Though we share this humble path, alone
How fragile is the heart
Oh give these clay feet wings to fly
To touch the face of the stars
-Lyrics to 'Dante's Prayer' performed by Loreena McKennitt
Elements of Great Design Part 8
"So you and this Queen Relena are not sweet on each other?" Quatre frowned in confusion.
Heero coughed violently as he lowered his canteen from his mouth while Duo's braided head fell back in a loud fit of laughter. Hitting the Black Mage in the arm when he recovered, the Fighter fixed him with a glare that only made his friend come apart all over again to the point of bringing tears to his violet eyes.
With a deep sigh, Yuy shook his head to the blonde young man, "No, we're not. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to say it, but we're no more than friends." Slumping forward in frustration as he dry-washed his face, he was only reminded all the more of Peacecraft at smelling the perfume on her handkerchief.
"If this been the gift from a girl that he thought of as his sister, he would have had half a mind to toss the vile pink thing into the campfire and be rid of the wrong picture that it painted," he grumbled through his fingers.
Still chuckling along with Winner, Maxwell reached over to pat his friend on the back. "Aw, we're just having a little fun, 'Ro," he reassured. "No harm meant. I actually think it's a very sweet thing that you and Relena have. At least you had her and Dorothy around when you were growing up." Gesturing across the fire to the White Mage, he inquired, "How about you, Quat? What was your life in Onrac like?"
Pursing his lips in thought, the veiled gifted replied, "Oh, there really is little that I could complain about. I was practically raised in the castle thanks to my father's connection as a member of the royal Council. Being the only boy out of thirty children, there were a lot of pressures especially on my shoulders to follow in my dad's ranks since-"
"Whoa!" Duo exclaimed, waving a hand in the air to cut the other boy off. Wide-eyed, he all but shouted, "You mean you have twenty-nine sisters?!" Equally taken aback by that, Yuy at least had the decency to close his slackened jaw over the surprising information.
Quatre's cheeks blushed a bit, his head ducking as he snickered, "Yes, well, when you have a lot of time and no concern over how to feed a lot of mouths I am sure that you can understand my mother and father not having a problem in bringing up as many children as they could. And to their credit, there were several deliveries of twins and triplets to get them that number pretty quickly."
Under his breath, the Black Mage muttered, "They breed like rabbits." Heero nodded shallowly, keeping his enlarged cobalt eyes on their newest travel companion.
His head shaking, Winner chuckled, "It was actually pretty nice to have that many faces around as I grew up. Of course, we all came into our different ways and drifted apart as we fell into our own places in this life."
Frowning sadly, he stared into the flames before him and shared, "When it was realized that magic flowed through my veins, my parents made their disappointment known. Because of my abilities, I would be taken in by other gifted and molded into a healer for the people as opposed to becoming a Councilman as my father had always dreamed his first son to be."
There was a hitch in Quatre's voice that made him stop to swallow down the lump in his throat before continuing, "Ever since I moved into the palace of the mages, I have not seen most of my family as they had cut ties with me aside from sending me monetary gifts in exchange for just having their presence and acceptance."
There was a flash of shadows in Duo's eyes that he tried to hide by turning his head away. However, Heero had picked up on it and glanced at the braided teenager from the corner of his eye in worry.
Clearing his throat, the Fighter gazed back on the White Mage and told him sincerely, "I am sorry to hear that, Quatre. All this time I have been wondering how anyone with a family would be as quick to accept leaving their loved ones behind as you had been."
"I am not exactly going to be missed for some time," the blonde smiled bitterly as he wiped a stray tear that had slipped past his defenses away. "Despite my fortunate upbringing in the sense of wealth, I did not always have the happiest of times growing up. However, I do believe that everything happens for a reason."
Shrugging, he went on, "I had to toughen up quickly. I was able to follow my training more intently so that I could know all that there is to my magic and how to wield it." Raising his head, he shrugged, "And I cannot help but think that maybe one day my family will welcome me back into their good graces with open arms."
Maxwell drew a deep breath and turned his brilliant smile back on his fellow gifted. "It would be a great loss on their part if they did not, Quat," he all but whispered sincerely. "You're already about one of the kindest hearted guys I have ever had the pleasure of knowing." Grinning, Yuy nodded in agreement to their new friend.
The White Mage beamed. "Thank you for that," he responded softly. His mouth opening in a wide yawn that he covered with a hand, he sighed and stretched as he suggested, "We are going to have to finish crossing the desert tomorrow if we wish to reach Lefein in good time, so we best get as much rest as we can."
