Author's Note: Sorry for the HUGE delay, but I had to get "Boot Camp" finished, since it was so close to the end. Now I can focus on this story, for which the ending is already written, and there are just a few interim chapters needing fine-tuning; so it should go up quickly. Thanks for your patience--or actually impatience--which kept urging me to get back to work on this! I'll try not to disappoint.
Heero's POV
The Wedding Planner Part 33
Soul-Searching
I hung up the phone and resisted the urge to bang my head against the wall.
Wufei came walking out juggling two plates with enormous sandwiches on them, and two bottles clutched between his arm and his side. "Get the beer, Yuy!"
I hastily rescued the drinks, joining him at the little table on his porch.
"So--did you get hold of Maxwell?" he asked, settling into a chair and opening a bottle.
"Yeah," I muttered sourly. "That bastard Milliardo was there."
Wufei raised an eyebrow. "Doing what--? Oh."
I glared viciously. "It's not what you think." Actually, I was afraid it was. I was afraid Mill had already wormed his way into Duo's bed, if not his heart, and that fear gnawed at me. "He used the jacket as an excuse to go 'apologize.' But I'd lay odds he was trying for an invite to spend the night."
Wufei nodded wisely. "He doesn't miss a trick, does he?" I'd told him all about the distributor cap incident, the forgotten jacket, and even Milliardo's pass at me. Once he got over his hysterical laughter at that last incident, and I got over the urge to throttle him, we'd talked a bit more about my attraction to Duo. And it was that discussion that had prompted me to call to apologize while Wufei was inside making us sandwiches.
"Good choice of words, 'Fei," I told him. "Returning the jacket and apologizing for the misunderstanding at least got him in the door." I scowled deeply. "And considering how Duo sounded when he answered the phone--" I couldn't quite bring myself to say where I thought Milliardo's evening had been heading.
Wufei winced slightly, and cleared his throat uneasily. "There's no reason Maxwell can't make his own decision about Milliardo," he pointed out. "He's a grown man--and your brother-in-law is very good-looking." Wufei looked at me with an almost teasing gleam in his dark eyes. "I wonder why you aren't attracted to him."
"Because he's not Duo," I said quickly, without thinking.
"God, Yuy--you really are in deep, aren't you?"
I rubbed a hand across my eyes. "Fuck, I don't know," I sighed.
"Maybe you need to find out--" mused my friend, frowning slightly.
I avoided answering him, or exploring that idea in more detail by taking a mouthful of sandwich.
Wufei seemed to take the hint, subsiding and taking a bite of his own meal, chewing reflectively. But, of course, he couldn't let the subject drop. He had to keep poking at it, like a hornet's nest with a stick. "You know, if you're gay, and you marry Relena, it'll never work out."
"I know that." I scowled darkly at him. "I also know it's not fair for me to start something with Duo if I'm not."
"I'd think that your attraction to him at least means you're bisexual."
"Great," I drawled wearily. "That's not exactly helpful."
"Sorry."
I didn't pay much heed to the phone ringing inside the house; but a few minutes later Sally appeared at the door, phone in hand. "Heero--it's Relena."
I glared at Wufei's wife. "How'd she know I was here?"
"I told her," Sally replied, glaring back. "You two need to stop this bickering. For Heaven's sake--you're engaged!"
"For now," I mumbled under my breath, putting down the remains of my sandwich and holding out a hand for the phone.
Sally stuffed it into my hand, and went to Wufei. "I'm going ahead to bed," she told him, leaning in for a quick kiss. She gave me a reassuring smile as she passed. "Talk to her, Heero. You two really need to communicate better."
Wufei stood up quickly. "I'll walk you in," he told his wife, sparing me a glance that said volumes about his desire to stay out of the middle of Relena's and my issues. "I'll be right back, Yuy."
I waited until they'd gone inside and shut the door behind them, and then put the phone to my ear. "What do you want, Relena?"
"Well, for starters, you could come back home and have a civil conversation with me," she said curtly.
"I'm not sure you'd understand the concept of civility," I snarled. "You certainly weren't particularly civil when it came to setting Duo up without his consent, sabotaging his car, and insulting the colony he came from." I shook my head, though she couldn't see. "I'm amazed he didn't quit outright! I could hardly blame him if he did."
