Heero's POV

The Wedding Planner Part 55
Truth and Consequences

To add insult to injury and top off the worst day of my life, I got a flat tire on the way back to Relena's. Let's just write it off as poetic justice; I must have run over a piece of metal during one of my reckless passes in the breakdown lane when I was racing over to Duo's to confront him.

Honestly, I never intended to hit him. I wanted answers--not revenge. But when he came to the door, he looked as gorgeous as ever, and I wanted him just as badly as I always did. Then he gave that adorable half-smile as he admitted he'd hit Relena, and I just snapped.

Fuck. I beat him up.

Now that my anger had been vented, I was left shaken and sick, wondering why I'd overreacted so severely. Why hadn't I demanded an answer from Duo, instead of just losing my temper? I wanted to know the truth--why he'd done what he did.

I wanted to know how I could have been so wrong about him. Was it my fault he'd acted the way he did? Was it our relationship that drove him to seek revenge on Relena for being with me? Why couldn't he have just waited? I told him I was going to break it off with Relena. I told him I loved him. Why wasn't that enough?

God, I felt like I was to blame for everything! If I'd just left him alone--never made a move on him--none of this would have happened.

It seemed singularly fitting that I was out there on the side of the highway in an increasingly cold breeze, changing a tire that my own recklessness had damaged. In fact, it seemed downright symbolic of the shambles my life was right at that moment. If only I could change the past as easily as I could change a tire.

~*~

By the time I got back out to the estate, it was early evening. Walter met me at the door, taking my coat and then hurrying off to make coffee, while I wearily ascended the stairs to see how Relena was feeling.

She looked much better, and was sitting up in bed by then, with a cup of tea on the night stand, and Milly puttering around tending to any needs. The maid smiled as I entered, and bustled out to take care of other chores.

Relena sat up sharply. "Heero, you're back!"

I nodded wordlessly, walking over and sitting on the edge of her bed. "Are you any better?" I asked without looking at her.

"I--yes. But, what happened?" she asked anxiously.

"I went over to Duo's and asked him if he hit you. He said 'yes,' so I hit him back," I said flatly, trying not to let the queasiness in my stomach carry to my voice.

"Oh, Heero...no," Relena breathed in horror. "You shouldn't have! This is all my fault!"

"Don't blame yourself for the fact that Duo's a fucking L2 gutter rat," I muttered, torn between hating him and hating myself.

"No, Heero! It was me. It was my fault," she said miserably.

"How was it your fault?" I asked wearily. Obviously sleeping with Duo had been a choice she made, but she couldn't have foreseen the results.

"I couldn't pull myself together enough to tell you--but I tried to call Quatre. I thought he'd get there in time."

"Get where?" I asked blankly, realizing she was babbling again. "In time for what?"

"To stop you," she blurted, her face flushed with emotion.

"Why would you want him to stop me?" I demanded. "Surely you can't still care about Duo after he hit you!"

"It wasn't like that," she asserted, and I felt the beginnings of unease.

"Wasn't like what?"

"Duo didn't hit me--not really. Well, not intentionally, anyway. I ran into his fist by accident."

I blinked, looking at her blankly. Nothing was making sense all of a sudden, but I felt a twisting of my gut that didn't bode well at all. "Relena?"

She looked down at the coverlet, picking at it with slightly shaking hands. "I was out on the veranda, with...Geoffrey...and Duo showed up."

"Geoffrey?" When the hell had he entered the picture? "What's he got to do with anything?"

"Duo--was going to tell you I'd--been with Geoffrey."

"But you said..." I had a sinking feeling that I'd jumped to all the wrong conclusions. "Didn't you cheat on me--with Duo?"

She shook her head, shrinking back against the pillows a little. "Geoffrey," she admitted in a near-whisper. "And when Duo saw us kissing, he threw a fit. He and Geoffrey fought, and I got in the middle and got hit by accident."

"Oh fuck."

She frowned at me in concern. "Heero?"

