Author: SkyLark
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: 1x2x1
Warnings: Slight Angst, Sap, Romance
Betaed By: ShenLong Deb
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, or its characters. I just love playing with them.
Archive: Debs-Dragon - GW Diaries
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, or its characters. I just love playing with them.
A Wish For Santa
December 24. Christmas Eve.
My favorite day of the year for some time now.
Knowing the big day ahead, I wake up smiling as I do every year this particular day. I stretch, shuffle out of bed and head for the bathroom while whistling a melody of Christmas songs along the way. My braid is unraveled and clothes are tossed off before I step into the shower to wash up.
Today is going to be an even better Christmas Eve than the one last year and the one before that. Never before will there be a jollier Santa Clause than the one I am going to become in a few hours. And considering the run I have had since playing the role, I have set the bar high for myself.
Not even the fact that a certain someone can't be here for Christmas is going to put a damper on that. My hands stop in the middle of their massaging the shampoo into my hair at that thought. For the last few days, I was able to force myself to not think about that.
Damn it. Not today. Any day but today.
But try as I might, I know that the mental block I've been putting on the situation is giving way. How I managed to keep the emotions back this long has been a surprise.
Sighing under the warm spray of water, I finish my shower and towel off before tending to my hair... all done on auto-pilot as my thoughts wander back to Heero's sitting down with me to announce his long stint of a mission that he had been ordered to over a week ago.
After the wars, Heero and I had chosen different courses for ourselves.
Being unable to completely do away with all of his training as easily as I had, he went to sign with the Preventers after a long hiatus in space. Meanwhile, I chose to pull away from as much of the battle and bloodshed as I could. When Hilde informed me of her opening a salvage yard and needing a partner to help her run it, I took the opportunity without blinking and have not regretted it.
Nearly a year since I last laid eyes on Deathscythe, so appeared the 'Perfect Soldier' on my doorstep. By then, he was just in the talks of becoming an agent for Lady Une and her organization after touring around and weighing his options.
It stunned me to no end at that visit when Yuy told me that his reconnecting with me was one of his top priorities. We kept in touch through our distance with calls, emails and found ways of just hanging out more times in person than I would have thought possible with his living on the Earth and my residing on L2.
Before long, there were more and more excuses between Heero and myself to get together. One thing led to another and that led us to a night out on the town here on L2 where we both hammered way too many drinks and woke to find ourselves in my bed with more than enough evidence to make it known we did more than just sleep when we made our way back.
I could have been knocked over with a feather when instead of running, Heero was relieved by our 'accidental' night of passion. The floodgates opened for the both of us as we stayed entwined together and naked beneath my tangled sheets. We ended up talking for hours over the feelings that we had been hiding.
And so that day became our anniversary as we decided to make our relationship exclusive.
Most long distance relationships struggle, but ours never did. We never lacked in communicating and getting together every chance we could. Then, Heero made another big leap by transferring to the Colony-centered Preventer unit to be able to move in with me.
Blissfully, we have been living together for almost three years now. Oh, of course we are just like any other couple with the occasional clash of personalities and personal interests, but we have never had an argument that ended without us feeling resolved and even closer for being understood after airing out our frustrations.
One of the things that I absolutely adore Heero for is the fact that he appreciates how important the holidays are for me. Especially Christmas. Not only does he appreciate it, but he supports me and does everything that he can to help make the day special.
Sometimes, however, even the best of intentions are not enough when duty calls. This will be our first Christmas apart since Heero returned from his scouting the galaxy. And it's the one day that I really wish that he could be here, but I get it.
It'll just be insanely lonely without him is all.
But, hey, this is what I signed on for. I know his need to feel needed, accomplished in defending the peace that we fought for. It's with that understanding that I have sat beside Heero's hospital bed following one too many close calls for my liking. It's why I never ask, beg him to come and work at the yard with me where he'll be safe and sound.
Over the last year especially, I have sensed a shift in him when it came to his responsibility to the Preventers. But then again, that could always just be my wishful thinking that has me convinced that I really did see longing in his eyes to just stay home with me when he would be called on a mission. It was my imagination that has had me sensing him growing so very tired of it all.
None of that could have been the case or I doubt highly that Heero would have left me over the holiday for the case.
I have to stop thinking about all of this right now. The kids are counting on me and I am not about to let them down.
What kind of Santa would I be if I let a little heart sickness get in the way of their happiness?
* * * * * *
The drive to the orphanage is a pleasant one even considering how many cars are on the roads. Whistling along with the radio, I tap in time to the drumbeat on my steering wheel and pull into the parking lot of the massive facility that had been built where Maxwell Church once stood.
