Author's Note: Okay, in honor of Dyna Dee's birthday TODAY, I'm posting an extra chapter. Yes, I know, truly lame. But in my defense, I was too sick last week to write a birthday dedication, so all I can do is offer up a chapter of "Smoky," and hope that since it's the long-awaited Duo/Heero meeting (sort of), it'll be enough of a treat until I get a package sent off to her. So, Happy Birthday Dyna!
"Ebenezer was most upset with my refusal to join the Town Council. I tried to appease him by pointing out that my time and energy are better spent with Eliza and our son Jacob, working to make our farm a success. But I'm afraid I might have lost a good friend. Perhaps he didn't know me as well as I thought..."--excerpt from the private journal of Ephraim Barton
Smoky Hills Part 6
Complaints
"I'd like to file a complaint."
Quatre was up at the counter, and Duo was busy sorting letters, the morning after the incident by the Barton mailbox. But at the sound of the unfamiliar voice, deep and husky, Duo had to steal a peek.
There was a guy across from Quatre who was just too beautiful for words. His hair was a bit unruly, with a just-out-of-bed tousled look, and he had the deepest blue eyes Duo had ever seen. Finely chiseled features and a slim build just made him look all the more, well, fuckable, and Duo cast about for something to hand back to Quatre so he'd have an excuse to go closer.
"What's the problem?" Quatre asked.
"Your letter carrier threw my mail into the bushes yesterday," came the curt response. "It was bad enough he didn't deliver until well after the normal time--but then I found half my mail on the ground!"
Duo poked his head out from behind the case, frowning.
"What's your address?" Quatre inquired politely.
"121 Shady Lane."
"The Barton place?" Quatre asked in surprise.
"Yes, the old farmhouse," replied the man.
"And you are--?"
"Heero Yuy. My colleague and I moved in just a couple of weeks ago."
Duo had heard enough at that point, and couldn't help but walk up to protest. "I didn't throw your mail into the bushes," he said hotly. "I dropped some when--" Oops--shouldn't talk about the strange screams and let the hot guy think he was a nut. "--I got startled. I picked them up and put them into the box afterwards."
Heero held out several rather ratty-looking envelopes. "You missed some. I had documents that got damaged by your carelessness."
"I wasn't careless," Duo snarled back, deciding that good looks notwithstanding, the guy was a jerk. "They slipped."
"Perhaps if you didn't deliver in the dark--"
"Perhaps if I didn't have to go ten miles out of my way, it wouldn't be dark when I got there!"
The man turned a flat, cold gaze to Quatre. "Are you the postmaster here?"
"Um, yes."
"What are you going to do about my complaint?"
"Ah--" Quatre looked a little panicky, sliding Duo a sidelong glance. "I'll certainly advise Mister Maxwell to be more careful with your mail, sir. And as for the lateness, he was delayed by a flat tire. That rarely happens, and I'm sure it won't be a problem again in the near future."
"Quat--!" Duo protested "What about making him get a p.o. box? Then he wouldn't have to worry about my flat tire or his stupid mail getting accidentally dropped."
"I don't wish to come here every day to get my mail," the man said icily. "I believe universal delivery is mandated by Congress, is it not?"
"Of course," Quatre said smoothly, regaining his poise quickly. "It's just been awhile since Duo's route went all the way out to that part of town. He's had to get used to the extra travel time." He gave Duo a firm shove back towards his case, with a warning look to accompany it.
Duo gave ground reluctantly, glaring over his shoulder as he left.
"I can assure you, Mister Yuy, you'll have no further problems," Quatre told him, turning on the customer service charm full blast. "Duo will be extra careful with your mail. You have my word on that."
"I hope so," came a chill response. "I'd hate to have to take my complaint any higher."
Oh fuck him! Duo turned to go back to the counter, but Quatre made a surreptitious gesture for him to stay put, and so he grudgingly did.
Of course, the instant the dark-haired man walked out the door, the braided mail carrier was back up at Quatre's side. "The guy's a flaming asshole!" he told his boss angrily. "I can't help that I got startled and dropped the mail. I thought I got 'em all picked up!"
"Apparently not," Quatre replied. "Don't sweat it, Duo. I know you wouldn't deliberately damage anyone's mail." He put a soothing hand on his employee's shoulder. "Hell, you deliver to most of those 'bigots and bullies' you despise so much. And even they can't find anything to complain about with the mail service."
