Duo's POV
The Wedding Planner Part 44
Falling
I know I was being a coward, but the truth of the matter was, I couldn't face Heero...not without probably losing control again. I didn't know how he felt about the kiss--if he was sorry, regretful--or even why he did it in the first place. I mean, shit! The guy was engaged...to a woman. I'd assumed all along he had to be straight--and I think he did, too. Maybe we'd both been wrong.
For a straight guy, he sure knew how to kiss a man. There was nothing shy or tentative about that kiss--it was forceful and hungry, and it almost melted my legs out from under me. No one had ever kissed me like that. Only Solo and Alex had even come close--and both of them had been just a bit more--restrained, for lack of a better word.
So what to do about Heero Yuy?
Aside from almost falling off the wagon and trying to hide in a bottle, I couldn't come up with any ideas.
"Jesus, Duo--at least get dressed and pretend to join the real world," came Quatre's weary, pragmatic voice from the doorway.
"Don't wanna," I muttered, curling up around my forgotten book and clutching my coffee cup protectively. I was sitting in the bay window wearing Quatre's sweats, wrapped in a quilt I'd pilfered off the guest room bed, and trying to read something I'd grabbed off the bookcase in the hall.
"It was just a kiss," Quatre pointed out.
"From a client, Quat...an engaged client. And engaged, straight, male client."
"I know," he sighed. "And while, on the surface, that appears to be a bad thing, it might not be the end of the world."
"How so?"
"Maybe he's just got pre-wedding jitters."
"So he kissed another man due to nerves?" I demanded. "Most guys would pick up a girl in a bar for a last fling."
"Obviously, Heero's not like most guys," Quatre shrugged.
No, he wasn't. He was gorgeous--from the thick, chocolate-brown hair to those deep blue eyes you could just drown in. And much as I hated to admit it, I really, really wanted him.
What scared me was that I wanted him as more than a one-night stand. I could imagine taking a lifetime to get to know all the complexities of his personality. I mean--shit--the guy could be a hard-assed business exec one minute and the nicest guy in the world the next. The moments when he let his guard down--like at the stable, and on the sailboat--were absolutely breathtaking. It was like he'd missed out on most of life's simple pleasures, and I had an overwhelming urge to help him experience every one of them. (I'd say "minds out of the gutter," but face it...I wanted to show him those pleasures, too.)
I must have groaned aloud, because Quatre walked over and sat beside me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "You've got it bad, haven't you?"
I looked away. "Got what?"
"Feelings for him..." Quatre said with a sad, wistful lilt to his voice. "Love."
"No!" I said sharply.
"Duo--I watched you fall in love with Alex--remember? I know the signs."
I pulled my knees up to my chest, burying my face against them. "Goddamnit, Quatre--I can't fall in love with Yuy. He's not available, and he's not gay!"
"Then why did he kiss you?"
"I don't fucking know!" I exploded at him. "Maybe he just wanted to know what it was like kissing another guy. Curiosity."
"Or attraction."
I groaned again. "Would you please just take over the Peacecraft account, Quat? I can't see him again."
"I thought you quit."
"Yeah, but I doubt Heero will tell Relena why--or even that I did quit. I just know he'll talk me into finishing it. Please, Quat, you do it."
"And how will I explain it to Relena?"
"Tell her I fucking died for all I care!" I raised my face to him, trying to convey just how desperate I was with only a look. "The work is ninety percent done, Quatre. You just need to finalize a few details..."
"Like whether the groom is gonna leave the bride for another guy?"
"Goddamnit, Quat! Don't even say that!"
He had the decency to look a little apologetic, and then he sighed and nodded. "If it makes you feel better, I'll handle any more meetings needed on the account. But that means you'll have to take over the Bloom wedding; Trowa's sister."
"I'll take any ten accounts if it gets me out of having to see Heero again."
"Fine...then I suggest you pull yourself together, and we can go have some breakfast," my blonde friend said brightly. "I'll fill you in on Catherine Bloom's wedding, and then you can head home and take care of the calls you ignored yesterday to go sailing with your boyfriend."
"Quat--!"
He arched an eyebrow at me. "Am I wrong?"
"Only about the 'boyfriend' part." I pretty much had ditched my responsibilities to go sailing.
"Then what is he to you?" came the quick retort.
"I--I wish I knew," I sighed wearily, wondering if I should just give up hiding behind Quatre and face up to Heero. The least I could do was talk to him--find out what prompted that kiss, and what it really meant. Maybe there was an innocent explanation...one that wouldn't boil down to my being a homewrecking slut.
And maybe I was delusional, too.
~*~
With Quatre's prodding, I did finally pull myself together, change back into my slightly wrinkled clothes from the previous day, and join him at breakfast. After that, I went back to my apartment, lugging that goddamned giraffe up several flights of stairs and past the wide-eyed looks of a couple of neighbors, before finding refuge in my peaceful abode.
