Author's Note: Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but you'll understand when you get to the end.
Touched and Bound Part 9
We arrived back at Duo's apartment a couple hours later.
After the duel with Dorothy and discovering my strange talents to be quite deadly when threatened, but nearly helpless when just practicing, I'd retreated to just sitting by myself in one of the small offices that was an offshoot of the main entrance way. I spent the remaining time there pondering my own thoughts and listening to Milliardo's actions at the front desk, until the door opened and Duo stood there with Mari.
The trip back to the apartment was spent in relative silence as we all sat in the taxi. I was surprised Mari was coming back with us, but then I had a feeling I knew what was going to happen when we got back. So, wisely, I split off from them as soon as we entered the apartment and went to the couch that had become my bed. They weren't two seconds in the door when my suspicions were confirmed and Mari erupted.
"Just what the hell were you thinking dad?!"
I glanced over my shoulder and watched Duo's steps stumble and he caught the kitchen counter to steady himself and turn to face her. Mari stood there with her hands on her hips and the most disapproving expression in the world, enough to make Duo wince in spite of their age difference. He flashed her a nervous grin and rubbed the back of his braid in embarrassment.
"I guess he told you about-"
"The attack? Yes. And even if he hadn't I saw how pale you were before I left! Are you just plain stupid? What if he hadn't been here.. oh hell! What if he'd touched you during the attack!? Damnit dad, you're being stupid and careless and ... and... and don't act like it didn't happen!"
Her last words hung in the air between both of them as I quietly watched them from the couch. Mari finished yelling at him and just stood there, her expression turning sad. I watched her blink her eyes a few times and then small tears started rolling down her face as she began to tremble. Mari struck me as someone who didn't let herself cry often. But then she'd lost her parents to a murder, I could only imagine what it would be like to now have a father who ignored a part of himself which apparently could get him killed.
Duo stood there for a moment, still seeming to be in shock over her outburst. Then he seemed to notice the tears and crumbled a bit. Closing the distance between them he pulled Mari into his arms and hugged her tightly, gently running his gloved hand through her short hair to try and help calm her down. Both of them had apparently forgotten I was in the room, and I was left alone to witness the silent apology Duo gave her. I could tell he was whispering softly to her, probably trying to comfort her, but I couldn't hear what was being said. And perhaps that was best, because I didn't want to intrude. I just sat there and watched discreetly as Mari finally wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back, speaking softly back to him, finally calming down.
A few more moments passed by before Mari pulled away from him and wiped at her eyes. Without saying another word she just gave him a small nod and crossed the studio apartment, disappearing into her little cornered off section. I heard a few clicks and then a muffled noise that sounded like music on a set of headphones. I turned back to find Duo watching me quietly.
We were both silent as our eyes met and held. He had a solemn look on his face, obviously regretting how he'd dealt with the situation around his attack, but that was all I could tell. I know my face didn't betray much, but really, what was there for my face to betray? I'd just witnessed a scene that wasn't any of my business. Part of me wondered, if Duo had not had a studio apartment where there were no separating walls, would I still have been drawn this deeply into his life?
"I guess I screwed up," he commented softly. Breaking the eye contact between us, he stepped toward me and sat down in the chair next to the couch, reclining with a gloved hand covering his face.
"Far be it for me to judge your parenting skills." I commented softly.
"Yeah, not your area I guess. Not really mine either." He gave a soft sigh and I could see the hints of an ironic smile on his face. "I swear most of the time she's more of a parent to me then I am to her. We act more like siblings or something."
I nodded, having noticed that as well.
"Hey Trowa, were you still... interested in trying?"
I blinked and looked back at him from where I was sitting. "Trying what?" The subject change had caught me off guard and I honestly wasn't sure what he was referring to. I could make a few guesses, but none that really held any ground. So I simply waited for him to answer my question.
Duo didn't move for a moment, then sat up and started fidgeting with his gloves, pulling at them. It was like he was going to pull them off but honestly couldn't decide at the last moment. I started to get an idea of what he was thinking, and exactly how nervous he was about it, because I could honestly see his hands shaking a little.
"When was the last time you used... it on another person?" I asked quietly.
"Mari." He responded, not looking up at me. I watched him twist the worn fabric of the driving gloves, halfway pulling them off and flexing the already broken-in fabric. He concentrated on the gloves as if they were the most interesting thing he'd ever seen, or perhaps the best place to avoid looking up at me. After a few more moments passed he spoke again, still fidgeting nervously.
"I was partners with Dorothy, and we were the ones sent to the murder scene. Quatre sent us there, and we met Chang there... they had already cleaned up most of the mess, so I didn't get to see the actual bodies. I did see some of the mess the killer left behind," he stopped and shuddered a bit at the memory. Something told me, that it wasn't the memory of the scene of the crime he was shuddering at. Duo didn't seem like the type to lose his stomach over a room splattered in blood.
He continued. "Chang informed us that their daughter was missing, that her body hadn't been found in the house. So I went up to her room and just looked around for a bit. I noticed the closet door was locked, which was strange 'cause it locked from the inside. So we got that open, but couldn't find anyone..."
I listened to him verbally walk back through the crime scene. His eyes seemed unfocused and he wasn't fidgeting anymore, and I had no doubt it was because he was in his memory. He didn't need to give me this much detail, but I wasn't about to jolt him out of it. For some reason, I found myself wanting to hear the whole story behind this. I wanted to know why Mari was so close with Duo and why the two of them fit so well together. It was almost like a perfect match because of the way they balanced each other out, that it caught me almost as being too perfect. And I didn't like where my thoughts headed when I considered that possibility. So, instead, I listened to his story. I suppose it was that 'being pulled into his life' thing that this apartment seemed so well set up for, acting up again.