"Oh my fucking God," I groaned, seeing Duo's puzzled expression flash before my eyes once again. He'd really had no idea why I'd shown up at his door. "Shit, Relena--why didn't you tell me?"

"I tried--but I couldn't get it out."

"You and Duo didn't--?"

"No. He turned me down--again. And I got angry and told him he was fired; he got angry back and left."

"But the lipstick on his face--"

"I kissed him. I was trying to convince him not to tell you about Geoffrey." Tears were starting to spill down Relena's face again, but I had a hard time drumming up any sympathy this time around.

"Oh God," I said weakly. I knew how hard I'd hit Duo--hard enough to cause some serious damage. I knew my own strength, and truth be told, I hadn't been holding back. And it had little to do with the fact that he'd hit Relena, and everything to do with the fact that I thought he cheated on me with her.

It didn't bother me at all that she'd cheated with Geoffrey. But the thought that Duo might have, with her--just drove me crazy. Crazy enough to not wonder why a man who I knew was gay would sleep with a woman in the first place. Crazy enough to jump to every wrong conclusion I could have. Crazy enough to hurt the person I loved most in the world.

"Fuck!"

Relena started violently at my exclamation, pulling her blanket up as if to make a buffer between us. "What did you do?" she asked warily, her teary eyes studying my face, which must have been white as a sheet by that time.

"My God, what have I done?" I groaned, putting my face in my hands.

"Heero?" I caught a hint of panic in Relena's voice, and followed her horror-struck gaze to my knuckles, which had blood on them...Duo's blood. She shrank back a little, paling. "What did you do?!"

"I fucking beat him up!" I snapped harshly, wanting to rip my hair out in frustration. I'd jumped to the wrong conclusions, and instead of asking Duo what happened, had tried to hurt him as much as the perceived betrayal had hurt me.

"You beat him?" she gasped, her eyes still riveted on my bloody knuckles. "How badly?"

"I don't know!" I retorted, sick at the thought of how cruel I'd been.

"Oh, Heero. God!" Relena blurted, shaking her head. "Even if he'd hit me on purpose, it wouldn't have been worth doing that to him!"

I glared at Relena, feeling a rush of anger at her role in the misunderstanding. "I didn't do it because he hit you. I did it because I thought he'd cheated on me with you!"

She frowned in confusion. "Say that again?"

"You heard me," I snarled, pulling away and walking over to stand by the window. "I wasn't jealous of you, Relena. I was jealous of Duo!"

"W-why?"

"Because I-I have feelings for him," I stammered, tripping over the confession and not quite able to meet her eyes.

"You know Duo's gay. Right?"

I nodded.

"What kind of feelings?"

"I'm in love with him."

Relena's jaw dropped in shock, and under any other circumstances she'd probably have laughed and told me to stop joking around. "You--? You're--? You're in love with--with Duo?"

"Yes, Relena," I sighed, running a shaking hand across my face. "I've been trying to figure out how to tell you...how to approach the subject even." I looked at her with resignation. "Why d'you think I've been insisting we needed counseling? I wanted to tell you--that I might be--that I thought maybe--I was gay."

"But how--? I mean--it's not like we've never slept together--" she reminded me.

"Well, maybe I'm bisexual," I shrugged. "I don't know. I just know how I feel about Duo."

"When--?"

"When did I figure it out?" I ran a hand back through my hair. "Recently."

A frown settled on Relena's forehead, and I waited for the outburst I was sure was coming. But fuck it all, I deserved it! After all my colossal screw-ups that day, I deserved whatever she wanted to throw at me.

And then she started laughing...helplessly...falling back onto her pillows and putting both hands over her face.

Great. Now I'd driven my fiancée insane. What a perfect ending to the day from Hell!

"Relena, are you okay?"

She nodded, muffling her hysterical laughter under both of her hands.

I walked back over, sitting next to her and trying to get her attention before Walter heard the shrill noise and thought I was harming her. After the day he'd had, I figured he was a bit paranoid as well.