I made it in the nick of time, as a storm was moving in and the air was heavy with the smell of brine. Any later, and my gigantic giraffe and I might've been caught in a downpour, and frankly, in spite of the crazy turn the previous day had taken, I really treasured that silly animal. He was a tangible, albeit comical link to Heero, and suddenly reminded me what lengths the man had gone to in order to please me. I'd have hated for him to get soaked.
I figured it would rain by evening. Not that I minded. When the surf was that high, I could open the windows in my apartment and listen to the soothing crash of waves from almost any room. Again, that was the reason I'd chosen the place; me and my obsession with the sea. And considering my current emotional turmoil, the weather suited me perfectly.
It took me all afternoon to finish calling back the clients I'd ignored the previous day. And that task forced me to listen to my answering machine...and each soft, painful plea from Heero, asking me to give him a chance to explain and apologize.
In the face of such blatant remorse and guilt, how could I stay angry? Even Quatre could see the depth of my feelings for Heero; so trying to hide them from myself was just pointless. Yeah, I was crazy in love with him.
For all the good that would do me.
When the doorbell rang, it never occurred to me it might be anyone other than Quatre, coming to check up on my progress. Instead I found Heero standing uncertainly outside my door, his hands stuffed into his pockets as if to hide their shaking.
My own palms felt clammy as I gripped the edge of the door tightly, hoping it would help me stay calm and in control. Psh--yeah, right!
When he saw me, Heero straightened his shoulders, but it did nothing to conceal the uncertainty on his face. "Duo--can we talk?"
I swallowed--hard. "Nothing to say, Yuy. Water under the bridge, eh?"
He shook his head. "I wish it was that simple."
"Well it is!" I snarled, my hands dropping from the door and curling into fists at my sides. "What happened shouldn't have--so let's just pretend it didn't and get on with our lives!"
"I can't do that. Can you?"
"I can try."
"Does that mean you'll come back to work?"
By "work", you mean planning your fucking wedding, right?
I drew a deep, frustrated breath. "Most of the work is already done. And Quatre can handle any loose ends," I pointed out.
"Loose ends," he echoed softly. "Like you and me?"
"There is no you and me. There can't be! I told you, that kiss never should have happened."
"No, it shouldn't have--not if I really loved Relena." His intense blue eyes searched mine. "But it did happen. And I'm not sorry it happened." He dropped his gaze to the floor. "I'm just sorry it scared you so much that you had to run."
"I didn't know what else to do," I admitted quietly. "You surprised the living shit out of me."
"I had no right to--to kiss you like that. I just--I couldn't help myself."
I tried to read his expression without much success. "Couldn't help yourself?" I echoed. "That's pretty funny, 'Ro--considering I'm the one who's gay. If anyone should've lost control and given in to temptation, it should've been me."
"I'm sorry," he repeated, taking a half-step towards me.
"You said that before," I reminded him. "What you haven't said is why. Why'd you do that?" I couldn't keep the pain from my voice. "I'm gay...and you're not. You're engaged to Relena Peacecraft...I'm not. Don't play games with me, 'Ro--I've been hurt enough for a lifetime."
"No games, Duo..." he said quietly, his intense eyes boring into mine.
"Then what was that?" I demanded. "Did you just want to know what it'd be like to kiss a gay guy?"
"No! Oh, God no, Duo!" He shook his head. "It wasn't a whim; it wasn't just curiosity. It was you. Fuck--I wanted you so badly--"
"W-wanted?" I stuttered, wishing that the yearning in his voice didn't make my whole body burn with desire.
He nodded, his piercing gaze never leaving me. "I wanted to kiss you for the longest time. I still want to."
"But you--you're straight," I tried to remind him. "Aren't you?"
"Apparently not," he said quietly, looking just a little uncertain. In fact, he looked adorably hesitant and vulnerable. And yet he moved closer, catching my hands in his and drawing me gently towards him.
"No! You can't. I can't. We can't," I protested weakly, desperately wishing I didn't physically feel my attraction to him, like a drug rushing through my veins.
We were almost flush against each other by that time, and I could feel the heat of his breath on my face as he leaned in so that our lips were nearly brushing.
"Sure we can," he murmured huskily, his eyes dark with lust.
"This can't go anywhere."
"I know." His gaze dropped to my lips, those deep blue eyes half-closed and dreamy.
I tried one last time. "Don't," I whispered. "Don't do this to me. I don't want to be some stupid fling for you...some experimental test of your sexuality." The heavy lids lifted and blue eyes were once again staring into mine.
"You're not, Duo. Not a fling...not an experiment. You're everything; you're all I want. I want you so badly." His voice dropped to a whisper so quiet I barely heard the next word. "Please."