"There was an attic door in the closet, and a small window. But I knew she hadn't gone out the window because there was paint over the seal; it had never been opened." He frowned a bit more, resting his hands in his lap. "I found her in the back corner of the attic. I'd been walking around with my gloves off, and by touching things I knew she was somewhere in the attic. What I didn't expect was for her to jump forward and run into me scared from the corner. I... touched her... and saw it."
He fell silent and I let the silence hang for a moment, wondering if he would continue. When he didn't offer any more explanation I pressed a bit. "What did you see?"
"The murder. Her parents. I saw what she saw when she walked into their room. I saw hi- the one who killed them. I saw all of it, and I couldn't stop it, because I couldn't let go of her. The... images are more vivid with people. I see it like I was there, in flashes that hurt. It's like watching a bad animated film, where each image is burned into your mind before you see the next. I guess... I got some of her emotions at the time too, because by the end we were both crying and Chang and Dorothy had to pull us apart."
I frowned over that a bit. "So... to touch another person affects you that much?"
Duo gave a small nod. "Well, it did with her. I haven't done it since then, so I don't know if it changes from person to person. But it was a couple years ago." He ended with a shrug and glanced back at me, his eyes losing the glazed look. I watched him glance down and finally completely pull the gloves off his hands, setting them on the table. The seams of his driving gloves were impressed into his skin, in strange small lines, circling his fingers. He wrung his hands together a bit, then looked up at me, in expectation of an answer.
"You're still willing to do this? Even when you have no idea what you'll see?"
He nodded.
I pondered for a moment, then stopped myself from thinking too much about this. I didn't want to talk myself out of it. I knew his power could help shed light on to everything, but if I thought about it long enough I'd talk myself out of making him go through that again. I didn't feel guilty at the moment, and I didn't want to feel guilty while he did it. So I nodded back, before I had a chance to second guess myself.
"All right," he said softly, confirming both our agreements.
~*~
Duo sat next to me on the couch, both of us facing each other silently. He hadn't bothered to change out of his work clothes, or change anything, save for the fact that his gloves still remained on the coffee table beside us. I faced him in silence, simply watching his eyes and trying not to react to the look of fear that reflected back at me. I said nothing, allowing him whatever time he needed to gather his courage for this. I just simply sat there and watched as he looked back at me, and the fear in his eyes slowly slid away to reveal a look of determination.
Then he reached his hand forward and I felt his fingers brush against my cheek.
The first thing I noticed was that I felt a warmth flood over my body, from his fingers, and my eyes slid shut. Either that or the room faded out around me; I couldn't quite tell. But either way, my world faded into a warm darkness around me and I began to hear sounds.
Muffled high pitched beeps filled my ears, deafening in their loudness. Each one reverberated through my body, like ripples in the water. Then visions of white flashed before my eyes. White, a bright white that was blinding. I found myself in a room, white in every aspect, with muted colors like I couldn't focus on anything. Shapes moved around me, flashing like a strobe light, moving one second and paused the next, but yet never seeming to stop at all. The beeps around me faded in and out in a Doppler effect, echoing the odd movements of those around me. And suddenly I noticed that nothing was really moving, but rather the same moment in time was being repeated, over and over in quick flashes of blinding sensory.
Two shapes moved and yet didn't move around me. One leaning over the bed, that I was lying on, while the other jerked in the doorway, his face trained on me. I could see the entire room, but only after it flashed in front of me enough time to burn the image into my mind.
White blindness.
High-pitched, beeping deafness.
Detergents and cleaning chemicals hit my nose in full force, nearly knocking me out with their potency in each flash. And my body seemed to scream back at me because it felt as if a load of concrete had been poured over me and movement seemed impossible.
The longer Duo touched me and the longer the scene flashed before my eyes, the more it seemed real. I found the flashes lasting longer, my body growing stiff, and my mind started to panic. I couldn't move. I could barely see. My entire body felt warm, and those two people kept staring at me.
I was becoming a part of the vision!
I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. My body felt like lead and the scents started to over power my senses. Somewhere along the line I had found my own voice, and my mouth was hanging open in a silent scream, with no sound filling the room. My mind panicked and yet no life-saving techniques appeared to save me. All I could do was sit there and stare at the scene around me, my mind flying and falling deeper into paralyzing panic.
I was trapped.
I couldn't get out.
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't move.
I couldn't-
And then it was gone.
Suddenly the terrifying vision was gone, and I was back in Duo's apartment, back on the couch with the soft over head light illuminating the room around us. A thin layer of sweat covered my entire body and I was panting in what was probably the remnants of my fear and panic. My entire body trembled but that wasn't the thing that shocked me the most. Instead it was the fact that Duo was curled up in my lap, huddled against me like some lost and scared child. He was trembling more frantically, his hands clutching at my shirt so tightly I thought it would rip from the strain. I could see tears flowing down his face at a constant pace as he struggled to catch his breath.
And still, over and over, I watched his mouth move, repeating the same words.
"You're blank. You're blank. You're blank..."
Over and over.
I did the only thing I could possibly think of doing. And in reality, I know my arms were already moving before the thought crossed my mind.
I wrapped my arms around him and cradled him close, both of us trembling together as he softly whispered his two word mantra. And yet, in spite of everything, it all felt right. It felt good, safe and just... just right.
TBC...
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