Reaching for the long staff of his scythe, Duo nodded firmly, "Right. I'll take the first watch. You two get settled in." That said, he rose to his feet and headed away from their little ring. Ducking his head under the dips in the ceiling of the cave of sand and stone that had become their safe haven for the night, he moved past the horses that were already sleeping soundly without another look back.
Heero watched his companion's departure until the deep purple cape that flowed behind him was beyond his sight. "There is a great deal of pain in him," Quatre commented so quietly that it was nearly lost over the popping crackle of the fire between them.
Blinking, the soldier looked back to see the mage hugging his legs close against his chest with a profound concern on his face. "My magic emits empathic abilities in me," Winner explained. "From the moment I met that child of Shinigami, he is about the saddest creature that I have ever crossed paths with... and yet he smiles as though he does not have a care in the world." Staring at the rocky floor, he whispered, "So sad."
There was a twist of hurt deep in the pit of Heero's stomach at that. Swallowing roughly, he found himself on his feet and heading for the large mouth of the cave before he even realized that he had commanded his body to move. Easily shifting and ducking around the low drop-offs of the ceiling, he set his sights on the large mouth of the cave that revealed the seemingly endless stretch of golden sand that sparkled in light of the high moon.
When he reached the entrance, the Fighter came to a halt to simply take in the striking beauty of the scenery before him.
The Melmond Desert truly was a spectacular place.
High dunes rose up and descended over the sea of fine earth. In the occasional whirl of a gust, grains were picked up to float in the air like stardust. Off in the distance, the wild creatures of the night moved in packs and families as dark shadows from some other world...
Some other world. Only this was the same world that Yuy had lived in for many, many decades now. And only through this dangerous mission did he get to experience wonders like this when it had practically been beyond Romefeller's walls all along.
Cobalt eyes settling on the dark-clad shape perched atop a petrified tree's uprooted trunk, Heero quickly remembered the reason for his stepping out into the cooling evening. A slight shudder running through him against a chilly breeze, he waded over the deep sand beneath him to stand beside his partner.
His long rope of a braid slung over his shoulder, the Black Mage glanced over and greeted, "Hey. You should be sleeping."
"Thanks for that, mom, but I can look out for myself," the soldier snorted. The lopsided smirk on his face slipping, he asked softly, "Are you alright?"
It was then Duo's turn to frown as he blinked at his friend. "Just fine," he grinned in that way that the expression did not reach his eyes. "Why do you ask?"
The saddest of creatures even with a smile that knows not a care in the world. That was what Quatre had seen in Maxwell through his gift. It was something that Heero should have been able to recognize on his own through his observations of the child of Death. That endless chatter and laughter might have been heartfelt, but there was much to the loneliness behind them.
After all, Duo had spoken of the many years he had walked Gaia on his own.
Sitting on the end of the branch-like root that his companion was suspended upon, Yuy kept their eyes locked as he stated, "There is still a great deal about you that I do not know. And if we are going to work together to see about the great task that has been placed on our shoulders, it would be nice to be completely aware of who I stand beside when we are to fight."
"Oh, yes, the mission," Maxwell harrumphed darkly. "Everything is about the war and our great cause, isn't it?" Shaking his head, he stared back out to the ocean of blue-and-purple hued sand, he growled, "You couldn't possibly want to get to know someone just because you care or are the least bit interested, can you, Fighter?"
Those words struck as hard as any actual punch could have, causing Heero to reel back with wide eyes. He was perfectly aware that he was not the warmest of people.
All his life of training to become the soldier man he was, all that mattered in life was accepting and accomplishing missions. And while he originally thought that his coming to speak with the mage was to dissect the boy who also served as a key to possibly ending the threat of Mariemaia...
But now having that thrown in his face, he could not deny that there was more to it than that.
Swallowing roughly, Yuy responded from his heart. "No," he breathed. "I actually do care." His head shaking, he heard himself say, "We have not known each other very long but.. I can see that you and I might actually become good friends." An uncomfortable and unfamiliar twinge twisting in his heart, he managed, "And I do not have many of those."
Duo gasped, spinning his head back to gaze into the cobalt eyes watching him. Those vibrant violet eyes of his softening, the tension in his body faded and he asked in little more than a sigh, "What is it you would like to know?"
