Ray of Hope Part 3
He was drowning.
Just then he seemed to claw his way past the water surface, another wave pushed him deeper under. His lungs ached from the lack of air. Terror-stricken, he desperately swam upward, praying to get beyond the cold hold of the sea around him.
Suddenly, from out of the abyss, a hand rested on his shoulder to give it a gentle squeeze.
At the feeling of the gentle touch, his cobalt eyes snapped open wide from the grips of his nightmare. With a sharp gasp, he sat upright in his hospital, panting heavily he would have been were he breaking through the water surface in the dream that plagued him for nights now. Had he still had the need for the IV in his left arm, he would have been cut badly in his sudden bolt to sit up. His eyes still wide, sweat ran down his face as he took in his surroundings.
Finally, just as his breathing calmed and he sat back, he could feel the hand on his shoulder as it squeezed again. Lying back into his bed, he looked up into a pair of familiar violet eyes that were filled with concern. "You alright, Heero?" the owner of that piercing gaze asked softly with a deep frown of worry.
'Heero?' he thought to himself. It took only a moment for him to recall the name that he was given just the day before. Trying desperately to recall his real name, to recall anything from his past at all, he suddenly felt as though he were drowning again. Visions of his dream returned and he could feel his lungs burning again.
The braided young man over him seemed to sense the growing panic in him as he gently rubbed his uninjured arm. "Hey, it's okay," he eased quietly with another squeeze from his hand. "It was just a nightmare. You're safe now." Suddenly, everything came rushing back, his visitor's name, the story of the accident, his head injury... everything came back and he grasped onto it.
Forcing himself to take a deep, slow breath through his nose, he closed his eyes and forced himself to relax again. After another deep breath and slow release, his pounding heart began to ease at last. Slowly opening his eyes again, he swallowed hard and looked back up to the young man watching him silently. With a deep sigh, he managed a small nod, not quite trusting his voice at that moment.
Duo. The lighthouse keeper that rescued him. That was his name. The American smiled down at him in relief. "You gave me a bit of a scare, man," he chuckled softly. "It took me a while to wake you from that one."
Heero blinked his cobalt eyes in confusion. 'This one?' Thinking back, remembered how the last few mornings, Duo had been the first person to greet him in the morning ever since he woke following his accident, whether waiting for him to wake peacefully or to break him from the grasp of that nightmare that plagued him.
After a long pause, the lighthouse keeper ran a hand through his long bangs and smiled nervously, "Well, Good morning." Bending at the waist, he revealed a bag of clothes. "I picked these up for you last night. I wasn't exactly sure about what size you take, but there is enough variety here that something should fit."
'I don't even remember what size clothes I wear,' he thought bitterly to himself. How long would it be before his memories returned? Would they ever return? Suddenly, he just felt very tired again.
The door opened as a smiling Doctor Po entered. Walking over to her patient, she greeted kindly, "How are you feeling this morning, Heero?"
It took nearly every ounce of strength in him not to snort resentfully at the question. He just wanted to be angry at everything. There was nothing of his own twenty-some years of life that he had for himself any longer. Despite his frustration, he managed to reply flatly, "Fine."
At that, Sally's smile grew all the more and she went about examining the chart at the end of the bed. Turning the couple of pages there, she lowered the clipboard and announced, "Well, everything is as it should be. Once I remove the stitches from the wounds that healed, you'll be a free man."
Raising his hands in the air, Duo replied, "I'll be in the hallway when you're finished with that job, Sal. You know I have a weak stomach for that kind of stuff." With that, he turned on his heels and headed for the door.
As she sat on the edge of the bed, Sally laughed and called after her ex-boyfriend, "I do have smelling salts in case you change your mind, lovie." With a deep chuckle, Duo shook his head and closed the door behind him.
His eyes widening slightly, Heero looked from the door to the doctor and back to the door. "I didn't realize that the two of you were dating," he heard himself commenting before he realized he thought the notion aloud.
Looking up from where she had begun to remove a large bandage from her patient's right let, Sally blinked in confusion. Looking to the door and back to the young man watching her, she laughed good-naturedly, "Oh, no, Duo's my ex."
In hearing her own comment, she chuckled deeply, "If you could even call us exes, considering we only dated for a couple months and even then, we only kissed maybe three times. We just call each other 'lovie' in a platonic way." She removed a small pair of medical scissors and tweezers from her pocket and set to her work.
Something in knowing that the only two people he had known since waking to his new life was surprising to Heero. In many ways, he could see that their personalities would make them a good pair in some way. Even if their courting did not continue, it only seemed right that the two of them would remain friends rather than be apart. Little by little, he was having a better understanding of the two people that had become so influential in his existence.
As the braided doctor worked carefully and efficiently, her steady hands removing every stitch without causing any discomfort, an almost companionable silence fell between them. Sitting up in his bed, Heero gazed out his window, silently wondering what waited for him in that world beyond the glass.
