Author's Note: This fits with chapters fifty four and fifty five of Witness.
Diary of a Protected Witness Part 45
Duo Looks Like a Lady
By the time Catherine finished dressing me and dolling me up, my hair was pulled back and hanging in ringlets around my shoulders, my face was dusted with rouge, and my eyes and lips were highlighted with shadow and lipstick. I almost didn't recognize myself in the mirror.
"Duo," she said in a near-whisper, her eyes wide as she looked at the finished product. "You look--gorgeous."
I glared at my reflection--but--she had a point. I did look pretty hot--like a fuckin' girl--but a really hot one.
"You look nice," she added, smiling helpfully.
Yeah, and I'll bet Doctor Frankenstein looked at his creation pretty much the same way!
"You'll pay for this," I warned her, stepping over to the door, and yanking it open in time to hear Heero saying something about what had happened to my sketch book.
"I gave it to Tro' to hang onto when he came to the farmhouse," I told him.
He and his partner looked up--and promptly dropped their jaws on the floor.
"Holy fucking shit!" Chang blurted.
I gotta say, I don't think that man had ever looked at me so intensely--Wufei, that is. Heero always looked at me that way--lucky me.
"You fucking shaved your legs!" Chang yelped.
I looked down self-consciously, only to hear my lover give a wolf-whistle that made me look up in time to see his admiring head to toe glance.
"You don't even like women, Yuy," I reminded him. "So stop pretending this turns you on."
"It turns me on," Wufei teased, just about making me fall over in shock.
Jesus--we'd seriously overdone it if even the ice cop himself was attracted to me!
"You're hot, Maxwell!"
"Fuck you, Chang," I retorted, squirming in discomfort. I wasn't sure if it was the clothes, or the way they made a straight guy look at me--but I seriously wanted to get the fuck out of them.
And those damned pantyhose were riding up into my crotch already. It promised to be a long, long day.
We got under way pretty quickly after that, driving into the city while my two cops discussed security and Cathy fretted over whether she'd made me too good looking.
Honest to God--she was worried that I'd stand out too much--after she was the one who made me go the extra mile and shave my damned legs!
Anyhow, we made our way to the courthouse, and the vastness of the crowd there just about made me want to take off running again. Seriously! There was a solid mass of people outside the building, waiting to get inside, while cops stood in riot gear keeping order amid the chaos.
The whole street was cordoned off, with SWAT and Bomb Squad vehicles blocking both ends, and every parking place for blocks around seemed to be taken. Plus, there were guys up on the roof with long range rifles. I might've felt better about it if I thought they were on our side--but if they were FBI, there was little chance of that.
Y'know those shooting galleries with ducks in a row? I felt kinda like one of those ducks, and I just hoped that I'd blend in well enough that I wouldn't get picked off if someone decided to start shooting.
Both Yuy and Chang reassured me, and themselves, that anyone looking for me would be so fixated on a braided man that they'd miss the curly-haired chick I'd transformed into.
Heero leaned over the seat to give me a quick kiss, careful not to smudge my lipstick. "Go knock 'em dead, lover."
"Like that'll get me inside the courthouse," I joked weakly.
I put on a brave front, but I was scared kinda shitless as Cathy and I got out of that car a block from the courthouse and started walking down the sidewalk.
She tucked one arm around mine. "Slow down, Duo," she chided me. "Girls don't stride--they mince."
"Mince?" I asked, glancing aside at her in disbelief. "Like mincing onions?"
"Take smaller steps," she clarified.
"Ah. No strutting?" I guessed, shortening my stride and wiggling my hips a little.
"Oh, actually a little sway of the hips is good," Cathy grinned. "Makes you look alluringly feminine."
"I'll remember that if I'm ever on stage stripping again," I muttered. I'd been terribly proud of my "stage strut," having seen its effect on numerous horny guys. But somehow it didn't feel the same when it was described as "feminine."
We'd reached the end of the line then, and settled back to wait and work our way inside.
"Don't talk much," Catherine reminded me. "Voice high and light, if you do."
"Yes, Cath," I said in a blatant falsetto.
"Overdone," she scolded.
"How's this?" I asked, going for husky and soft instead of high and tittering.
"Better. And avoid eye contact. Most women don't stare right at you. I think you should go for shy and demure, rather than brassy."
"But I am brassy," I hissed in an undertone, keeping an eye on folks around us to be sure no one was hearing any of this.
"As a guy you are," she agreed. "But you look like a schoolmarm--a really pretty, charming one. So play the part."
I wasn't sure if I was flattered or annoyed. Why couldn't she have made me a sexpot of a gal? I mean, it was more true to my nature. God knew I was sex on legs at The Jungle--back in the day.
"If I dressed as a guy," Cathy told me. "I wouldn't try to act like myself. I'd go for something a little tougher and more solid. So you shouldn't try to be the same as your normal self, either. It's a disguise, remember. Go with the outfit and the look--and you look like a nice girl. Be the way you are with Heero--softer and gentler."
"I am?"
She smiled up at me. "You are so sweet together it's almost sickening."
I bumped her with my shoulder, smiling back. "Jesus, ya got me making 'girl talk' now, doncha? Next we'll be doing each other's nails."
She giggled and we both relaxed a bit, trying not to let the tension of the situation sink in.
