Author's Note: This fits with chapter fifty two of Witness.
Diary of a Protected Witness Part 42
Finding Euphoria
The rest of our departure from the amusement park was kind of a blur. I was too caught up in helping 'Ro walk, my attention fixated on his pale, taut features and the spreading bloodstain on his shirt.
And when he collapsed just as we arrived back at the main gate, I about died!
"Hey--don't quit on me now," I begged, trying not to let my voice shake with emotion.
Fuck! I was afraid he was dying in my arms--and when Cathy and I pulled him upright again, I looked at her in stark terror.
She gave me a reassuring smile that didn't reassure me in the least.
The only moment I wasn't fixated on Heero's blood loss and whether it was reaching the point of no return was when one last attacker nearly took out Chang at the car--and Cathy once again saved the day with lightning-fast reflexes. Helluva gal, that one.
She fuckin' nailed the guy in the eye with a throwing knife. I was torn between admiration and nausea. And I vowed to never piss that girl off again!
Then we were outta there...and I was in the back seat of an unmarked FBI vehicle with Heero's head pillowed in my lap as I tried to follow Catherine's instructions to keep gentle, but steady pressure on his wound.
It didn't settle my nerves at all when he drifted into unconsciousness.
"Cath--he passed out!" I blurted, giving her an agonized look as she leaned over the seat to examine him.
"Don't panic," she ordered firmly. "Between the blood loss and exertion, I'm not surprised he's drifted off. He'll be fine, Duo. That's not a lethal amount of blood."
"How do you know?" I snapped back, forgetting that recent vow to not piss her off. "Damn it, Cathy--!"
"Duo, stop!" she retorted, scowling at me. "You're overreaction isn't helping."
"I'm not overreacting! He's bleeding to death and you're acting like it's nothing!"
"He's not bleeding to death. He's suffered a trauma, and he's a bit shocky. Put your jacket over him for warmth, and keep him still. When we get to safety, we can remove the bullet and bind his shoulder."
I glared viciously at her, but she met my gaze steadily--calmly. "Trust me."
I started to shake my head, and then realized I had no choice. It wasn't like I knew more about bullet wounds than she did. For all my street smarts, I'd had little experience with treating injuries.
I mean, I knew how to wrap a slashed arm--I'd been in enough knife fights to learn a bit about cuts and stitches. But the only real firsthand experience I had with bullet wounds was watching Meilan die on a street in Chinatown. It didn't inspire confidence.
Funny, wasn't it? A circus girl knew more about wounds than a seasoned street punk. But the truth was, we'd settled things with fists more often than weapons on the streets. Weapons were harder to come by; you hadda buy or steal them. And if you used them, you didn't really stick around to see the results--if you were lucky.
If you weren't lucky, well, you still weren't able to see the results, if ya know what I mean.
Anyhow, all that aside, the only thing I could seem to focus on was how close Heero might be to death.
We drove all day, though I couldn't have told you where. At some point it started to rain, and the steady drumming on the roof made me doze off, slumped against the door to keep from leaning any weight on 'Ro.
I woke to darkness and shifted around, trying to ease the stiffness of my limbs that'd been still for too long.
"Sleep well?" Chang asked, glancing over the front seat briefly, his attention still focused on driving.
"Shit no," I sighed, lightly running a hand over Heero's forehead and breathing a sigh of relief at the warmth. "What'd I miss?"
"We're heading for a meeting with Barton, who'll bring us a change of vehicles and ditch this one. It's probably got GPS, and we can't chance the Feds tracking us."
"Fuck."
"Catherine called Winner's number while you were asleep and things are well in hand. We're meeting Barton near a railroad yard. He said something about putting this vehicle on a freight train headed west to throw any pursuers off course. Winner will pick him up and keep him safe. There's nothing to worry about."
"Except 'Ro," I reminded him.
"Catherine checked on him as well," Wufei said soothingly. "He was fine--and now that you're awake you can take over. How's he doing?"
"Okay, I think." I ran a hand down to his chest, feeling the reassuringly steady heartbeat. And then all at once I felt a rush of anger at how close I'd come to losing him. "Goddamnit, Chang--this wasn't supposed to happen!"
"I know, Maxwell. But considering the situation, and the opposition we face, it's not exactly surprising."
"I don't want you guys to die for me!" I blurted angrily.