Swallowing hard past the lump that was building in his throat, the Japanese young man asked quietly, "Doctor Po?" He turned his head just as she raised her own to meet his gaze. "Will I ever get my memory back?" he questioned softly, silently amazed at how steady his voice was despite his inner turmoil.
The braided doctor finished replacing the last bandage with a small sigh. Straightening herself, she smiled sadly, "I wish that I could give you a straight answer to that, Heero. Global amnesia has been known to be both permanent and temporary, depending on the damage."
Folding her arms and slowly taking a deep breath, Sally continued, "As much research as there is on your condition, amnesia of this kind is also one of the most unpredictable. It takes a great deal of stress-whether that stress be physical, mental or a combination of the two- to cause a complete loss of memory such of yours."
She bit her lip in silent consideration before stating, "Now, I am not an expert in such matters as memory loss, but I have been researching the last few days. Looking to your head injuries endured from the accident, I don't believe that there was enough damage to say that your condition was cause from only physical stress."
Heero lowered his head in a slight nod as he considered the doctor's words. He honestly wasn't sure how to react to such news. If there was any kind of emotional stress that helped lead to his state, perhaps it was best not to remember. Still, the overwhelming sense of loss in not knowing anything about himself or the life he led threatened to tear him apart at times.
A gentle hand fell on his shoulder, bringing his gaze back up to meet the sad smiling eyes of his care taker. "Like I said, I am not an expert," she spoke reassuringly. "However, I will continue to look into any and all research that will help you get through this."
His bitterness and anger subsiding at the sincerity in the young woman's eyes, Heero gave another small nod and replied quietly, "Thank you, Doctor Po."
Snorting, she replied, "That's the other thing, just call me Sally like all of my other friends, ok?" She finished her request with a wink before rising from her perch on the side of the bed. Unable to help himself, the Japanese young man gave a small smirk back. He was silently grateful in noting that the doctor was not expecting a response from him.
Friend. At least he had a friend in this new life. No, two, Heero corrected himself. Somehow, Duo had managed to slip into the title of a friend as well. The lighthouse keeper had saved his life and opened his home to him, after all. It was still going to take time to get adjusted to everything.
Looking to the bag of clothes that her ex-boyfriend had left for her patient, Sally smiled, "Well, I shall leave you to get dressed so that Duo can get you settled in." Gesturing to the right arm, she stated, "That cast should come off in a little over a month. Most of the worst fractures were set, but they need to heal. I'll make an appointment to remove it as the time gets closer."
With a nod, Heero watched as Sally headed for the door. Looking over her shoulder, she said quietly, "Try to go easy on Duo. No one expects you to accept everything right away. There will be good days and bad days ahead for you, and understand that as well. But while Duo and I may only be the best of friends, I still love him dearly. He's a good guy who just wants to help people."
Their eyes locked, Heero finally replied quietly, "I promise to try." In all honesty, it was the best response he could make. There was no way of knowing how he would handle coping with his condition from one moment to the next. Still, he meant every word of his vow to the young doctor.
At that, Sally smiled and nodded, "That's all I ask." Satisfied with that, she turned and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Giving himself a moment longer in his hospital bed, one last view through the windows of the room, Heero pushed himself up and turned so that his feet hung off the side. At retrieving the bag of clothing, he set about shedding his hospital gown.
Several minutes later, finding that most of the clothing that Duo had picked up fit rather well, Heero was pleasantly surprised to find that he had a few articles to choose from. When he was finished, he chose a simple, light blue T-shirt and a pair of black jean shorts for that afternoon. His sneakers, the only part of his outfit that he had been washed up shore in that remained in tact, were slipped on to finish his dressing.
Looking to the door, the Japanese young man silently contemplated if he was truly ready to leave the security of his hospital room. With a deep breath that he held for a moment, he told himself quietly, "One foot in front of the other."
Slowly, he approached he door to open it... and stepped into the unknown.
* * * * * *
The car ride to Duo's residence was made in silence. With the wind blowing through his opened passenger seat window to ruffle his hair, Heero avoided looking at himself in the mirror. During his hospital stay, he had refused any offer from Sally in having the use of a mirror. That was something that he was still not quite ready to cope with-gazing on his own face and not recognizing it.
Lost in his own thoughts at the turn of events that had happened over the last few days, Heero did not even recognize the car slowing to a stop, nor the engine shutting down. Duo's gentle voice brought him back to the present as he called, "We're here."
Blinking his unfocused eyes, the Japanese young man shook his head. Silently, he reached up to unlock his door and step out to the sea-scented air. Having to shield his eyes from the high sun, Heero peered up to the tall lighthouse that stood only a few feet ahead of them. Just to the side of the tall building was a comfortable looking log home.
In the silence, Duo moved to stand beside the young stranger and smiled, "Welcome to my humble abode."
TBC...
Medical Definition: Global amnesia is total memory loss. This may be a defense mechanism, which occurs after a traumatic event.
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