"Yeah, well, at least Otto and Trant get their mail out of the bigger office down by the railroad tracks--or I don't think you'd still be able to say that," Duo admitted. As dedicated as he was to his job, he didn't think having to deliver mail to his arch-enemies was something he could be professional about.
Quatre smiled back at him. "You're a good mailman, Duo. I'm sure you'd do your job no matter what."
Duo's eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips. "I s'pose. But it's damned tempting to toss Mister 'I've got a complaint' Yuy's next grocery flyer right into the reservoir on my way past." A smirk found its way past his pissed-off look. "Guy's probably a fuckin' coupon-clipper--wanna bet?"
Quatre chuckled, relieved that Duo was taking the complaint with a bit of humor. "I never take a losing bet. You know that."
"Yeah," Duo acknowledged a bit ruefully.
"You're just sore because a cute guy took such a negative attitude with you," Quatre pointed out.
"Cute? Yeah. Like a pitbull's cute."
"They are when they're puppies," Quatre said a bit dreamily.
Duo rolled his eyes and cracked a genuine smile, unable to maintain his grumbling in the face of his boss' teasing. "But Quat--you're even cuter than a puppy. Don't ever change."
"I don't plan to," came the innocent reply.
"I didn't mean to drop his mail," Duo spoke up again, unable to leave the subject just yet. "Seriously."
"I know, Duo."
"If he hadn't been on such a high horse, I'd have apologized for it," Duo added.
"I'm sure you would have." Quatre turned as another customer walked in, making the little bell over the door chime merrily. "Let it go, Duo--and get back to casing so you can finish before dark tonight, hm?"
"Right-o, boss," came the snide response, as Duo sauntered back to resume his sorting.
He was doing what he did best--avoiding thinking about how humiliated he felt, having been chastised for what had been an embarrassing slip-up in the first place. But that didn't push it completely from his mind.
Instead, he found himself muttering under his breath about the "blue-eyed asshole", as he sorted his mail into delivery sequence.
And why did those stupid eyes stand out in his mind, anyway? They'd been filled with nothing but contempt.
Hilde had raved about them too, hadn't she? Great eyes.
Even Duo had to agree with her assessment. But he hated every minute of it.
Fortunately, his day didn't get any worse. In fact, he was pleasantly surprised when he found that he had a package for Mrs. Heinz requiring a signature. And that meant cookies.
He hadn't been kidding when he'd said her sugar cookies were the best, and every time he brought something to her door, she had a plate on hand and insisted on sending some home with him.
She was a sweet old lady, even if she did totally overlook his sexual orientation and urge him to call her granddaughter for a date. That kind of blind bias he could overlook. At least she wasn't calling him a faggot or queer, like certain others in the town.
"Hey, Quatre--guess who's got a 'cookie call' today?" Duo piped up, holding the package over his head victoriously.
"Accepting bribes again?" teased his boss, glad to see a smile on his friend's face. "Make sure it's enough for both of us."
"I always share the spoils," Duo reminded him. "Remember Christmas?"
"How could I forget?"
They'd been inundated with homemade cookies and pies, as well as chocolates, candy, and the occasional bottle of wine. The residents of Smoky Hills were very generous to their dedicated postal workers. And Christmas seemed to be the time their good will reached a peak.
"So--since I'll be providing dessert tonight, are you makin' dinner?"
"Gladly."
Duo finished his mail prep with a smile, humming contentedly as he trayed the letters and hauled them out to his Jeep. Despite the cranky Japanese customer's visit, the day was turning out just fine.
He still felt that way a couple of hours later as he pulled up at the foot of Mrs. Heinz's driveway, and parked his vehicle.
Retrieving the parcel from the back seat, he grabbed her handful of mail as well, and a few biscuits for her hoard of ravenous dogs.
That was the one obstacle to reaching the kindly old lady--he had to negotiate his way through her beloved dachshunds.
He walked up the sidewalk to her door, gave a quick, firm knock, and was immediately assaulted by the sound of numerous little barking voices.
Before she'd even opened the inner door, Duo was down on one knee, dog biscuits in hand, prepared for the flurry of activity. And sure enough, when she arrived and pushed the screen open, half a dozen wriggling, yapping dogs bounded out and pranced around Duo, collecting ear scratches and delivering doggy kisses to the face he leaned down close to them.
He'd learned early on that there was no point in trying to evade them--they only seemed more determined to lavish affection on a reluctant victim.