I heard a frustrated breath on the other end of the phone. "I'll apologize for the car the next time I see him," she ground out as if it were a great concession. "As for the rest, I was simply shocked that he could have come from L2 and hidden it so well. It was an understandable reaction, Heero."
"I didn't react that way," I pointed out. "Neither did Milliardo."
"Milliardo has--a very broad mind," she said carefully. "And he was so swept up by Duo's good looks that I'm sure it colored his judgment."
"There you go again--why is there a need to have a 'judgment' of Duo based on his birthplace? He's a great guy, Relena--regardless of any trivial crap like where he grew up."
She sniffed impassively. "What happened to you thinking he was 'unsuitable?'"
"That was my knee-jerk reaction to his gender and his proximity to you when I first met him," I admitted. "Speaking of which--exactly what did happen between the two of you?" I tried to tell myself I was jealous of Relena, not Duo. But it was a weak lie at best. The thought of him in her arms drew a stronger reaction from me than my initial response to the thought of her in his. How insane was that?
"Oh, for Heaven's sake!" she snapped. "I was drunk out of my mind, Heero. So I kissed him? It was nothing, really."
"You kissed him?"
There was a pause. "I thought you said he told you what happened."
"He admitted you made a pass at him," I told her, loathe to reveal how little I actually knew.
Another pause. "Is that all he said?"
"Relena, you may as well come clean about it," I warned. "If you don't, I'll weasel it out of Duo."
"There's nothing to 'weasel' out of him!" she said hotly. "It was just a couple of stupid kisses...nothing more."
"A couple," I echoed, my simmering anger beginning to boil over. "Did you fucking cop a feel while you were at it?" I demanded, all my past jealousy of Relena's little flings coming back with a vengeance. "Did you invite him to bed? Exactly how much of a pass did you make?"
"You're being unreasonable--"
"Damn right, I am! You tried to fuck the wedding planner Relena! Do you honestly think we're going to merrily continue our engagement under those circumstances?"
I heard an absolutely horrified gasp. "I did not try to--to--" The words ended in a choked sound. "Are you--calling it off?" Her voice broke at the end of the sentence, and I could hear her gulping for air, tears bubbling up from her throat.
Fuck. I couldn't take it when she cried, dammit!
"Relena--no. I just--I think we need to-- We need some--time. Maybe some counseling, like 'Fei suggested." I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I don't know!" I blurted in frustration.
She was sniffling and choking back sobs by then, and I felt like an ass. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the door open and Wufei pause, realizing the conversation wasn't over yet, but that it was too late to make a discreet exit.
"Relena...I can't do this over the phone," I finally muttered.
"Do what--?" she whimpered between stifled breaths. "Break up with me?"
"No!" I asserted. Goddamnit, I was so confused by then I didn't know what to do. I knew I felt something for Duo--but I had no idea what. And I couldn't justify breaking it off with Relena just because my libido had taken a radical turn towards someone of my own gender. Could I?
I tried to hang onto my anger over her flirting and infidelity--but her choked sobbing was killing me.
"Just--calm down," I suggested. "We're not 'breaking up.' But we can't go on like we have," I cautioned. "I think we both need to think about what we want from each other, and whether we can make things work. We both need to--change--to compromise."
"I don't want you to change!" she asserted. "I love you the way you are."
"I--I love you, too, Relena." Why was that suddenly so hard to say? "But this isn't the first time this has happened to us. Don't you think that means something needs fixing?"
"I guess," came the tentative reply.
She sounded suspiciously composed again--like she'd either gotten the tears under control, or contrived them in the first place. But I didn't think the outburst had been calculated. She really was hurt that I had reservations about our engagement. And she'd be even more hurt if she knew that some of them stemmed from my sudden ambivalence about my sexual orientation.
And then there was Duo--and the almost irresistible attraction I had to him. Was it fair for me to let him know of my interest? I had a feeling I already knew the answer to that one. I just didn't like it.
"I'm going to head home," I told Relena. "Wufei and I have to go back to Singapore for the next few days; so I probably won't see you until I get back. But I want you to talk to a counselor and get your priorities figured out. And I plan to do the same. Then maybe we can get together and talk things out."
"Okay," she conceded.
"Good night," I said firmly, hanging up the phone before she dragged the horrible conversation out any longer.
