[Reality can really cut you down to size
But don't ever lose that light in your eyes
Don't ever lose that light in your eyes]
--- Lyrics to 'The Light In Your Eyes' by Leann Rimes
Ray of Hope Part 11
"You know I'll always be here for you."
His cobalt eyes snapping open, Heero sat up in his bed, panting for air. That voice, it was the same girl's voice that he had heard the morning before. With a deep moan, the young sailor cupped his sweat-soaked face in his hands to ward off the beginning of a dull headache. Once the pain subsided, he lied back down, folding his arms over his bare chest as he stared up at the ceiling to collect his thoughts.
The strangely familiar sadness that came with the voice the first time returned. That simple phase that had been spoken with such sincerity only proved to Heero all the more that he had been close to whoever was speaking to him through his dreams. It was almost as if the memories of her, themselves, were desperately clawing through the haze of his amnesia to make him remember. Still, he couldn't get past the nagging ache associated with it.
Was she a past girlfriend? Girlfriend? Or even a sister? There were still too many pieces missing to be able to know the nature of the relationship for certain. Aside from whatever that connection was, why would the memories of her bring sadness as opposed to relief or joy whenever they came?
Finally deciding that sitting in bed and waiting for the answers to his questions to magically appear on the white ceiling was not going to happen, Heero rose from bed. Reaching over to the bedside table for his long bandage, he carefully wrapped his healing right arm.
After pulling on a plain, deep blue T-shirt and a pair of jean shorts over his boxers, the Japanese sailor made his way from the room to start the day. Duo was going to be returning from his overnight stay at the lighthouse and he wanted to get a good start on making breakfast before he got back home.
As soon as he stepped out into the hallway, the young sailor froze in shock when a very wet and very naked Duo stepped out of the steam-filled bathroom. The long-haired lighthouse keeper was just wrapping a white towel around his bare waist as he walked into the hall.
With a sharp gasp, the damp young man's violet eyes widened when they locked with Heero's and he blushed violently. The sailor had to look away to hide his own burning shade, silently hoping that he wasn't just caught staring openly his friend's perfect body.
"S-sorry, man," Duo sputtered in embarrassment, his hands making sure that the towel at his slender waist was secure to prevent any further awkwardness. "I didn't hear anyone walking around, so I figured you were still asleep."
Quickly shaking his head, Heero replied, "It's all right. This is your house, after all." His mouth went dry when he looked up to meet his worried friend's gaze. The lighthouse keeper's pale body was pinkish from the warm water from his shower. And his long tresses were free of their usual braid for the first time in the sailor's presence, the wet strands dripping and sticking to his toned form.
It was Duo that needed to swallow hard in watching those piercing cobalt eyes glance over him. Running a hand through his wet bangs, he grinned, "Well, I managed to beat you in starting breakfast. One of my specialties should be finishing up soon, so I'm going to make myself decent." With that, he turned and headed for his room at the other end of the hall.
As the American walked off, Heero blinked his eyes and shook his head. "O-okay," he managed finally. With a small smile on his face, he headed downstairs. If there was any doubt in his mind over his attraction for Duo, the nice view certainly cleared it up.
The day certainly seemed to be making a turn for the better.
* * * * * *
Later, that afternoon, Duo was up in the lighthouse's watch room making his weekly inspections of the wicks and mechanics. Carefully cutting a few long wicks as he sat on the edge of his bed, another violent coughing fit overcame him. His mouth covered, he desperately tried to catch his breath, he wheezed badly. When the cough finally subsided, he lowered his shaking hand from his mouth and frowned deeply, "Not now."
Opening and closing his hand a few times to stop the shaking, the braided lighthouse keeper went back to his work. His violet eyes narrowed in concentration on the delicate string of wax in his hands, he carefully sliced a long enough piece.
These weekly inspections and maintenance visits were as trying for Duo as they were relaxing. Everything in caring for a lighthouse required quiet and patience. It was almost like a meditation practice for him, allowing him to clear his thoughts in peace.
This visit, however, he was able to do anything but clear his thoughts.
After that morning's incident, Duo kept thinking of how Heero kept staring at his half-naked body. Then again, he wasn't sure if he really was staring, or if he was just imagining that. Over the near two months that he had come to know the sailor, he had to admit that he was more than attracted to him. The fact that Heero was finally opening up only made that appeal all the more difficult to deal with.
What with everything that was going on in their lives, both recovering from different things, Duo was certain that he was not willing to begin hoping that something more than friendship would ever happen. Still, he couldn't help but wish for that. While rewarding, his years of living alone to care for the lighthouse were terribly lonely. And it was only nature for a person to want to find happiness with someone else.
...But then, being with someone else meant having to be open and honest with them. That was the one thing that Duo wasn't sure he was ready for. Being honest with what he was dealing with meant that he had to admit to himself that there was a problem.
"Duo?" Heero's voice from the stairway below snapped the braided lighthouse keeper from his thoughts. Blinking in surprise, the American walked over to the hatch in the floor to pull it open. Just below, waiting on the stairs, the blue-eyed sailor stood with a friendly smile.
As he raised a basket and shrugged, "I made us lunch, since you took care of breakfast. You've been up here for a while, so I thought that you would be hungry."