But by the time we'd reached the doors of the building and were stepping into the foyer, I could feel my muscles beginning to tighten with unease. The first guard we encountered gave us a disinterested once-over and gestured us through to the main entrance.
Here there were several lines, splitting up to go to individual check-ins. I meant to stay beside Catherine, but the next attendant pointed her towards the first line, and put out a hand when I moved to follow.
I gave him an irritated look. "We're together."
"That's nice," he said with a shrug. "But you'll go to the next available metal detector. You and your sis can hook up inside."
"Asshole," I mumbled, waiting with my arms crossed, tapping a round-toed shoe impatiently.
Heh. It was kinda fun acting like a pissed-off chick. I even went so far as to inspect my nails and roll my eyes.
"Over there," he finally said, waving me to the line next to Catherine's.
I "minced" over to the designated line, and clutched the purse Cathy'd packed with a comb, elastic, and washcloth closer to my waist.
"Well, hello there," said the guard in that line, looking me up and down slowly. He smiled lasciviously. "Anyone ever tell you you've got beautiful eyes?"
I blinked in disbelief. Was the fucker actually hitting on me? I was tempted to pull up my skirt and show him he was barkin' up the wrong tree.
"Tell me you're single," the idiot continued, crowding into my personal space just a bit more than was polite.
"Ah--not!" I blurted, holding out my purse for him to inspect.
He took it and did a cursory scan of the contents before handing it back. "You'll proceed through that metal detector over there," he told me, pointing to the next checkpoint. "After I frisk you."
I turned a wide-eyed stare on him, and didn't have to fake the higher tone of my voice. "Frisk me?"
He smirked smugly. "Just a formality, ma'am." He did the standard run of hands down my sides and back. "All done."
But as I turned to head for the metal detector, I felt his hand surreptitiously grab my butt on the way past.
I almost spun around and decked the guy--but Catherine was nearly through her line and was starting to look around for me, reminding me there were things more important than the asshole with roaming hands.
So I quickly made my way through the metal detector and waited a moment for her, fuming silently.
"What's the matter?" she asked, as she found me and took my arm.
I just shook my head, scanning the crowd for Heero and Wufei, and when I saw them I stomped over and glared. "What is it with you cops?"
When they asked what the problem was, and I told them about Mister Frisky-Hands, I thought Heero was gonna go rip the guy's head off. He gave the security lines a look that could've stripped flesh from bone.
My hero, Heero. Heh, heh.
At any rate, I got him to drop the subject--I was more interested in getting out of those pantyhose before they permanently castrated me. Hey, I was kinda fond of my "guys" if ya know what I mean.
Quatre showed up with my clothes just in time to keep me from doing something stupid, like stripping in that hallway. And after the obligatory teasing, he gave them to me and 'Ro hauled me into the men's room to change.
Heh, I think he was as wound up as I was, since he forgot I was wearin' chick's clothes. We totally scandalized some old bat with a kid, and I was tempted to make kissy-lips at her as she dragged her kid away, giving us a horrified look.
God--I needed to let off some steam in a bad way! I was already feeling the pressure closing in on me, and it was making me want to do stupid, stupid things--like run away, or walk into the courtroom naked--or something.
But 'Ro got me settled down, more or less, and I tore out of those women's clothes in record time. And once I'd washed my face and wet down and braided my hair, I felt a lot more like myself.
So much so, in fact, that while Heero and Wufei were trying to explain to a couple of cops why he'd dragged a woman into a men's room--I slipped out, handed off my discarded clothes to Quatre, and nipped off to take care of some business of my own.
I made my way down to the security line and tapped the shoulder of the sleazebag who'd copped a feel.
He turned and looked blankly at me, obviously not recognizing the "beautiful eyes" he'd raved about when I was wearin' a skirt.
"Hey, dickhead," I muttered. "Keep your fuckin' hands above the waist from now on! You groped my sister, asshole."
Recognition dawned, and before he could say a word, I decked him.
His buddies saw the brief commotion and headed our way, but I slipped between a couple of fat guys and lost myself in the crowd, carefully making my way back up to my escorts.
Heero was not pleased. And frankly, I couldn't blame him; it had been damned selfish of me to take such a silly risk at this late hour. I felt like a heel for causing him more worry.
But when I told him I was so cranked up I'd needed to let off some steam or go nuts, he more or less backed off, and the next thing I knew, he and Chang were walking me down the hall to the courtroom.
The idiot at the door didn't wanna let us in, and I was all for us just hitting the road by that time--but when Heero's boss and some other dude I didn't recognize showed up, my lover pretty much shoved me past the bailiff and into the court.
Everything went real still at our entrance, and I found myself standing in the middle of the aisle, the object of many curious stares, looking up at a stern-faced judge.
"What is the meaning of this? How dare you come bursting into my courtroom? Who are you people?"
I was dimly aware of Khushrenada, off to one side with his lawyers--but I didn't dare look at him. Instead I cleared my throat and spoke up.
"Uhmm--Your Honor? M-my name's Duo Maxwell," I stammered, almost wincing at the ragged sound of my voice. "And I--witnessed Zechs Merquise's murder. I'm here to testify for the prosecution."
I'd fucking made it! I was alive, and in the courtroom, about to testify against the bastard who killed my lover. And short of a meteor falling on the building, nothing but nothing was gonna stop me.
Hot damn! We'd made it!
TBC...
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