."
"Surely, you don't want that to happen, now do you? If so, I suggest that you'd better do something about your feelings before that happens!"
"Like what? And why should I do it?"
"For your first question, don't ask me. You're supposed to find out yourself. For your second question, why not?! Are you gonna let the person you like slip away from you just because you were afraid to approach him?" she snapped.
Under her diamond hard gaze, he kept silent.
"I didn't think so..." she uttered. "Well. You've got more than enough things to think about for tonight, so I guess I'll leave you alone to your thoughts. Just for goodness sake, don't let your thoughts go back to where they were."
Heero nodded. "Will you come back again?" he asked, knowing that he needed a person to talk to if he ever wanted to get his thoughts sorted out. And this girl seemed to be the perfect person. Somehow.
She cocked her head. "So you finally acknowledge that you need a talking companion? Your laptop may be a good listener, it can't talk back to you. Well, I guess I'll be back soon. Tomorrow night, maybe? Gotta go now!" she said, and turned to run away.
"Hey wait!" Heero shouted, "What's your name?"
But she did not answer. Instead, she kept to her pace and soon, she disappeared out of sight.
However, from a distance, the answer echoed. "I'm Vespera!"
With that, Heero felt his eyes flutter open. Holding up one hand to block out the blinding glare from the beams of sunlight that strayed into his room through the windows, he shut his eyes again. Then, something seemed to have sunk into his mind and he bolted up.
"What's going on? Was that a dream? Vespera?"
*****
Duo woke up groggily. Without the sweet dreams had Vespera blessed him with for the past few nights, he felt strange and a little out of place. As he yawned, he briefly recalled last night's events. He had made a bet with Vespera. And the smug expression she had... it made him shudder. Heaven knows what she was up to.
Usually, it wasn't too hard to read what she was thinking. After all, she was the type who wore her heart on her sleeve. But it seemed that she had finally learned the art of concealing, and he had no idea what was going through her mind last night. 'Probably some ploy to make me lose the bet,' he thought sourly. 'Doesn't matter. I'm not gonna lose that easily.'
The bet. It reminded him of Heero somehow. He didn't know why though, just a feeling that the bet had something, or would have something to do with the withdrawn Japanese pilot. He just wondered what was it...
With another yawn, he reached for his alarm clock sitting so innocently on the nightstand. Picking it up, he looked at it. 9.30am. Fine. So he put the clock back down. Then, he picked it up again. His eyes widened as realization finally hit him like a tsunami. 9.30am. It was way beyond 9am. Which meant that he was very, very late for his date.
"Oh crap! I am so gonna be late!!!"
*****
By the time Duo arrived at their rendezvous point, after much rushing and dashing throughout the whole journey, it was already ten-thirty, one and a half hours late. Slapping his forehead in frustration, he scanned the area for his date. Finally, he found her sitting alone on a bench. She was almost dozing off. 'Great job, Duo Maxwell. First date with your girlfriend, and you're late. Very late,' he reprimanded himself mentally.
He made his way towards Hilde. With a gentle shake, she woke up, startled. "Duo?"
Duo immediately apologized, "I sorry! I guess I slept too late last night! I'm really very sorry!"
Hilde smiled. "It's okay. I just arrived too. Late for forty-five minutes."
Her boyfriend asked, "Why? Did you have a bad night?"
"No. I was just... too excited to fall asleep. I find some things... hard to believe," she replied with a gentle smile.
Duo felt bad. Really very bad. He now understood that Hilde seemed to love him more than he loved her. And despite his promise to Vespera, he wasn't sure whether he would grow to love the woman in front of him. Like and love were two completely different matter. Perhaps she was right, that he had made a brash decision because of the deadline... ...Did he?
*****
"How was your date today?"
Duo gazed at Heero through narrowed eyes, and had to remind himself to shut his slack jaws. Were his ears fooling him? Or had Heero Yuy, the perfect soldier completely dedicated to the mission, seriously asked him about his date earlier?
"Heero? Are you okay?"
"Perfectly," he answered, gritting out his words. Irritably, he turned and walked away.
The American pilot was left standing in the corridor, thoroughly perplexed at Heero's sudden concern. Although he didn't admit it, it was really comforting to see him initiate a conversation. At least his efforts to get Heero to open up was getting paid off. Usually, he enjoyed raising Heero's ire with his incessant chatting and teasing, mainly because of his reactions. It was only a snort, but Duo felt delighted that there was just a reaction coming from the perfect soldier. Even if it spoke of irritation. Somehow, Duo felt that he had to help him open up his heart. As a friend, he assumed. A good friend.
But Heero had seldom initiated a conversation with him based on such frivolous topics. In his stunned surprise, he had responded the way he shouldn't have. And now Heero was getting angry.
Duo sighed.
*****
"What is wrong with him? When I'm not concerned, he complains. When I try to concerned, he doesn't believe me!"
