In Loving Memory of Kai Foster
Notes: I need to give special thanks and gratitude to Deb for her insight and help in the progress of this story. Her efforts and support have made writing this must easier and more enjoyable.
Gundam Wing: The First Chapter Part 13
After arriving in the Sanq Kingdom only a few nights prior, Quatre sat up in his bet at the soft moan that came from Heero's bed across the room. With wide eyes, he watched as the Wing pilot stirred in his sleep, turning slowly from one side to the other with sweat dripping from his face. "No... please..." he whispered as his eyes squeezed tightly.
Jumping from his bed, Quatre quickly reached his side as he gently shook his friend. "Heero?" he called gently. Still, the other boy stirred with soft whimpers. Gripping onto his shoulders tightly, the Arabian shouted, "Heero! Wake up!"
With a sharp gasp and wide eyes, the Japanese pilot sat up, panting heavily. As he gathered his bearings, Heero closed his eyes and covered his wet face with a hand as he took a deep breath. His body shook slightly before he steadied himself enough to lower his hand again. Quatre's concerned gaze met his own when they opened. Softly, the blonde asked, "Heero... are you alright?"
Tossing his sheets to his side, Heero's eyes narrowed slightly as he replied flatly, "I'm fine." He rose to his feet and walked towards the door of their room before the matter could be discussed any further. Lowering his head, Quatre waited a moment before following after the other boy.
[Just a day, just an, ordinary day
Just tryin' to get by
Just a boy, just an, ordinary boy but
He was looking to the sky and
As he asked if I would come along
I started to realize that everyday he finds just what he's lookin' for
And like a shooting star he shines, and he said]
Leaving behind the grand estate where they had been staying, Heero walked along the beach, towards the majestic ocean. It was only at times like this, when most of the world was still sleeping, that he could step into the world in these clothes. The risk of being recognized by someone who would turn them to their enemies was too great to take chances.
Stopping just at the edge of the shore, the young pilot stood in silence as he watched the sun slowly rise over the horizon. The sea breeze gently brushed his unruly bangs as he sighed softly to himself, silently willing the nightmare he woke from to leave him at peace.
Quietly, Quatre walked up behind, nervously tugging at his purple vest as he approached the other boy. Heero didn't pay the Arabian any mind as he walked up behind him. Smiling to himself as he peered out at the sunrise, the blonde said softly, ""Before we came to earth, I really didn't realize how much we were missing on the colonies The engineers there did an impressive job of trying to replicate a sunrise with the lighting they had to work with, but it's pale in comparison to this."
[Take my hand, live while you can
Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand]
The Japanese pilot made no move to comment as he continued to stare ahead. Turning to his friend, Quatre asked quietly, "Heero?"
Taking a deep breath, Heero lowered his head a bit and closed his eyes as he replied, "I suppose you're right... I never gave it much thought until recently."
[And as he spoke, he spoke, ordinary words
Though they did not feel
For I felt what I had not felt before
And you'd swear those words could heal and
As I looked up into those eyes, his vision borrows mine
And I know he's no stranger
For I feel I've held him for all of time, and he said]
Quatre lowered himself to his on his heels, folding his hands over his knees as he cast his gaze down. With a small, sad smile, his whispered voice was nearly covered by the crash of the waves. "Trowa," he began faintly, "...I still can't help but feel guilty that he can't enjoy things like this anymore. I'm sure he would have loved this."
Without looking back at his comrade, Heero shrugged slightly and replied, "Trowa died fighting, just the way that he wanted to. You had no way of preventing what happened, so you don't need to feel guilty for his death."
Gasping softly, the blonde youth looked up at him with wide eyes as he said softly, "Heero." Peering back out to the ocean, Quatre smiled and chuckled softly, "You know, Heero, I same said the same exact thing to Duo before. He was devastated when we all thought you had died when you detonated Wing."
