Shinigami - The God of Death Part 6
It seemed to take the guys forever to get home and by the time they did I still hadn't moved. The door opened and, had they been able to see me, they would have found me on the couch, just laying there quietly in my own world. The whole situation about what had happened with Quatre is still fresh in my mind, the guilt is still slowly eating away at me.
As the door opens I glance toward them, through the kitchen, and watch them walk off to do their various things. Solo's eyes flicker to me and a smile lights across his face as he sees the look of utter depression on my face.
"Yeah, you go ahead and laugh it up, asshole." I growl at him darkly. He merely gives a small shrug and makes a show of walking up to my room, then returns a minute later blasting MY music in MY headphones. I sit up and glare at him, even though I know he isn't paying any attention to me anymore.
Taking a deep breath I notice Trowa move around the house in question and finally head up to Quatre's room. Considering how Quatre reacted to being in the same room as me... I decide to let the unibang comfort him, considering there is nothing I can really add to help, other than apologizing a thousand times in a voice I know they can't hear.
Beyond me Heero takes his seat at his laptop and flicks it on, going to whatever program he spends all his time on. Wufei leaves the room and heads for the small office, presumably to look for a book.
So what now? Given the situation with Quatre I'm not very enthusiastic about trying to catch the guys' attention this time. I'm afraid, I'll admit that. I'm afraid that what I did to Quatre... I'm afraid I'll do it to the other guys. The thought of seeing Trowa or Wufei as shaken as Quatre was is definitely not a pleasant one. And what about Heero? What would I do if my touch caused him to act like Quatre? My god, if I caused him to crumble to the floor like a lost child I know I would never forgive myself!
So instead I elect to just sit on the couch and sulk. Yes, that's me. I never sulk, least not in open spaces like this. I'm the one who's supposed to be smiling; I'm the one who's supposed to be the wise ass. I'm the one who's supposed to make all the others laugh, or at least make Heero call me a baka. I'm not supposed to sulk and be all depressed, it is so out of character for me! Duo Maxwell doesn't sulk.
Well, Duo Maxwell doesn't cry either, but right now it seems damn tempting. I can vaguely remember as a child, way far back, in the church-turned-orphanage how some of the kids would cry to get Father Maxwell's or Sister Helen's attention. I never did. But I remember that most of the time, for those kids it worked. It is strange how your mind works when you're in a totally hopeless situation; you get to the point where you're willing to try anything. Oh man... if crying right now would get their attention and make them realize that Solo wasn't me I would happily ball my eyes out until I flooded the house and half the neighborhood.
And if Wufei made a comment about me being weak for it I'd pound him into the ground.
Naw, in actuality I'd probably hug him tightly, cause him to yell at me again, and then actually thank him for yelling at me. Because in order for Wufei to yell at me he'd have to see me, and that would mean that everything would be back to normal.
Normal...
I used to think normal was boring. Well, one thing is for sure, normal will never seem boring again. Well, it won't if it ever becomes normal again. Err... yeah, that is what I mean. If normal ever becomes normal again I'll be the happiest person alive.
My eyes follow Solo as he dances around the room and into the kitchen to raid the fridge. He certainly is enjoying himself. Everyone seems to be going about their own business when Trowa comes back down the stairs. There's a solemn look on his face.
I've mentioned before that Quatre and Trowa seem to have this kind of psychic link, well sometimes it also seems like there is something between Heero and Trowa. Now, mind you, I don't mean anything relationship-wise or sexual but... more subtle then that. Neither of them talk much, so I figure that they have this way of talking without talking, does that make sense?
A perfect example (god I feel like a schoolteacher or something explaining it like this) is this. Trowa comes down the stairs and just stands there, completely silent. A moment later, without any indication that he even noticed Trowa's presence, Heero glances up from his computer and in Trowa's direction. I mean he doesn't even glance around, he just looks right at Trowa, as if he'd known he was there all the time. I can see Heero raise an eyebrow in silent question and that's all they need. When they do that it really creeps me out, since it seems like an entire conversation passes between them in the silence of nothingness. And I hate it when they leave me out of conversations, even if they are silent.
"Quatre wants to talk to all of us, upstairs." Trowa's words are quiet and calm. But behind them I can hear this small amount of... something. Trowa seems shaken, and almost wary of everything around him. Ok, I know he's a trained terrorist and constantly watching everything around him but that's not what I mean. I mean more that it was like he was trying to see something that he normally wouldn't see in a room. That he normally wouldn't be able to see or normally wouldn't notice.
At that thought my heart skips a beat.
Is he trying to see me? Does he know about me?
Quickly I jump up from the couch as Heero stands from his chair and walks toward the stairs and Quatre's room. Trowa moves past him and goes to retrieve Wufei... and Solo. Dammit. I was hoping Solo had left or something. Not that lucky. But still, the whole situation has certainly given me a glimmer of hope. Why would Quatre want to talk to everyone? It has to have something to do with what happened earlier today. It just has to! I bound up the stairs after Heero to Quatre's room, leaving the others to follow Trowa behind us.
I stepped into Quatre's room and am greatly relieved to see my friend in much better condition. He is sitting up in bed and isn't nearly as pale anymore, he even has a small little smile on his face. Yet as soon as I enter the room, right after Heero, I notice another change.
The minute I step into the room Quatre seems to stiffen. His hands wrap tightly around the quilt which covers the bed and his eyes dart in my general direction, but not looking directly at me. So he knows I'm in the room, he can sense me, but he can't see me. Well, there goes that hope. Still, I have to wonder if my momentary jumping into his body has made him more aware of my presence, or if he was just aware of me period because of his space heart or whatever gives him those strange psychic powers he has.