"Relena--?"

She regained control of herself at last, lifting her hands from her tear-streaked face. "Oh, Heero--it's just too unbelievable," she gasped, shaking her head. "I hired him. You didn't even want a wedding planner...but now you want the wedding planner!"

She dissolved into giggles, and I thought I might need to have Walter call the family doctor again. I didn't think she was really processing the information I'd given her.

"Relena, are you listening to me?" I asked sharply. "I mean really listening?"

She wiped her face, drawing a deep breath and pulling herself together. "I am. Really, I am, darling," she said weakly. "I just--oh, God! You beat him up!" Her laughter died in an instant, and her expression became tragic. "Oh, Heero--you honestly thought he slept with me?"

I sighed deeply. "It's not outside the realm of possibility, Relena. You're an attractive woman."

"But he's gay!"

"Yes--and if I were a rational human being, I might have remembered that," I conceded. "But after a ten-hour flight, with three delays, lost luggage, and a cab driver from Hell, I wasn't at my most rational when I got here." I splayed a hand across my face. "That's no excuse."

"No, it's not," she agreed. "But my hysterics didn't help, either." Her arms slid around my waist in a comforting gesture. "I'm sorry, Heero," she said quietly.

"For what?" I asked blankly, wondering where the list might begin. Was she sorry for hiring Duo? Sorry I was gay? Sorry she'd fueled my confusion and anger? All of the above?

"Everything," she said simply, with that grace that I truly loved about her.

When I least expected Relena to come through, she seemed to rise to an occasion. Granted, she'd had time to recover and have tea while I'd been out ruining any chance I'd ever had at happiness--but her sympathetic gesture calmed me down immeasurably.

"What--what should I do?" I asked quietly, in desperate need of guidance--any guidance at all.

She pulled back, frowning up at me. "I'm not sure I'm the one to ask," she admitted, turning her face away. "After all this, you haven't said a word about what sparked the whole thing--the fact that Geoffrey was here."

"I guess I should be angry, but I think I've used up enough rage for a lifetime," I sighed. "If you want Geoffrey that badly, I think you should be with him."

"So you can be with Duo?" she asked, with a hint of suspicion.

"I think that's unlikely," I said flatly, feeling like a rock was crushing my chest.

"Does he know how you feel?"

"He did--before I hit him. Now I'm sure it doesn't matter."

She looked pensively down at the comforter she was wrapped in. "What about us?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know," I admitted. "Right now, 'Lena, I don't know much of anything, except that my stupidity and jealousy just lost me the most exciting, intoxicating, loving person I ever knew."

She gave me a look that was a cross between a pout and a scowl. "I think I've just been seriously dissed."

I rolled my eyes. "Admit it, Relena--you and I don't exactly inspire thrills in one another. As you've said before, we're compatible--comfortable. We're good friends, and our lifestyles fit together well." I gave a short, bitter laugh. "According to Duo, we deserve each other."

"He said that?"

"He was a bit upset with me," I admitted. "At the engagement party...with Mill?"

"Oh." Relena's eyes widened. "Oh!" If the day had been any less horrible, I might have laughed at her expression as she thought back to how she'd thrown Duo and Milliardo together, and my reaction. And I could watch the play of emotions across her face as she ran through her memories of every meeting we'd had--every interaction with Duo.

She shook her head sadly. "My God, how we've messed with Duo's life," she sighed.

I blinked in surprise at the show of sympathy.

It must have shown on my face, because Relena shrugged slightly. "I mean look at us. I flirted with him, hit on him when I was drunk...tried to set him up with my brother. And you--! You hated him, made peace with him, fell in love with him, and now you've beaten him up. God, we're awful!"

"I'm--surprised you feel that way," I said in wonder. "It doesn't bother you that I developed feelings for him?"

"Do you think I didn't?" she replied frankly. "If he weren't gay, do you think I wouldn't have fallen in love with him as easily as you did?"

"There was nothing easy about it," I muttered, rubbing my eyes. "Fuck, I'm tired."