Unable to conceal his surprise as his cobalt eyes widened slightly, the Japanese pilot turned to the Arabian. He asked in a soft, amazed voice, "Duo... he blamed himself for what happened to me in Siberia?"
Still smiling, Quatre nodded, "Guilty is a light way of describing it. Duo lost sleep for weeks. He kept saying how it should have been him and not you that was ordered to self-destruct." Heero watched and listened carefully as the Arabian continued, "Duo kept hoping that what happened to you was just a nightmare that he would wake up from." Pausing and carefully considering his words, Quatre said quietly, "It was like a huge part of him died along with you... He missed you more than anything the galaxy could offer."
[Take my hand, live while you can
Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand]
Taking the other boy's words in, Heero turned to gaze out to the sunrise again as he released a slow, faint sigh. "Somehow, none of that surprises me."
It was obvious that Quatre hadn't expected to hear that as he looked at his comrade with widened eyes. "It doesn't?" he inquired.
[Please come with me, see what I see
Touch the stars for time will not flee
Time will not flee, can't you see]
Lost in his own thoughts as the sun rose fully over the horizon, Heero spoke in a distant voice, "Somehow, I always know that he's looking out for me... thinking about me. I can't explain it, but, even when he isn't with me, I can almost feel him with me. Other times, I see him, watching over me."
Quatre's aquamarine pools revealed his shock as he whispered in awe, "Heero." Realization filled his voice as he questioned, "That nightmare that you had earlier. Did it involve Duo?" Silence filled the air as there was no immediate response, but the blonde pilot noted his friend stiffen where he stood.
[Just a dream, just an, ordinary dream
As I wake in bed
And that boy, that ordinary boy
Was it all in my head?]
"It was just a dream," Heero finally commented. His tome was almost as though he were trying to convince himself more than the boy beside him. "I'm sure that he's fine. Knowing him, he's probably somewhere watching the sky like he always does when he gets the chance."
[Didn't he ask if I would come along
It all seemed so real, but as I looked to the door
I saw that boy standing there with a deal, and he said]
Looking at Heero in a new light, Quatre thought his hidden concern for the braided pilot endearing. He smiled and nodded reassuringly, "I'm sure he's doing just that. You don't need to take that nightmare to heart." Nodding without really hearing the self-assuring message, Heero remained lost in his own world, never hearing the blonde pilot call his name to see if he was listening.
[Take my hand, live while you can
Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand]
"It was just a dream," he heard his thoughts whisper to relieve his concern. Somewhere, that American was safe and planning his next move. Heero remembered the sweet smile that Duo had given him when they were locked together. Through the dim lights of the room and the dirt on his face, his violet eyes still shined brightly. "Duo," the Wing pilot's thoughts said softly as he looked up to the heavens. "... Yea... he safe somewhere, watching the sky," his thoughts finally convinced him.
[Just a day, just an, ordinary day
Just tryin' to get by
Just a boy, just an, ordinary boy, but
He was looking to the sky]
Duo sat atop a large pile of metal scraps behind the small house where he had been hiding on L2. His hands stretched out behind him and perched over the bolts and planks of steel beneath him, the braided pilot's head was peering up at the star-filled skies overhead. The moon really did look like a graveyard from where he watched. His focus, however, was on the Earth as it rotated miles beyond.
As she approached the tall stack of metal, Hilde called up to him, "Duo!" There was no response from the boy as she sighed deeply and folded her arms. "Always watching the sky," she mumbled to herself. Taking a deep breath, she called out louder, "Duo!"
Suddenly brought back to his world, Duo's eyes widened as he turned back to gaze down on his friend. Smiling, he waved, "Hey, Hil. Sorry I didn't hear 'ya right away. I must have zoned out a bit there." Jumping from the tall pile he sat atop, the braided pilot made a smooth, but loud landing as the girl winced slightly. Placing his hands on his hips, Duo smiled.