Relena was the one to help raise the funds for the beautiful chapel-like building thanks to a whisper in her ear from Heero. It became an anniversary gift of sorts to us from the former Queen of the World. And since the opening of its doors, it has taken care of hundreds of children orphaned from the wars and beyond.
And every Christmas Eve that has come and gone, I have had the privilege of playing Santa Claus to those children.
Ever the gracious Vice Foreign Minister, Relena saw to it that there would be a year-round fundraiser to give the left behind, forgotten and abandoned everything that they could possibly want and need... including a merry Christmas. So came the grand scheme of mine that Santa should always make a personal visit to the kids to deliver their presents.
As a regular visitor to the Grace Orphanage, I know every name by heart. And what Santa does not know the names of his good little boys and girls when he sees them?
Whatever desire the children should have is documented by the men and women who see to their care everyday consisting of clerical and non-clerical. All to guarantee that the little ones' faces light up when they open their gift to find exactly what they had wished for.
Having been in their shoes before, I know how important it is for those kids to have something to look forward to... for them to feel like they're not any different from other kids with a family. There came in more support from Heero, being there to pick up and wrap the gifts while standing back to watch as I put on a show for the youngsters.
God, I love that guy!
Why the hell did he have to miss being here?
Again, I remind myself that now is not the time to think those things. Guiding my car into one of the parking spots, I slip out of the car and grab the large, black bag waiting in the backseat that hides Jolly 'Ol Saint Nick's suit and gear.
Carefully hurrying through one of the back doors, I slip inside unspotted by anyone inside. The staff knows to have their charges away from the windows at this time so that they do not know I am around.
My keen stealth skills from the war continue to come in handy while I silently navigate my way through the lower corridors to the room spared of any boxes that serves as my changing room on this day every year.
On goes the red suit with billowy white tufts of cotton that is stuffed with pillows before I buckle the thick, black belt closed. Then go the pants followed by the black, shiny boots. Tucking my braid in, I use a wall mirror to see that I set the beard just right and set the long, red cap with its famous powder-puff at the end. Fake silver hair covers my own at the sides as well as my bangs.
Last but not least, I grip one of the many red sacks waiting by and toss it over my shoulder. Appraising myself, I smile wide and bring on that twinkle in my eyes to complete the transformation.
Yep. Not one trace of anything but merriness to be found.
"Hello, Santa," A warm and friendly voice greets.
Turning, I my smile grows in finding Relena already set in her own full costume. I must say that between the wig, fake spectacles and thick green dress that touches the floor, the girl makes the perfect person for the role that she has played as long as I have. Chuckling, I greet in my put on older voice, "Well, hello, Misses Claus."
She giggles and closes the distance between us so that we can peck cheeks and hug tightly. Pulling back, the soon-to-be bride is all aglow with excitement as she announces, "The kids are being brought into the auditorium. Are you about ready to head up?"
I slide back into my own timber and nod firmly, "More than ready."
* * * * * *
There is such a thrill that comes every time Hilde, dressed in her full elf costume complete with pointed ears and belled slippers, stands on the stage and announces the arrival of Santa and Mrs. Claus. The children cheer at the top of their lungs and clap as Relena and I walk out hand-in-hand to wave to our audience standing around a winter wonderland of artificial snow, lit trees and other decorations that cover the space.
Instantly, the line forms with the anxious, wide-eyed faces while I take my place in the candy cane-flanked, tall-backed seat. The other elves that have volunteered their time for this event gather up the red sacks to have them at the ready beside me. Laughing that beloved 'Ho, Ho, Ho,' I wave more at the children and begin to pull them one-by-one into my lap for some one-on-one time with them.
First is little Holly, only six years of age, who had been orphaned when she lost both of her parents at too young an age to even remember them. For her, I put in a bit extra to make sure that she got everything she desired and then some.
"Well hello there, Holly," I smile through the beard on my face while I lift her into my lap. The moment she is lowered, she giggles and throws her arms around my neck. Patting her back, I laugh, "Always the good little girl. And what is it that you have been hoping for this Christmas?"
All the bundle of energy that she is, the blonde child answers in a rush, "I'd really, really like a new robe, Santa."
Just as it does every time, my heart twists at the simple wishes that these kids have. They never really ask for anything unreasonable. Having so little to their own, they keep their desires within the realm of what they can imagine themselves ever owning.
Of course, they all get much more than that when people like myself, Heero and Relena are involved in something like this.
Running my hand over Holly's head, I smirk, "Oh, I think that Santa can do that and better for a good girl like you." At that, Relena steps up beside us to give the little one a hug and her warmest of smiles before handing over the three wrapped gifts that had been designated for her.
Instantly, we are both attacked with embraces and kisses from our first visitor. One of the elves comes around to assist her with her presents and leads her off the stage to open her gifts on the auditorium floor. There is a warm sensation when I can hear Holly's squeal of happiness when she finds the plush robe and doll house with all of its accessories from where I sit.
