A War Worth Fighting Part 21
"Heero?" the Sergeant Major called over the telephone when there was a long silence following his announcement of Treize's approaching arrival. "Are you still there?"
Feeling his friend's eyes on the back of his head from across the room, the First Sergeant swallowed roughly before answering, "Yes, sir. I am still here. I just... was not expecting this news."
A smile could be heard in the old man's voice as he stated, "I understand. You're overwhelmed. You have been hungry to be back in the field and you have been patient while carrying out your mission. No doubt you will be a bit speechless over the notion of finally returning to serve your country the way you were meant to."
It took every ounce of strength that Heero had to force the grin that his superior could pick up. "Of course, sir. I really do not know what to say right now."
Laughing, the old man said, "I knew it. Too happy for words. Well, your patience and obedience have not gone unnoticed. When Khushrenada and I arrive there, you will be sent to a new regiment which you will lead with a string of medals that every soldier will have to respect and admire. Your authority will never be questioned again."
His heart racing, the sergeant bit his lip. He had wanted this... hoped and longed for this. Finally, he was going to be accepted and looked up to. After months of waiting, he was going to return to the field at last and defend his country the way that his father had wished to do one day long before the war.
And yet... he was not nearly as happy as he would have been several weeks ago. This news came with a bitter edge.
"I am looking forward to it," was all that Heero could manage once he swallowed the lump in his throat. "I am looking forward to the opportunity, sir."
The Sergeant Major concluded, "Very good. We will see you in five days, then." Offering a salutation, he disconnected the call with a click over the line.
Frozen in place, the young officer stood there with the dial tone humming in his ear. Once feeling returned to his body, he slowly lowered the receiver into its cradle but could not bring himself to turn around.
Back in the living room doorway, Duo bit his lip with his own legs locked in place. Already having guessed what the call was about, he fought back the building panic. It was only a matter of time before this announcement came. That certainly did not make the situation any less unnerving. No matter how much time he had, there was nothing that would make him ready to accept what was coming.
Whatever little moments of joy and peace they'd had that led up to that point were washed away in an instant. And suddenly, Duo felt very alone in the world again. Staring at the back turned to him, it was like a foreshadowing of how things were going to be between them; and it was breaking his heart.
He wanted to scream, cry, punch something... anything to get the overwhelming feelings out. Instead, the braided private took a deep breath and frowned, "So... our little vacation's about to be broken up, huh?"
Not waiting for a response, Duo moved to their little Christmas tree that neither wanted to put away. Gripping it by its middle, he removed it from the table as he shrugged, "Well, we both knew that this wasn't going to last forever. You'll finally have what you want, so I'm happy for you."
"Duo," Heero all but whispered as he finally turned away from the window he had been staring through. His friend paused in the doorway with the tree that he was about to discard still in his hand. Slowly, he raised his braided head so their eyes met.
The sergeant almost came undone at the emotions swirling in that violet gaze. "I..." he began with a cracking voice. Clearing his throat, he tried again, "I do not want this... not all of it, at least." Frustrated, he sighed and shook his head, "I wish that I had something I could say right now... but..."
Swallowing roughly, the private asked quietly, "So... how much time do we have left?"
Hesitant to answer, Heero fought back the conflicting feelings building in him. With a deep breath, he replied simply, "Five days. At the earliest."
It was like a punch to Duo's gut to know that they had such a short time left together, but he showed little to no reaction over the news. Gazing down at the tree in his hand, he said nonchalantly, "I better get rid of this. Can't have anything incriminating against you here when they get here."
Ever struggling to find words, the officer just lowered his head and nodded shallowly with his hands clenching into fists at his sides. He could not even bear to watch his friend walk out without another thing to say between then.
What could be said? The lines between them were clear from the first day that they met. They were the sergeant and the prisoner. The keeper and the captive. The Japanese and the American. Sworn enemies.
But as he stood there alone in the living room, Heero knew that it was not that simple. Nothing was that simple any longer.
There was his duty and there was his heart at odds with each other-waged in their own war. And it was tearing the sergeant apart.
Silently, a single tear slipped past his defenses.
* * * * * *
One of the last bottles of wine in the pantry sat between the two soldiers at dinner that night. Not a word was spoken all day and nothing changed that evening, yet the drink was understandably needed by both.
Eating their meal in their awkward silence, neither young man could look at the other. Far too much stood in the way of any discussion. And yet there was still a sympathetic companionship between them. Even in the midst of the storm that their situation had become.
By the time their dinner was finished, so was the wine bottle. The plates and silverware were simply left in the sink instead of washed and together, slightly hazed in their thoughts and actions, the pair headed for the couch in the living room.