Aw, fuck! I never had a chance. It'd been so long. So long since I'd been drawn to anyone so strongly...so long since I'd been touched by hands that meant something to me. I knew it was wrong. I knew I'd regret it--big time.
But I also knew it was the only chance I'd get to taste Heero--to feel his skin under my fingers--to get lost in those incredible eyes. If I turned him away now, he wasn't going to come back. I knew damned well that he'd take "no" for an answer if I gave it. And I couldn't force the word from my throat.
Instead, I let him kiss me again, savoring the taste of his lips, his tongue, his goddamned soul! He eased through the door, pushing me ahead of him, and kicking it shut behind him, closing out the world.
And then we were working our way towards the bedroom, not in a fevered rush of scattered clothing and desperate touches--but slowly and deliberately.
I paused to slip my shoes off, and he took the opportunity to remove his jacket and toss it onto an arm of the couch. When I deftly unbuttoned his shirt, he skillfully slipped my belt free of its loops and put it on the table in the hall as we passed. And by the time I dropped a hand to knead the hardness in the front of his pants, he was kissing my neck and sliding a hand up under my untucked shirt.
I maneuvered him to the bed, and stood back to peel my tee shirt off over my head as he tossed his aside and leaned back against the midnight blue comforter.
"Sweet mother of God," I murmured under my breath, nearly struck speechless by the sight of him sprawled across my bed waiting for me, the sound of the nearby surf so loud through the open window that it felt like we were right next to the pounding waves. I must've died and gone to Heaven, though I'd been reasonably certain I'd be sent in the opposite direction.
But all in good time.
And speaking of a "good time," I loosened the button on my jeans and crawled up next to Heero, leaning to brush my lips across his collarbone as I undid his zipper.
"Last chance to chicken out," I breathed softly, letting my fingers trail slowly up across his waist and abs.
He shivered under the touch, his lips parted and his breathing quick and harsh. "Not if my life depended on it," he growled in a husky undertone, pushing my hand back down towards the open front of his pants.
God--you don't have to ask twice.
My hand slipped inside both slacks and boxers, and Heero groaned aloud, arching against my touch...a motion which made it that much easier to divest him of the last of his clothing.
I was trembling as I shrugged my worn jeans down over my hips and let them slide down my legs and off the edge of the bed to the floor. And when I saw the half-lidded, hazy look in Heero's eyes, I felt a jolt of pure lust in return. He was fucking gorgeous--his skin golden against the dark blanket. From his broad, well-muscled chest to the slim, tapered waist and chiseled abs, he was a picture of perfection.
I rolled so that I was half-over him, leaning to trail kisses across his shoulder and collarbone, and then letting my lips brush one perfect nipple.
He hissed in pleasure, tensing beneath me. "That's--amazing," he groaned, shivering as I proceeded to lick and tease his flesh.
"You like?" I asked around a mouthful of sweet, tender skin.
"I love," came the slightly hoarse reply.
Grinning triumphantly, I lavished attention on the other nipple, reveling in the squirming and trembling response I got. He was fucking amazing! I'd never felt so completely in control, even as I was losing my mind with passion.
"Gonna make you feel so good, baby," I murmured against his skin, allowing my lips the pure pleasure of tracing every curve of muscle as I worked my way down his body.
"Duo--what are you--oh, God!"
His voice ended in a strangled gasp as I finally reached his arousal and ran my tongue around the tip before taking it in my mouth.
"Fuck!" he ground out in a choked exclamation.
"Mmm--soon," I promised, releasing him only long enough for that brief reply, and then taking him even deeper, delighting in the way his hips bucked against my restraining hands.
His hands fisted in the comforter, and he moaned and writhed deliciously as I did everything I could think of to drive him mad with pleasure. And if his responses were any indicator, he'd never experienced a well-executed blow job before. Hot damn!
"I can't--! I'm going to--oh, fuck!" he gasped as he came, his head thrown back against the blankets and his eyes closed in ecstasy.
I almost lost it as well, savoring both the taste of him and the expression on his face as he convulsed in pleasure.
But I fought back the tension, concentrating instead on finishing him, and then placing a gentle kiss on the inside of his thigh before sidling back up next to him, and running my fingers through his sweat-dampened hair.
"Too soon--" he breathed raggedly, opening his eyes and looking at me with frustration written on his face.
"Aw, baby, we've barely started," I murmured in his ear, taking the lobe between my lips and sucking gently. "Wait'll we get to the good stuff."
He groaned again, and then turned towards me so that our bodies were pressed together and he could run a strong, gentle hand up my back. "Everything," he begged quietly. "Teach me everything."
"Anything you want," I promised, rolling onto my back and pulling him on top of me. "First, gimme another kiss...and then I'll show you what to do with those incredible hands of yours."
TBC...
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