Woke Up One Morning... Part 3
Since that meeting with 'Fei and Sally in the cafeteria a few days ago, I've been different. Not in an obvious way to most people... but I know that Heero's noticed. What I had hoped to cover by keeping busy only made the issue that much more obvious to him. I was just a little less talkative, the slightest more somber, a bit more involved in my work. Nothing that would really raise any flags to.
Just as I can read him like a book, he can read me even with the most subtle of differences.
It was only a matter of time before he broached the subject. But that will have to come on Heero's time, same as every other aspect of our relationship.
This particular Thursday is a pretty busy one, much to my relief. Perfect timing to help make my usual running and hiding from a problem that much easier. Some old habits never die.
Buried in paperwork and data entry to our eyebrows, Heero and I have been glued to our desks for the better part of the day. Since our arrival this morning, the air's been filled with a constant clicking at our keyboards. And my head has been focused more on my monitor as opposed to checking my partner out from across the room as I normally would. Seeing him in his Preventer's uniform is normally one of my favorite pastimes.
We're quickly nearing the end of the day and along with my current duties running through my head, I'm silently wondering what we should do for dinner tonight when the typing at Heero's half of the room abruptly stops. There is not so much as a glance over at his desk from me as I continue on my data entry, assuming he's either taking a break or finished his projects early.
Then I hear him roll his chair back so he can stand, the slight creak of his leather seat telling me he's now on his feet. Still, I continue to type away without peeking over, even when there is the hint of a sigh in the air.
I still have more time to hide behind my work and that is exactly what I intend to do until it's time to punch out.
Suddenly, a couple of hands grip the back of my chair and pull me back with a startled yelp. My seat is then spun on its base until I am face-to-face with Heero. Damn. Guy's become as good at stealthy sneaks ups as I am. Looks like that's something else he's picked up from me over the years.
Hunched over with a hand on my arm rests, my partner asks calmly, "So, what's been going on with you?" All that I can do for a moment is blink in surprise at him.
Even though I could tell Heero had been picking up that there was an issue with me, I never would have imagined him actually interrupting work to address it. Now, I'm caught completely off-guard, being pulled away from the security behind my work. I'm sure that was part of his reasoning for bringing up the matter this way.
Still, I can't help the little warm feeling in my stomach over knowing that 'Ro's concerned enough about me to put his duty aside for a while.
Patiently, he waits for me to speak as he straightens and sits on the edge of the inside of my desk to stay close. All the while, he keeps our gazes locked to make it perfectly clear he's not about to let me back out of this discussion.
I swallow roughly past the constriction in my throat, silently wishing I could look away from those eyes to hide, even if only to feel less exposed. Finally, I take a deep breath and admitted quietly, "I guess that our 'taking it slow' is moving a little too slow for me."
Heero sits up a bit at that and nods firmly, "I see. This whole 'couple' thing is really new to me, so I really do not have much of an idea to how slowly or quickly things are supposed to progress."
The side of my mouth curls up as I reassure, "You know, I'm not blaming you if you need to take your time. Of the two of us, you're the one who should be dictating how far me move things since you're figuring out a hell of a lot more than I am on where your feelings stand."
"You willingly put your own feelings aside for my sake?" he asks without hiding any of his surprise. Blinking a bit, he comments, "While I appreciate that, it's not exactly fair to you. Marriages involve two people, don't they?"
My jaw falls a bit over my shock at that. Not because I'm surprised Heero took that much consideration into our relationship that he would care about my feelings, but over how stupid I had been to not have taken that simple bit of logic into consideration.
Clearly, we both have a lot of learning to do in making this thing work.
A sad smile curls on my face as I hear myself reply softly, "I'm sorry. You're right, I should have said something sooner, instead of trying to deal with this on my own."
Grinning back, my husband nods in appreciation of that, though there is nothing boastful over his having a better handle on the situation. He rises from his perch and props himself on my arm rests as he leans forward again until our noses are nearly touching. Just like every other time when he's this close, my heart starts hammering in my chest.
Slowly reaching up to brush a hand through my bangs to see my eyes better for a moment before they fall back in place, he tells me quietly, "You know that I'm serious in seeing this marriage through... right?" I swallow again and can only manage to nod in response.
"Then please talk to me whenever something that involves us comes up," Heero requests. "I have no idea how to help the situation if you don't let me know where you stand. Maybe there won't always be an easy fix to the problem, but I'll be willing to try. Please don't run and hide from me."
Breath caught in my throat, I whisper, "I won't." And I mean that with everything in me. "No running and hiding from us," I vow.
The smile on his face growing a bit, 'Ro responds with a sincere, "Thank you." Quickly, he closes the distance to capture my lips with his in a sweet, chaste kiss before he pulls back.