Letting her arms fall to her sides, Hilde advised him, "I just wanted to let you know that I might be able to get some more information on OZ. There are a few people I know that'll be stationed not far from here later this week. If they know anything about Barge, they'll fill me in."
Duo nodded, "Good. Any information at this point will be a huge help." Having said that, he walked past her as he made his way towards the house.
"So, what do you think about when you watch the sky?" Hilde asked his retreating back. The American stiffened slightly as he froze in his steps.
Without looking back, Duo answered quietly, "I think about the others mostly... Where they are... If they're alright." His voice whispered faintly as he looked to the skies again, "If I'll see them again."
Even as the words let him, Duo's thoughts flooded with images from the past. His vision filled with the memory of the time he gave Heero the small ceramic house when they had been staying in their shared dorm. The feeling of the Wing pilot's arms around him the night that they shared the same bed filled him with warmth at the recollection of that moment. As the memories continued, the image of Heero standing in the opened cockpit of Wing entered his mind. With a reserved expression and without hesitating, the Japanese boy lifted his detonator before his face as he pressed the red button.
Gasping sharply, Duo's eyes widened as he panted with sweat coursing down his face. "Duo!" Hilde called from behind him with a questioning look of his own. Quickly, his head snapped back to meet her concerned eyes. "Duo, are you alright?" she asked gently. "You completely blanked out just now."
Frowning, the braided pilot replied quietly, "I'm fine." Turning his back to his friend, he began walking towards the house as he added, "Must be my cue to get some sleep."
Sighing softly, Hilde replied, "Alright. I'll probably be out before you wake up. I'll get back to you if I hear anything about those new plans."
Peering over his shoulder, Duo smiled, "Thanks, Hil. Be careful." Having said that, he entered the house and closed the door behind him.
With a shake of her head, the young woman whispered with a frown, "Always running and hiding." Turning back to the heap of scraps where Duo had been sitting, Hilde looked up to the skies as she peered on the moon and the Earth where they hung.
* * * * * *
"I know that we can't count on OZ to be as quiet as they have been," Quatre disputed. "But for now, we have to keep our profiles as low as possible."
Dressed once again in his green tank top, black spandex shorts and yellow sneakers, Heero panted softly as he sat along the rocks separating the edge of the beach from the lush grass of the Sanq kingdom. Several miles from the mansion, the Arabian caught the Wing pilot running along the shoreline when he managed to stop him. Heero's face was smudged with sand and sweat that had collected in his exercise as he stared forward to the ocean. Quatre knelt beside him as he sighed deeply, "Heero, I know that this is frustrating you that we're still here. We won't be here any longer than we need to be. "
Heero still never looked at him as he gazed out to the sea. Desperate to get through to the other boy, the Arabian's voice rose in pitch as he continued, "I'm sure that there is something else that you can do with your time that won't draw attention to you. I wouldn't be surprised if OZ has any inside sources lurking about here. I'm not more comfortable than you are being here, but we can't take a chance at having a spy out here recognize us."
"Quatre is right," came a voice from behind the blonde pilot. Both young men turned back to find the source of the interruption. Dressed in her purple uniform, Noin approached the boys with a warm smile as she continued, "You've both been through enough to know better than to take chances like this."
Blinking his wide eyes, Quatre's nervous voice greeted, "Miss Noin."
She nodded, "I was about to check on you both when Relena told me that she couldn't find either of you." Taking a deep breath, Noin met Heero's cold cobalt eyes and his expressionless face. "Heero Yuy," she began in a calm tone, "I can't say that I'm surprised this waiting would wear on you before long. You don't belong in a place like this... Not with everything that's going on now."
As she walked closer, the woman smiled, "You're pilot Zero One, not a student of the peaceful Sanq kingdom." Quatre frowned and lowered his head in guilt. He should have known better that Heero's life as a Gundam pilot was the only life he truly knew. Noin understood that even better than he did.