Wufei took the handset from me and walked inside to put it back on the hook. When he came back out, his expression was unreadable. "What are you going to do?" he asked quietly, his tone indicating he'd keep pushing the issue until I made some sort of decision.
"I'm going to follow my own advice, and get my priorities figured out."
"That sounds--sensible," he said carefully, picking up his beer and finishing it in a couple of gulps. "What about counseling?"
I gave him a teasing glance. "That's what I have you for, Wufei. You help me sort out my messes without the need for expensive therapy."
"You mean I should be charging you for these little chats?" he demanded in feigned dismay.
"Well, if it's compensation you want, I can at least buy you dinner the next time we go out after sparring."
His sharp, dark eyes narrowed. "Would you care to watch your wording, Yuy? 'Going out' sounds like we're dating, and in light of our recent conversations, I'd prefer not to have any ambiguity on the subject."
I gave him my best scathing glare. "Don't flatter yourself, Chang. I am not, and never have been, attracted to you sexually."
"Just Duo," he clarified.
"Just Duo," I sighed, rubbing at my aching forehead.
~*~
Yeah...that night's dream was particularly...intense, and I woke up gasping "just you, Duo...just you," and wanting to bury my face in my pillow and sob in frustration. Why the hell was I so attracted to him?
I kept asking myself that question as I brushed my teeth and packed my bag in preparation for the upcoming business trip to Singapore, wishing I could just will the tension away and go back to a point in time when everything seemed simple and clear-cut.
But when the phone rang, I nearly jumped out of my skin. And when I looked at the caller i.d. I almost groaned aloud. I'd forgotten Duo said he'd call me in the morning.
"Yuy here."
"G'morning," came the rather husky-sounding voice. Then there was a yawn. "'S Duo."
"Yeah, I know." My voice sounded almost faint, as I registered the barely-awake sound of his. "Isn't this kind of early for you?"
He gave a throaty chuckle that made my knees weak. "Matter of fact, it is." Another yawn. "Actually, I'm still in bed."
Oh fuck! A mental image of him tangled in sheets with sleep-hazed eyes made me swallow a groan that tried to escape my throat as I felt an awakening erection. Did he do that on purpose? Did he not know the innuendo that could be drawn from such a statement?
"Alone," he added almost accusingly.
The fucking tease!
"Um, your point?" I asked breathlessly, putting a hand to my crotch as if that would stop the reaction I was having to his throaty morning voice.
"You want to tell me what that phone call last night was really about?" he asked rather astutely for someone who was half-asleep.
"I told you."
"You were trying to save me from Milliardo."
"We had this discussion already," I replied.
"I suppose we did," he admitted. "And honestly, I guess I should thank you. Sleeping with Mill would have been a mistake."
"Damn straight."
He laughed quietly. "You're somethin' else, Yuy." There was a momentary pause. "It's hard to figure you out."
"What's to figure out?" I asked, gradually regaining control of my wayward body parts. "I give a shit. Is that so bad?"
"No, it's--nice," he said, sounding faintly puzzled.
"Good," I replied curtly, glancing at the clock. "Look, I have to leave for a business trip in a little while."
"Yeah. And I have appointments later I should get ready for," he agreed. "But I said I'd call you this morning. And I keep my promises."
"I appreciate that."
"Besides, you said we needed to talk--in person. And since you aren't going to be at the next planning session, I thought I should find out when."
"When I get back," I told him. "I'll call you as soon as my flight gets in."
"Okay."
"Could we maybe have dinner again? Like last time?"
"Except it's my turn to buy," he reminded me.
"Fine. Sure. Whatever." I was torn between wanting to dance a little jig at the thought of another evening on the beach with Duo, and feeling stark terror at the thought that I was going to try to express my feelings to him. Luckily, I had a week to prepare. "I should go," I told him, realizing I was on the verge of running late.
He yawned loudly. "Me too...need a nice, hot shower..."
Fuck him! Now I was going to need extra time to take care of a reemerging problem before I left for work. As I put my hand back to my crotch again, a groan slipped out before I could stop it.
His laugh sounded downright wicked. "Heero--? Y'okay?"
"Fine," I rasped out weakly. "Gotta go. Talk t'you next week."
"Sure--bye."
I slammed the phone down and headed for the bathroom.
Shit, damn, and motherfuck!
TBC...
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