She gave a rather soft, pensive smile.

"What?"

"You--just don't usually talk about feelings. Duo's changed you," she noted. "When I was never able to."

"Um, Mister Yuy? There are two police officers here to see you, sir. Shall I tell them you're not in?"

"Police?" Relena asked, paling. "Heero, how badly did you hurt Duo?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I didn't stay to find out."

"How many times did you hit him?"

"A couple...three...I think." I shook my head. "Damn it, Relena, it's all a fucking blur."

"Was he conscious when you left? Did you even think to call paramedics--anyone?"

I shook my head, my stomach clenching in fear. I could recall all too clearly the feeling as my fist had made contact with Duo's face, and I knew it hurt him--apparently badly. I swallowed to keep from throwing up.

"God, Heero!" Relena appeared torn between worry for me and anger at what I had done. But, ever the diplomat, she was good at thinking her way through stressful situations--at least most of the time. And as I said, she'd had time to compose herself while I was off destroying my life. She looked from me to Walter. "Did the officers say why they're here?"

"No, miss. Just that they're here to see Mister Yuy."

"Tell them--"

"No!" I said sharply, standing up. "I'll talk to them."

"And if they're here to arrest you?" Relena asked.

"Then I damned well deserve it!" I retorted, filled with sudden dread. What if Duo were seriously injured? And it was my fault. "Fuck," I muttered quietly, heading for the door.

"Heero!"

I looked back at Relena. "Just stay put, Relena. Walter will tell you if I'm arrested."

She nodded meekly, settling back into her pillows. "When you get back, we'll talk--about us--about what we should do. Okay?"

I nodded, and followed Walter down the stairs to the foyer. There were two officers waiting by the front door. "Mister Yuy?"

I nodded.

"We need you to come downtown with us," said the officer who seemed to be running the show.

"Am I--under arrest?" I asked carefully, trying not to let them see how rattled I was.

They exchanged a glance, and then the first one nodded. "You understand, you have the right to remain silent? If--"

"I know my rights," I said curtly.

He nodded. "I still have to read them to you."

I sighed. "How about in the cruiser on the way to the station?" I suggested. "To save time."

His glance traveled past me to the elegant surroundings. "I'm sure there's no need for--restraints."

Damn straight! Had they insisted on the whole fanfare of handcuffing me and making a production out of the arrest, I'd have had a team of lawyers down their throats by morning. Guilty or not, I wouldn't put up with being humiliated. Not that I didn't deserve it...but from Duo...not the police.

I glanced at Walter, who looked decidedly pale. "Tell Miss Peacecraft I'll call Wufei to arrange bail, and I'll talk to her tomorrow."

"Yes, sir."

I turned back to the police officers. "Can I ask you--is Duo--Mister Maxwell, all right?"

"Dunno, sir," came the polite reply as the officer held the door for me to precede them out. "We just got orders to bring you downtown."

Shit. I couldn't even find out how badly I'd hurt Duo. "What am I being charged with?" I pressed, knowing that would tell me a little bit, at least.

"Assault."

Okay--well at least it wasn't murder or attempted murder. At least I was marginally reassured that Duo would be all right. And the ride to the station gave me time to think--about a lot of things.

Obviously I wasn't great at interpersonal relationships. The beat-up punching bag in my workout room was mute evidence of my tendency to use my fists to release my emotions. And had I stuck to that, it would have been fine. But I'd crossed a line when I flew off the handle at Duo...and I knew it. I wondered if maybe the judge would order anger management counseling as part of my sentence. If he didn't, I decided I'd go anyway.

It was a safe alternative to offering Duo a chance to hit me back--he'd probably kill me. I know in his place, I'd want a pound of flesh in return for the damage done to me. I'd gladly have given him anything right then, just to get him to talk to me. But I suspected he wouldn't--ever.

The only thing that kept me from breaking down and crying was the thought of how much entertainment the two officers would get out of telling folks in the precinct about the grown man sobbing in the back seat of their cruiser.