Folding her arms, the ex-Lieutenant winked, "I am able to pull quite a few strings around here. There is a shuttle port not far from here that I can take out for the day. I know that it isn't the same as space, but at least we'll be able to be in the skies for a few hours. At this point, anything is better than being grounded."
Turning back to the Wing pilot, Quatre smile glowed as he cheered, "You hear, that, Heero!?" Quickly meeting the young woman's friendly eyes, he smiled and nodded excitedly, "Thank you, Miss Noin! That would be wonderful if you could do that!" With a slight nod, Heero nodded to her as he rose to his feet.
As they flew over the ocean in a private shuttle, Quatre smiled brightly as he took the controls. Sighing deeply in contentment, he reclined in his pilot seat as he took in the beautiful view. It was comforting to be piloting again. From her seat Noin chuckled softly to herself at the sight of the boy's enjoyment. Rising to her feet, she stepped from the cockpit and into the main board of the craft.
Sitting in the first row of cushioned seats, Heero peered out of the window to his left. Having cleaned himself, he still had the yellow towel wrapped around his shoulders as he silently watched the clouds float by. Though he had yet to speak a word since he was discovered on the beach, the Japanese pilot was unmistakably more at ease than before.
Noin smiled as she approached him and their gazes met. Folding her arms over the top of the seats, she leaned towards the boy as she said gently, "Heero... Miss Relena's wish to reach peace seemed as impossible to me as it does to you, now. But, I really think that there may be a chance this war will end with opened eyes. If you give the idea a chance maybe you won't be so quick to judge against it."
Sighing softly, Heero looked forward as he replied, "I am not a pacifist. If you believe that peace stands a chance in this life, you're entitled to that belief." Looking back out the window, he concluded, "I've seen too much to believe in such a thing as peace lasting. It's too idealistic. I'm a realist."
Her eyes widened, Noin frowned sadly, "Heero..." He never replied or looked back. His focus remained outside as the world passed below them.
* * * * * *
Catherine was beside herself, unable to sort the emotions coursing through her as she watched the teakettle sit over the stove burner. She hated leaving the main tent's back room, but she wanted everything to be perfect when she returned. Finally, the piercing whistle filled the air along with the steam pouring from the kettle's nozzle. Instantly, the redhead went to it as she turned the burner off and lifted the teapot.
Pouring a steaming cup of tea, Catherine made her way to the back of the large tent. Smiling warmly as she approached the small back room, she walked towards the slouched figure waiting for her. Lifting the cup of tea, the girl smiled, "Here you go."
Trowa's hands tentatively reached forward and accepted the offered cup as he replied timidly, "Thank you." Sitting on a crate, his wet jeans were the only clothing on him with a tan blanket draped over his bare shoulders. Bringing the rim of the cup to his lips, he gently blew over the steaming tea.
Resting her hands on the wooden box before him, Catherine's smile grew as she said, "I still can't believe that you're really here. It had been so long since we heard anything from you, none of us knew what happened to you."
Lowering his cup, Trowa frowned, "I... I don't know." There was a long pause before he lifted the glass to his lips as he continued, "I can't seem to remember anything. Somehow, I ended up on this Colony and then you found my on the street."
Gasping softly, Catherine straightened as she stated, "Well, don't worry about anything. You're safe here with me." Her warm smile returned as she assured him, "I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."
Sincere relief and gratitude filled Trowa's green eyes as a small smile spread on his lips. "Thank you, Catherine," he whispered.
Reaching behind him, the Latin pilot took a small, broken ceramic house into both his hands. Blinking in curiosity, the redhead asked, "What is that? It seems to be in pretty bad shape. Did you have it on you when you reached this Colony?"