This time when a small smile curled his lips, there was a bit of that light back in him as he chuckled, "I'm a pretty complicated guy, in case you haven't already figured that out. So, you'll have to give me something specific to tell you."
"I have a feeling that what I am most curious about may be too personal for me to ask," the Fighter warned.
At that, Maxwell shrugged, "Try me. it might be something I would be happy to share."
Chewing on the inside of his cheek in consideration, Heero stated, "You never have spoken of your family." As he spoke, he spoke clearer and faster at the stricken expression and widening eyes of his partner. "The one time I began to ask about your bloodline, you were fast to shift the attention onto me. Just a moment ago, I saw the pain in you when Quatre spoke of his relatives... namely his father."
Slowly, the warrior leaned towards the gifted and asked, "What happened to your parents, Duo?"
With a sharp rush of air that escaped his lungs and coursed through his slacked jaw, the son of Shinigami paled at the actual inquiry. Shivering against a breeze that was not there, he wrapped his arms fast around himself and turned his whole slight frame forward again while his mouth closed with an audible snap.
"That... is a very personal question," Duo whispered, his voice both hollow and tormented. "And the answer may be something that ends any potential friendship between us as you will not like it."
Biting his lip, he closed his eyes and said, "You speak of how few friends you have had. Well you are my first and already my best friend. I can take the differences between us, but I do not think I would be able to stand having either your pity for or disgust of me, whichever the case may be."
Heero was quick to promise in a near shout, "You will have neither from me! I swear it on my honor as a noble Fighter."
Such a vow was as good as a pact made in blood. Every soul living in Gaia knew that. Maxwell was far from the least of those who appreciated the word of a noble Fighter. The only other thing that he never questioned was the prophecy of an Oracle.
But the blessed in Death was so still as he went on gazing before them that Heero thought he would not hear his friend speak again that night. Just as the soldier was about to move from the root at what he believed to be a subtle hint to give the mage space, Duo began quietly, "Children born under the Red Moon of Shinigami do not start out with violet eyes."
Freezing in place, Yuy blinked widely. Carefully lowering himself back onto the root, he watched and waited for his partner to continue when their gazes met once more at Maxwell's turning back to face him. "My eyes used to be as blue as yours according to my mother," the gifted teenager smiled sadly.
"Neither of my parents were born with a shred of magic in their veins, but that makes no difference when a child comes into the world under the Lord of Death's moon. Though they had heard the stories of what became of those brethren, my mother and father were convinced that I would be different... that no darkness would flow in my blood..."
Shaking his braided head, Duo frowned deeply, "But on the morning of my fifth birthday, no amount of hoping, denying or praying was able to keep the truth of my heritage away when I opened my eyes that morning."
A deep breath rushing from him, he lowered his head and muttered, "I can still hear my mother's scream when she saw me. She was never the same from that moment on, her mind lost over what I was." Heero felt himself tremble, an unspeakable urge to embrace his friend that he barely managed to hold back.
Following a long pause, the Black Mage lifted his head to bring their eyes together as he shrugged, "But father was determined to find a way to purge the Reaper's hold from me. Over the years, I was taken to more healers and wizards than I can say. All the while, my mother was sinking deeper and deeper into her maddening despair while I had the privilege of hearing the things that the people who tried to 'save' me were calling me... Monster. Demon. Beast. Evil. And I had yet to understand what I was capable of to deserve those names."
His breath hitched as he choked back a sob that came on suddenly. "One morning after I had physically turned nine, we were set up in the Aurora mountains during yet another journey to yet another healer when my mother woke me with a smile the likes of which I had not seen on her face in years. She was at such peace that I cried seeing her that relieved and happy. Then she kissed my forehead and my lips before standing and making her way from our camp..."
In a haunted strangle, his rough voice breathed, "And she flung herself from the cliffs." Gasping, Yuy's back straightened rigidly and his own face paled.
"Father blamed me, I knew that without his ever having to come out and say as much," Duo went on, reaching up to wipe a stray tear away. "He was colder to me, but still never deterred from his cause to purify me. No son of his would ever be a Demon."
A bittersweet grin curled his lips and he pressed on, "The morning of my physically turning eleven, I was thrilled when he suggested that we make a raft and go fishing. We had not had many father-son moments between us and I jumped at the opportunity." Feeling the ominous approach of something terrible, the Fighter's heart began to pound in his chest even as he silently willed the other boy to continue.