Seated at opposite ends of the sofa, they just stared out to the moonlit world dusted by a thin blanket of fresh snow. Finally, after nearly a whole day of silence, Duo turned to face his friend and spoke up in little more than a whisper, "I don't want it to be like this between us for the rest of our time together, 'Ro."
A sharp sob was swallowed back before Heero looked over to his companion to say just as quietly, "Neither do I."
Between the cloud of the alcohol working its way through his system and his headed emotions, Heero really was not sure which was the greater contributor to his need to be close to his friend again. Whatever the reason, however, he opened his arms in a silent urge.
Without hesitating, Duo closed the distance between them as he was wrapped tightly. Resting his braided head on a strong shoulder, he fought the sting of tears in his eyes. Since receiving word that he would be taken away to fulfill his 'obligation' as a bargaining chip, he had come to a decision... perhaps the last decision that he would ever be allowed.
Fueled by the alcohol and his need, the private sat up and claimed Heero's lips roughly. Acting on the other soldier's gasp, he thrust his tongue into the open mouth while shifting himself to straddle the sergeant's waist.
Both shocked and pleased by the onslaught, Yuy answered every kiss with as much fervor as his own desire built up. It was not long before he felt himself harden under his friend's rocking hips and equally stiff groin. Moaning and closing his eyes, he pulled the lithe American as close as he could as their roaming of each other's bodies continued.
Once the need for air kicked in, Duo pulled away, panting heavily. Not allowing himself a moment to rethink his actions, he reached for the hem of the officer's tan sweater and tugged it off. His own, red sweater followed immediately after and he went right back in for another deep kiss.
Heero, acting only on instinct, allowed his hands to run down the other soldier's bare back until they cupped his tight bottom. Body heat rose as their bare torsos met and dampened with the sudden change in temperature.
Growling deeply, the private only became more aggressive with his attack whilst trailing his lips down until they wrapped around a hardening nipple. His head falling back, the officer hissed sharply.
They continued on with their exploration until they lowered themselves to lie fully on the couch with Duo below the Japanese soldier. Inwardly relieved by the change of position, the American reached his hands up for the belt buckle of his partner's jeans and began to free it. Only then did Heero snap out of the haze of his desire and half-drunken state, his cobalt eyes widening with a sharp gasp.
In a rush that hit like a ton of ice water on him, that horrific nightmare came back into the sergeant's vision. It began not unlike this moment before the two soldiers were separated from each other. Once he froze and propped himself up, then came the realization that something about the whole scenario was wrong.
Staring up at the officer as he panted heavily, Duo blinked his own wide and confused eyes with a breathless, "What's wrong?" His hair disheveled in wisps that freed from his braid, he propped himself up a bit on his elbows. The movement brought his cross and dogtags to chime together as he frowned deeply, "Why did you stop?"
"Why the sudden change?" Heero answered with his own question. "You have not been able to look me in the face all day and now this?"
Quietly panicking at being caught, the private's eyes widened further. Wiping the sweat from his face, he regained his composure and retorted, "You weren't complaining a moment ago."
Convinced even more by that statement, the officer pushed the rest of his body up to sit on the edge of the couch. "Why the sudden change?" he pressed. Raising a finger when his friend automatically opened his mouth to say something, he warned, "The whole truth. Not just a piece of the truth."
Duo's mouth closed with a click of his teeth at that. Swallowing roughly, he forced himself to sit up and ran a hand through his damn bangs. Slowly turning his head to stare out the window, the soldier began quietly, "I'm a virgin, 'Ro."
Stunned by the unexpected confession, Heero watched his friend with wide eyes. A virgin himself, he knew of the pressures to abstain until marriage. Still, he could not believe anyone as attractive as the braided young man beside him could go until his late teens without using that to his advantage.
Violet eyes narrowed and shimmering, the private met the gaze on him and declared, "And I'm going to be damned if some sick son of a bitch is going to take that from me! If I'm going to be his little toy, I can still take that little notch off his headboard! Instead, I can actually give that privilege to someone that I choose and want to share that with."
Leaning forward until his nose was nearly touching the shocked officer's, he growled, " This is the one and only thing that I have control over in my life and the very least that you can do is respect that and help me!"
Numb, Heero blinked in surprise as those words sunk in. Of course such a request made sense. And truly, he found himself wanting to be intimate with Duo. More than that, he wanted nothing more than to be able to give his friend any and everything that his heart desired to make him happy.
But this... this was different.
Closing his cobalt eyes, the sergeant could only whisper brokenly, "I can't." The blow across the face that followed knocked him across the floor. Rubbing his cheek, Heero turned his head up, eyes wide as Duo stalked towards him.