Raising the small trinket towards his face, Trowa shook his head, but smiled all the same as he explained, "I found it when I got here. At one of the dorms in the city, one of the workmen had this in a box of trash. They said that it had fallen from one of the students' bags but they disappeared before they could return it." He paused as he traced the round base of the small house as he said softly, "I don't know why, but there is something familiar about this. I didn't want to leave it to be taken to the dump. For its condition, it still plays perfectly."
Trowa turned the small, gold key in the base as the sweet, lovely tune filled the air. Immediately, Catherine's eyes widened as she bit back a sharp gasp of shock. "That song..." she thought to herself. "It's the same one from my music box that boy was so interested in." The memory of finding her jewelry box knocked to the floor after the injured Wing pilot tried to lift it came to her instantly...
The redhead lifted the jewelry box and held it out to Heero with a smile as she said in a friendly voice, "Here you go." The Wing pilot blinked once in uncertainty before accepting the box with both hands. Catherine sat on the edge of the bed as she watched him and smiled, "You like it? It was a gift from our ringmaster for my last birthday."
Heero nodded once as he looked down at the box in his possession. The young woman continued, "The song is one of my favorites. Its called 'A New Day Has Come.'" She rose from the bed and began to make her way from the room as she winked, "Feel free to use it if you ever need it to relax. It always helped me."
"No. I don't want it," the Japanese pilot said suddenly. Catherine turned back with a confused look as she blinked. Before she could ask, Heero explained, "The song, it... reminds me of someone. It helped wake me and I thought it might help with the pain but..." His voice trailed and the young woman watched him with slightly widened eyes, trying to hide her shock that the normally quiet boy was sharing so much. Finally, Heero was said quietly as he held the box out to her, "It actually hurts more."
Catherine stood lost in the memory as the song continued to play. There was no mistaking that it was the same song. Trowa said it belonged to a student who had dropped it before they disappeared. It must have been another pilot. There was too much for it to just be a coincidence. "My, God... it must be," she whispered breathlessly with her eyes wide in realization.
Finally, she heard his long-lost friend call through her daze, "Catherine?" Shaking her head, she peered into his worried emerald eyes as he asked, "Are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Placing a hand on one of her pale cheeks, Catherine finally giggled nervously, "Oh, it's nothing. I'm just still in shock at having you back, that's all." Quickly, she gathered the empty cup that had been set down as she said, "The soup should be finished now. I'll go get that and make another cup of tea for you."
As she turned to leave, Trowa wasn't quite convinced that everything was fine. Still, he smiled, "Sure. Thanks again, Catherine." The redhead nodded as she left the room. Staring at the door, the tall pilot frowned to himself, "Strange."
Stepping into the kitchen where the pot of soup was waiting and boiling on the stove, Catherine's leaned her back against the wall as she slid to the floor. Covering her hand with a mouth, she fought the urge to cry out.
"Forgive me, Trowa," she whispered as she lowered her hand again. "I can't let them take you away again. I don't want to see you hurt again... Not again." Hugging her legs to her chest, Catherine shuddered in the silence.
* * * * * *
It was another clear and beautiful day in the Sanq kingdom. Taking advantage of the calm, cool weather, Heero decided to seclude himself in a large park several blocks from the mansion where he attended classes. Dressed in his school uniform, he sat on a wooden bench beneath a tall oak tree. Leaves of orange, yellow and red drifted around in the autumn breeze as the Japanese pilot focused his attention on the book he was reading.
"Room for one more?" a familiar voice asked softly, causing the boy to look up. Relena stood with her hands folded behind her back, her friendly smile warming her face. The wind blew through her blonde hair and her long school uniform skirt as she waited silently.
Shrugging, Heero looked back down to his book as he commented flatly, "It's a free country." Relena's smile remained as she nodded and seated herself beside him, leaving a reasonable space between the two of them as not to make him uncomfortable.
It was always obvious to the young girl that her feelings for the Wing pilot were not returned. Still, she found herself intrigued by him. Relena watched Heero read for a bit before her smile faded. Turning her gaze forward, she watched the leaves continue to fall as she spoke quietly. "I did some research on some of the things that you and the others had been doing before you came to the Sanq kingdom."