In order to try and calm him I move to the far corner of the room, as far away from him as I can get without leaving the room. His eyes follow me the whole time as I move and when I finally settle in the corner he seems to relax. I guess it was a good feeling for him to know that I'm staying away from him, in the background. Ouch, that hurt.
Contenting myself to lean against the wall I watch the others file slowly into the room. Heero takes a place against the wall near the door, relatively close to Quatre's bed, where he leans against the woodwork. His entire face is blank and he just waits, he doesn't even look curious. Instead, if one didn't know him better, they would assume the blankness on his face meant he wasn't interested in this one bit. However being that I am a fellow gundam pilot and the resident expert on Heero-Yuy-expression translation I know what his expression really means.
That particular state of blankness is akin to Heero Yuy being curious, he just refuses to say or show it. Don't believe me? Well, fine, then don't believe me. But I know my Heero. (And yeah, I know he's not technically my Heero but I'm already depressed as it is, so you just be quiet.)
Trowa, Wufei and Solo enter the room practically at the same time. Trowa takes a seat on the bed next to Quatre, probably to comfort him, while Wufei takes the spot against the wall next to Heero. Solo pulls off my headphones and hit the stop button as he drops into the window seat.
"So what's up?" he asks.
Quatre takes a deep breath and glances at Trowa, in what looks like question or support. Trowa reaches forward and clasps his shoulder with reassurance. "Tell them what you told me," he says quietly.
Quatre nods and takes another breath, then glances at Heero and Wufei. "There's something... in the house."
I immediately see Solo stiffen in his window seat and his grip tightens on the headphones, though not enough to snap them. As for Wufei and Heero, neither of them really responds. Heero remains silent while Wufei raises a single eyebrow in question.
"What kind of thing?" The Chinese pilot asks slowly.
"I'm not sure what to describe it as... but..." Quatre shrugs. "For lack of a better word I'd say a spirit... a ghost."
"Yes!" I cry happily. No one hears me. Damn. Not that I really expected them to, though.
"A spirit?" Heero asks in question. For the look on his face I can tell he's running the idea through his head and weighing the possibility. I have to wonder, what does Heero think of ghosts? It never occurred to me before if he's the science or the supernatural type. I mean does he believe in ghosts and spirits and aliens? Or does he believe in the test tube and beaker?
I can't help but snicker. Nope, Heero believes in dynamite and the big boom. Now that comment would definitely have earned me a patented Heero-Yuy-death-glare.
I miss his glares.
Quatre nods in answer to Heero's question. "That's the best way I can think of to explain it."
"Cool!" Solo sits up in attention and glances around the room. "So Quatre, what does it look like?"
"I don't know. I can't see it, Duo, only sense it."
Solo drops back into the seat and frowns, leanign against the window. "Well, that's no fun. What's the point of a ghost if you can't see it?"
I growl angrily and march across the room, straight for Solo. "You can too see me you jerk! Stop acting!" I take a swing straight at his face but he doesn't respond. Instead I hear a gasp from behind me. Whirling around I glance at Quatre.
He's sitting there in the bed, but he's all stiff again, and he's looking straight at me with these worried and afraid eyes. Wait... is he looking at me or Solo? I can't tell.
"Quatre?" Trowa asks carefully.
"Duo..." Quatre starts slowly but pauses, as if grasping for words. "This is going to sound really strange, but... don't make it mad."
I glance back at Solo to see the surprise play straight on his face, and a grin grows on my own. "He can't see me, Solo, but he can sense my emotions. I'd say that's a pretty cool thing! And almost as good as seeing me!"
Solo didn't respond to me, instead he shrugged at Quatre and stood up from the window seat, walking straight through me and for the door. "Yeah, ok. You're no fun Quatre." And then he leaves the room.
I look around the room and take stock of the others' expressions. Now I know for a fact that what he just did was definitely out of character for Duo Maxwell. I may have pushed off Quatre's comment but I never would have been so mean and uncaring about it. Looking at the others I can tell they noticed this... or rather it seems like they did.
Quatre is just sitting in his bed, looking worriedly after Solo. Trowa... do my eyes deceive me? He's actually glaring slightly after where Solo disappeared. I've never seen Trowa glare before! Wow... dang, he looks even more threatening then Heero. I can't help but shudder a bit at that look.
As for Heero and Wufei? Wufei is watching after where Solo disappeared with confusion and Heero's face is blank. Damn, it's the one blank look on Heero's face that I can't read. What is he thinking? Does he suspect?
Is him suspecting enough to free me? Or does he have to walk up to Solo and punch him, demanding what he did with the real Duo? Heh, now that just sounds silly. And the mental picture of Heero walking up to me and asking what I did with the real me? Except that this time the 'me' he walks up to isn't the real me and... and...
I'm going to stop right there with that thought before I give myself a headache. Still... the idea is a pretty funny one.
"Come on you guys!" I yell loudly. "Figure it out! That imposter is NOT me!"
No one hears me. Arg! Frustrating as hell!
A couple minutes later, they all split off to do their own thing. Within moments of silence I am left alone in the room with Quatre. For a little while he just sits there and looks at the area where I'm standing, near the window. I can't help but smile at him.
"Thanks man, you don't know how happy I am that you noticed me." Closing my eyes I concentrate on sending my sense of pure joy and excitement straight toward him.
He gasps and I open my eyes in worry, afraid that I might have hurt him again. But instead I find he's sitting there smiling, smiling right at me.
"You... you're happy."
My eyes widen. Once again I direct my feelings at him, one short little burst.
His smile widens. "Good, I'm glad."
"Night Quatre," I whisper quietly and head out of the room.
And he's right, I am happy. Because for once in this long week (yeah I know it's only Tuesday night) I am happy. For once in this long week I have hope.
TBC...
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