~*~

The processing didn't take long, and I made my one phone call to Wufei, simply telling him to come to the station and bring bail money. He showed up in record time.

"This had better be good, Yuy," he commented dryly, leaning on the bars of the cell and fixing an only slightly amused glare on me.

I shook my head. "Just pay the man and let's get the hell out of here," I said curtly.

Fifteen minutes later we were in Wufei's car, headed out of the city, and I was trying to read a fucking restraining order by the light in his glove compartment.

"Damn it, Chang! Is this bulb the right wattage?"

"Generally people use the overhead light for reading, Yuy."

"It'll interfere with your driving." I glared down at the legal document. "I'm not allowed within fifty yards of Duo--? Fuck."

"So whatever landed you in jail involves Duo," Wufei guessed accurately. "Explain."

I didn't know where to start, but I knew what I wanted next. "Take the next exit, Wufei. I need to stop at The Circus."

"And if Maxwell is there you'll be violating a restraining order, Yuy," came the rather sharp reply. "Why don't you tell me what happened today?"

"I will--as soon as you head for The Circus."

He gave a frustrated sigh and nodded. "Have it your way. But the last time I saw you, you were waiting for your luggage and planning to call Relena to send Pargan. How the hell did you screw that up?"

I drew a deep breath. "After you left the airport, I called the estate, and kept getting the answering machine. I remembered that Relena had said something about being with Duo for wedding stuff today...which seemed odd since I knew Quatre had taken over the account. But I tried Duo's cell phone anyway. When he answered and I asked for Relena, he got evasive...he told me he'd have to have her call back. But she never did. And neither did he." I stared out the window as we pulled off the highway and began the drive to The Circus. "I got the luggage mess cleared up and took a taxi out to Relena's, only to have Walter meet me at the door, telling me there'd been some kind of altercation...that Duo had been there and left in a rage, and that Relena had a bruise on her face, as if she'd been hit."

Wufei raised an eyebrow at that. "What on Earth could have--?" He caught himself sharply. "Continue."

"Relena was hysterical...babbling about Duo, and cheating on me, and him being angry, hitting her, and threatening to tell me."

"She said Duo hit her?"

"Yes. But I didn't let her finish. I took off to track him down."

"Fuck," muttered Wufei. "Yuy, you're an asshole."

"What?"

"You heard me. You went off half-cocked, didn't you?"

"I went to Duo's and asked him straight out if he hit Relena. 'Fei, he said yes."

"And did you let him explain why?"

I shook my head. "I just started hitting him," I admitted.

"You idiot!" Wufei blurted, his expression one of disgust. "Damn it, Yuy--I hardly know Maxwell and I know he wouldn't have hit her without reason. You fucking slept with the man--and you believed such a load of crap?" He shook his head. "I should put you out here and make you walk home."

"Thanks for the show of support," I said flatly, tempted to just open the door and throw myself out.

"I'll be happy to be supportive, if I ever feel you deserve it again," he said unsympathetically. His dark eyes darted me a cold glance, but I thought I saw a flicker of sympathy in them. "So what's the story behind all this? Surely you've found it out by now."

"Yes. When I got back to her place, Relena explained it all. She spent the day with Geoffrey. When I called Duo, apparently he got suspicious and went out there, only to catch them kissing on the veranda. He and Geoffrey fought, and Relena got in the way of a punch."

"You fucking idiot," Wufei repeated. "You thought when she mentioned cheating that she was talking about Duo and her?"

I nodded.

"He's gay, Yuy! Do you not know what that means?"

"I had sex with him, 'Fei! Yes, I think I know what it means!"

"Clearly you don't. Not if you think he'd ever be sexually attracted to a woman."

"Wufei, I'm gay--and I've slept with Relena."

"That makes you bisexual, Yuy, not gay. Duo's gay."

"Well how was I supposed to know that?" I blurted defensively. "He could have been bisexual for all I knew!"