"Easy, ya little fiends," he chuckled, trying to let them get their excitement out of the way so he could calm them down and hand the woman her package. "C'mon--setzen!" he ordered, just the way the little German woman had taught him.
Instantly, six wiggly butts hit the boards of the porch, and all the dogs looked up eagerly, squirming in place, until he carefully set a biscuit in each set of jaws.
Then he stood up, and the dogs busily crunched their treats, while he collected Mrs. Heinz's signature on his receipt, and gave her the parcel.
"Thank you, Duo," she said warmly, stuffing a baggie full of cookies into his hand along with the pen and paper. "You are always so good with the 'children'."
He gave a shrug, eyeing the homemade cookies appreciatively. "They're too cute to resist," he assured her.
"That's not what that nasty Mister Roberts says," she told him, as if imparting a great secret, and a huge injustice. "He tried to claim my little Ivan dug a hole under the fence and ruined his prize begonias!"
"The cad," Duo said with a sympathetic shake of his head, having had to listen to the neighbor's side of the story just a couple of weeks earlier. "I'm sure if one of the 'children' did something like that, you'd replace any plants he lost. After all, they're just flowers--"
She looked a bit troubled. "Well, they are his most cherished possessions. You know what an avid gardener that man is."
"Absolutely!" Judging by the pensive look on the woman's face, Duo knew she'd be calling up Mister Roberts and offering to help replace his begonias within the hour. She really was a sweetheart, and didn't deserve to fret over such a small incident.
He leaned closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially. "I once walked across his newly-seeded lawn by accident."
"You didn't!"
He nodded solemnly. "When he noticed the footprints, I blamed the UPS man."
The elderly woman laughed almost as hard as Duo did, her grey eyes twinkling with humor. "You are a darling, Duo--so nice to an old woman and her pack of dogs--"
"Old? You've got a long way to go for that," he teased. "And as for your dogs--" He paused to stroke the head of the eldest dachshund, who'd jumped up and braced herself against his knee. "I love the little scamps, truly. Besides," he added wistfully. "Theirs are the only kisses I'm gettin' these days."
She shook her head. "I've offered to fix you up with my granddaughter over in Lakeville. Nice young fella like you should have a girl to settle down with, instead of charming old women and their dogs."
His smile was a bit forced. "Not in the cards, I'm afraid," he told her. "Maybe when I grow up." He gave a teasing wink. "Besides, they don't make 'em like you any more."
He left her blushing and smiling behind him as he made his way back to the Jeep, a little bit sorry to resume driving his solitary route after basking in the warm welcome she always gave.
He settled for savoring the taste of one of the homemade cookies while he worked, reflecting that customers like Mrs. Heinz made his job well worth the small aggravations.
Of course, thinking of aggravations brought his mind back to the matter of Heero Yuy and his surly complaint. The guy did have a point, Duo was forced to concede. He really had dropped the mail in the bushes. And if he hadn't been in such a panic, he might have taken the time to recover it all.
But the guy didn't have to make a federal case out of it.
Duo brooded over that the whole way out to the remote location, torn between remorse for having messed up some letters, and anger that the man hadn't even given him a chance to explain. He even considered writing a brief apology--something along the lines of "sorry I dropped your mail--it really was an accident--and you didn't have to be such an asshole about it--"
Or maybe not.
By the time he got to the Barton mailbox, he'd pretty much decided to just forget the whole incident. He'd screwed up, yes. But Yuy had been arrogant and snotty. So they were both bad, right? The score was even.
With that thought in mind, Duo took the handful of mail, and lined every letter up perfectly, largest to smallest, before placing it carefully into the box. Yuy wanted to bitch, eh? Well, he'd get no more ammunition from his letter carrier--that was for damned sure.
Duo looked at the mail, neatly arranged in the receptacle, and resisted an urge to place one of Mrs. Heinz's cookies on top. There was no way he'd share such bounty with Yuy, even if he did feel badly about the ruined letters.
At the last second though, he grabbed a page off his small note pad--the one with the post office logo prominently displayed--and wrote "sorry about your damaged mail," tossing it into the box and shutting it before he could change his mind.
There. That was all the apology Yuy deserved. Yes, Duo was sorry some letters got damaged--but he was damn sure not gonna grovel about it. A simple note should be more than enough. And if it wasn't, well, there was no reaching the new customer anyway.
Feeling like he'd at least done his part to smooth things over, Duo headed back towards the office, looking forward to ending his day on time, and enjoying a nice dinner and even better dessert.
TBC...
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