He smirks at my gawk, "From now on, you're as much in charge of where we go from here as I am. If there's ever a time I do not feel comfortable, I can always let you know. Just remember that you do have an advantage on me in that field... knowing how far you're willing go. I have no idea where my boundaries are, so I need you to push me from time to time."
Now that I can definitely deal with and a huge grin breaks out from me. "Deal," I agree. Maybe this marriage thing really won't be that difficult after all.
Our office door swishes open and instantly, Heero steps back, straightens his back and folds his arms before Wufei enters the room. Just in the nick of time for his presence to look like nothing more than a normal business conversation. Because anyone that knows him would be shocked if he would ever stand around on the clock discussing anything but work.
Completely unaware of anything being amiss, Chang nods to us in greeting and announces, "I just received word that Quatre is going to be making a trip to Earth for an important business conference next week. Some new prospects for rebuilding some of the Colonies just came up and he does not want the opportunity to pass him by. Lady Une is already expecting word for requests for leave soon from us for the duration of his stay."
It was one of the terms in our contracts that we all had before agreeing to join the Preventers. Whenever Quatre would be making a public appearance anywhere, we were allowed time away to serve as his protection. Considering his status and influence, he was as much a target of our peace-loving enemies as Relena.
Of course Trowa is always by Quat's side and they are both perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. But they're our brothers and it just sits better with us to know that we're around to see that there's no trouble for them.
Heero speaks up first, "I'll get to work on my notice, then." With that, he turns and heads back for his desk. Even now, I can still feel a ghost of that brief kiss he gave me a moment ago.
Forcing myself to push that thought aside, I meet our friend's gaze and grin, "Thanks for the heads up, 'Fei. We'll get our official notices to Une before the end of the day." He nods and waves once as he heads back out of the office.
As soon as we're alone again, I sigh deeply and sag in my seat. "That was close," I chuckle as Heero snickers in amusement. Stretching, I meet my husband's gaze and comment, "Well, it's my turn to cook tonight. Got anything particular in mind that you want?"
"We could just order out and rent some movies to watch. We haven't done that in a while," he suggests. Smirking, he raises an eyebrow and adds, "That is unless you had your heart set on cooking tonight."
The offer is more than a 'get out of cooking' break for me. He's really making an attempt to have us spend as much time together as we can. And I try to get the appreciation across in my smile at him.
Before a blush can creep up on me, I snort, "Twist my arm. We'll use paper plates so you don't have to worry about the dishes on your night. Fair's fair."
* * * * * *
Heero's smirk grows while he takes his seat again and retorts, "Good. That was the real reason for my suggestion in the first place." Taken by surprise by his very good come back, I laugh along with him and throw a crumpled ball of paper at him.
Chuckling and dodging, he's quick to ball up a few discarded pages from his own desk to lob them at me in retaliation. Our little game continues for a while before we survey the damage of our office and laugh all the more.
Still trying to catch my breath, I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye and shake my head, "Une's... gonna... have a conniption if she sees this." 'Ro's having just as much a time calming his own laughter.
I relax more, content to simply watch him. His hair mussed up even more than usual, uniform a little ruffled and a full smile on his face, I can' help but think of how beautiful he is. Then taking into account how out of character something like this paper fight would have been to him even a few years ago, my chest's swelling in pride over him.
Damn. He really has come a long way.
Finally easing his breath, Heero runs a hand through his hair and helps me pick up the scraps and other harmless 'weapons' that covered the floor. By the time we finish cleaning our mess, it's time to punch out for the night.
When we lock up the office and head down the hall for the elevator, my husband walks up close beside me until our arms are brushing nearly the entire time. It may not be the public display of affection that Wufei and Sal can share, but I gladly accept it for the big attempt to make me happy that it is.
Peering from the corner of my eye, I find that 'Ro is watching me the same way. An appreciative smile breaks out on my face and his shoulders relax in relief over doing the right thing.
Possible confrontation foreboding or not, I know that I won't be an idiot to bottle anything up the way I had again. Not when I have a partner that really is looking out for the both of us by listening.
Whoever said that 'Communication is the key' to a good relationship really knew what the hell they were talking about.
* * * * * *
After picking up a few flicks and having a hearty meal of ordered-in pizza, we're back into more comfortable clothes of shorts and t-shirts to relax for the night.
Pouring a bag of fresh popcorn into a one of our large snack bowls, I think out loud, "I can't believe the damage done by the war that there are so many Colonies still trying to rebuild after all this time. Those projects alone are a full-time job for Quat."
Heero takes up our six-pack of soda and leads the way to the living room where we lower our bearings onto the table before the couch. Taking a deep breath, he states, "Colony L5 needed to be completely recreated, so that alone took up a couple of years. Add several hundred little areas that need assistance, we're a long way off from seeing the revival project finished."
I snort bitterly at that.