Heero snorted mentally. That comment didn't surprise him I in the least, though he wore his usual blank expression as he went on reading. "I'm sorry that one of your friends was killed," she whispered in sincere concern as she turned to him. Not expecting that, the Japanese boy's eyes widened slightly. Turning her head away again, Relena asked, "Did you know him well?"
Lowering his head, Heero's eyes closed as a he frowned sadly. He closed the book and lied it in his lap. Without looking up or opening his eyes, he answered, "Trowa and I worked together in the past. He was with me when I visited with the Noventas. Quatre and I watched when he died."
Relena shuddered as she wrapped her arms around her waist as she frowned, "I'm sorry. I can only imagine what that was like for you both. When I lost my father," she paused and sighed, "...well, the only father that I knew, it helped me appreciate what I had." Heero turned his head slightly towards her as she looked to the sky and continued, "With everything that the five of you went through, it's easy to see how important you would be to each other."
A small, wistful smile tugged at Relena's lips as she said, "It's comforting to know that even in a war like this, there is still a chance for something as precious of friendship to grow. Trowa... Quatre... Wufei..."
"Duo," Heero added faintly, his eyes still closed and his head still lowered. The young woman turned to him as she blinked in surprise that he had spoken.
She smiled again and nodded, "And Duo. All of you managed to make a connection that you never would have had if it hadn't been for this war. As much as we look forward to the war ending, at least you all have that much to appreciate from it."
Heero finally spoke. "I don't have friends. We're fighting for the same thing. There is nothing more that we share beyond that," he stated clearly.
Chuckling softly, Relena shook her head, "You don't really believe that, do you? After everything that you've faced together, you don't consider them any more than mere acquaintances?"
Instantly, the image of Duo's smiling face filled Heero's vision. His eyes widened slightly as memories of the braided pilot flooded him. Relena's voice continued through the images. "I'm sure that they mean more to you than just that." He felt Duo's lips on his own again from the kiss they shared in the cell. "What is it that keeps you from seeing that?" Duo's violet eyes sparkled brightly in contrast to his smudge-covered face as his bright smile graces his features. "Do you think yourself incapable of deserving that?" There was a long silence. "Heero?"
Slowly, Heero returned to the present as he blinked a few times to clear his vision. When their eyes met, Relena chuckled again as she turned her head away. "Well, at any rate, I am still devoting my work to seeing that peace remains after this war," she vowed aloud.
Cobalt eyes narrowing, Heero shook his head and growled, "Relena, it'll never work. After everything that you've seen over these last few months, don't you realize you're closing your eyes to the truth?"
"Closing my eyes to the truth?" she repeated. Rising to her feet, she smirked wickedly, "I should ask you the same thing." With her back to him, the young leader folded her hands behind her back as she peered over her shoulder and smiled, "You're the one claiming to have no friends, yet there are people who would lay their lives down to protect you."
Taken back by those words, Heero's eyes widened slightly as he watched her. Turning to face him, Relena's smile remained as she said gently, "Don't forget what we talked about, Heero. Don't take anything for granted. If you aren't careful, it can be taken away from you before you really get to appreciate it." With a wave, Relena turned and walked off as she called, "It was good seeing you, Heero. See you at class tomorrow."
As she walked off, Heero's mind was filled with those vibrant violet eyes again. Relena's words echoed through his thoughts. "You managed to make a connection... Do you think yourself incapable of deserving that..." But what concerned him the most was what was stated last. "Don't take anything for granted... If you aren't careful, it can be taken away from you before you really get to appreciate it..." Sitting back in the bench, a deep, shuddery sigh escaped Heero's parted lips. For the first time, fear shuddered through his body.
Around him, the autumn breeze continued to blow as colored leaves danced to and fro in the silence.
TBC...
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