With another calming, slow release of air, the gifted looked out to the sands. "I should have recognized his calm. It was the same peace that my mother had before she took her own life. But I was so... damned happy to have my father back that I never picked up on what was coming until it was too late." That agonized smile returning as his eyelids slid shut again, he said, "By then... he was trying to drown me." A guttural cry escaped the soldier, a hand smacking across his opening mouth to cut it off.
Keeping his eyes closed for the images that rushed back to him, Maxwell stated, "He pushed me into the deep center of the secluded lake we were floating on and held my head under the water. Even as he pushed my hands away and pushed me as far down as he could, I just couldn't reason that the man responsible for making me would ever want me dead.:
"But when my vision began to darken and my chest burned from the lack of air, panic set it and this... strange warmth flooded me when I gripped onto the hand buried in my hair. I had no knowledge in what powers I had or how to use them and yet somehow I knew what to do if I wished to live."
"There was a surge from me the likes of which I had never felt before," the Mage recalled. "It came from the very core of my being that I had never tapped into before. And in its release, the fingers gripping my head slackened and the weight pushing me down was gone. That first gasp of air was better than anything I ever took until I found the body that was hanging over the edge of the raft." His own eyes shimmering, the soldier sniffled and held his breath.
A trail of thick tears rolled from his opening violet eyes Duo managed faintly, "After I buried him, I sought out Doma to know others like me so that I could learn how to control my powers instead of denying what I was. As it turned out, I was a pretty quick study and when I felt comfortable with my abilities, I went off to roam Gaia alone as my own means of penance for what I had done. My father was my first kill, but he was far from the last. Many others had the unfortunate luck of running into me... were foolish enough to think that they could kill me easily."
'I've had enough knives held against my throat,' Heero heard his friend's warning in his head yet again. Little did he know at the time that the remark was both literal and figurative. He thought of those many scars along the slight teenager's body. It was a terrible self-sentenced penance to walk the world that was filled with threats without a single ally.
Sighing, the Black Mage roughly wiped away the droplets from his visible cheek. "I live with the guilt of killing my father every day," he murmured. "And I know that it was either me or him in his last moments that would survive. But what's is most troubling is that if I had it all to do over again, I would have done the same without hesitating... So what does that make me? A Demon like everyone else in the world seems to believe or-?"
"No," Yuy was quick to respond softly. "You're human." To the wide, shimmering violets irises that snapped upon him, he shook his head, "Duo, you only wished to live as any other person in this world wishes. We're about to go into the worst nightmare Gaia has ever seen to preserve our existences and life as we know it. You did nothing wrong. What your father did was terrible. He had a choice and he made the wrong one."
Those gifted eyes searched him, ran over his face and his posture for any sign of the pity or disgust that he had been promised would not be there. None was to be found because Heero meant every syllable of what he had said... believed it into the depths of his being. The creature with the Fighter was not at all the Demon that he had originally thought him to be... he was a young man desperately trying to find his place in the world.
Drawing a deep breath, the soldier said quietly, "You... are a human being first and foremost, Duo.... nothing more nothing less, regardless of what abilities you may have."
He had more, so much more that he wanted to say but could not find the words. Once more, his arms practically ached to wrap the Black Mage in them, but he feared that raw need and so he stayed where he was.
The last of his tears fading from his eyes, Duo gave his best friend a small smile. "I really appreciate that, 'Ro," he whispered. "That coming from you means a hell of a lot more than you could ever know." Tightening his arms around himself, he stared back to the sparkling sands laid out before them.
Sensing the emotional turmoil in his comrade, Heero reluctantly rose to his feet. "I'll give you some space." He paused before adding sincerely, "Thank you for trusting me with your past... friend." Maxwell bit his lip and nodded shallowly without looking over lest he fall apart all over again.
As though approaching a skittish, frightened animal, the Fighter slowly crept close enough to reach a hand out and squeeze a sagging shoulder. "Wake me for the next shift as soon as you grow tired," he urged.
"Yea," the braided teenager whispered on the breeze.
Sighing, Yuy lowered his hand and turned to head back for the cave when he heard behind him, "Heero." Completely turning himself towards the mage, he took in the warm grin that curled the heart-shaped face watching him. "Thank you," Duo breathed sincerely.
Relieved, Heero returned the smile and nodded before taking his leave to get what sleep he could before taking the next watch...
Only there was no changing of the guard that night. When Duo woke him and Quatre, it was morning and they needed to be on the move out once more.
TBC...
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