"Maybe it's you. You've always been cold. And I do know that Duo has had better conversations with a brick wall," Vespera answered as-a-matter-of-factly.
Heero sighed deeply, a frown marring his handsome features. "So what do I do? Try again? Or go back to acting like myself, the cold and callous soldier?"
"Like yourself? Heero, I don't suppose you know exactly what's beneath your lukewarm surface, do you?"
What an eloquent cryptic answer. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, eyeing the girl suspiciously.
She merely smiled. Vespera closed her bright violet orbs and chanted softly, raising an arm over her head. Suddenly, they were at another place.
A myriad of colours greeted them. An endless waltz of beautiful flowers swayed lovingly towards each other as the smoothing breeze blew across the land. The enchanting petals became stages bristling with glory and fame, and the butterflies danced and fluttered around them in their performance. The sun shone gently on them and its rays reached every corner of the place. Wispy white clouds drifted across the skies lazily, shielding the land from the sometimes hot ball of fire. Heero would be lying if he said he didn't like the gigantic garden.
"This place is captivating."
"Sure it is. Do you know where we are now?" With another amused smile, she answered herself, "We are inside of you. This is your subconscious. The place where dreams becomes reality." Seeing Heero's dumbfounded expression, she explained further, "Everything you see here, is what you want. Like these flowers, for instance," she paused, holding up a yellow daisy and inhaled its romantic fragrance. "You like flowers a lot, don't you? That's why they're here. This is your Promised Land. A land that promises boundless happiness. It is where you want to be in, with your loved ones."
"My Promised Land," Heero echoed.
"One and only. Yours exclusively," Vespera assured him. Then, she pointed somewhere faraway. "See? Those are the people you treasure a lot in your life, but perhaps you don't even know it."
Heero looked at the direction she pointed. There, he saw, were several children engaged in a game of tag. And a little further away, was a much older man overlooking the playing children. Vespera held his arm and pulled him along to them. However, they stayed up in the air, and saw the kids playing with wide grins plastered onto their faces. Slowly, Heero identified them one by one.
"That's Relena... and that is Trowa, Wufei and Quatre." The names rolled off his tongue slowly, tone dripping with disbelief. The four children were laughing and playing happily. Heero never knew that they could be that happy. At least, not in the real life. "And that man... Odin Lowe?"
Then, a sonorous laugh attracted his attention. He saw, to his right, were two children sitting together in a conversation. One had an extraordinarily long chestnut braid and was rolling on the ground, clutching his stomach. He was panting and still laughing. The other kid was... himself. He had a smile on his face, and his eyes were warm. Before his braided companion could get up, he pounced and tackled him.
All of a sudden, Heero found himself back in the place he was in before. Vespera smiled as she spoke, "How is it? You see? That piece of beauty still lies in you. Deep, but it still exists. You're not as cold as you may think. That younger version of you is the real you. It's just that, after so many years of training and bloodshed, you've learnt to hide yourself behind your perfect soldier mask."
Heero shook his head in disbelief. "Why are all of them children? I only got to know them when they were fifteen..."
Vespera replied, "That's because you believe that they are pure in their hearts, like children. You really like them a lot. Especially Duo," she noted with satisfaction. "Now, tell me. Why are they inside your subconscious? You should know why. Let's start with Relena. I thought you've always wanted to kill her?"
"She... made a difference in me. Because of her, I started to feel, if only a little. And after all, she is an important person in this war-torn world. The world needs her."
"And the others?"
"Quatre is innocent at heart. I used to resent that, but now I realise that it's his innocence that preserves his heart. It's what enables to go through this war and not lose his soul. And Trowa... I got to know him in that one month of recuperation after my self-destruct attempt. He may be cold and impassive, but underneath all that façade, he still has a heart. For time and time again, he has saved us. And Wufei makes our group whole with his shouts of 'justice'. He makes our little group whole in his own special way."
"And Duo?" Vespera prompted eagerly.
"He... showed me what it was to survive, when all others did not. He taught me what it meant to smile when I thought it was just another facial expression. He taught me what it was like to enjoy the little things in life, and still fight for what I believe in. He's different from anyone I've ever known. I don't ever want to lose him, lose what he's taught and shown me."
'If I have my way, you'd be stuck to him like glue,' she thought to herself. But instead, she said, "You'd have to learn then, Heero, how to keep his friendship with you. You talk with him, you listen to him, you learn from him, and you feel him. Only then will you be able to build up your relationship with someone. Maintaining a relationship is not about waiting for it to happen. It's to make it happen."
She would have said more, but a voice called for her. And she faded back into the shadows, allowing Heero to think for himself.
Then, Heero woke up.
TBC...
[1]: Just in case some of you don't know, Rumpelstiltskin is the name of the gnome. The girl had to guess his name correctly or give him her first born in exchange for his help spinning straw into gold.
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