Chang tried to assure me they wouldn't--but I wasn't convinced. I made him at least promise me that if anything went wrong--or even if it went right, and they got me into relocation--he'd look after Heero.
I think I'd suddenly realized how very human Heero was, and how even if we got to the courthouse and I managed to testify, we'd be separated for an indeterminate amount of time. I wanted to be sure someone would be watching out for him, while I wasn't there to do it.
Maybe I was flattering myself, thinking that he needed me--but he'd said as much. And watching his pale features as he slept just brought out every protective instinct I possessed.
So I got his partner to promise to be there for him, if I couldn't. And then he went and promised me the same.
"--we haven't exactly been--pals--you an' me," I reminded him.
"Oh, Maxwell," he chuckled. "Maybe not--but we're getting there."
And how cool was that? I never dreamed I'd be friends with a straight-laced cop like Wufei--or any other cop, for that matter. And there I was in love with one, and bosom buddies with another. Life was pretty weird.
Fortunately, Heero woke up about then, easing a lot of my worries, and we filled him in on the plan, such as it was.
He drifted right back off to sleep, obviously still weak from the blood loss. But I felt much more certain of his recovery.
When we pulled off the highway and made our way to a dark stockyard, I kept my eyes peeled for danger. But our rendezvous with Trowa went off without a hitch.
He helped us move Heero into the vehicle he'd brought, complete with blankets and a working heater that was pumping deliciously-warm air into the back seat. He'd even included forceps, needles and a disposable cell phone in the supplies he'd loaded up. I wanted to fucking hug the man, but settled for telling him he was the best, and promising to keep looking out for Catherine as best we could.
I knew he wasn't happy leaving her with us--but we really needed her medical skills, and there was no time to dilly dally at the railroad yard in that GPS-equipped car. We bid him a quick good-bye and once again hit the road.
Heero woke again a little later, and I assured him we were safe and free from pursuit, which seemed to be at the top of the list of his concerns.
Next on his list was getting us to the courthouse.
I finally just told him to stand down and let us handle things until we could patch him up.
Control freak. Seriously. Yuy did not like being helpless.
"My job--" he insisted. "And my love."
Aw--he just made me melt with that last sentence. "Yeah, and you're mine," I told him, dropping a kiss on his forehead. "Promise me forever?"
"Forever," he swore.
Neither one of us could be sure of keeping those promises; but it felt damn good to hear it anyway, even if he passed out again shortly thereafter.
We couldn't arrive at our destination soon enough for me!
Turned out it was a little seaside cottage in a town called Euphoria, that Catherine seemed to have heard of before. I wouldn't have cared if we were driving into Hell; I just wanted Heero in a real bed, with his wound treated and bandaged.
He tried playing the tough guy again when we brought him in from the car, but Chang and I more or less carried him. When we settled him on the plush mattress, his sigh of relief was clearly audible.
Fuck--he was in more pain than he was letting on!
I hovered and fussed while Catherine took care of Heero's wound--putting a towel under his shoulder and holding his hand through it all. And every wince and hiss he made hurt as much as if I'd been the one having a metal probe stuck into my shoulder.
I wished I could've traded places with him. It might've hurt a little less to be on the receiving end than it was to watch the man I loved having a bullet pried out of his flesh.
When it was finally over, and he was bandaged and tucked in, I wiped the sweat off his brow and fussed a bit more, making him eat a whole bowl of soup before I let him doze off for the night.
I was totally beat when I staggered back out to the kitchen, but I started washing out the bowl to keep myself busy. I don't even remember what I was babbling to Chang and Catherine at that point. I think I was going on about what I could make for meals the next day or something; then a hand settled on my shoulder and I about jumped out of my skin.
"Are you okay, Duo?"
"'Course I am, 'Fei. Jus' keepin' busy, y'know. Been cooped up in a car since noon yesterday--got a lot of pent up energy--"
He sighed, his thumb working gently at the tense muscles of my neck. "Let's go for a walk," he suggested.
I turned to gape at him. "It's the middle of the night, Chang. Hell--it's probably practically dawn by now--and you drove all day--"
"Come."
He firmly steered me out of the kitchenette, and Catherine gave a small smile as she headed out to pick up where I'd left off.
"Chang?"
"We won't go far," he promised, ushering me outside.