And so goes on the rest of the early afternoon. One after another, each child comes up to voice the meager wishes that they have, giving all of the hugs and words of thanks that they can before running off with their presents. All the while, I take in the sheer joy flooding the room and suddenly all of my own personal troubles are completely forgotten.
How could I ever have been as selfish as to worry about myself when there are kids like these with so little to be happy about? And yet not one of them complains about their situation. It's incredibly... humbling to see all of them as well as a bittersweet reminder of how things had been for me when I was on the streets.
Weeks, months of planning and events take place leading up to this day and it all goes so quickly. Before I know it, we are nearing the end of the line of kids waiting to see Santa yet. Already, I am wishing that we had enough children here to keep me busy all day like this.
Patting the head of the boy in my lap an his big eyes take in the gifts in Mrs. Claus's arms, I grin, "Merry Christmas, Justin. Keep being a good example for the others." Tying me up in a full hug, he moves to give Relena one of her own. Laughing, she assists him from my lap and hands him over to a smiling Hilde.
In spotting the next little girl approaching me, I open my arms and greet excitedly in my deepened voice, "Rachel!" Latching onto me tight when I hoist her up, I laugh, "I was hoping to be able to see you here one more time." I lean in and whisper, "A little bird tells me that you have found a family. I am very happy for you."
All a beam, the green-eyed, ponytailed brunette of a whole six years of age nodded excitedly, "Yes, Santa. I cannot wait to go home! And I know you helped!"
My chest swells at that, well aware that she has no idea how true that actually is. Along with this volunteering of my time, my service to Grace Orphanage is in their placement staffing. We have quite the success rate. Most of the kids in this room today will be in homes within a few months, all of them likely by the time next year rolls around. And all of their places will be filled with others.
Winking, I tell her quietly, "Well, I need to make sure that all of my good boys and girls find a good place to live. My job is not just making toys for Christmas, after all."
I fight back the lump that forms in my throat when Rachel throws her arms around my neck with a tearfully cheered, "I knew it!" Kissing my rosy cheek, she whispers by my ear, "Thank you so much, Santa. That was all that I wanted for Christmas. I don't need nothing else."
"Oh, well you must have something today. A few things to take with you to your new home," I grin when she pulls away. On cue, Relena comes up with her arms filled with the wrapped gifts that bear my charge's name on them.
Biting her lip, Rachel looks from Mrs. Claus to the gifts then back to me. Her small frown turning into her brilliant smile again, she laughs, "But you don't know my new wish yet, Santa!"
New wish? I start to panic, completely caught off-guard by that. One of the best things about this day is ensuring that all of these kids get exactly what they want and this time Santa might not be able to deliver. I can feel my heart hammering in my chest and tilt my head as I ask, "Well, what is your new wish then?"
Whatever it is, I brace myself and try to come up with a way of breaking the disappointing news to her gently.
Sitting up in my lap, the girl cups the side of her mouth as I hold my breath. Leaning in close, she whispers to me, "I wish that you get whatever you want, Santa. No one ever asks what you wish for."
There are quiet gasps beside me from Relena and Hilde, who I know are in earshot of us. My own breath had hitched in my throat and there my eyes sting from the surge of tears that sprang up at the unexpected request.
Never before do I ever remember being asked that before. I already know what I would wish for without having to think about it. But there's just no way that it would come true, considering the circumstances.
Still, to have such a selfless wish from someone as young at Rachel... it's as moving as hell. It takes a lot for me to blink back the dampness in my eyes.
Relena has to turn away to reach up and remove her glasses to wipe away the tears that she couldn't keep back before turning back quickly to smile, "That is a wonderful gesture, little one," she breathes, thick with emotion. Even Hilde is clearing her throat and glancing away as she always does whenever she's struggling to keep herself together.
"Yes, that truly was most kind of you, Rachel," I somehow manage. She just beams again as I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head. Just able to find my voice again, I tell her sincerely, "Thank you."
I take a moment to collect myself when she hops off my lap and goes to be led off. Looking over her shoulder as Hilde escorts her, Rachel gives me another thousand-watt smile and waves before she rounds the corner of the stage.
Clearing my throat, I take a deep breath when I feel a gently squeeze on my arm. Slowly bending down, Relena asks worriedly under her breath, "Are you all right, Duo?"
With a deep breath, I meet her reddened eyes and nod, firmly, "Yea, that just... knocked me off my game a little." Grinning, Lena just smiles and nods back in understanding before she righted herself again.
There is no time to dwell anymore over the passed on wish. There are more children waiting for their turn with Santa.
