Author's Note: This fits with chapters nineteen and twenty of Witness.
Diary of a Protected Witness Part 14
Life and Death
Y'know, Diary, there's just nothing like falling into a deep, sated slumber after really earth-shattering sex. It's gotta be the most restful and satisfying kind of sleep there is--unless, of course, assassins come along to screw with it!
Seriously.
I came awake to a whisper of sound, looking up to see Yuy's intense eyes wide with alarm as my switchblade rested against his throat.
He was cool about it--pushed it away with a sort of knowing smirk. "We've been made. Get dressed."
"Fuck."
My stomach plunged to my feet, and I went on autopilot--sliding out of bed and dragging on the outfit I'd thrown so carelessly over a chair.
"Goddamnit, goddamnit... Just like the fuckin' penthouse--"
The rest of that night was a series of scattered, terrifying images--dodging bullets--grabbing a gun to help cover Yuy as he took out our enemies--careening through the forest in a battered SUV--lying face down on the floor of that same SUV with Yuy shielding me with his own body.
Why the fuck did he have to do that? I felt even worse about having snuck out. These guys were trying to keep me alive, and I'd acted like a spoiled brat just to indulge in some self-pity and sex.
Fuckin' incredible sex.
But to get back to the point--as I stood staring at a line of bullet holes in the side of the defunct SUV, it finally came home to me that dodging Khushrenada wasn't just a game of hide and seek. He was dead serious--deadly serious.
"Don't tell me it's the first time anyone's tried to kill you."
"No--just the closest anyone's come."
It wasn't like my life had never been in jeopardy before. I mean, fuck. I grew up on the streets. There were any number of people who'd knife you for the change in your pocket out there. And others who'd do it because of your gang affiliation or the coat you wore.
But those were hazards you could learn to watch for, to avoid, or to take action against. This--what Khushrenada was doing--was on a far grander scale. He was willing to kill me and anyone close to me to ensure my silence.
This was personal.
I'd only met Treize a handful of times, and generally when I was with Zechs. I mean, there was that one time he'd sent flowers to my dressing room at The Jungle, with a note complimenting my performance.
But Zechs had gone pretty ballistic over that, and told me he'd put a stop to it. And apparently he had, since it didn't happen again.
He was a wonderfully jealous lover.
Anyhow, it made the attack that much more horrifying--that Khushrenada knew me and was willing to have me killed without even trying to talk to me and find out what I knew. Of course, if he'd killed Zechs for supposedly talking to the cops, my running off with them had certainly made me equally guilty in his eyes.
I guessed there'd be no reasoning with him now--as if there ever was.
I shouldered a backpack and picked up as much gear as I could carry, more concerned with pulling my weight than sniping with my captors any more. They'd proven they were in this with me to the end, and the least I could do was cooperate.
It still bugged me that Yuy had been injured on my behalf. I'd been nothing but trouble for him, and still he threw himself between me and danger.
Was it still just about the case--the mission? Or could it be that he'd felt something on that safe house floor, just as I did.
And no, I'm not talking about feeling his dick up my ass, so just pull your mind right out of the gutter.
I felt--more. I felt--things I didn't quite understand, and couldn't possibly explain. And honestly, they were things I didn't think I wanted to feel.
It was supposed to have been for fun--just to fuck over a cop--to fuck a cop and then shrug it off and show him how little he really meant to me.
But, it wasn't quite that simple. I had the feeling Heero Yuy didn't give in to his baser urges very often. So the fact that he had--that he'd felt so much attraction that he'd thrown out his iron discipline and indulged in a round of wild sex--seemed to indicate--something.
God, I was gettin' a headache just trying to puzzle out whether it'd been meaningless to him or not.
And he wasn't providing any clues. He was stone-faced and stoic again--all business.
I didn't have the heart to fight him any more, so I backed off and just tried to keep up.
It was harder than it looked--hiking the wilderness. I mean, you see commercials where people are all dolled up in thick-soled boots and clothes that look like they were made for a safari, hiking happily along while chit-chatting and sipping bottled water.
In reality, the ground was steep and uneven, and rocks insisted on rolling just as I put my weight on them, and little tiny black flies buzzed in my face every chance they got.
It sucked. Fucking, goddamned wilderness.
But even when I took a header down a steep slope, I just got up and brushed myself off and muttered the vilest curses I could think of, and kept on walking.
When we stopped at nightfall, I even tried helping Yuy clean and re-bandage his wounded leg--but he caught my wrist in a grip so tight I thought he'd broken something. And he told me to keep my hands off him in no uncertain terms.
Guess that answered my questions about the sex. Apparently that's all it was to him, and he was going to make damned sure he didn't touch Zechs Merquise's "leftovers" again.
Sitting there in the pitch blackness of nighttime in the forest, curled up in a blanket, I felt more lost and alone than I had in my entire life. There was nothing left behind me, except the ruins of my life--and nothing ahead of me except trying to stay alive to testify for people who didn't give a shit about me.
And the "right here and now" pretty much sucked too.
OWARI
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