The brisk, salty breeze was like a slap in the face, clearing my head and causing me to look around and actually take stock of our surroundings. The cottage was on a little bluff, and not too far off, I could hear the soothing, repetitive sound of waves breaking on the shore. It was a singularly beautiful place--though I was really not in the right frame of mind to enjoy it.
"The clerk in the office mentioned a path," Wufei commented, flicking on a flashlight and taking the lead as I automatically followed.
We made our way down a rocky slope, and as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could make out the vast dark bulk of the ocean as a deeper black than the star-studded sky. I sorta wished I had my sketchbook--and maybe enough light to see if there were rocks out there with waves crashing over them, or if it was a wide-open part of the ocean. But my imagination more or less filled in the blanks with whatever I wanted, and I fancied the sky was already beginning to pale, so I might see some gulls on the way back.
"Here," said Wufei, waving the light at a sort of plateau along the cliff, where a large, flat boulder made a rather rough-looking natural bench. "Sit."
I obeyed him, absently rubbing my hands together and remembering how they'd looked with Heero's blood on them.
"Stop," Chang ordered gently, grasping my hands between his, and kneeling in front of me. He'd laid the flashlight aside, but I could see his silhouette against the paling sky behind him, and the sparkle of his eyes, though I had no idea how there was enough light to reflect in them.
"Breathe."
"I'm breathing, man--" I began snidely.
"Slowly!" he snapped out, cutting off my rant. "In for five seconds...hold for five...out for five."
Ah. Like when we meditated back at the lake house.
I followed his orders, restless to get back to the cottage--back to Heero.
"Clear your mind."
"Chang--"
"Clear it!"
I sighed deeply. "How am I supposed to do that with the man I love lying back in that cottage half dead?"
"He's not half dead. He's one hundred percent alive. By morning he'll be well on the mend. But you--! You need to gain control of your emotions. You have been running on adrenaline ever since the amusement park. Even while you slept in the car, you muttered and moaned and were strung so tight it's a wonder you haven't spontaneously combusted."
I chuckled weakly. "That's a graphic and ugly image, Chang."
He gazed back steadily. "I once saw a man throw gasoline on another and set a match to it, Maxwell. Yes, it is ugly. Almost as ugly as the thought that you might drive yourself so crazy with worry that you do something stupid, like try to turn yourself over to Khushrenada."
"I won't," I said with a scowl. I mean, sure, the notion had crossed my mind a time or two--like when there were bullets flying and I knew with certainty that I'd rather take one myself than see either of my protectors die in my defense.
"You say that now," he continued quietly. "But I saw the desperation on your face, and heard it in your voice. And when you slept, you talked."
"You can't count half-awake rambling as gospel truth."
"True. But let me pose a hypothetical question; if Treize Khushrenada was down in that town..." Here he pointed to some lights further down the coast--a little seaside town. "Would you consider turning yourself over to him so that the chase would end and Heero, Catherine and I would be forgotten--left to heal up and make our way home?"
"Uhm..."
"The correct answer is 'No, Detective Chang. I would never dream of doing that. Because even if it would save Heero's life, it would leave him bereft and broken forever, because he needs me, and would rather die at my side than live without me.'"
I couldn't help it--I burst out laughing at the exaggerated example. "Jesus, Chang--I'm not gonna run throw myself on Khushrenada's mercy, for crissakes. Heero'd kick my ass anyway!"
The flash of white teeth made me realize he was grinning too. "I'm glad you realize that," he told me. "Now realize that Heero would be equally distraught at the thought of you running yourself ragged with worry and obsessing over him. He will be fine."
I nodded.
"So--close your eyes and listen to the sound of the wind over the grasses and let yourself feel the peace and beauty of this place. Listen to the gulls as they greet the dawn. Let your tension drain out of you, and concentrate on breathing slowly and deeply. Grant yourself rest."
It would've been impossible to refuse him--so I gave myself over to the soft whisper of the wind, and the rhythm of the waves, and the soothing timbre of his voice--and the tension did, indeed, drain out of me.
In fact, it drained so completely that Chang apparently carried me back up the hill and tucked me in beside Heero; at least, I have to assume that's what happened, since the next thing I was aware of was snuggling against my lover and drifting off to the steady sound of his heartbeat.
TBC...
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