* * * * * *
Removing her wig of white curls, Relena sighs deeply, "Well, I must say that was quite the successful Christmas Eve." All of the 'elves' around nod soundly and vocally second the sentiment as they remove their caps and ears.
"Not bad at all," I agree, taking my beard and wig off of my head. Now that the festivities are over, not all of the guards that I have put up in dealing with Christmas alone are crashing down fast.
Before Relena or Hilde offer to have me stay with them, I plan my quick escape. Though I wouldn't be alone if I did spend the day with them, it would be even harder to see them with their significant others while I'm without my other half.
Despite my best laid plan of getting away once I was back into my own clothes, the girls are right on my heels. "Look," I sigh while leading the way through the back door and into the cool night air. Peering over my shoulder, I put on my best goofball grin and shrug, "I appreciate what you're both trying to do. Really. But I think I can handle a day by myself."
The concern on their faces shifts into surprise when they suddenly freeze in place, looking past me. Stopping myself, my mouth opens to ask what caught their tongues when I hear an all too familiar voice announce politely, "Besides, he won't actually be alone tomorrow."
No way.
My eyes widen as my breath catches in my throat. Slowly, too afraid that if I move too quickly I'll realize that I had imagined things, I turn around. And there, in all his glory stands Heero. A smirk tugging his lips when our gazes meet, he greets quietly, "Hello, Duo."
Something unintelligible croaks from my throat and I stammer, "Y-you... but... what are you?" I hear Lena and Hilde giggle followed by their quick footsteps of escape.
Even though he is right in front of me, flesh and bone, I just can't process the fact that my partner is actually here. But sure enough, he moves towards me wearing the same blue sweater that I gifted him with last year which along with his jeans serves as more than enough to fend off the chill on L2 tonight.
A realization hits me like a wall when he stops right in front of me and I finally come out of my stupor and laugh, "You finished the mission sooner than expected! That's awesome!" Elated, I wrap myself around him in a hug that almost knocks us both off our feet when he took a second to catch me right.
"That is one way of looking at it," Heero chuckles warmly by my ear as he takes me in his own arms and kisses the top of my head.
Frowning, I pull away and look back into his eyes that I can just drown in. Normally I can read him well, but there is something I'm missing. Tilting my head, I ask, "What do you mean?"
In the matter-of-fact way that only he can pull, Heero shrugs, "I stepped down, left the rest of the mission to the rest of the team to finish once the more dangerous details were over."
Stepped down. There is absolutely no way I heard him right.
The corners of my mouth spread out in a grin again and I snicker, "You mean to tell me that you, Heero Yuy, walked from a mission? For what, to spend Christmas with me?"
A perplexed expression washes over my lover's face and he replies, "Do I need a better reason?" It's then that I can see everything that I need to read in him and I freeze. He's serious. He walked away from a damned mission... the fucking Perfect Soldier just... left his duty.
Picking up on my shock, Heero takes a deep breath, tightens his arms around me and explains, "I woke up yesterday morning realizing that you would be spending Christmas without me... that I wouldn't be with you and I just couldn't let that happen. Not when I was perfectly capable of changing that."
Oh my God. I am completely in love with this guy.
But there is still one overwhelming thought that is keeping me from just kissing the hell out of him. "Une is going to be pissed," I half-laugh half-moan. The last thing that I want to see happen is him taking the fall for me like this.
"I think that she'll understand when she reads my letter of resignation," Heero responds. Again, I am completely struck dumb, unable to believe that this is really happening. At least that is until I really take in the circles under his eyes. His smile droops along with his shoulders and he actually looks like the young man that he is instead of the man that he had to grow into at such a young age.
After a long pause, he sighs quietly, "I'm just... so damned tired."
That's all I need to hear and I'm holding onto him as tightly as he is me, all too quickly aware of how unsteady he is in his letting go of years of sacrificing himself for the better of others. I've been here. I know how to help him cope. And he will never be a better life partner.
Leaning up, I close the distance between our mouths and kiss the hell out of Heero the way that I've been aching to since he left. He melts against me and seems to have wanted this every bit as much as I have.
When we pull away to finally breathe, I rest my forehead against his and smile, "Come on. Let's go home." Relieved, he smiles back and nods. Keeping an arm wrapped around my waist behind me, he leans against me as we walk for the car together.
Along the way, I can't help but silently thank Rachel. After all, this is the best Christmas gift I could ever receive.
I guess that sometimes even Santa's wishes come true.
OWARI
Author's Note: The last moment was inspired was this beautiful card that T-Shirt commissioned for me this season: http://s184.photobucket.com/albums/x220/t-shirt1x2/animations%201/?action=view¤t=skylarkxmas2009flasha.flv
Back to SkyLark's Fanfictions Page