With a wide smile of appreciation, Duo nodded, "That's great. Thanks, man." He lowered a hand to take up the basket filled with goods so that his friend could climb up into the room. It certainly was a relief to the American to know that he had not warded Heero off after their awkward run in that morning.
Gesturing up to the stairs leading up, the lighthouse keeper suggested, "We'll have more space up in the lantern room." With that, he led the way.
As he climbed into the large, round space, Heero took a moment to gaze out the tall windows that looked out on the world around them. With the sun high overhead, he could look out to the island city below for miles on one side and to the sea's horizon on the other. "I'll never get tired of this view," he commented.
Unfolding a white sheet onto the floor, Duo took a seat on one side and chuckled deeply, "So you didn't come up just for the pleasure of my company after all."
With a small grin as he sat across from the other young man, Heero replied sincerely, "No, I came up here for that, too."
The braided young man froze as he reached into the basket. He hadn't been prepared for the genuineness in that statement. Unable to think of how else to respond, Duo smiled warmly before removing the sandwiches drinks and snacks. The pair ate in companionable silence for a bit as they enjoyed their surroundings.
Swallowing a long gulp from his soda can, Duo said quietly, "You were out on the cliffs for a long time last night. Is everything okay?" he looked up with concerned violet eyes as he reached for another sandwich.
Heero finished chewing his forkful of salad and nodded, "Yea. I just needed to get some air for a bit." It wasn't a complete lie, he thought to himself. He just wasn't ready to bring up the visions that he had yet, lest he have to remind himself of the pain that came with them. His concern appeased, Duo nodded and continued to enjoy his lunch.
As they finished their meal, Heero peered out to the sea and asked, "So how did you become the lighthouse keeper of the island, anyway?" The interest clear in his cobalt eyes, his head turned to meet his friend.
Lowering his soda can, Duo took a deep breath and it was his turn to gaze out to the ocean. Unable to meet the eyes watching him, he continued to look away as he answered quietly, "I took over after my dad. Heero Yuy."
His eyes widening, Heero blinked in surprise. He had not expected that the person he was named after to be the lighthouse keeper's father. Before he was able to stop himself, he heard himself saying, "But your last name's Maxwell."
With a deep chuckle, Duo finally met his gaze and nodded, "I kept my mother's maiden name. She died when I was nine." His smile faded as he lowered his head and continued, "My dad passed away from a rare, hereditary form of leukemia two years ago, when I was eighteen. I promised him that I would take care of things here before he went."
Swallowing hard, Heero frowned deeply and whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up... I didn't know."
Duo raised his braided head to reply, "It's all right. I don't get many chances to really talk about him." Clearing his throat, he stared down to the white sheet and stated softly, "He was one hell of a guy. When I turned sixteen, he brought me up here and taught me everything that he knew when it came to running the lighthouse."
The braided lighthouse keeper's fingers idly ran along the hem of the sheet as he went on, "Then, couple years later, he got this terrible flu that he couldn't shake and he was in a bit of pain that he thought was related to it. When he went in to visit his doctor, they ran a few tests and they came back saying he only had six months." At the mention of that, his voice cracked and he had to swallow past the lump in his throat. "I miss him," was all he could manage after that.
With a deep, shaky breath, Duo raised his head again with small tears in his eyes and forced a sad smile on his face. "But I kept my word," he nodded to himself. "All that I wanted was to make my dad proud. He wouldn't let himself go until he knew that someone he trusted was taking care of things here in his place, and he knew that I wouldn't let him down."
After wiping his eyes, he cleared his throat again. His sad smile grew a bit as he looked onto his friends eyes and shrugged, "So, that's how I got where I am today."
With a sad smile of his own, Heero gave a firm nod of appreciation that did not need any words at that moment. Once the last of their meal was finished, they worked together in silence in cleaning up the floor, placing the sheet, wrappers and cans back into the picnic basket.
Once they were finished, Duo stepped out onto the gallery and into the warm breeze as he looked over the city far below. After giving his friend some time alone, Heero stepped out and joined him. His hands on the railing as he looked out to the secluded town, he asked, "Mind if I stay up here a bit longer?"
Smiling as he turned to his friend, Duo shook his head, "You can stay as long as you want." He ran a hand through his wind-blown bangs and sighed, "I better get back down to the watch room and finish up my inspections." With that, he began to walk around the balcony towards the glass doors.
"For what it's worth," Heero began quietly. Duo paused and turned to face the other young man. Taking a deep breath, the young sailor with his unruly hair blowing gently in the breeze spoke earnestly, "I know that your dad would be proud of you and of what you've done."
At those words, Duo's violet eyes began to shimmer the slightest bit as he smiled warmly and whispered, "Thank you, Heero." With his hands in his shorts' pockets, he turned and went back into the lantern room to descend back to his work.
Folding his arms over the deep green railing, Heero looked back out to the city below. As he lost himself in his own thoughts, the girl's voice returned to whisper once more, "You know I'll always be here for you." As warm as it was that afternoon, the young sailor shuddered at a sudden chill and hugged his crossed arms over his chest.
And just as the night before, he silently willed the memories away.
TBC...
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