"You bastard," the American hissed. Fists shaking at the sides of his trembling body, he shouted, "One fucking favor! That's all that I ask and you can't even give me this decency!"
And at that, the last of Heero's barrier crumbled down, tears filled his own eyes as Duo lowered himself to the floor while hugging his legs towards himself. Lowering his head on his knees, the prisoner began shaking as he fought the drops running down his face.
When the officer sat in front of the other soldier and reached a hand for a trembling shoulder, he bit back a small sob when his friend flinched at his touch. But, determined to be heard, he reached with a finger to lift the heart-shaped face under its chin so their dampened eyes could meet.
Shaking his head, Heero said softly, "Not like this, Duo. Not under these circumstances. It just wouldn't be right. Somehow, I have the feeling that you do not actually want to be taken like this, either."
Despite his best effort to hold himself together, the braided soldier fell apart in hearing the truth from his companion's mouth. All but collapsing into the arms that reached out for him, he cried into a shoulder as the sergeant rocked him back and forth. In the end, Heero was right. This was the last thing that he wanted to have happen... at least under these conditions.
Part of him wanted to get this Treize somehow... but not in a rushed manner like the one that he was instigating. It wouldn't have been right and he would have regretted himself for it after the fact.
No. Duo's fate was set. And there was not a thing that he could do about it.
Death was not even an option. Where it would have been easier to just end it on his own, that was the coward's way out. So long as he had his life, there was always a chance he could somehow make it through even the most difficult of times. Even if he was torn apart in the process. Faintly, he whispered, "I'm scared."
Still rocking his friend in his arms, Heero allowed his own tears to fall. Biting his lip, he kissed the top of the head against his shoulder and replied, "I am, too." As much as he would have loved to deny it, he knew that he was largely responsible for the other soldier's fate. His damned pride and dedication to his country were overruling his decisions and actions, as they always did.
But unlike every other time, there was still so much being questioned on the officer's part. This life that he controlled was one that he knew and came to care for a great deal. He was directly responsible for the fate of someone that had become the only other person in the world besides his mother that understood him. The only other person that he could trust with everything.
Five days.
Like a constant mock, that figure played over and over in Heero's mind. Five days and he would return to the violent war while his one true friend was taken away to be tortured and most likely killed. So the blood would be on his own hands as well.
At some point, the pair had fallen asleep curled up together on the floor like that. Lost in their own thoughts and fears, the emotional and physical strain of it all caught up with them. Before either of them knew it, they had drifted off still clinging to one another.
* * * * * *
Just like every morning before, Heero woke just before sunrise. Blinking his cobalt eyes, he looked to the private holding on to him in his sleep. It did not take long for the prior night's events to catch up and the sergeant's heart sank again.
Four days now.
After that, there would be no more waking to look at that innocent and peaceful face. There would be no more looking forward to the day the way that he did now. Everything would focus around his missions and only his missions.
He would be back to being that 'Perfect Soldier' again. Little more than a machine.
Odin and Duo's message for him to follow his emotions echoed through the officer's mind. They were two of the few that encouraged him to just be and to live just being. What he was allowing to happen was little less than a slap in their faces by going back on what his heart was telling him to do.
But then there was that nagging drive that Heero had to serve his country... his people. And again, those two sides of him waged their internal war. Torn, he closed his cobalt eyes tightly as his hands balled into tight fists.
Four days.
Four days and everything good in his life would be stripped from him so that he could return to his duty.
Four days was more than enough time to actually do something about it.
With a sharp gasp, Heero's eyes shot wide open. A decision needed to be made and he had chosen. Best to go along with the idea before he questioned himself and lost more precious time.
Lightly shaking the soldier in his arms, the officer urged quietly, "Duo. Wake up."
Muttering something as he stirred, the braided private's eyes blinked open. Slowly raising his head while being mindful of the dull ache residing there from the prior night's drinking, he frowned, "'Ro?"
Carefully sitting up so that he brought the friend with him, the Japanese fighter announced, "We have a lot to do this morning, so we have to move." That said, he rose to his feet and grabbed his discarded sweater while heading to the bedroom.
His violet eyes blinking in confusion, Duo called, "What do we have to do this early in the morning?" Peering over his shoulder to look at the brightening sky through the window, he stated, "The sun isn't even up yet."
"Exactly," Heero nodded firmly over his shoulder. "If we hurry now, we can be out of here by noon. We'll need to cover all the ground we can before anyone knows that we're gone."
TBC...
To The Next Chapter
Back to SkyLark's Fanfictions Page