Of course, I agree that those areas hit hard by the war deserved attention and aid from the political figures and anyone willing to step in. But it still makes my blood boil a bit that L2 could as bad off as it was before the war and no one really bothered to step in. Now, it's even lower on the list of places that will be helped.
Just when I start to think that no one will understand how I feel, 'Ro faces me as he says quietly, "I know that the situation with L2 is frustrating. It's frustrating to me, too. And you know that both Quatre and Relena are doing what they can to move it up on the priority list with their influence in the political world."
He was right. Having been to many open hearings of the Earth and Colony alliance, Quat and Lena were the constant voices amongst the panel that kept pushing for L2 to be looked into for improvements. But to keep themselves in power, those elected officials were more concerned with what the majority of people wanted.
Blowing a puff of air through my bangs, I lower my head and sigh, "And as far as the voting public is concerned, L2 was managing before the war, it'll manage for a while after it. It's all a political game to get rid of any traces of the fight that the Colonies started."
A hand gently lifts my head from under my chin and I'm staring into a reassuring cobalt sea as my husband tells me with all the certainty in the world, "That won't be the case forever. There is going to be a change and when there is, we'll both be a part of the rebuilding of L2 just as I promised before we signed on as Preventers."
That had been our own personal agreement. When asked by Heero to join the force as his partner, I was hesitant to leave my old Colony. My job at the salvage yard was not exactly making much of a difference there, but I felt like I was doing something.
So, my best friend made a pact with me. A few years of service to help his conscience by serving and protecting, then a very, very early retirement in which we would focus our efforts on helping L2 to take care of my own demons.
In reality, I didn't need that deal to be offered to agree to work with Heero. But I certainly was not going to turn the offer down.
Relieved by the reminder of that promise, one that I know that he'll see through, I finally smile. "Sorry," I manage and the grin falls away while I clear my throat against the lump that's formed there. "It's just... I hate the things that people say about the colony... How nothing good comes from it so why should anyone care... It hurts, you know."
"And it's also untrue," he responds softly, keeping our eyes locked. "You're from there. So, there is good that comes from there."
I gasp sharply as my eyes widen, completely taken back by that comment. For such a simple thing to say, that... touched me more than I think Heero will ever understand. Much to my embarrassment, I can feel tears prickling my eyes as I lunge forward to throw my arms around his neck.
Without hesitating, his arms wrap tightly around me and he just lets me cry silently for a moment to work the tension out. Once I can get a handle on myself, I pull back after I've wiped a few wet trails from my face.
Not wanting to dwell on the awkwardness of having him see me cry, I lightly punch 'Ro in the arm with a smirked, "Thanks." Grinning, he heads to the television and DVD player to set up the first of the three films we picked up while I turn out the lights.
Settled on either side of the couch, we enjoy our soda and popcorn while losing ourselves in the action movie that starts our marathon. By the second movie, a comedy, we've shifted to the middle of the couch unconsciously to somewhat lean against each other and can feel each other shake when we laugh.
Come the last film, it's late in the night and I'm starting to feel my eyes get heavy and my concentration on what's playing is drifting. But I am aware of Heero shifting to lie down so that his head is resting comfortably in my lap while staying turned towards the screen.
Smiling, I reach down to run my fingers through his hair. Quietly sighing, his eyes drift closed as he allows me to massage his head for the remainder of the film. It's just so damned... natural to be like this with him.
Once again, I wonder why the hell we didn't just get married sooner. Although we never would have gone along with it had it not been for the help of a lot of alcohol and easy access to a wedding chapel.
Thank you, Vegas.
When the movie ends and the credits roll, Heero shifts so that he is looking up at me with his head still in my lap. There's a small, serene smile that just makes him look so damned cute in the dim light that I just can't fight my urges anymore.
Slowly, I bend at the waist towards him until our lips are touching. Only instead of settling for another chaste, G-rated exchange, I open my mouth to lick his. A soft, surprised gasp gives me the access I'm looking for and my eyes drift closed as our tongues dance together.
One of his hands buries itself into my hair at the back of my head, keeping me in place as we continue our exploration of each other's mouths. From the top of my head to the bottom of my feet, I feel like I'm on fire. This is exactly the gut-tying, toe-curling kiss I always dreamed of having with Heero for nearly as long as I'm known him.
And not even my best fantasy of what it may be like holds a candle to the actual thing.
I feel like I'm frowning by the time we finally part, only for the need of air, panting along with him. When our eyes open, his are wide as he reaches up to run his fingers over his bottom lip. "Damn," he breaths.
My face only a few inches above his, I chuckle quietly, "Now that's more like what I've been looking for." Anything further that I was about to say is silenced when 'Ro reaches up to pull me back down for another deep kiss.
Clearly, he's seeing the benefits of pushing those boundaries a bit. And I'm going to have a blast testing pushing more with him from here on out.
TBC...
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