"He nearly married two men," Wufei reminded me.

"And I nearly married Relena," I snapped back. "That doesn't make me straight, though!"

"Touché," he said sarcastically.

"Look, can we just stop rehashing what I did and focus on how I can fix it?"

Wufei's jaw dropped. "Fix it? You think you can fix this, Yuy? I just bailed you out of jail. Do you honestly think Duo would have you arrested and then forgive you for hitting him?"

"No. I mean--maybe--I don't know!" I blurted in frustration. "I just want to get to The Circus and find out if he's okay. Relena said she called Quatre to try to intercept me; so he must have gotten there after I left and either talked Duo into filing a complaint or done it on his behalf."

"You have no idea how badly you hurt him?"

"No," I said quietly.

"You're an idiot," came the flat reply.

"I think we've established that," I sighed, feeling the familiar sting of tears in my eyes, and blinking them back.

We pulled into the parking lot at The Circus, and I looked hopefully for the Jeep or the Jag, only to be disappointed. On the one hand, I was glad Duo wasn't there, because it meant I could go in...but on the other, it meant that perhaps he was too hurt to drive, and that worried me.

When Wufei and I walked in the door, the look Trowa shot me from behind the bar could have boiled water. "You're not welcome here!" he said hotly, starting to put aside his work and come around the bar.

"It's a public place--" I said stubbornly.

"It's my place. My rules. Get out."

"Please, Trowa--have you heard from Duo or Quatre? I--I need to know if Duo's okay. And I'm not allowed to call him."

"He's not home anyway," Trowa snarled. "Thanks to you, he's in the hospital."

I sank down onto a bar stool, feeling like I'd been kicked in the gut. "Is he--okay?"

"Shit, no!" Trowa exploded at me. "He got the fucking shit beat out of him, asshole."

"I didn't mean to--" That wasn't true. I had meant to hurt him...but for all the wrong reasons.

"I don't give a shit what you meant to do," Trowa growled. "You hurt him--and that hurt Quatre. Get the fuck out of my bar, Yuy!"

I nodded. Trowa was right. I didn't deserve to breathe the same air as Duo's friends. "Would you tell him--I'm sorry?"

The green eyes gleamed with anger. "Tell him yourself. No! On second thought, just stay the hell away from him. You've done enough damage already."

There was no point in arguing against the truth, so I stood up shakily and headed for the door. Wufei caught my arm as I passed, handing me the car keys. "I'll be along in a moment."

I nodded, taking the keys, and went out to sit in the car and wait for him.

When he showed up a few moments later, he didn't say anything until he'd started up the car and was pulling out of the parking lot, heading in the direction of his house.

"Did Trowa talk to you?" I asked.

He nodded. "A bit. I told him that in spite of being there with you, I still considered myself a friend of Duo's, and I reminded him I had nothing to do with your actions today. He made the concession of telling me Duo has a concussion, cracked ribs, and probably a broken nose, but that they expect him to be okay."

I buried my face in my hands. I broke his nose? That perfect, gorgeous, kissable nose? This time I wasn't sure I could hold back the tears.

I heard a wry snort from my companion. "If you're contemplating asking me to beat some sense into you, I'd be amenable," he said wryly. "But I don't promise to hold back. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I wasn't. Obviously."

"I can't believe you hit that face," he said in a horrified tone. "That's like defacing a work of art."

"I know!" I growled into my hands.

"You're an ass, Yuy. A complete ass."

"Then why don't you just throw me out here?" I demanded, sitting up and glaring at my friend. "I may as well walk the rest of the way to the penthouse as listen to you lecture me about what I already know!"

He glanced sideways at me, and I noticed a slight widening of the onyx eyes. "Are you...crying?"

"Fuck you!" I spat, turning my face away. It was bad enough I'd ruined my one chance at happiness. I didn't need Wufei smirking at my show of emotion.

He gave a short, dry chuckle. "Perhaps there's a speck of hope for you after all," he muttered.

TBC...

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